Chapter 11
Griffin
Griffin: Guys, we need to talk
My stomach has been in knots since that day at The Park. Every day that I don’t deal with this–every day I don’t tell Eleanor how I feel–leaves more room for potential disaster.
And I love them, I really do, but if Jack and David are involved (mostly David), it’s a guaranteed disaster.
I told myself this morning that I would suck it up and tell the guys how I feel about Eleanor before the last week of school. And I’m still technically following through, even if I did wait to send that text until the last Sunday of the school year.
Jack: What’s up?
Griffin: Can y’all come over?
When neither of them reply, I send another text.
Griffin: I know Sundays are sacred
Griffin: I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important
Jack: …I guess. I can be there in 20.
Griffin: Thanks man
Griffin: David?
Still no response from him. I check the clock and see that it’s close to 8:30 PM, so I know his family dinner is over.
Griffin: David, don’t be annoying
Griffin: Where the hell are you?
Griffin: Hello???????
Jack: Do you still want me to come over?
One is better than none, I guess.
Griffin: Yeah man that’d be great thanks
Griffin: David, fuck you
If that doesn’t get a response of out him, nothing’s going to. I don’t have time to figure out what he’s up to–me and Jack can fill him in tomorrow at lunch.
Twenty minutes later, Jack is sitting on the couch, staring at me while he waits for me to start talking.
“What the hell do you think David is doing?” I mutter, stalling for time.
At this, Jack lets out an impatient sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Cut the shit Griffin, I didn’t disturb my Sunday ritual for you to beat around the bush.”
“You and your Goddamn ritual need to be studied in a lab, there’s no way you’re an actual sixteen year old boy, you’ve gotta be some kind of social experiment.”
All this gets me is a stern glare. Suddenly I feel like I’m in trouble at school. I still don’t say anything, picking at the callouses on my hands to avoid looking him in the eye.
“Alright then, I’m leaving.”
My stomach lurches with panic as he pulls out his keys and stands to go.
“Wait, no, dude don’t–”
Ignoring my protests, he starts heading upstairs.
This fucker is actually going to leave.
“Alright, ALRIGHT–I need to talk to you about Eleanor,” I say dejectedly. I’ve stalled til the last possible moment, and now there’s no avoiding it.
Jack whips around with a concerned look on his face and quickly retakes his seat.
“Ellie? Is she okay?”
“She’s fine, it’s nothing like that,” I say slowly.
He already looks annoyed again, so I quickly blurt out, “IthinkIlikeherandweneedtocalloffthebet.”
Jack looks confused. Then surprised. Then smug as hell.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that, could you repeat it?”
“Don’t be a jackass.” I hurl a pillow at him but he knocks it away as easily as you’d swat a fly. Completely unbothered.
He tries his best to look genuinely confused, but he fails miserably at masking the amusement in his eyes.
“I think I like her, and we–”
“You think?”
Oh, so he’s going to be annoying about it.
“Fine, I know that I like her. And we–”“Need to call off the bet, yeah I got that part. I just wanted to hear you say it loud and clear.”
Saying it out loud makes it feel way more real. One part of me is relieved to finally get it out there–but the other part of me is scared to death because now I have to do something about it.
“Okay, say more words.”
“Say more words?” I ask, “What the hell is that?”
“Oh, I guess it’s something I picked up from Abby–she says it to Ellie all the time.”
I didn’t know he was spending enough time with Ellie and Abby to pick up the phrases they use.
Filing that information away for later, I steel myself to bare my feelings.
This is so awkward.
“I mean, you know some part of me liked her from the first day we met.”
He nods and gestures impatiently for me to continue.
“I think it started for me the first night she hung out with us. Having her here just felt right, and when she took my spot, I thought to myself that I’d give up my seat for this girl every time if she wanted it.”
“That’s very chivalrous of you, Griffin.”
Jack isn’t even trying to hide his amusement anymore, and I know I’ll be getting a shit ton of “I knew it!”s from him for the rest of my life. There’s no unringing this bell I guess.
“Shut up man, this is weird enough to talk about without you giving me shit,” I huff out irritatedly.
He mimes zipping his lips and folds his hands in his lap, like he’s trying to be the most attentive student in Sunday School.
