Chapter Five
Five
Audrey waited all day on Sunday to hear from Theo again.
Every minute her phone screen stayed dark was another she spent fidgeting on her couch.
Every piece of her had been vibrating since their date yesterday, and she couldn’t stop thinking about how softly his lips had grazed against her skin, warm and careful and hesitant, as though she were something he was terrified to hold, to break, to shatter if he so much as breathed on her.
Until they’d finally kissed.
Every time she thought about it, an odd feeling settled into her stomach, sending it churning and roiling in a way that made her want to strip away her own skin simply because he wasn’t touching it right now.
Now that she’d had so much of him and knew what it was actually like to have him by her side rather than imagining it, she needed more.
And not having it, not having him, was maddening.
Imagination had sufficed before she’d gone out with Theo. He was a mystery she could puzzle through, turn over in her mind, analyze and savor every minute of the wondering.
But now? Now he was so much more. He was so much more of a sum than parts, so much more real than ephemeral, so much more of a totality than a construct.
Her imagination paled in comparison to the real thing.
It was the difference between a sketch and a painting.
And she still needed to add the shades of it, the highlights and the lowlights, the contrast and the shadows, just so she could see him whole.
She checked her phone again.
Nothing.
When no text from him had come through by 5:00 p.m., she took matters into her own hands.
Audrey | Okay, Mr. Sullivan: you surprised me last night.
Audrey | I take back what I said about you not having any game.
Audrey | I was wrong.
His response came immediately and without hesitation.
Theo | I told you: game recognizes game.
Theo | I have SOME skills.
More dots appeared on her phone screen and another message popped through.
Theo | It’s just that most of them aren’t exactly social.
Okay. That made Audrey laugh, and the butterflies in her stomach calmed a little.
Maybe Theo had been waiting by his phone too, anxiously hoping she’d text him.
Honestly, that did seem likely. And at least he was self-aware.
Probably too self-aware, if she had to guess.
She bit her lip while she wrote her response.
Audrey | Oh yeah? So what other skills are you hiding under that mask?
Theo | Plenty.
Theo | What are you doing tonight?
Oh. She wrinkled her nose at the pile of books and notes she had stacked by her laptop next to her on the couch.
Audrey | Homework, unfortunately.
Audrey | Midterms are coming up and I’m buried.
Audrey | Plus, my capstone project isn’t going well and I have to open the café tomorrow.
Audrey | Early night for me, I’m afraid.
It took him a minute to respond.
Theo | Ah. I thought you might be working today.
Theo | didn’t want to bother you.
“You’re not bothering me, Theo,” she mumbled as she typed the words onto the screen. “You can text me whenever you want. I spent all day hoping you would.”
Theo | You did?
She shook her head. Still so unsure.
Audrey | Yeah, you dummy.
Audrey | I told you I had fun yesterday, and now I miss you.
Audrey | Look at what you did—it’s all your fault, making me think about you all day and not texting me.
Dots, no dots, dots again—then they were gone.
There it was, the hesitation she’d been expecting. She could feel him sputtering on the other end of their messages.
God, it was so refreshing.
God, how she’d missed him.
His response finally arrived.
Theo | Then you’ll have to let me make it up to you, Miss Adams.
That got her to raise an eyebrow.
That was flirtier than she was expecting. Maybe he wasn’t as flustered as she thought he was.
Audrey | Oh yeah? What do you propose, Mr. Sullivan?
She waited. But he didn’t respond, or at least nowhere near as fast as he had been texting her today.
And when not even any dancing dots appeared on her screen, her stomach dropped and her nerves came crashing back with a vengeance.
Was she too forward? Did she scare him off? She typed another message.
Audrey | Are you coming to the café tomorrow?
Audrey | Seeing you during my shift would be a great start.
She tapped her pen against a textbook while she waited.
Finally, a message slid through.
Theo | I can’t tomorrow.
Theo | I have physical therapy in the morning and I won’t be done until after 10.
Theo | I won’t catch you in time before you go to class, and I don’t want you to be late on my account.
Oh.
Her heart sank. That’s right—he’d mentioned that earlier, and that must’ve been why she’d never seen him on Mondays, even though he’d started coming in much more often and staying longer than he used to.
