Fourteen #4
“What? Raysel isn’t dead.”
He finally turned to look at me. “You’re not here to tell me that she’s stopped her dancing?”
“If she has, I don’t know about it. I’m here because the knowe decided I should be.
” I gestured behind myself, indicating the door.
“I was walking from the kitchen to Etienne’s quarters, and that door was suddenly there.
I figure that means Shadowed Hills wanted me to check in with you.
Sir, you need to be here for your vassals right now.
Things are about to get really complicated. ”
“My wife and daughter have disappeared again,” he said. “How do you get simpler than that?”
“Luna hasn’t disappeared,” I said. “She grabbed Raysel and ran when the queen ruled against her, but she’s not missing. She’s with her mother right now, in Blind Michael’s skerry.” I decided not to mention that she was recovering from her injuries. That would just complicate things.
Sylvester’s eyes brightened. “And Raysel’s with them?”
“No,” I said, and winced inwardly to see him slump in his chair again, brief hope dying at a single word. “But I’m looking for her right now. And I find what I look for.”
“The last time you went looking for her, I lost you too,” he said. “Stay here. Stay safe. If you tell me where you were bound, I can send Etienne in your place.”
“Tempting,” I said, and it was, more tempting than I liked to admit. “But right now, Raysel is my responsibility, and I need to be the one who finds her. She’s expecting me.”
“And not the father who failed her?”
“She’s going to need you when she gets back.
Luna … I think Luna just torpedoed any chance of Raysel ever trusting her again.
Needing to figure out who she was without her mother’s expectations weighing her down was a large part of why she asked me to claim offense against her in the first place, and Raysel being afraid of her mother is most of why we’ve been fighting so hard to get her the full term of offense.
Raysel isn’t going to voluntarily come back to Shadowed Hills as long as Luna is here, not after this. ”
Sylvester looked at me, bewildered, and said slowly, “Raysel asked you to claim offense?”
Well, crap. “Yes, she did,” I said. “When I went into her dreams the second time, she asked me to give her the space she needed to start recovering. She wants to get better. And she misses you, she’s just not sure you know who she is, or that you miss her and not the little girl you lost. You still have a chance to win her trust. I don’t think Luna does. ”
“So you do think I’ve failed her.”
I was already being more honest with my liege than I had been in a long time, and so I nodded.
“I do. I don’t think you did it on purpose, or that you understood what was happening at the time, but I think Luna needed you so badly, and was so clear about what she thought was best for Raysel, that you didn’t step up and make sure that she was right.
You weren’t there when Raysel needed you, and she’s very hurt.
You still have a chance, though, as long as I can bring her home.
And as long as you don’t let the habits Titania shaped for you tempt you away from handling the responsibilities you have here, in the real world. ”
Sylvester’s eyes widened in momentary surprise that I was being that blunt with him. Then he looked to the goblet in his hand, sighed, and set it aside. “All right, October. Why do you say I need to be here for my vassals?”
“Because Etienne is arresting Melly as we speak. The kitchens are going to be in disarray, and the staff is going to be terrified that you’ll blame them for what she did.”
He blinked. “What she did? What did she do?”
“She told Blind Michael’s Riders what Luna was planning to do, knowing that they would intercede.” I wasn’t going to give him details, not yet. “Please, sir. Be gentle with her.”
“Why should I?” he asked, voice going cold. “She has orchestrated harm to my wife and child. Would you be gentle with someone who did the same to you?”
“I didn’t demand the right to execute Dame Altair and her brother myself,” I said.
“I can’t say for sure what I would do in your current position, but I like to think that I would be able to restrain myself long enough to pay attention to everything else that’s going on.
Melly messed up, but she had her reasons, and she deserves to be treated with understanding.
Just don’t make any decisions you can’t take back until I’ve had the chance to get Raysel home. Please.”
He looked at me, expression going slowly blank, then nodded. “I’ll stay my hand until you return with my child,” he said. “That’s the best that I can offer you.”
“And that’s more than enough,” I said. Darting across the space between us, I gave him a quick, one-armed hug before I retreated to the door I’d entered through. “I’ll be back soon.”
“Open roads, October,” he said, and watched as I left him, not moving from his place by the fire. Then I closed the door, and he was gone.