3
SADIE PULLED INTO the driveway of the home she shared with her aunt. A small farmhouse just outside of town, it was the perfect size for the two of them. Painted white with a deck that wrapped all the way around the house, beautiful wooden steps led to the front door with windows on either side framed in the same maple wood as the door. The sun was beginning to set causing the lights in the house to glow through the front windows, a beacon calling her home.
She turned off the truck and sat for a moment, not quite ready to go inside. While the house was normally her respite from the world, a place of quiet with lots of books and all the tea she could drink, it was becoming a reminder of all that was wrong with the world. Illness and financial strain saturated her thoughts lately and no matter where she went, she couldn’t seem to escape them.
She rested her forehead on the steering wheel of her truck, an eight-year-old Toyota Tundra JoJo had purchased for them to share; it being the perfect vehicle to transfer furniture to and from the store. Taking a deep breath in and letting it out, she prayed into the silence of the car. “Lord, give me…Strength? Wisdom? A nap? I don’t even know how to pray anymore.”
True to his word, James had contacted Gary who was more than happy to replace the window free of charge. He said the first one was a gift so a new one would be as well, God bless the man. By the time she and Moira locked up for the night, they had the window boarded up in a way that would hold until Gary could install a new one. Grateful to everyone who’d helped her, as well as how smooth the whole process had gone, she still couldn’t shake the fatigue that weighed her down.
Something as small as kids accidentally hitting a baseball through her window should be something that rolled right off her shoulders. And yet, her shoulders were already so loaded down, she feared the addition of one more small stress and she would fold like a house of cards.
It wasn’t as if she went through life intentionally wanting to be alone or handle things on her own. Though independent by nature, she really was more of a product of the hand she’d been dealt. Her father had never been in the picture. Pregnant and alone as a young woman, her mother had moved in with Sadie’s grandparents. They’d passed away when Sadie was nine, leaving the house and antique shop to JoJo. Angry and bitter about how life had turned out, Sadie’s mother had left and never looked back.
She shook her head. Her poor aunt. At twenty-one years old, she’d lost her parents, her sister, and inherited the family’s business as well as a scared, confused nine-year-old girl. Only twelve years older than Sadie, JoJo had become more of a friend than a parent and Sadie would literally be lost without her.
Sadie looked at the house. The silhouette of her aunt moved in the light behind the shutters that were slanted open a bit. How could she sit here feeling sorry for herself? JoJo had been handed so much worse in life than Sadie and yet Sadie couldn’t help but continue to feel sorry for herself. Yes, it was awful to watch JoJo be sick, but it was happening to JoJo and not her. The woman had carried the weight of the world on her shoulders for most of her life, and did so with grace. Sadie wanted so much to be just like her.
She grabbed her purse from the passenger seat and got out of the truck. Making her way into the house, she dropped her keys on the front table and hung her purse and coat on hooks near the door.
“I’m home!” she called out, even though she knew JoJo had probably heard her pull up.
“In here, Loves,” Jojo called back. She’d called Sadie “Loves” for as long as she could remember.
JoJo said the same thing each evening when Sadie got home, as if she wouldn’t find her aunt in the lounge chair in the living room – the one place she was most comfortable.
“I made some soup for dinner,” Jojo said.
Sadie’s shoulders sagged. On top of everything, and with limited energy, her aunt was cooking for her. She went into the living room and gave her aunt a kiss on the soft skin of her cheek. Sadie noticed her eyes were bright. That was a good sign JoJo had had a decent day. “You didn’t have to do that, you know?”
The murmuring of her aunt’s favorite program played in the background. A series that was set in the early 1900’s in a small town and appealed to JoJo, and to Sadie. It was full of history and interesting characters, not unlike Nearlake.
Her aunt smiled up at her. “I know. But when I do get a spurt of energy, cooking is one of the things I enjoy.”
That was true. JoJo was a great cook. And made the best cookies, too. Sadie just wished the guilt would fade over her aunt doing any of those things when she wasn’t feeling well. In the kitchen, she took the top off a pot and closed her eyes as she breathed in the scent of homemade vegetable soup. The aroma of onion and spices filled her senses. While dust was the scent of her days, JoJo’s cooking was the scent of home.
