Chapter 16
SIXTEEN
august
DOMINIC
This was supposed to be my year. Coming back to Prairie Ridge was supposed to be a reset, a fresh start to get out of my own head and leave my demons behind in Kentucky. And when I saw Pen again, I knew in my fucking bones this year would be better.
And yet, I can’t get off this damn rollercoaster of emotions.
Aunt Gloria had been diagnosed with congestive heart failure almost a year before I moved back here.
An entire year, and she didn’t say a damn thing.
Her doctor was surprised how unaware I was regarding her condition.
When I demanded to know why he hadn’t done more to treat her, he held his hands up in defense.
“We did try, Mr. Miller. Your aunt went through various treatments before she decided she wanted to stop.”
“Why? Why would she do that?”
The doctor had shrugged. “She was exhausted, Mr. Miller. I remember she said once…” He had trailed off until I gave him a look, demanding he continue. “She said she missed her husband. When her time came, she said she didn’t want to fight it.”
I almost lashed out at him in a fit of anger, but Pen was right there, holding my hand and soothing me with her gentle touch.
She's been doing this a lot lately, and while I'm incredibly grateful, it's also starting to annoy me.
I hate feeling this way— constantly angry, unable to control my temper when it flares up, and having to rely on Pen to keep me grounded.
I need a fucking break— from my own thoughts, from dealing with the aftermath of Gloria's death, handling the transfer of business accounts to me, and ignoring messages from my mom.
I haven't even told Pen about my mom reaching out— despite her calm appearance these past few weeks, my mom is a trigger for her.
I can't have both of us erupting in anger, now can I?
See what I mean about a roller coaster?
Tonight, I’m taking Pen out on a date, since we’ve never officially gone on one. She asked to meet me at the restaurant while she closes up at the store.
“Can I get you something to drink?” a server politely asks as I tap my fingers on the closed drink menu. I only briefly looked at the cocktails— nothing exciting enough to tempt me. God, how can places like this keep churning out boring drinks?
“I’ll just take a vodka soda.” Tried and true, even if it’s boring as hell. I keep the drink menu, just in case Pen wants to look when she gets here.
“Hey, baby!” Speak of the devil… Pen walks up behind me and leans down to kiss my cheek before she sits in the chair across from me. She’s carrying a sparkly, purple gift bag and her eyes brim with excitement.
“Hey, how did the closing go?”
Pen waves her hand. “Ah, it was fine. You know, I ran the numbers again. We’re hitting record sales this summer.”
It’s something I noticed when I met with a financial advisor to go through Gloria’s bookkeeping. Despite the slow start this year, the bookstore is having the best summer yet. I push away the sting at the thought… that Gloria would have loved to see it.
“That’s great.” I’m unable to feign enthusiasm and, naturally, Pen catches my tone.
She reaches across the table and places a hand over mine, calming my twitchy fingers. “She would be so proud, Dom.”
“Most of it was because of her anyway,” I grumble, pulling my hand back. Pen’s face falls. “You, too. You’ve done so much creative shit for the store since I’ve been back. Give yourself some credit.”
Pen offers me a weak smile. Not the best start to date night.
Dammit, why can’t I just keep my mouth shut?
When the server returns with my drink, Pen orders the same for herself.
Deciding to change the subject, I nod toward the bag Pen had set on one of the empty chairs at the table. “So what’s in the bag?”
Her cheeks turn pink as she lifts the menu and pretends to scrutinize the choices.
It's absurd because I know Penelope well.
She had this menu memorized the moment we agreed to eat here.
I've never known anyone else who reviews a menu and decides what to eat days in advance like Pen does. "Nothing."
“Nothing? C’mon, Pea.” I smirk and hope she’ll look up to see me smiling. Maybe smile back.
She shrugs. “It’s just something from Chloe.”
“Something from your best friend? It looks like…” The words die in my throat as realization smacks me in the chest. “Pea?”
“Hmmm?”
A knot of anger starts to pull tightly in my chest and I try to press it down. “Did I miss your fucking birthday?”
Pen drops the menu and gives me a guilty look. “Technically, it’s today.”
Sitting back in my chair, I run my hand through my hair. “Goddammit. Why didn’t you say something?”
