Chapter 11 #2
I decide that after class I’ll ask her if we can hang out that night to talk. David and Jack can come over early, and we can come up with a plan then. I think that’s the only way this is going to work.
When all the finals are turned in and the last bell rings, the whole class bolts like the room is on fire. Normally I’d feel that way after a final too, but I don’t care about being one step closer to summer.
I care about being one step closer to Eleanor.
I hang back, slowly gathering my things– and to my extreme annoyance, Jack and David hang back too. I know we always leave together, but c’mon guys, read the room.
Eleanor has taken her time to gather her things too, which makes me wonder if she can sense that I want to talk to her. We seem to be in sync a lot recently, and my heart starts to pound–maybe it’s a sign?
“Uh, hey Eleanor, I was wondering if we could–”
Before I can finish my sentence she interrupts me.
“Actually, I had something I wanted to talk to you about,” she says quickly, a determined look on her face.
I can feel Jack freeze, with David digging in his bag for something, completely oblivious to anything happening.
She lowers her voice and continues, “Listen, we’ve been spending a lot of time together lately. And, um, well…”
Her eyes on the ground, her hands nervously twisting the lace hem of her pale pink tank top.
God she looks pretty today.
She lets out a huff, steeling herself to say whatever it is she’s agonizing over.
“Abby told me I should do it, so I’m just going to do it.”
“Okay…” I say slowly. “Do what exactly?”
I’ve looked into them a thousand times, but when her sparkling blue eyes meet mine, my stomach swoops like I’m free-falling. It catches me off guard every time.
“Tell you how I feel.”
All I can do is blink at her. It feels like my entire body has gone numb. Is this actually happening? Did I fall asleep during the final and land in the dream I’ve been having for weeks?
“And that is…?” I cautiously ask. I don’t know if I’m ready to hear the answer.
“You’ve been an incredible friend.”
Oof. Ouch. Yikes.
She scrunches her nose in what must be a colossal summoning of courage, then blurts out–
“But I think I want more. Well, I know I want more. And I think you might too, and I won’t know until I ask, and I feel like we’ve been dancing around it, and I thought maybe I should take it into my own hands, so–” she rambles off at lightning speed.
“So here we are. I like you, Griffin Hart. Like, like you like you.”
I’ve imagined, dreamed, hoped for this moment a thousand times over. Hearing her say those words is the brightest joy I’ve ever felt–like fireworks and lightning bugs and Christmas lights wrapped in the sun.
I stand there like an idiot, desperately trying to find the words to convey how much I like her like her back.
“This is a really bad time to decide to finally shut up,” she says with a nervous laugh.
I manage to get my brain working again, stumbling over my words I’m so fucking excited to tell her how I feel. “Eleanor, I’ve wanted to–”
“Damn it bro, of course you got it done right at the last minute,” David interrupts with a shout. “You better use my hundred bucks to take her somewhere nice.”
My heart stops. My breathing stops. Time stops. Everything stops.
I didn’t fall into a dream–I fell into my worst nightmare.
Jack punches David square in the chest, looking angrier than I’ve ever seen him. David’s grin drops as he looks from me to Eleanor.
I quickly turn back to her, opening my mouth to try and explain before it goes any further. But I can’t get a word out before she slowly asks,
“What is he talking about Griffin?”
David tries to interject, but Jack silences him with a sharp look (and a hand over his mouth).
“Okay I know this is going to sound bad, and it was only a joke for like five minutes before we actually got to know you, but I swear…”
My sentence trails off, and my chest cracks open as her face shifts from confusion to hurt.
“I was a joke to you?”
“No, not a joke, Eleanor,” I say desperately. “You hated me so much, and David made this stupid bet that he’d give me twenty bucks if I could get you to be my friend–”
“But he said a hundred. What changed it from twenty to a hundred?”
I’ve never felt desperation like this in my life. How can I make her understand that it was never actually a bet to me?
“Eleanor, I swear it was never about that for me, it just gave me an excuse to–”
“Why did it change, Griffin?” she demands in a cold, firm voice that I’ve never heard from her.
I have no choice but to tell the truth, even though it’s the last thing I want to do right now.
“Because you want more than friendship now.”
This is the most awful scenario I could have imagined. I knew David might do something stupid, but I didn’t expect it to go so wrong so fast.
“So I was a bet to you. You’ve all lied to me from the very beginning.”
I can see her lip trembling as she looks at each of us in turn. Jack’s pained face shows more emotion than I thought was possible from my stoic best friend, and it makes me feel ten times worse.
David looks horrified, and even though I know he didn’t mean to do it, anger burns in my chest and at this exact moment, I don’t care if I ever see my oldest friend again.
They both stammer out protests, please, explanations, but she lifts her hand to cut them off and they fall silent immediately.
Her attention focuses back on me, and the tears in her eyes nearly send me to my knees. This beautiful ray of sunshine looks absolutely crushed, and it’s all my fault.
“You’re not who I thought you were.” Her voice breaks, and so does my heart.
In an instant, the hurt disappears from her face and is replaced with a cold, impassive look.
“Well, I hope you boys have fun celebrating your triumph.”
“No, Ellie, wait–”
“I swear it’s not–”
“Please believe me–”
Without another word, she turns on her heel and starts walking out of the classroom. I look at the clock, and only five minutes have passed since class ended. Is that really how fast your life can be over?
We rush after her, shouting apologies and explanations, and promises that everything we’ve said and done was real and not just some bet, but she keeps walking without a backwards glance.
When we exit the front doors of the school, we stop in our tracks when she abruptly turns to face us.
“I never want to see you guys again. Don’t call, don’t text, don’t anything.”
“Eleanor, please.” This time it’s my voice that breaks.
“Griffin Hart, I will never fucking forgive you for this.”
I think it would have hurt less if she hit me with a tire iron. I’ve never heard her curse like that–it sounds wrong coming out of the same mouth that sings in the car and rants about movie candy.
“And you,” she aims specifically at Jack. “I can almost believe this from them, but not from you.”
Jack looks nearly as heartbroken as I feel. I’ve never seen him open up to anyone besides me and David, and the thought of ruining one of his few safe friendships is more than I can stomach.
With one final look at each of us, she whispers, “Please, just leave me alone.”
All I can do is watch desperately as the girl of my dreams walks away from me.
Spinning around to face David, I spit out, “What the fuck is your problem dude?”
“Griffin I swear, I didn’t think–”
“No, you fucking didn’t,” I yell angrily. I’m being unfair, and I know it. But I don’t care.
“You know what David, I don’t want to hear from you either.”
“Take a deep breath, man,” Jack says, trying his best to calm me down.
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Jack,” I fire back. “I’m done.”
Before they can say another word, I storm to my car. They can find their own damn ride.
I peel out of the parking lot, with no intention of going home. I have no idea where I’m going to go, but I am painfully aware that wherever it is, I’m going alone.
I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I do know one thing–this is without a doubt, the worst fucking day of my life.