Sadie grabbed two bowls from the cupboard and scooped soup into each one. Preparing a tray for JoJo, complete with spoon, napkin and a glass of water, she brought it into the living room and set it on her aunt’s lap.
“Thank you, Loves.”
“You are most welcome.” She went back to the kitchen and made a tray for herself then sat on the sofa that was beside her aunt’s chair. After settling in, she lifted a spoonful of soup to her mouth, savoring the flavor and how the meal warmed her from the inside out. The muscles in her neck and shoulders relaxed for the first time all day.
“Mmm. I know I made this, but I have to say, it’s really good,” her aunt said with a chuckle.
“It is delicious, and you can absolutely say that whether you made it or not.”
JoJo smiled at her then spooned more into her mouth. Sadie smiled back, glad to see JoJo in such good spirits. No matter what was happening, her aunt was a glass-half-full kind of person. But with the breast cancer diagnosis that had knocked them both sideways, Sadie could see there were times when it wasn’t quite as easy for JoJo to have as bright a vision of life.
The doctors said that with a lumpectomy and radiation, they were optimistic they could get it all, and yet the possibility the doctors were wrong hung over Sadie like a dark cloud. JoJo was almost through her radiation treatments and with the fatigue and nausea and how she was feeling overall, it was tough to imagine her vibrant, outgoing, cheerful aunt would fully return.
At five feet, three inches tall and one hundred pounds soaking wet, JoJo was already tiny. Between the surgery and radiation, she’d lost some weight and there were times Sadie feared a strong gust of wind might blow her away. The soup turned in her stomach, her appetite gone. The mere thought of JoJo not being in her life tossed her emotions around like a rag doll. JoJo was the one person in Sadie’s life who had never left her. Sadie couldn’t bear the thought of her ever being gone.
“What is it, Sadie?” JoJo’s smile had faded, a look of concern on her face instead.
Ever since she was a little girl, it had been close to impossible for Sadie to hide her feelings from JoJo. That didn’t keep her from trying, though. Especially now.
“Nothing,” she shook her head.
JoJo placed her spoon down on her tray and placed her hands on the arms of her chair. “You’ve stopped eating and your eyes are heavy. I know you better than that.”
“I’m just tired.” Sadie spooned more soup into her mouth and forced a smile.
JoJo narrowed her eyes at her in suspicion for a moment but then picked up her spoon again and continued eating.
Sadie turned her attention to the television. “I love this episode.”
“Me, too,” JoJo said with a smile. “I just love when the Mountie comes rushing in to save her and yet she’s already dealt with the bad guy herself.”
Ah yes, the mix of a chivalrous act and an independent woman.”
They both laughed.
“It’s good to keep men on their toes,” JoJo said with a wink.
“Is that right?” Sadie teased.
JoJo shrugged as one side of her mouth tipped up in a tiny smirk.
“What? What is going on with you?”
JoJo laughed. “Just that you try to avoid telling me what’s wrong and yet, I know everything.”
Although it felt good to see her aunt have the energy to tease her, Sadie swallowed hard. Had JoJo found out about the rent? “Oh, really. Everything, huh?”
JoJo took a sip of her water then leaned back in her chair. “Well, I know enough.”
“Enough?”
“I know that the back window to the shop was broken. I know that a handsome police officer showed up and threw you off your game.” She stuck out a finger as she ticked off each comment. “And I know that you are trying to keep all of it from me, but you can’t because as I said, I. Know. Everything.”
Sadie’s heart rate calmed. JoJo only knew about the events of the day, not the financial stress.
“You honestly think that Gary Wall and I don’t talk? Or, for crying out loud, that Moira didn’t text me the minute James Larsen left the shop?
Sadie pinched her lips together. Of course. Sure, Sadie could keep the raising of the rent and even most of the the stress over the extent of the medical bills hidden, because her aunt was too worn out to go through mail these days, but avoid the town gossip text thread? That was a force of nature few in town had ever been able to avoid. Including Sadie.
“How often do you talk to Gary Wall?” Sadie asked, hoping the question would steer her aunt away from conversing about the window.
