28. Chapter 28
Kitty watched William walk up the garden until he disappeared into the house. Out of sight and out of her life. She wiped her eyes and sniffed hard. Why was it always her lot to be left behind? Her brother had gone to war, her grandfather had died, and now William had departed.
Catherine Bruce, don’t you dare pity yourself. You weren’t left behind. You chose to stay because you are a coward and you were too scared to fight for him in case you lost.
Kitty chewed on her bottom lip. Why was that inner voice always right? She’d claimed she was being brave for the sake of his family, but in reality, she was too fearful of being hurt to risk going with him.
Protecting herself from disappointment had turned her into a coward. She might doubt his feelings were strong enough to survive his family’s disapproval, but what if they were? Was she dismissing any chance of a future with him because she was too afraid to hope?
Why hadn’t she encouraged him to return? She needed to promise she would be waiting when he came back for her. She raced up the garden as fast as she could.
In her eagerness to reach William before he left, Kitty failed to see where she was going and collided with Hugh in the entrance hall.
“My dear Catherine, you look quite ill. Please sit down.”
She glanced at the front door, which stood ajar, and stepped toward it. Hugh was right there beside her, hooking his arm through hers as she hovered on the threshold.
The travelling chariot was waiting outside the house. William was facing away from her. He was climbing inside. Another moment, and he would be gone.
She tried to pull free to go after him, but the strength of Hugh’s arm prevented her. As the horses began to move, William glanced back through the carriage window.
Kitty waved her hand frantically, trying to make him stop, but the vehicle kept going. He’d left—and there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t run after him and promise to wait for him. She was trapped.
“Ah, so you are sorry to see our honoured guest depart. I suspected your heart was not untouched, but you are wise to let him go. I would hate to witness you besmirch your reputation by entering a clandestine relationship with him.”
Kitty bristled. As if William… As if she…
Hugh reached out and pinched her chin. “You are innocent in the ways of the world, child. You dream of a happy ending, but he will never marry you. The Duchess of Wessex would disown him for contracting such a misalliance.” It was no more than she had feared, but Hugh was wrong about William.
He would not be cowed by his grandmother’s threats.
“Indeed. The scandal might even send her husband to his grave. That his wife’s grandson would stoop so low as to wed the offspring of his brother’s by-blow—”
How could Hugh be so cruel as to suggest such a thing? It wouldn’t be such a tremendous scandal—would it? A seed of doubt had been sown, which must have been his intent. But why did he wish to eradicate any hope she had of marrying William?
As the carriage disappeared from sight, Hugh squeezed her hand possessively. She wanted to yank it away, but his grip was firm.
“With Lord Droxford gone, I trust you will be able to think clearly about my proposal of marriage and give me a positive answer. There has been no word from your brother. I fear you are all alone in the world. I cannot offer you what your heart desires, but I can provide you with a comfortable home.”
Kitty narrowed her eyes. Why did he continue to seek her as his bride when he had denigrated her parentage so thoroughly and suspected she was in love with someone else?
“You wonder why I still want to wed you? Because I can do what Lord Droxford cannot. As your husband, I will have the power to write to the Duke of Wessex on your behalf. His Grace will pay handsomely to keep such a scandal buried. You will be well recompensed for the way your grandmother was treated.”
This was why Hugh wanted to marry her? He must have known about her grandfather’s relationship to the Duke all along. Thank goodness William had been brave enough to tell her before he left, so at least she was prepared.
But how could Hugh believe she would be motivated by such a cause? Did he know her so little? She could no longer pretend she was considering his proposal. Every feeling within her revolted.
She leaned away from him, pulling her chin in hard against her throat. “No!”
Hugh wrinkled his nose in disdain. “Given your background, this is your only chance for a respectable future.”
He led her inside and shut the front door before dropping her arm as if she had the plague. “Don’t be so quick to scorn my offer. It will not stay open indefinitely.”
He walked away, leaving Kitty in the entrance hall, quivering like a jelly. William was right. She was not safe here. She should have left whilst she had the chance. All she could do now was pray he would come back for her.
William could not get his last view of Kitty out of his head. Seeing her standing so close to Mr Barrington had twisted his insides. He spent the entire journey to Weymouth trying to decide why she was waving at him. To convince him that she would be all right, or to wave him out of her life?
He had asked her to wait for him, but she’d given him no assurances. Did she think his return so unlikely that she would accept Mr Barrington instead? The notion was unbearable.
Twice, he’d been on the verge of turning the horses around to make her leave with him. But then he remembered why she had insisted on staying and kept going. He must persuade his father to consent to their wedding.
The carriage pulled up outside his grandmother’s house, and the door opened before him.
He walked up the steps, but did no more than nod at Rowson.
His dissatisfaction with the way he had left things was mounting.
He hurried upstairs and headed for his bedchamber, but as he strode along the corridor, his twin burst out of the drawing room.
“Will! How lovely to see you. You’re just in time for dinner. Shall I ask Rowson to lay another place?”
“No!”
“No need to snap.” She enfolded him in a sisterly hug. “What’s wrong?”
