Chapter Nineteen
Nineteen
Swimming out of her slumber was difficult.
Audrey’s eyes were so heavy, she couldn’t yet open them. But she could hear Theo somewhere nearby, keeping his voice low through the drone of the white noise machines.
“Okay, good. I’m glad you’re on board. Yeah, I thought it was a good idea too. I’m not overly thrilled, though, don’t get me wrong, but it feels better than the alternative.”
Her whole body was so heavy.
And so comfortable.
“Yeah, Audrey and I talked a lot about it last night. And that did help—it helped enormously. I told her about the accident. All of it. Yeah, even that part. Thanks. Audrey? Oh, we’re doing great. Yeah, I’ll tell her—thank you, Amelia. I’m glad she was here too.”
Theo’s sheets felt like silk against her bare skin, slipping luxuriously along her legs as she shifted.
His duvet was thick and heavy and made moving difficult, like last night when he’d first wrapped her up in it.
But she finally managed to turn over and blink a little, squinting through the soft pinkish-orange light of the salt lamp cutting through the darkness.
He was sitting on the edge of the bed clad in his boxer briefs, his phone pressed tightly up against his ear, watch already on and glinting in the glow of the lamp.
But when she moved, he looked over his shoulder and caught her eye, immediately leaning back to grab her hand and curl his fingers into hers.
She was glad.
She needed to touch him too.
She’d missed him while she was asleep.
“Yeah, I think it would’ve been so much worse if she hadn’t been. I don’t know what I might have done.”
The corners of his wide lips twitched upward in the shadows, and he shifted his own body, rustling against the sheets while he laid back down next to her, holding the phone away from his mouth slightly so he could kiss her without too much trouble. It looked comically minuscule in his massive paw.
The phone dropped back down to his mouth again, and Theo settled his head on her pillow, his thick, dark waves tumbling roguishly across his forehead.
God, he was handsome.
To think he couldn’t see himself the way she saw him.
It was almost unfathomable.
“I’m open to it. I don’t want to lose anyone else.
I’ve already learned that lesson once, and that was one too many times.
I’ll propose it when I see her. I don’t know if she’ll go for it, though she did say she was willing to do anything to make things right.
Uh-huh. Yeah, boundaries, I remember. I will. ”
Audrey brushed a few strands of his hair away so she could see his face better, and that earned her a full, crooked smile.
“I understand. When can I see you again? Can you squeeze me in soon?” A pause.
“Okay, I’ll take it. Thank you so much. I really, really appreciate it.
” Theo pulled the back of her hand to his lips.
His eyes darted all over her face, searching her features in the dim light of his room.
“Okay. You have a good weekend too, and I’ll see you on Monday. Bye.”
He hung up and tossed the phone onto the edge of the bed before pulling Audrey into his arms. “Good morning, sweetheart,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Did you sleep well? I’m sorry if I woke you.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s fine. I woke up on my own.”
“Are you terribly sore?”
“No.” She couldn’t help but smile softly at him while she ran her thumb along the rise of his cheekbone. “I’m a little sore, but not bad. Not at all. You were very gentle.”
He closed his eyes and sighed deeply in relief, snaking his arms around her beneath the sheets and drawing her into his chest. His scent enveloped her, warm and woodsy, tinged with musk and sweat and sleep, and she wriggled closer, burying herself in it.
She could stay like this forever, wrapped in his arms. How could she feel anything but safe and loved when his lips pressed so softly against her hair, over and over again, or when his hand combed soothingly through her waves, his palm nearly the size of her head?
He was gentle, he was a giant, he was hers.
And she was his.
Their puzzle pieces slotted together so perfectly, so comfortably, so precisely.
And somehow, out of all the places and all the people in the world, the universe had seen fit to let them find each other, and fit each other.
Would she ever tire of this feeling?
It seemed impossible.
“What time is it?” Audrey finally asked with a yawn. She was in grave danger of falling dead asleep again if she didn’t say anything.
“It’s just after ten.”
She blinked in surprise and eyed the blackout shades.
“I had to grab Dr. Harper on the phone between appointments, but I didn’t want to leave you in case you woke up, so I tried to keep my voice down.”
