27. Chapter 27 #2
She hugged her arms tighter around herself. “If you insist.”
“I can’t marry you without my father’s permission because I’m not of age. If he doesn’t give his consent, will you wait for me?”
Her mouth opened, but no words came out. Had she heard him right? She hadn’t misread his intentions. He wanted to marry her. “I take that back. I don’t understand. You have distanced yourself from me since we visited St Mary’s. When we discovered the truth about my father.”
“Yes.”
“You admit it?”
He raked his hand through his hair. A thing he only did when he was nervous. “I’m sorry. I was trying to figure it out.”
His words rankled. “Figure out what?” If she was good enough for him when it was quite clear she wasn’t?
Not pretty enough. Not rich enough. And now not respectable enough either.
“Whether you could deal with the fact that my father was illegitimate? If it took that long to decide, then no, I won’t wait for you, because you will only disappoint me again. ”
Had she really said no? She wanted to snatch it back as soon as it snuck out of her mouth.
William closed the distance between them, unfolded her arms from around her body, and grasped her hands with his own. His eyes were wet as he stared into hers. “Please, tell me you didn’t mean your no.”
Of course she didn’t mean it, but she wasn’t ready to admit it yet. She had to be sure she was not opening up her heart only to be crushed again. “Why wouldn’t you talk to me? I was struggling with what we’d discovered. You weren’t there for me—and it hurt.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll keep saying it until you forgive me. It is no excuse, but I was shocked to discover your grandfather’s name and I reacted badly.”
“His name? Not the lack of marriage?”
“The two together. My grandmother—the Duchess of Wessex—is a Hampton by marriage. Lord Edward was the Duke’s younger brother. If your father’s parents were unmarried, it makes the connection…complicated.”
Complicated? That was an understatement.
“You perceive the problem? It might take some time to persuade my grandmother to accept the match. The scandal might upset the Duke. But I’m very close to her. I’m sure I can win her over.”
The very words that were supposed to reassure Kitty did the exact opposite. It seemed likely she would be rejected by someone who meant a lot to William. What if the Duchess never came around? Would she persuade her grandson to give Kitty up?
“The other person I need to convince is my father. He said I wasn’t ready for marriage when last we spoke.”
Kitty pressed her lips together and tried not to smile. “Perhaps you weren’t.”
“Ouch! You never were one to mince your words, were you?”
“I shan’t apologise. I witnessed your unreadiness.”
“Does that mean you think I’m ready now? We could always elope to Gretna if my father refuses his permission.”
Kitty rolled her eyes at him.
“Only joking. I would like my wife to be accepted into society.”
“And I have no wish to add fortune hunter to my list of shortcomings—but enough talk. When do you depart?”
His smile vanished. “Mr Barrington has come as close as he dares to throwing me out of his house. We must depart today.”
“We?” He was asking her to leave with him now? Before he had obtained his father’s consent? To risk being rejected on every front? “I can’t.”
“I’m not going without you, Kitty. We’ll go to my grandmother’s home in Weymouth. There is nothing improper about it. My sisters will be there.”
“You are not thinking straight, William. How could I stay in your grandmother’s house when you’ve as good as said she’ll disapprove of me? It would be presumptuous, to say the least.” And hardly likely to endear her to the match.
“She’ll come around. I’m sure of it.”
For both their sakes, Kitty hoped she did.
But she couldn’t take the risk of opening herself up to hope, only to have it dashed when his family dissuaded him from marrying her, as she expected they would.
If his grandmother was that important to him, her influence would be tremendous.
“I’ll not stay in her home without her blessing. ”
William pouted. “You can put up in a boarding house. Mrs Crowley runs an excellent establishment on the seafront.”
“Who would pay for that? You cannot support me without risking my reputation.”
“Charlotte and Hetta will help you.”
“Even if Lord Harting withholds his consent? I won’t make your sisters choose between helping me and obeying their father. It might cause a rift in your family. I will stay here with Laura until he gives his permission.”
He released her hands and let them fall, defeated. “What if he doesn’t?”
“If you feel the same way in six months…”
“You think I’ll change my mind.”
Kitty could hear the hurt in his voice, but he wasn’t seeing the bigger picture. “I am afraid that if you cannot win your family over, they will change your mind.”
“You’re wrong, Kitty,” he said, squeezing her shoulder with his right hand, “but whether or not you believe me, please let my sisters take care of you. I fear for you. We suspect Blake is working with the smugglers, and I don’t like to think of you living in this house with him.
Even Mr Barrington is nervous. When I mentioned to him that Mr Jenkin would soon be able to identify who was responsible for his accident, he told me in no uncertain terms not to get involved, for my own safety. ”
“There can be no reason for the smugglers to hurt me.”
His brow lowered. “I hate leaving you here.”
How she longed to reach up and run her fingers through his ruffled hair to soothe his frustration, but such an intimacy might cause her resolve to waver. She had to be brave and stay here. For his sake. To protect his family. “It is for the best.”
William wiped a tear from her cheek and leaned in toward her. She held her breath. Was he going to kiss her? His mouth hovered mere inches from her own. At the last moment, he lifted his head and pressed his lips against her forehead instead. How disappointing!
“I won’t make you promises I have no power to keep.”
Was that why he wouldn’t kiss her? He wasn’t ready to commit himself, despite all he’d implied? “Then I will make you no promises either.”
His mouth hardened. “You still don’t believe I’ll remain faithful, but I will. When I’ve secured my father’s consent, I’ll come back for you, Kitty. God bless you and keep you safe.”
“God bless you too.”
As William turned and strode up the garden, Kitty’s hand rose to the spot he had kissed. Silent tears fell down her cheeks. Letting him leave without her was so much harder than she’d let on.