He shook free of her embrace. He didn’t want anyone to touch him. Not now. His frustration had been building since leaving Rufus House, and he doubted his ability to keep his temper in check.
Charlotte crossed her arms and stared at him. “It’s Kitty, isn’t it?”
Trust his twin to pour salt on the wound. “Who made you an expert on love?”
She blanched and retreated into the drawing room, but before he’d taken two paces, Anthony came out in her place.
“What have you done to distress your sister?”
William scowled at him. “Leave me alone.”
He tried to walk away, but his friend grasped him by the arm. “Not a chance. Lotta says something’s wrong, and I intend to find out what it is before you upset her again.”
Anthony marched him into the drawing room and shut the door with his foot before releasing him. Both his younger sisters stared at him with more compassion than he deserved after snapping at Charlotte.
“Where’s Kitty?” asked Hetta.
“Back on Portland.” Instead of here. With him.
“Then you’ve let her go?”
“No. She wouldn’t come with me.”
Incredulous glances passed between the three of them, but it was Anthony who spoke. “She refused you?”
“I didn’t ask.”
Hetta shook her head in despair. “I thought you loved her.”
“I do, but how could I propose when I could not guarantee Father would give his consent? You predicted what Grandmama’s reaction would be, Charlotte.
I tried to explain to Kitty that I wasn’t free to offer for her yet.
That I want her to be welcomed by my relatives, not judged for things she can’t control.
I asked her to come and stay with you until I came of age, but she refused to risk dividing the family if Father withheld his permission. ”
His twin drew her eyebrows together. The pain in her gaze mirrored his own. “Oh, William, will you really marry her when you turn twenty-one? Even if Grandmama disapproves?”
He closed his eyes and counted to ten before reopening them, blinking away the moisture that clouded his vision. “I might not have the chance.”
“Why not?” asked Hetta. “She’s not going to marry Mr Barrington, is she?”
Bile rose into his mouth as he recalled his last glimpse of Kitty, leaning on that man’s arm as she waved goodbye.
“They looked mighty cosy on the doorstep as I drove away.” But that wasn’t what upset him the most. It was her lack of faith in him.
“She thinks if Father refuses his consent that I’ll change my mind.
Or rather, that the weight of family disapproval will change it for me.
Kitty made no promise to wait for me. Perhaps I was mistaken in thinking she cared for me as much as I do for her. ”
Anthony tipped his head back and stared up at the ceiling before directing a piercing look at William.
“I refuse to go through this again. Far too painful. Your family seems to have a propensity for difficult relationships. I watched my best friend moon over your sister Eliza for weeks until matters were resolved, and I’m not about to let you make the mistake of watching the woman you love marry another. ”
Both his sisters nodded in agreement.
“Love is worth fighting for,” said Hetta. “I’ve only met her once, but I can see Kitty’s got sound principles. What Father would call moral fibre.”
“I fear he will disapprove of the match as much as Grandmama.”
“I disagree,” she replied. “He won’t bow to the Duchess’s opinion. When has he let a person’s past dictate their future? He will be more concerned with Kitty’s character than her pedigree.”
Hope flickered within him. Hetta was right. Had he made a huge mistake, delaying his declaration because he feared his father would not approve?
“I expect you made a hash of it,” said Anthony. “You said you would marry her if you gained your father’s consent to the match, but didn’t actually offer for her. That’s like giving her an IOU without her knowing the size of your bank balance. You did tell her you loved her, didn’t you?”
He had told her he loved her—hadn’t he? “Maybe not in so many words. I let her know I cared—”
“Not the same. I care for my horses, but the love a man has for a woman is so much more. No doubt you persuaded yourself out of kissing her as well. Am I correct?”
William scraped a hand through his hair. His friend was right. He had messed it up.
Anthony folded his arms and shot him a despairing look. “Don’t make the mistake of letting her go, or you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
“You need to return in the morning,” said Charlotte. “Refuse to take no for an answer.”
“Be the man she needs you to be,” said Hetta.
William grimaced. “I’m not sure that Mr Barrington will let me in the house again. He more or less banished me.”
“Then we’ll go in your stead,” Anthony said. “Your sisters and I will drive over to Rufus House in the morning to see her.”
“We’ll inform her you are distraught…” said Hetta.
“…and beg her to come back with us to prevent you from wasting away,” added his twin with a gleeful grin.
It bolstered William’s spirits to have them rallying to his cause. “Don’t return without her.”
“You won’t come with us?” Charlotte asked. “You need not come to the door.”
William shook his head. “No—but you go with my blessing. If my sisters choose to help the woman I love, who am I to object?”
There was another reason for staying in Weymouth, which he wouldn’t admit out loud. He was scared that Kitty might say no all over again. He didn’t think he could deal with that face to face.
It still rankled that she thought he would change his mind about marrying her. He would prove that she was wrong. Show her how serious he was about her. He would write that letter to his father at once. Throw himself on his mercy.
Because if Kitty came back with them tomorrow, he was never going to let her go again.