This was the latest—and deepest—she’d slept in years. Barista life meant she was usually awake by 6:30 on a good day, and 4:30 for the rest of them.
Well. Yesterday was exhausting. Perhaps it was no surprise she’d been out like a light once Theo had carried her upstairs and made her brush her teeth before they went to bed.
Such a nerd.
She loved him for it.
She turned back over and snuggled closer to him, tucking herself under his chin. His heartbeat drummed beneath her ear as he breathed, slow and steady and strong.
He was alive.
He was safe.
She’d have to keep reminding herself of that for a while now.
“What’d she say?”
Theo rubbed his eyes tiredly. “We didn’t have a ton of time to talk, but first, she wanted me to tell you how glad she was you were here last night, and how impressed she is with you—and also that she wouldn’t mind at all if you came in and talked to her about why exactly you’re so very mature for your age.
” He shot her a wry glance. “It reeks of trauma.”
Audrey snorted. “It’s cute you think I can afford your therapist.”
His dark eyebrows skyrocketed. “Oh?” he purred, burying his nose in the crook of her neck.
“You know what else is cute, sweetheart?” he murmured, nipping at the sensitive skin with his teeth.
When she yelped, he squeezed her tighter and pressed a kiss there.
His plush lips widened into a wicked grin, and he huffed in amusement under her jaw.
“That you still seem to think you’re going to have to ‘afford’ anything anymore. That’s adorable.”
He barked a laugh, full and deep, as if the very notion were ridiculous before peppering her neck with more nipping, playful kisses. She laughed and tried to squirm away, but his biceps bulged and tightened around her, keeping her locked firmly in place and at his mercy.
“It’s very cute you think I’m going to let you want for anything, or that I don’t take extreme, excessive pleasure in providing for you.” He growled that last bit, his voice rumbling deep in his throat—and, as if to drive the point home, he smiled and took her mouth in his.
She closed her eyes and relished the feeling of the kiss, of him, of his warm, dry hands on the sides of her head, brushing her hair behind her ears, of his lips, soft and gentle against her own.
She opened her mouth in invitation, in welcome, wanting, needing to feel him somewhere inside her where he’d found his place long ago, and when his tongue darted between her lips, he tasted minty and fresh and cool, like he’d just brushed his teeth.
But before she could explore him more thoroughly, he drew back, and with him he drew her bottom lip between his teeth, just barely grazing along it, lingering on their connection as if he were loath to ever be parted from her in any way before he spoke again.
“You’ll never want for anything, Audrey,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers. “Not with me. I’ll make sure of that.”
The certainty in his voice sent shivers down her spine, and she held her breath as his words fully wrapped around her and settled into her bones.
She hadn’t really considered what it would be like to be in a relationship before—what it might be like to actually have someone care for her, to partner with her, to have her back, always, fully and truly.
She’d never had true help before from someone she could rely on who was this close, or who wasn’t appointed to her by the state. Friends weren’t the same. Foster parents weren’t the same, not even Gladys.
Not in this way.
The enormity of that realization, of that change, and of how fast it had crept up on her might have frightened her if it were anyone else.
But now, after everything, that would be like being afraid of her own heart.
She didn’t know what to say, but Theo didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he only ran a thumb across her lips with a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“Dr. Harper reaffirmed that my mother did violate a pretty hefty boundary yesterday. But when she asked me how I felt about what I said, I…” He trailed off with a sigh.
“I told her I felt like garbage. Not because I was right, but because my mom…well, she did try to apologize. She never apologizes for anything, and this time she did. She did at least try to, anyway, but I didn’t listen.
And I screamed at her.” He closed his eyes and rolled his lips—the same way she’d seen his mother do.
Now Audrey knew where the tic came from. “I have very conflicting feelings.”
“She came into your house without permission and dredged up a lot of things in the process.”
“Well, yes. But…” He tilted his head from side to side with a hum.
“I mean, I did give her that key. And I went no contact with her and didn’t ask for it back.
I could have, and I didn’t. I even thought about it once and still chose not to.
I didn’t even change the locks. I didn’t block her number, and I could have.
I could have done all that, and I didn’t. Maybe that means something.”