Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
It was a lot harder not to get his hopes up than he originally thought—especially after everyone kept telling him they thought he would make it.
Jacob needed a dose of reality. He needed someone to give it to him straight. Numbers. Probability. He wanted to know if he was putting forth all this effort, what chance he might have at not making it.
Maybe it was the unknown that was getting to him.
Hallie was right but he was never going to tell her that. He was hiding his fears from everyone. Inside, his body was in knots. While on the outside, he told everyone he was excited to get back to it.
“Again,” Dr. Drake told him. “I want to see three more reps exactly like that.”
Inwardly, Jacob groaned. His muscles were screaming. Who knew having his neck immobilized for so long would result in losing strength in muscles he didn’t even know he had?
Huffing and puffing, he completed the exercises. Sweat dripped down his brow and he didn’t even feel like he’d done much.
“Don’t look so put out,” his therapist said, clapping an encouraging hand to his back. “It’s only the first day. You have a few months before you need to even think about getting back in the saddle to practice. You’re doing great so far. One step at a time.”
Jacob scowled at the floor. He’d thought that getting free of the cast would make him feel closer to his end goal. But he wasn’t even close. Therapy. Then practice. Then maybe a couple competitions to get his mindset right.
At this rate, he’d be lucky if he could even stay in the saddle long enough to be scored.
“None of that,” Dr. Drake called from where he stood near the towels. “Half of your effort has to come from up here.” He tapped his temple with his finger. “You have to believe you can get there in order to push yourself to your limits.”
Jacob didn’t even have the strength to argue. The worst part was that Dr. Drake was probably right. And yet Jacob couldn’t get past the wall of doubt that continued to build with each exhausting exercise.
“You’re done for the day. Go easy at home. Ice that leg if needed. Good work.”
Hallie was waiting for him outside when he emerged from the building. And one look at her was all he needed for the tension in his shoulders to release. There was something about this girl that just made him feel like he could handle whatever was thrown at him.
The day they’d talked about the expectations for their relationship had been difficult. He’d half-expected her to get offended and break up with him right then and there.
A tiny part of him wondered if that would have been for the best.
But then he reminded himself that intrusive thoughts wouldn’t get him anywhere. Dating was a new experience for him and no amount of insecurity would be his downfall. If they had to end things, it would be for a good reason.
He slumped into his seat. “You’re sight for sore eyes,” he murmured, leaning over to kiss her.
She accepted his offering, her hand slipping around the back of his neck to hold him in place. “I missed you.”
Chuckling, Jacob withdrew. “I was gone for an hour.”
“An hour too long.” Hallie grinned at him and started the car. “So now that you’re done for the day, what do you want to do? Should we go out and celebrate? We can get something delicious from that steak restaurant…”
He eyed her. “Is it bad that all I want to do is what we’ve been doing? Go home. Pick a movie. Take it easy.”
Her knowing smirk caught him off guard.
“What?” he demanded.
“You realize that before you got hurt, you rarely hung out at home, right? I can’t remember a single time when you invited people over to do anything—me included.
You like to be out with friends. I always thought it was because you don’t get to see them as often as you’d like because you’re always traveling, but I also realized that you like your privacy. ”
Why did that sound like judgment? There was nothing to indicate she thought it was bad, and yet he didn’t like the way her words made him feel. Was it that he closed people out of his home life? Or was it the statement about not having time to spend with his friends due to traveling?
She kept chattering on. “I can’t say I don’t like the change, though.” That was when she glanced at him then frowned. “What’s the matter?”
Shaking off the discomfort her statement caused, Jacob smiled at her. “Well maybe I didn’t realize that I have everything I could want right at home. Maybe when everything else is figured out, we’ll see what everyone else is up to.”
“Or we could do another karaoke night,” she purred.
He shut his eyes and threw his head back with a dramatic motion. “Anything but karaoke, please.”
She laughed.
And when she laughed, his heart sang. He loved being the person in her life who could make her carefree enough to share that side of her.
“Hey,” he said when they’d both gone quiet. “Do you think I could have one of your pictures?”
She stilled then swiveled her head around to look at him with curiosity. “Why?”
It was his turn to laugh. “I’m not going to judge you if that’s what you’re wondering. I’ve seen your work, remember? And I like it. I was thinking it might be fun to draw one of the pictures you’ve taken of someone at the rodeo.”
Hallie blinked a few times. “Really?”
“Yeah. It’s not like I can get the detail right when I’m sketching from memory. It’s easier to have a subject in front of me. And heaven knows that there’s no way to freeze a scene when I’m there in person. So, yeah. I want one of your pictures so I can draw it.”
A small smile tugged at her lips, and he knew in that moment what her answer would be. When he’d found her up on that hill in the same pen as that angry bull, he never would have thought that this was where they would have ended up.
He’d connected with her in so many ways. They’d bonded over his love of chess, their love of art, movies, and even the rodeo. It was getting easier to watch his old clips with her and even some of the current competitions that were being aired on television.
“Sure, you can pick one out when we get home,” she said in answer to his question. Then she tilted her head. “Would you… would it be weird…”
“Spit it out, Hallie,” he chuckled.
Her face burned bright red. “Would you mind drawing one for me, too? One of the pictures I took of you?”
Stunned, all he could do was stare at her.
He hadn’t even considered drawing himself.
