Chapter 32
E dward was not the type of man to cry. He couldn’t remember the last time he did, but the unmistakable hot burning feeling behind his eyes was there, reminding him that this was exactly why he’d done his best to avoid this type of nonsense for all these years.
The drama. The pain. It was all pointless and a waste of time and energy.
He and the estate were better off alone. He knew this, he’d always known this, but Scarlett had somehow penetrated through his logic and resolve, and for a moment, a very brief moment, he’d believed that he might share it with someone after all. With her.
But she was right. They barely knew each other and, more importantly, she obviously had other plans.
It would have always happened, Briege or not; Scarlett would have eventually left, maybe even gone back to her husband and their easier, more comfortable life in Bath– and maybe that’s where she should go back to.
Not that he particularly liked the idea– in fact, he hated it.
But at least she would be cared for, secure, and hopefully happy.
He didn’t have the inner resources to make her happy, no matter how hard he tried. Past experiences had taught him that so he’d stopped trying a long time ago. Although, how easy it’d been with Scarlett, it was effortless– almost.
Her usually easy manner and smile made it a natural reaction to want to please her and be with her, to want to make her feel good.
The way she’d so easily made him feel good, too.
She’d made him feel like a whole person, even though he didn’t believe in people completing each other– he thought a person should do that by themselves, and he still thought that, but equally, there wasn’t any doubt in his mind that she did make him want to be a better version of himself, and as he began shutting down his emotions, a hidden part inside him silently wept at the sadness of it all.
Edward, however, preferred to harness the one reliable emotion that had always served him well and he held on to it tightly. Anger. And it was predominantly aimed at one person: his brother.
He wouldn’t be violent, it wasn’t his style, but Leonard was going to hear exactly what he thought about him and his careless, dickish actions.
Enough was enough. If he didn’t sort his behaviour out, Edward had no qualms calling the whole thing off and they could all fuck off back to the States much sooner than expected, unmarried and unhappy. He just didn’t care anymore.
As he turned towards the house, the sky darkened, and he noticed two figures standing by the side entrance to the kitchen.
If he didn’t know better, he could’ve sworn he caught a brief glimpse of Lily’s salmon pink raincoat, but she wasn’t due back until the weekend and was currently interviewing for medical school in Edinburgh with her mother.
He shook his head and headed for the boot room.
He had enough to be getting on with to distract himself from the entire Scarlett situation, but not before he found Leonard. And then he would move on.
Once inside, he spotted Mrs Wilson sorting the flower arrangement in the grand hall. She looked up when she heard him approach.
“My brother, have you seen him?” He couldn’t subdue the gruffness in his voice.
Mrs Wilson peered over her small glasses to observe him. “The last time I saw him, he was in the lounge with—”
“Thanks,” Edward cut her off and walked away. He didn’t care who he was in there with, but much to his disappointment, Leonard was nowhere to be seen. However, as he stepped further into the otherwise empty room, a tearful Briege turned to face him.
“Oh, Eddie, I’ve just had the most awful news.” She rushed over to him. “Dad has just passed away.”
Edward stood still. He hated her, but not enough to not have any sympathy. He knew how close she was to her father. “I’m sorry,” he told her, lifting his arms in a loose embrace and patting her back. “What happened?”
“He was at his place in Geneva.” She circled her arms tightly around his neck, which he tried to gently prise away, but she started crying. “Heart attack and he was just gone.”
Edward patted her arms, hoping someone would come in and take over. He didn’t want to be unkind but equally wanted to be as far away from her as humanly possible.
“Oh,” Briege suddenly said, slowly pulling away, staying close to him and taking hold of his upper arm. He looked down at her and, behind the tears, he recognised the familiar look of smugness in her eyes as she focused on whoever was behind him.
His stomach twisted in knots as he knew without turning that Scarlett was there. He could sense her.
Edward turned slowly and, sure enough, there she stood, hurt and anger etched across her face. He closed his eyes.
She’d probably rushed after him to make things right between them.
He wished with all his might this moment could be erased.
That he’d stayed in her bedroom, forced her to see sense, taken her in his arms, and lain with her on her bed until she fell asleep, just like in Edinburgh that night.
But he couldn’t erase it, and to make matters worse, Leonard now stood behind her, placing a comforting arm around her shoulder to protect her from whatever it looked like was going on.
“Not even if she was on fire, huh?” Scarlett said as she turned to leave, but not before he saw the tears spill down her cheeks.
“Scarlett …”
“Leave her be,” Leonard said, turning to follow her.
Briege still clung to his arm and wrapped herself around him again. “It was so awful, baby,” she continued. “The maid found him. I don’t even know where to start with it all. It’s not like I’ve got siblings to help. Oh, Eddie, what am I going to do?”
Enough .
He firmly took hold of her wrists and peeled her from him, pushing her away to arm’s length.
“Briege, I’m very sorry for your loss. Genuinely, I am, but I am no longer the person who can help you deal with this.
There is no more us and there never will be.
I’m very sorry, but there isn’t. You’re the most toxic person I have ever known and I don’t want you anywhere near me, my family, or my house ever again, okay? ”
Briege’s mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. For once, she was too shocked to speak.
“Look, wait here for my brother or call one of your many friends. And then get off my property, okay?” He looked at her one last time before letting her go and leaving the room, thinking for a moment to rush after Scarlett, but something stopped him.
What on earth could he say to her at this point? It was now truly and properly fucked. Briege had made sure of that and there was nothing he could say to make Scarlett trust him again.
Maybe this was all for the best. She’d soon realise that he wasn’t good enough for her, that this wasn’t the place for her, and perhaps that husband of hers would come to his senses and beg her to return home, where he could spend the rest of his life making up for the mess he’d made.
But then there was now a baby coming into the mix, and really it had nothing to do with Edward, and maybe she was better off without either of them.
She wanted to start her life over, buy that bed-and-breakfast or Airbnb she’d talked about, and be independent and free, far away from him and Haddon House.
And be happy. That, he decided, was all he wanted for her, even if that meant she wasn’t with him.
The idea made his heart sink into his stomach, but he believed to his core it was the right thing to do.
Forgetting all about Leonard and his anger towards him, Edward retreated to his office, firmly locking the door behind him.
He didn’t want to eat or sleep, so he would work– that’s where he was most useful.
He understood his purpose there, somewhere he couldn’t hurt anyone and vice versa, and where he could remain undisturbed and alone in peace.