“It’s not a big deal—”
“Don’t lie to me,” I growl, leaning forward with my elbow on the table, unable to stop myself from pointing at her. “It is a big deal. I know you. You’re the type to spend an entire month celebrating your birthday. Why didn’t you say something?”
"There's just been a lot happening, Dom," she says with a sad smile, taking my hand and holding it in hers, bringing both our hands down to the table.
"I'll always be honest with you. It's really not a big deal.
Sure, I enjoy celebrating my birthday, but I'd rather spend time with you.
Not dealing with stuff about the store or settlements or"-- she gestures with her free hand— "all of that.
I mean it. Being with you tonight, on our first date, is much more important than my birthday. "
I want to keep arguing, but what's the point? She's right— we've been so overwhelmed, it's been hard to connect beyond urgent matters. We haven't had sex in a month. I feel like the world's worst boyfriend, stuck in the anger phase of grief, not even knowing when my girlfriend's birthday is.
“I’ll make it up to you tonight,” I promise, giving her a wink.
“Dom, you don’t have to—”
“Ah, no more arguing on your birthday.” She gives me a warm smile and I’m thankful we can move past this, even if just for this moment. “Now, don’t be studying that menu like you don’t know exactly what you’re getting already.”
Pen blushes, and, like a pendulum, my feelings switch gears to smitten. Fuck, she’s gorgeous.
“I don’t know what you mean,” she says, trying not to laugh.
“Mhmm, right.” I glance down at the menu and back at her. “I’m sure you haven’t looked at this menu several times in the last few days. And I’m definitely sure you haven’t settled on the chicken caesar wrap, subbing the side of chips for fries.”
Pen gasps in mock surprise, her hand flying to her chest. “Why, Dominic Miller, how do you know me so well?”
Smiling at her, warmth spreads from my heart, melting the icy rage and anger I’ve spent the last few weeks hardening up. Standing up from my seat, I step to her side of the table. Her eyes are wide with surprise as I take her chin in my fingers.
“Because I love you, Pea,” I murmur before giving her a deep, passionate, “I-love-my-fucking-girlfriend-and-it’s-her-birthday” kiss.
“Fuck, Dom! Yes, keep doing that!”
Pen tries to squirm out of my grip, but my arms are looped over her thighs.
With my face between her legs, I’m getting the most pleasure out of eating Pen’s dripping wet pussy.
Fuck, how have I gone this long without tasting her?
Hearing her moan in pleasure like this? Time fucking wasted, I think as I flatten my tongue and run it up her slit.
I suck her clit softly and she grinds her hips up, desperate for more. “Please,” she begs.
“Mmm no, baby,” I tease. I’ve been going down on her for almost an hour, my face is coated in her cum, and I can’t continue to edge her anymore.
I need to feel her clench and writhe with pleasure.
Pleasure I’ve given her. Narrowing my tongue, I swipe down before plunging deep inside her cunt, stroking her walls just inside.
She grabs my head, fingers tugging my hair as she comes with a scream.
A moment later, I release my grip on her legs and she falls back on the bed.
“My entire body is made of jelly,” she mumbles weakly. Laughing, I sit back on my heels and stare down at her. “I made a mess out of you.”
Licking my lips, I nod. “You sure did, Pea. Goddamn, you are delicious.” Lifting my shirt, I wipe off my nose and cheeks, cleaning off the places I couldn’t reach with my tongue.
Like a minx, she stares at me, splayed out on the pillows, her blonde hair looking a bit worse for the wear after the thrashing she gave it. Pen bites her lip and crooks her finger, beckoning me to her. “Come here, baby.”
I feel the pull to her, but it’s like I have a mental block. I can’t. Not yet. God, look at how beautiful she is, ready and waiting to take you. You’re a lucky fucking bastard and you’re fucking this up.
Swallowing hard, I smirk but shake my head. “Nah, Pea. Tonight was about you.” Lowering myself to the bed beside her, I wrap her in my arms. She’s tense, and I know she’s upset.
“Okay,” she mumbles against my chest. The disappointment in her voice makes me want to scream. All the anger and self-loathing rises to the surface and before I can explode, she whispers, “Whenever you’re ready. I’ll wait for you.”
She’s asleep and snoring softly in minutes, and I’m thankful she can’t feel the tears dripping onto her hair from my cheeks.