15. Chapter 15 #2
How could she settle for such a loveless existence when she had tasted the possibility of more?
Between her and William there was a definite spark.
One she yearned to explore, to see if it would develop into something that would last a lifetime.
She would probably get burned, but better to be burned by her fiery encounters with William than to consign herself to a life with no hope of love.
She could not marry Hugh. He could not give her what she most desired.
He reached out and laid a hand on her own. “I see my offer has taken you by surprise. Dwell on it, Catherine, and answer me when you’re ready.”
Kitty murmured something incoherent that he must have regarded as encouragement. He squeezed her hands in an altogether too familiar manner, which sent shivers down her spine.
With a few mumbled words, she fled the room. How could she have been so wrong about him? Foolishness was her only explanation. Her growing affection for William had blinded her to what was in front of her eyes.
William gazed at the canvas before him. It was undoubtedly his best work, but it still lacked the expression which would transform it into a masterpiece. A door opened at the far end of the room, and he looked up, expecting to see Miss Barrington enter, but it was only a servant.
He consulted his watch and then tucked it away where it could not get damaged by paint splatters. What had happened to the two women this morning? He was eager to finish the portrait, but there was no sign of his muse or her companion. Was Kitty still closeted with Mr Barrington?
After waiting a few more minutes, he went in search of his quarry. The butler informed him that the young ladies had gone into the garden, and William set off in pursuit. What could have taken them outside when they knew he was expecting them in the Long Gallery?
He stopped in his tracks. Could Mr Barrington have proposed already? Despite his teasing, he hadn’t supposed the man would offer for her so soon.
William hastened his footsteps. Poor Kitty. It would put her in an awkward position to reject the man’s proposal. No wonder she was too discomposed to face Miss Barrington—or him.
How mortifying for her to discover he had been right all along. He had to find her. To reassure her that he wouldn’t gloat and that he would do anything in his power to help her. As her brother would do if he were here.
The gardens were not extensive, and it didn’t take long to prove that neither lady was there. Where would Kitty have gone?
He dismissed the cliff path as too public and headed through the gate on the right. The track wound through the trees and then up some stone steps to where a ruined church building spread out before him.
As he neared the top, he heard a female voice coming from within the walls. Kitty’s voice. He peeked in through one of the glassless windows and spied her walking up and down inside the ruin, talking to herself. As he drew nearer, William caught some of her words. She was praying.
“Is this the way you want me to walk, Lord? To shackle myself to a man who is of an age with my father, though my heart is not in it. If there were a chance—”
Passing William’s place a second time, her eyes flicked in his direction. She must have spotted him through the empty window frame, because she broke off mid-sentence.
“How long have you been standing there?”
“A while.” He walked through the ruined doorway to join her. A quick examination of her face showed no evidence of tears. That was a good sign. Her current situation couldn’t have distressed her too much.
“It would have been polite to make me aware of your presence—or are you in the habit of eavesdropping on others’ conversations?”
William screwed up his forehead. “I thought you were praying. Calling it a conversation suggests you expect an answer.”
“And that surprises you?”
It did, but he was loath to admit he was disconcerted by Kitty’s unwavering faith in God despite all that had happened to her.
“Did Mr Barrington propose to you?”
“As you’ve been listening to my prayers, you already know he did. Feel free to gloat all you want. You were right, and I was mistaken. I’m still perplexed why he chose me. I’ve no money, no connections—”
“You haven’t accepted his offer, have you?”
William held his breath. The thought of Kitty and Mr Barrington was just so wrong.
“No.”
He breathed easily again. “I’m relieved to hear that you’ve rejected him—”
“I have not.”
“What? But you will, won’t you?”
She refused to meet his eyes. “What does it matter to you? Unless you are intending to marry Laura, in which case I understand you might find it somewhat disconcerting to have me for a mother-in-law.”
What a ghastly thought. He wasn’t sure which part was worse. Marrying Miss Barrington or watching her father with Kitty.
“We do not all have the luxury of wedding for love, William. I don’t know who your family is, but you’re no penniless artist. You’ve never had to worry about money in your life, have you?”
He shuffled his feet, dropping his gaze. He couldn’t dispute it.
“Your silence speaks volumes.”
“But you won’t marry him, will you? You said your heart was not in it. That you would refuse him if there were a chance. A chance of what?”
Kitty waited until he raised his head and then stared up at him. “You misheard me. There is no chance. No chance at all.”