“It really changed when we started hanging out just the two of us, obviously. Everything I learn about her makes me want to know more. She’s…
she’s something else, man.” Heat creeps up my neck to my face and I know I’m blushing, but honestly, I don’t care.
“She’s like…okay, you know when we get the first real day of fall, and you didn’t realize how hot and miserable it was until the cool air hits your face for the first time, and you feel like you’re not just trying to survive the heat anymore?
That’s her. She’s a Goddamn breath of fresh air, a solution to a problem I didn’t know I had, someone that makes me want to grow up and try to be worthy of someone like her. She’s…she’s everything.”
“Damn, dude. When did you get so good with words?”
I run my hand down my face in exasperation.
“This is serious, Jack. We either need to come clean about this bet to her, or we need to swear to take it to the grave.”
His face quickly changes from smug to serious. He was against this bet from the beginning, and part of me thinks he’s going to leave me to deal with it on my own.
“Listen man, I know you didn’t want anything to do with this–”
“Yeah but I let it happen. And I think you’re probably right,” he muses. “We’ve got to tell her. Maybe we should sit down with her, all three of us.”
“ I think that’s our only shot–hopefully with all of us copping to it and apologizing, she’ll forgive us and realize that we all want to keep her around.”
“And then you can ask her out.”
I can’t help but smile at the possibility of me and Eleanor turning into something more. But my smile quickly fades when I think about her reaction. There’s no guarantee she’ll forgive us.
“And then yes, ideally I can ask her out. If she doesn’t hate me.”
We sit in silence for a moment–he’s probably just as scared of Eleanor cutting him off as I am. There’s something really endearing in their friendship, like they’re both the sibling the other always wanted.
“We need to sit down with David like, yesterday,” Jack says sharply. “I don’t trust him not to make an ass of himself and say something before we’ve got a game plan.”
I couldn’t agree more–that’s why it’s so damn frustrating that he’s MIA tonight. Anxiety suddenly grips me so hard that I feel like I can’t breathe.
“Hey man, it’s going to be okay,” Jack says reassuringly. “I knew something was up that time I drove her home and you slammed the door in my face.” Pointing at me, he adds, “Which was rude as hell by the way.”
I roll my eyes, then drop my head into my hands. I usually trust Jack immediately when he says something’s going to be okay, but I can’t shake the sinking feeling I have about this.
“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that you guys would be great together. And you obviously both have feelings, but you’ve been playing the dumbest game of chicken in history.”
He leans forward on the couch, looking more serious than he has all night. I know this is the part where he tells me what I have to do, and I don’t know if I’m going to like it.
“You need to put your big boy pants on and tell her. The only person suffering because you don’t know how to communicate is you.”
Looking thoughtful, he adds, “And Ellie actually. You’re wasting time that could be spent being happy because you’re too scared to be honest. So figure it out and go be happy.”
I nod my head–I don’t think I can open my mouth right now without throwing up. Being an anxious barfer is the worst.
With the conversation clearly over, Jack once again reaches for his keys to leave, and I don’t stop him this time.
Laying in bed that night, I stare at the ceiling and rehearse what I want to say to her over and over. I need to find a way to convince her that the bet was never meant to be mean, and that it’s been over for a long time.
My sleep is fitful and peppered with nightmares about Eleanor walking away forever. Getting ready for school the next morning, there’s a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. If I mess this up, it’s not going to be a short-lived argument—I’m risking losing the best thing that’s happened to me.
***
The only class me, Jack, and David all have together this year is seventh period–which doesn’t give me a lot of time to intercept David before Eleanor shows up.
And apparently Larkspur does end-of-year finals in a block schedule, so today is the last day we’ll have Spanish for the year.
Basically, I’m running out of time, and there is zero margin for error.
Of course it’s my luck that Eleanor is already in class when I get there, and David shows up right before the bell rings.
Leaning over, David whispers, “Dudes, I gotta tell you what happened this weekend. My mom went ballistic, I haven’t had my phone in days.”
I swear I actually feel my blood run cold. He doesn’t have a single inkling that we need to talk to him.
I need a backup plan.
I barely pay attention to the final, rushing through it as quickly as possible so I have more time to come up with a strategy. I’ve already got an A in the class, so even if I tank the final, it doesn’t matter.
The same can’t be said for my (hopeful) relationship with Eleanor. I’m getting more and more nervous about tanking something that does matter.