Chapter 27
To Risk the One
You Love
Ben
AT FIRST I FEARED the full moon would foil our plans, but in another defiant act of fate, thin clouds rolled in around midnight.
James and I hover right inside the gates, plotting and charting movements.
Bruno, Diederick, and Mr. Bennett have long since maneuvered to the outskirts of the colony in the hopes of reaching the mountain and getting a head start on Lillian’s behalf.
Craning my neck to the left, I can see Oliver dart from a decaying pushcart to a building that glistens like gold even in the moonlight.
I wouldn’t have seen him if I didn’t know exactly where to look.
James signals from beside me, and I nod.
He saw Oliver off as well. The kid had volunteered to seek out supplies and weapons if possible.
I had protests, but he argued back that he was light on his feet and small enough to stay hidden in shadows.
He had done the very same training as the rest of us, and without a radio to operate, he needed something to occupy his busy mind.
Besides, he did a wonderful job in plain daylight slipping Lillian’s guards a new canteen.
Despite James and Mr. Bennett believing poison to be a woman’s weapon, Bruno went forward with a plan that he’d been idly working on since we reunited.
He’d managed to make a concoction from the poison of an insect that he didn’t know the name of but had remembered Ademir pointing it out to him.
I believe it ended up being some kind of an arthropod.
I made a mental note to ask Lillian what the scientific name for it is, simply because I know she’ll know and will want to share.
James signals again; it’s clear that the men have fallen prey, in one way or another, to Bruno’s poison. I let James lead the way, all while keeping tight at his back. The more we can move in sync, the better.
These bastards are just as cocky as ever with their lax security. Our path has been cleared by no more than a little venom from a bug. Hopefully the others are having the same luck that we are.
Rescuing Lillian and scrambling to the mountain before anyone realizes is a tough task, but if we can just get this done, at least we’ll be together for whatever happens next. It’s only been two days since we parted, but that is too long. Even 20 minutes would have been far too long.
We reach the tent easily enough, only having to navigate two men near a fire. Her own captors lay crumpled on the ground where they’d slumped after ingesting the poison. Whether they’re out cold for a few minutes or will succumb to it, I pray we never find out.
Upon approach, James picks over their weapons and then sinks into the heavy shadows, dragging two bodies with him.
The plan is for him to hide them and then take watch.
When he’s fully disappeared, I deem it time to fulfill my part of the mission.
I push aside the canvas flaps and slip into Lillian’s space.
My body instantly relaxes, feeling her in my presence once again.
At first I only notice how sparse it all is.
Empty, with nothing to offer comfort or sustenance.
Then my eyes fall upon the tall mass in the center.
A towering wooden stake protruding from the ground and Lillian tied to it.
My heart lurches when her face rises. Terror turns to shock and then to a guarded happiness as I race to her.
A small noise fights through the gag they’ve placed around her mouth at the very moment my fingers brush her cheeks.
Despite the pain she must be feeling, relief shines in her eyes. I’m quick to pull the gag away, and then I cut the ties behind her. She’s wrapped up in my arms as the first words leave her lips. “I thought you might be dead.”
I shake my head in the crook of her neck and just hold her tighter. At first, the hug is everything I intended it to be: gentle, warm, safe, but then she seems to stiffen in my arms. When I pull away, I see bewilderment, not love.
“What are you doing here?” she asks in a whisper.
I try not to let my confusion give me away. I know she has to be traumatized and disoriented herself. “We came back for you,” I answer in equal quiet. “The others will be waiting at the entrance of the mountain for us.”
She’s already shaking her head. “Moving forward will do you no good without the contents of my bag.” Sitting back on my heels, I allow her the space to stretch.
She begins to rub her wrists where they’ve begun to tear and bruise.
I take that burden from her the best I can by running soothing traces over them.
“I think I’m finally starting to understand what the amazonite is for. ”
I don’t mean to ignore her, but I need to find a way out of this together. If she won’t leave without her artifacts, then I will find a way. “If we can’t get through to the dagger without them, then we’ll steal them tonight. I’m sure we could find a way.”
Her emotionless face remains steady, but I know her too well not to see the cracks forming. “If any of us get caught, we will have no more cards to play.” It is not the answer I want to hear.
“We can still leave all this behind,” I answer, suddenly rash. “Surely they won’t be able to get through without you and your necklace—”
Her hand reaches up and rests on my cheek.
“Ben, I’ve already made up my mind about seeing this through to the end.
” She pauses to run her fingers across the stubble on my chin before raising her eyes to mine.
Where there has been nothing but hurt for days, there is only a gentleness that could cure any ailment.
I find myself closing my eyes and relishing in her touch.
I don’t want to be healed right now. I want to run away from this with her beside me.
“I’m staying.” Her confession throws freezing cold water over me, and suddenly, I know nothing but pain. Finding her gaze again, time seems to stop.
“Why?” I ask desperately. For what could be an eternity, Lillian only holds me in the softness of her tear-kissed eyes. This time I can’t find the strength to look away. She is offering me every comfort she can manage. I should offer her the same in return.
Slowly, one hand wraps around the necklace at her chest, and the other holds onto me like it’s the only thing grounding her. “Because my mother asked me to. I’ve been asked to set things right.” She laughs lightly. “Circumstance and purpose have demanded it of me.”
I don’t understand her as much as I want to. Even if I act as though I support her choice, I know that my own opinion of seeing her to safety could never be swayed. “That’s not a good enough answer for me, sweetheart. I will not risk you.”
That statement coaxes a smile from her, but there’s no jovial feeling in her words.
“You don’t want to, but you have to.” It’s an appalling response.
By the way she pulls her legs up against her chest and lets her precious touch fall away from my skin, I think she knows that too. “This is not me giving up.”
I hardly know what to say next. “It sure sounds like you are.”