He’d planned on looking for the most aesthetically pleasing positioning of a rider and his horse.
But the more he thought about it, the more he liked her idea.
Not only would doing so allow him to practice his drawing skills, but it would allow him to focus on the details of his leg positioning and his posture.
What better way to study technique than to draw it?
“Yeah, sure, Hallie. I’d love to.”
Her answering grin only added to his growing excitement.
Even though he’d told Hallie that he wanted to draw from one of her pictures, tonight he had other plans. She was seated on the couch beside him. They were supposed to be watching the scary movie he’d picked out, but she’d grabbed the book she was reading.
He didn’t care. They were spending quality time together and rather than watch the movie himself, he was watching her. He was sketching her.
She had her legs curled up beneath her and she was chewing on her fingernail as she read. Her hair fell around her face in gentle waves and she wore a tank top with her pajama pants.
Stunning.
Even without the makeup or other things she did to herself to become ‘presentable’ to the public, she was absolutely breathtaking.
Jacob smudged a shadow with his thumb then glanced up at Hallie again to find her watching him.
Their eyes locked for endless seconds while they studied one another.
He could already imagine what might be going through her head.
If she had a camera, she might want to capture this moment for herself.
Her smile was slow and knowing. “Are you drawing me?”
He tucked the sketchbook to his chest. “No.”
The book was immediately placed to the side and she crawled toward him. “Yes, you are. You’re drawing me when you said you wanted to draw from one of my photographs.”
Jacob didn’t have time to scramble to his feet. And it would be worthless to hold the book out of reach because she had the upper hand. “I never said when I would draw that photograph. I still plan on doing so.”
She lunged for the book, but he shifted so she missed. Losing her balance, she toppled over him. At this point he had the book over his head and stretched as far as he could with one hand. The other hand was resting on Hallie’s hip, preventing her from crawling farther up his body.
Their eyes connected seconds later. Heat rushed in his veins, flooding his whole body with desire. His hand trailed up her back and the notebook fell to the floor behind him. Jacob cupped her face with both of his hands and pulled her closer.
Lips grazing, he exhaled a moan before deepening the kiss.
When he had Hallie in his arms, everything felt right in the world.
When she smiled, there was sunshine. Nothing had ever felt this right before.
Not his job. Not his long-term goals. It was exhilarating and terrifying all at once because he knew in an instant everything could change.
Hallie shifted from where she was straddling him. She probably thought she was putting too much weight on his aching body, but she couldn’t be more wrong. Her hands moved to his hair, and she tugged gently to get better access to him.
Their kiss grew more heated by the second and all he wanted was to lose himself in her. A phone buzzed on the counter and they broke apart. She looked just as dazed as he felt. Was he as much an escape for her as she was for him?
She smiled as she glanced over to the counter. “I think it’s yours.”
He shook his head and pulled her close again to steal another kiss. “It can wait.” The buzzing stopped and he grinned wickedly. “Right now, I just want to spend some time making out with my girlfriend.” Jacob dragged her close again, but the buzzing started up once more.
Hallie laughed as she climbed off him and headed for the phone. She held it up for him. “It’s your brother.”
Jacob got to his feet and closed the distance between them.
He caged her in against the countertop and curled her hair around her ear as he answered his brother’s third attempt at calling him.
“Must be an emergency if you’re this insistent on reaching me.
” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Hallie’s forehead.
“Mackenzie is pregnant!”
Hallie’s eyes widened. Clearly Ryker’s boisterous voice could be heard through the speaker. “That’s wonderful,” she called, “congrats Ryker!”
“Is that Hallie?” Ryker asked.
Jacob chuckled. “Who else would it be?”
“Tell her thanks. We’re excited. She’s going to be due in the spring. We’d love it if you’d come by for a visit. Meet all the kids.”
Jacob glanced at Hallie who nodded at him encouragingly. This would be the first time he spent time with Ryker and Mackenzie after the big blowup. He’d never met his nieces. He just knew their names. “Are you sure she would want that?”
“Are you kidding? It’s about time we set things right, don’t you think? Sawyer and Kennedy deserve to know their uncle. I know we’re still working on our relationship, but I think this would be good for all of us.”
“Don’t overthink it,” Hallie whispered. “They’re your family.”
He wrapped his free arm around the small of her back and pulled her close. “Yeah, I think we can make something work,” Jacob said quietly.
“Really? That’s great, man. We’ll set something up the closer we get. Unless you want to come by around the holidays?”
Jacob frowned. “I’m not sure what my schedule will be like. I hope to be training.”
“Oh, right. The competition in Vegas. Okay, yeah. Just let me know, okay?” his brother insisted.
Jacob nodded more to himself than anything. “Yeah. I’ll let you know.” He hung up the phone and tossed it on the counter. “I’d say you’re a bad influence, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.”
She grinned, her arms draping around his shoulders. “You love me.”
“Yeah, I do.”
Her eyes widened and she blushed. That was when he realized he’d said it out loud. “Jacob?”
He shook his head before pressing a quick kiss to the crown of her head.
“Don’t overthink it.” He used her words from before.
“You don’t have to say anything. Let’s get back to the movie, yeah?
” Turning, he didn’t wait for a response.
He hadn’t exactly said he loved her in those specific words, but he’d admitted to the feelings all the same.
The scariest part was that he’d meant what he’d said, and he didn’t regret it one bit.