“Gary and I are good friends, you know that. And with him having to replace the window, he called me to ask if I wanted a specific kind or if he could surprise me.”
“Did he now?”
JoJo waved a hand at her. “Stop it. You’ve been giving me a hard time about that man for years.”
“And for years I have wondered why you keep friend-zoning the man.”
JoJo tilted her head and smiled. “From what Moira says, James Larsen sounds interested in you, and you won’t even friend-zone him.”
Sadie narrowed her eyes at her aunt. “Don’t use my words against me. And James Larsen feels nothing for me. He was helping a citizen of the town, that’s all.”
JoJo laughed. “Suit yourself. But I think that man has had a crush on you since high school.”
“Okay. You have lost your mind. James Larsen hardly knew who I was in high school and hardly knows who I am now. On the other hand, Gary has had a crush on you for centuries.”
JoJo wadded up her napkin and threw it at Sadie, which then bounced off her cheek and onto the ground. As both women laughed, Sadie’s heart warmed. It had been way too long since the two of them had had an evening filled with good natured ribbing and laughter. Moments that Sadie would never again take for granted.
Her aunt sighed and looked down at her bowl of soup. “This has been fun, but I am quite tired now. I think I’ll tuck in for the night.”
Like a wisp on the wind, the moment was gone.
“Of course, yes.” Sadie stood and placed her tray on the coffee table so she could take the one from JoJo’s lap. She put it in the kitchen then returned to hug her aunt goodnight.
“Thank you again for the soup.”
“You are so welcome, Loves. Get a good night sleep. And stop worrying so much. You’ll get lines in your face that have no business being there.”
With a chuckle and a small wave, JoJo headed down the hall to her room and shut the door. Thankfully, the primary room of the house was on the main floor so JoJo didn’t have to do stairs. The upstairs consisted of two bedrooms, one which was Sadie’s and another she’d turned into a combination library and home office. It wasn’t a large space, but enough to hold a few bookshelves and a small desk under a window overlooking the side yard.
Sadie waited until she heard the soft click of JoJo’s door before returning to her own tray of food. Her appetite gone, she took it into the kitchen and did the dishes then prepped the coffee pot to turn on in the morning.
She turned the television off and folded her aunt’s blanket. It was fortunate both Sadie and her aunt were the early-to-bed-early-to-rise type. But these days JoJo tucked in for the night even earlier than normal, leaving Sadie to fill the evenings vegging out to a television show, reading a book, or finishing up any work she may not have gotten to in the store that day.
She locked the doors and turned off lights. As she made her way up the stairs, she tried to do so quietly, but her feet felt heavy, each step an effort to not disturb JoJo.
Inside the office, she turned on the desk lamp and sat down. A stack of mail sat before her, a few days’ worth she’d tossed there to deal with later. Looking out the window, she watched as the neighbors placed pumpkins on their front porch, the light from their front sconces glowing in the night.
Jan and Evan were a couple in their sixties who’d moved to Nearlake in retirement. Jan checked in on JoJo during the day and many times had brought them meals. They were a true blessing to have next door. They laughed as Jan tried to carry a large pumpkin, only doing so was close to impossible since she could hardly see over it. After kissing her cheek, Evan took it from her, his tall, broad frame able to carry it easily.
What must love like that feel like? Sadie had dated in college and was even serious with one guy to the point of considering marriage, but it had faded as soon as she said she wanted to live in Nearlake the rest of her life. That seemed to shut down relationships pretty fast. Although she meant it, was living in her home town an easy excuse to get out of commitment?
JoJo had never committed to marriage. In the few times they’d discussed it, JoJo said she hadn’t met the right person, but deep down Sadie wondered if it was because of all the responsibilities JoJo had. Had JoJo chosen raising Sadie and running the store over love? Sadie hated to think she was the reason her aunt would live life alone, but was she doing the same thing?
Rubbing her eyes, she took a deep breath and grabbed her letter opener from the top drawer of the desk. Even though she wasn’t sure how to pay all the bills, going through them and getting organized might help inspire her to find a way.
Sadie considered herself a glass-half-full person as well. Unfortunately, these days it felt as if her glass held merely a few drops, and she was too exhausted to think of how to fill it up again.