Chapter 31 #2
“Appreciate I’m not the easiest of people, but I never want to hurt you,” he said, his voice now almost a whisper as he kissed the side of her head.
Scarlett wondered how much of that was true. She didn’t doubt he’d never want to physically hurt her, but what about her heart? Did he feel as protective over that? She wasn’t sure he did. And what about…
“I can’t wait until this wedding is over and done with and we can get back to normal,” he said, pulling her from her thoughts.
“What will normal look like?” Scarlett said, squeezing her eyes shut and wincing as the words came out– they just couldn’t stay inside her, they needed oxygen, whether that meant everything exploded or not.
“What do you mean?” She could feel him tense.
Any time she mentioned anything about the future, he tensed.
Was that because he knew deep down that she wouldn’t feature in it?
Was his future tied up with a certain brunette who still had their beach wedding planned out in a Filofax somewhere?
She seemed the kind to still have something like a Filofax…
that or a human form of one– a PA that nervously followed her around, manically taking notes about important state appointments and Brazilian blowouts.
“Exactly that. What are we doing?” She knew it was foolish of her to push further, but she needed to know.
As much as she hated her insecurities and however desperate she might seem, she needed some reassurance before her emotions ran away with themselves– more than they had already in the very brief time they’d known each other.
“Having a bath.” She felt his shoulders shrug, and she felt like accidentally digging her elbow into his balls, which were innocently buoyed behind her.
“Don’t be flippant, Edward.”
“We’ve talked about this.” The motion of his shoulders shrugging made her bristle.
“Yeah, but that was before…” She didn’t want to continue that sentence. Saying it out loud made it seem final.
“Before what?” His voice was strained, and Scarlett could tell frustration was lacing the outer edges of his patience.
“What is the whole thing with Briege? It all feels very loaded and weird.” There, she said it.
His body slumped behind her, and in that instant, she knew her gut was right about everything.
Scarlett couldn’t take it; she refused to put herself through all this again, especially not with him.
It had been bad enough with Jason, someone she was doubting was ever right for her.
But Edward was something else. He was different and had the ability to not just break her heart, but destroy her completely.
In such a short time, she could feel herself falling for him on a frightening level, and she couldn’t– no, she wouldn’t – allow this to happen to her again. He wouldn’t get the chance to.
Her breath caught in her throat and for an awful moment, she thought she was going to sob, but somehow she caught it and swallowed it down.
She felt shaky, but she didn’t care and wrangled herself free from Edward’s arms and legs, getting out of the bath.
Edward watched her, apparently still struggling to find words and looking like a deer caught in headlights.
Scarlett wrapped a bath towel around her, which was as big as a sheet. “You actually have nothing to say?”
“It’s not– fuck’s sake.” Edward stood up in the bath, splashing water everywhere, and she struggled not to look at him, but she had to stop being sidetracked by how attracted she was to him.
This was too important. She had to protect herself from him and whatever this was, as it wasn’t the safe place she thought and hoped it was.
“Pass me a towel, please,” he asked her.
Scarlett pulled one from the towel shelf, passed it to him, and left the bathroom to get dressed. The painkillers were working, the antibiotics would soon, and she was no longer cold. She had work to do, and she needed to think without him being all naked and beautiful around her.
As if on cue, he walked out of the bathroom dressed, his hair messy and damp. “It’s not what you think, okay?”
“And what is it I’m thinking?” Scarlett asked, pulling a jumper over her head.
“That there’s something going on you don’t know about. Well, there probably is but—”
“You don’t owe me anything, Edward. I mean, we’ve barely known each other two weeks. It’s ridiculous and we’re not exactly teenagers. So, we fucked a few times, but really, this was never going to go anywhere, was it? Not really.”
“If that’s the case, why are you so upset?” He made a move towards her, but she stopped him in his tracks by raising a hand.
“I’m not upset!” she snapped.
“You very clearly are.” He pushed his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “I’ve not actually done anything wrong here.”
Scarlett looked up at him before focusing back on her feet and putting her socks on, which, as usual, were odd. “You didn’t warn me about her, not really, and now I feel ridiculous.”
“Why? I don’t understand.” Edward was losing patience, she could tell.
“You were getting married!” Her voice cracked as the words burst from her lips.
“Fuck’s sake– it was years ago! Scarlett—”
“I thought you were different.” She no longer cared what she looked or sounded like. It was all becoming too much.
“Different to what? Who?” He was struggling to suppress the annoyance in his voice, but she couldn’t stop herself.
“Everyone, okay! I thought you were someone I could trust, that you weren’t going to hurt me or just fuck off and…” Her voice quivered, and she couldn’t allow the tears that were dangerously close to falling to spill from her eyes.
“I have done nothing wrong or gone anywhere, Scarlett. I’m standing right here, aren’t I?” His eyes were wide and the storm within them stirred all manner of feelings inside her, but she pushed them away.
This is just too much.
She couldn’t hear him anymore. All she could think of was Briege. Perfect Briege. Perfect Angelica. They were both perfect and there was always going to be someone else more perfect than her to take away what she foolishly thought was hers.
Fuck, what am I even doing here?
“Scarlett…” Edward made to move towards her again.
“What?!” she snapped at him, making him think better of it.
“There is nothing going on between me and Briege. She’s my ex and Leonard is a knob for bringing her in when he knows perfectly well she’s a toxic parasite that I sent packing out of my life a long time ago.
I have absolutely zero interest in the woman.
She could be on fire, and I literally wouldn’t—”
“I don’t want this,” she interrupted him.
“Any of it. I don’t want you or for me to feel this way.
I want to finish the job, get paid, and leave this godforsaken place out here in the middle of nowhere and start my life again.
I just want to be left alone, okay?” She couldn’t look at him, but the way he sucked in his breath, she could tell that her words had landed where she’d wanted them to and she immediately regretted them, wanting nothing more than to take them back.
Take it all back. Be back in the bath, their limbs tangled, as he gently washed her, kissing the side of her head and…
“Right, I’ll get out of your way then,” he said with a finality that crushed her.
And just like that, he was gone.