She was about to respond to him when he texted again.
Theo | So I’ll just have to keep thinking about you—and missing you—until I can come see you.
Theo limped into the coffeehouse at 8:27 a.m. on Tuesday.
He didn’t even have a chance to limp up to the register with his mug before Audrey shoved Josh in front of it and got behind the machine, making them both their coffee and ripping her apron over her head while Theo paid and dumped the rest of his change in the tip jar like he always did.
His bag had barely hit the ground at their usual table by the time she was sliding their drinks onto its surface so she could throw her arms around his neck.
He blinked in shock for a moment before his eye crinkled and he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her off the ground and enveloping her in a big, warm hug.
His hood was still down today.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he whispered. His voice only betrayed the slightest bit of bemusement, but he sounded pleased, and she could practically sense his smile bloom under the mask when she held him tighter and nuzzled into his neck.
His fingers shook as he gently stroked her hair before setting her carefully back down.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
She beamed up at him, and her grin grew wider when she realized how he’d picked her up as if she weighed nothing. He was really strong, despite the tremble and the limp.
Speaking of which…
Her eyes darted down to his hip, and she frowned. “Are you doing okay? You’re a little late today.”
He grunted and slid into his seat, stretching his leg out and rubbing absently at his thigh.
“Rough day of PT yesterday. I’m really sore, and my hip’s giving me trouble again.
” His brow furrowed and he held up an apologetic hand.
“I had to have screws put in it, you see. Not a fun experience, let me tell you. But at least I’m not using a walker anymore. ”
“Oh my god, Theo.” Audrey’s frown deepened as she sat and took her coffee between her hands. “Why didn’t you say anything when I suggested a walk for Saturday? Should we not have done that?”
He shook his head and waved her worry away.
“No, I’m supposed to, actually. I have a minimum number of steps I have to hit every day for my physical therapy homework, so it was helpful.
And it’s one of the reasons I started coming to this coffee shop in the first place—I walk here, and it was the right distance away from home for what I could do in one stretch at the time. ”
So he did live in the neighborhood.
“One of the reasons?” She raised an eyebrow. “What are the others?”
The tips of Theo’s ears reddened, and he fiddled absently with the lid of his coffee tumbler.
“I…stopped leaving the house after—after a while. It got really easy, you know, with all the delivery services available. I could order anything I needed from my phone: groceries, supplies, films, you name it.” He looked down at his hands.
“My therapist said she’d stop doing Zoom visits with me once I was mobile after”—he stopped himself and changed direction quickly—“a couple of months ago, and she made me come to her office instead. That was hard enough at first.”
“Well, that’s understandable.”
Theo shifted his head from side to side. “Well, I—” He sighed deeply. “I used to be a little more social before all this, but I’ve always had trouble with anxiety. And talking to people. Especially new people.”
“But you seemed to have an easy time talking to me.”
Theo stared at her and then barked a laugh.
“Oh, no. Audrey, uh…” He huffed again and then shook his head before running a hand along the back of his neck.
Every last inch of his visible skin had flushed bright red.
“I would have never talked to you—ever—if you hadn’t said something first.” His blush deepened, and he wasn’t able to meet her eyes.
“The only reason I’m maybe doing a halfway decent job is because you said you liked me, and I sort of…
believed you. Or at least I really wanted to, anyway. ”
She leaned across the table and slid her hand under his left palm, and he curled his fingers around hers. “You’re doing a great job. And you should believe me.” She gave his hand a squeeze. “So you had to go see your therapist in person?”
He nodded and withdrew his hand, his fingers twitching slightly as he went back to flipping the lid of his coffee mug back and forth.
“Yeah, I went to see her. And that was all for a while. Home, and her office. And then she recommended I start going out again to other places, and to try something low-stakes. Like a café. Especially since I really like coffee.” Theo finally met Audrey’s gaze.
“I tried another place first, but it was awful. I had a panic attack, so I went home. And I stayed there. But Dr. Harper wanted me to sit at least thirty minutes out in public, even if I didn’t do anything or talk to anyone, so she pushed me to try again.
I felt so bad, my heart raced so fast, my hands shook so much that I wanted to die the first time I tried another café. Until I came here.”