Ever patient and kind, Lillian takes my harsh words in stride.
“I’m not giving up,”she reiterates. “I’m putting all my trust into this.
” She raises the necklace between the two of us.
It’s the first time I’ve truly looked at it, truly studied the intricacies of the blue rock.
It’s strong and beautifully made, just like its wearer.
“I’m putting my trust in it and in you.” She drops the gem down again, and the trance between us is broken for another round.
I hear shuffling near the doorway and instantly palm the dagger I’d scrounged earlier.
Positioning myself between Lillian and the door, I’m relieved instantly by James poking his head in.
He speaks with urgency, “There seems to be a few men going off to explore under the veil of night. You might not have long.”
I nod in dismissal, and then he’s gone.
“I’m trusting you to come at the right moment,” Lillian says from behind me.
Whirling on her, I find that she has not moved an inch.
She’s accepted that she is staying right here.
I hate that I might have to accept that I will be walking out of here without her.
“There are two entrances to the fortress set in the mountain. The one through the front gate is the one Ivo plans on using. The other is from a side gate. Diederick will understand; he spent his life studying architecture such as this.”
“Lillian—”
“The dagger is not just in the fortress but somewhere deep within it. I expect no one will be able to reach it until after I face my next test.”
“Lillian,” I say again. This time I manage to capture her attention.
“Yes?” She moves from her seat for the first time, rising to her knees.
I fall to meet her and half expect a violently tense moment, but it has never been that way for us.
Pushing the hair free from her face, I take these precious seconds to memorize her eyes, to watch the way her eyelashes fall so softly together when she blinks, and to feel her breath once more. It tears me up.
Cupping her face in my hands a little too tightly, I begin to speak, but it falls out of me in a trapped snarl. There’s no way I can leave her here and hope for another opportunity.
She must see me struggling, because a hand reaches up and locks itself around one of my wrists. James whistles softly from outside, signaling the time to move.
Understanding that time has run out, I lean forward.
Her eyes glisten as she fights for my sake to tuck away the tears threatening to undo her resolve.
I can’t bear to see it, so I avert my eyes to her right shoulder as it rises and falls with each breath.
Brushing back the hair that has fallen to her shoulder, I let my hand find rest at the crook of her shoulder and neck.
“Ben?” she whispers.
The longing in her voice is my undoing.
As our breaths quicken, I pull her toward me, and she comes willingly. This will be our final goodbye, one we both need to remember when times inevitably get tough while we’re apart.
Her hands twist into my shirt as she pulls herself to her knees and tilts her face up toward me.
Our lips come together in an anguished crash that sends shock waves through my chest. “Whisper my name and I will hear you,” I say, coming up for air, hands still roaming through her curls.
I feel her tears mingle with mine as I suck back another impossible breath, swallowing my fate along with it.
Grasping her cheeks in my palm, I dare to look her in the eye.
“Scream for me and I will come for you.” I coax a nod of understanding out of her and then pull her head to my chest to allow her a moment of rest. Her arms wrap around me as she takes in a few final moments of solace.
She only pulls away after James whistles for me again.
I dry her tears the best I can manage and push back those mocha-colored coils that have come to feel like home.
I move to stand, but her grip only tightens.
We’re teetering closer and closer to the edge of a dangerous cliff.
It’s time to move, but I just can’t leave her here like this.
We come together, one more desperate kiss, and then I force myself away from her. “I will be seeing you real soon.”
“You better,” she says through more tears. Leaning away from me, she offers up her wrists, and the trance between us snaps.
I can feel hot, vicious tears forming as I rebind her hands, tied much looser than before. I can’t bring myself to pull the gag back up. Instead, I pull the sheathed dagger from my boot and search to put it in hers.
“They’ll know.” Her voice shakes slightly.
I know she’s right. They’d ask her questions, and when she wouldn’t have a good answer, they’d move to her guards, and that’s the last thing we want.
My hands shoot away from where I’d wanted to force her to protect herself.
If I can’t even find a way to armor her, what good am I?
A second later, I find my fingers lingering on the gag tight at her neck. “Ben.” Her voice has steadied, and it rips me from my trance. “You really should hurry.”
“We will find another way, Lillian.” She doesn’t respond to me. I can’t possibly silence her without hearing her speak one more time.
Swallowing any of the important things I might ask, I instead blurt the question that’s been on my mind all evening. “What’s the scientific name for a centipede you might find here in the Amazon?” I’m met with a look of bewilderment, but true to who she is, I also receive an answer.
“The Amazonian Giant Centipede? I suppose that would be the scolopendra gigantea,” she says with a small smile and without a single nagging interrogating question.
It’s enough to crack a smile of my own. “God, I love you.”
Lord save me, I kiss her again even as she is bound in place. I kiss her hard enough to make sure it’s the only thing she can feel when I place her gag again.
I hate myself for what I do next. I despise myself for leaving her, for her wanting to stay instead of fleeing with me. To finally confess everything and abandon her… It tears me apart.
But I go anyway. I leave her behind and acquiesce to her request.
“Where’s Lillian?” James asks, not a second after the tent flap closes behind me.
“She’s decided to stay behind.”
“What?” he asks in near disbelief. I’m already moving toward the outskirts, my direction set on the mountain.
“She felt as though the timing wasn’t right.” Gazing at the wall of rock looming high above, I shake her mission from my mind to focus on my own. “Let’s get to the others and see what they’ve learned.”
James doesn’t say another word after that. He only stops me to pass over a gun he’d stolen from Lillian’s guards. It’s enough for now; I only hope that Oliver was more successful in securing a whole manner of supplies.
Before anyone has even sensed our infiltration, James and I disappear into the jungle with the rest of the monsters and set our sights on the next step in the plan.
The mountain awaits.