32. Annie
Annie
“So, everything’s kind of messed up?” Cassie asks.
“Yep, kind of,” I mumble.
Zayn is gone at work today, so I invited Cassie to come over to the apartment. After the other night, the date, the picnic on the beach, and the knowledge of Zayn’s past, I needed someone to talk to.
“What are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing,” I say. What can I do? With how things ended for him and myself in previous relationships, I can’t talk to him about what’s next for us. Everything is going so well right now. We are having fun, just like we agreed. Sure, some feelings might be there now, but they’ll go away. Right?
“Oh, Annie,” Cassie says, turning to face me on the couch. She places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes.
“You sound like Mom.” I roll my eyes, knowing she’ll hate that I said that, but it’s true.
“I just wanted to talk about it and hope that if I keep talking about it, then my heart will get the message. I know things are ending. I know it. So, if I keep reminding myself, maybe it’ll hurt a little less?
Or maybe these feelings will just go away before then?
” I sigh and throw myself back on the couch.
My eyes close and I take another deep breath because I know my feelings won’t go away.
Not when we still have two months left of doing this.
“I think I know what I’m talking about. I did have a similar situation, if you remember.”
“Yes, I know about your love story. How can I forget when you had a million articles written about you?”
“It was not that many.” Cassie’s response is defensive.
I dip my head and raise my eyebrows, giving her the look.
“Okay, fine,” she concedes. “It was a lot. But still, it’s not much different than the situation you find yourself in. I don’t know how we both fell for celebrities...”
“Yeah, I don’t know.” I lift my head from the back of the couch.
Cassie’s eyes widen and a hand shoots to her mouth.
“What?” I ask.
“You just admitted to me that you’ve fallen for Zayn.”
“I did not,” I spit out. I can already feel my cheeks getting warm from knowing that I just told a lie.
“Annie, I know when you’re lying. You’re not looking at me, your knee is bouncing, and you’re fidgeting with your bracelet.”
Fuck.
“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”
“Okay, okay. Just know I’m here if you need someone to talk to, okay? You shouldn’t have to carry all of this on your own. And I know that Zayn feels the same way. Well, not actually, but I can assume the way he looks at you is the way that Emmett looks at me.”
“Thanks, Cass.” I smile.
“Would you two want to double date with us tonight?”
“Tonight is our typical date night, so we can come after ice cream?” I ask.
“Or we can meet you there? I still need to try your flavor.”
“Yeah, we can do that,” I say. It’ll be nice to have Cassie and Emmett there.
“Great! Well, I’m going to get out of here. Just text me when you’re planning on leaving, okay?”
I nod, then stand from the couch, walking with Cassie to the door. She gives me a hug.
“Love you, sis. It’ll all work out, okay? Maybe it doesn’t have to end. You should talk to him.”
“I’ll think about it. Love you, too.” I smile because it’s all I can do.
While I wait for Zayn to get home, I figure I can take the time to catch up on some work.
Over the past few weeks, it’s been busy.
A lot of my primary communication from Greg comes through email, as does every correspondence with journalists, photographers, and any other contact.
I’m grateful to have a job that is flexible and enables me to work from anywhere, but some days it can get overwhelming.
My music is at full blast in my ears, and I’m ready to get some shit done.
For the next few hours, I sit at the island and catch up on anything I missed over the past few days.
Being around Zayn is distracting, and I’m used to doing a lot of these admin tasks at night.
That’s how it was when I first moved in.
Now, we spend most nights cuddled in front of the TV, and my laptop stays plugged in in my room.
The light dims in the apartment as the time passes, the natural light filtering out as the sun starts to set.
It feels good to be back doing things, even if the rest of my life is all fucked up.
At least I have this one constant. For now.
If Greg makes me consider moving to New York to keep working for his company, this will change too.
I’m about to switch over to researching new jobs when I feel a light tap on my shoulder. I scream, throwing my headphones off my head, and my body starts falling the opposite way, off the stool. Two strong, capable arms catch me. Hot breaths tickle the exposed skin of my neck.
“Miss me?”
Zayn. Immediately, my body relaxes in his arms, slacking at the fact that it wasn’t a robber or a damn spider coming to get me.
“I hate you,” I mumble as Zayn helps me get down from the stool. He doesn’t let me go though, just turns me around to face him, moving his hands to cup my jaw.
He leans down, makes sure I am meeting his gaze, then leans a few more inches toward me, taking his time to plant a kiss on my lips. “I hate you too.” One more peck, then he lets me go, circling around to the other side of the kitchen. “What’s on the agenda for tonight?”
“Besides being scared half to death by my boyfriend?”
Zayn chuckles, cracking open a sparkling water.
“We’re still going to the ice cream shop, but Cassie and Emmett are meeting us there.”
Zayn stops mid-drink and says, “Oh yeah? Double date?”
“Apparently,” I say, plopping back down in the stool to close out the tab open on my computer.
“Why do you not sound happy about that? You don’t want to be seen with me with people we know?” Zayn raises an eyebrow.
“No, it’s not that.” I shake my head. “It’s just... it’s different now that we are together together.”
“Do you not want me to touch you?” Zayn stalks closer, leaning over on the island. He slides a hand over to cup mine and draws circles with his thumb. The rhythm is enough to send me into the memories of the other night.
“It’s not that,” I whisper.
Zayn walks to me, placing his hand on mine inching it toward my shoulder.
His face is close to mine, his mouth hovers over my ear in his signature position, as he whispers, “Do I make you nervous?” He nibbles at my ear before dipping his head to press a kiss on my neck.
“Sometimes,” I admit, my voice still a low timber.
He moves my hair to the opposite side and his lips to the other side of my neck.
“You love it.” Not a question, a statement, because he already knows.
His teeth dig into the skin, softly, enough to feel the bite, and a whimper creeps from my mouth.
“Oh, how I’d love to leave a mark on you, Princess. Let the whole world know you’re fucking mine, no one else’s.”
“I dare you,” I say.
“No, I can’t. Not when we are about to go on a double date where I’m going to have to impress one of the only people in this world that means something to you.” He kisses me again and again.
“We can cancel,” I suggest.
“Not an option. I look forward to our date nights, and I need this time. I need this time with you.” One more kiss and then his hands replace his mouth, massaging my shoulders. I didn’t realize how sore I’ve been from hunching over all afternoon.
“Fuck,” I say.
“That good?”
I don’t have to see Zayn to know he’s smirking.
“That good,” I mumble.
“C’mon, let’s go get ready.” He plants a kiss on my head, then grabs my hand for me to follow him.