Chapter 36
Hadley
The word “divorce” hung in the air like smoke after a fire, thick, choking, impossible to ignore.
Cal froze. His hand, still resting gently on Asher’s back, trembled once, then stilled. His eyes lifted to mine, wide and glassy, like I’d just driven a knife through his chest.
“Hadley…” His voice was barely a whisper. “Please. Don’t say that.”
I looked down at Asher instead of him. The baby had fallen asleep against my shoulder, tiny mouth slack, little breaths warm against my neck. I focused on that, on the steady rise and fall of his chest, so I wouldn’t have to see the devastation on Cal’s face.
“I’ve thought about it,” I said quietly. “A lot. Since the shower. Since the kitchen. Since I walked into that green room and saw you with her. I can’t keep doing this cycle. I can’t keep hoping you’ll change when every time I let my guard down, you prove me wrong.”
Cal slid to his knees beside the bed, hands gripping the rail so hard his knuckles bleached white.
“I know I fucked up. I know I don’t deserve another chance.
But I’m begging you, please. Give me one.
Just one. I’ll do anything. Rehab. Therapy every day.
I’ll quit the band if that’s what it takes.
I’ll leave LA. Whatever you need. Just… don’t take him away from me. Don’t take you away.”
Tears slipped down his cheeks. He didn’t wipe them. Just let them fall.
“I watched you hold him,” he continued, voice cracking.
“I felt his hand around my finger and I swear something inside me woke up. Like all the numbness I’ve carried since Mexico just…
cracked. I don’t want to go back to that.
I don’t want to be the guy who hurts you anymore.
I love you, Hadley. I love you so much it fucking hurts.
And I love him. Please. I’m on my knees here. ”
I swallowed hard. My throat burned. “You were high when he was born, Cal. You were with her when my water broke. You called me a whore. You chose her over and over. How many times do I have to watch you destroy us before I protect myself?”
He bowed his head, shoulders shaking. “I know. God, I know. But I’m done. Syd’s gone. I told her to fuck off for good. The boys backed me. I’m getting help, real help. I called a place this morning. Thirty days inpatient. I leave next week. I’ll do the work. I’ll prove it.”
I closed my eyes. “I believe you want to. I do. But wanting isn’t enough anymore. I’ve spent months auditioning to be enough for you. I’m done auditioning.”
A sob tore out of him, raw, ugly. He pressed his forehead to the mattress, body shaking. “Don’t do this. Please. I can’t lose you both. I can’t.”
The door opened. Two nurses hurried in, alerted by the monitor beeping faster from my elevated heart rate, probably.
“Sir, we need you to step out,” one said gently but firmly. “She needs calm right now.”
Cal looked up at me, desperate, pleading. “Hadley...”
“Go,” I whispered.
He stood slowly, like every movement cost him. He leaned over, pressed a trembling kiss to Asher’s head, then to my forehead. I didn’t pull away. I couldn’t.
“I love you,” he said brokenly. “Both of you.”
Then the nurses guided him out. The door closed.
I exhaled shakily, tears slipping free. Asher stirred but didn’t wake.
Zariah came back in first, eyes red. She didn’t ask questions, just sat on the edge of the bed and took my free hand.
Kei, Holland, and Jake followed a minute later. They looked wrecked, shoulders slumped, faces drawn.
Kei spoke first, voice low. “He’s in the hallway. Breaking. We’ve never seen him like this.”
I nodded. Couldn’t speak yet.
Holland stepped closer. “We’re not here to beg for him. We just… we want you to know we see what he did. To you. To Eli. To the baby. We’re not blind. And we’re not choosing sides against you.”
Jake added quietly, “But he’s finally admitting he needs real help. Inpatient. He’s scared shitless, but he’s going. We’re making sure of it.”
I looked at them, really looked. These men who’d been loyal to Cal through hell. Who’d protected Sydney for years because of shared trauma. And here they were, standing in my room, not defending her. Not excusing him.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “For saying that.”
Kei rubbed the back of his neck. “If you need anything, anything at all, call us. Not him. Us. We’ve got you.”
I nodded again. Tears kept coming.
They left quietly after that. Zariah stayed.
The next morning, Eleanor arrived straight from the airport, hair still perfect, eyes tired from the red-eye, but lighting up the second she saw Asher in my arms.
“Oh, my sweet boy,” she breathed, tears instant. She kissed his head, then mine. “You’re incredible, Hadley. Thank you for him.”
I smiled weakly. “He’s perfect.”
We sat together for a while...her holding him while I rested. Eventually, she handed him back and took my hand.
“Cal told me,” she said softly. “About… the conversation.”
I nodded.
She didn’t push. Just squeezed my fingers.
“I won’t beg you to stay with him. You’ve been through enough.
But… please. Let him see his son grow. Even if it’s from a distance at first. Even if it’s supervised visits.
He’s broken right now, but that little boy is the only thing that might keep him fighting to get better. ”
I looked down at Asher...peaceful, innocent. “I won’t keep him from Asher. I promise. But I can’t promise more than that.”
She kissed my cheek. “That’s enough for now.”
That evening, Cal came back.
He looked worse than the day before, eyes sunken, skin gray, clothes rumpled like he’d slept in them. But he was sober. Shaky, but sober.
He stopped just inside the door. “Can I come in?”
I nodded.
He approached slowly. “How’s he doing?”
“Eating. Sleeping. Being perfect.”
Cal exhaled like he’d been holding his breath. “Can I hold him?”
I lifted Asher carefully. Cal took him, same reverent way as before, and sank into the chair.
“Hey, little man,” he whispered. “Missed you.”
Asher blinked up at him, then yawned hugely.
Cal’s eyes filled. “I’m so sorry, Hadley. For everything.”
I didn’t answer right away. Just watched him with our son.
“Where are you planning to go?” he asked finally, voice small. “After you leave here.”
“I’m not leaving LA,” I said. “Not yet. Eli’s school is here. But I’ll probably look for an apartment. Something small. Rent for now.”
Cal’s face crumpled. “Stay in the house. Please. I’ll leave. I’ll get a place nearby. I just… I need to know where you are. Where he is. I need to know you’re safe.”
I shook my head. “No. That house holds too many memories. The nursery we painted together. The kitchen where Kei kissed me. The living room where you walked out. The bedroom where I cried myself to sleep waiting for you. I can’t live there. I can’t breathe there.”
He nodded slowly, tears slipping free. “Okay. Then let me rent you something. Anywhere you want. Gated community. Security. Whatever makes you feel safe. I’ll pay. No strings. Just… let me do this one thing right.”
I studied him. The desperation. The sincerity.
“Fine,” I said finally. “But it’s temporary. And it’s in my name.”
“Done.”
Silence settled again.
Then he spoke, quieter. “I’m checking into rehab tomorrow. Thirty days. After that… outpatient. Meetings. Sponsor. The whole thing. I’m not asking you to wait. I just need you to know I’m doing it. For real this time.”
I nodded once. “I’m glad.”
Asher fussed. Cal rocked him gently. “I love you both,” he said. “Even if you never love me back the same way again.”
Before I could answer, there was a soft knock.
Eli poked his head in, hair messy, backpack slung over one shoulder. Zariah must’ve brought him after school.
“Hey,” he said shyly.
Cal looked up, surprised. “Hey, kid.”
Eli came in slowly. Stopped at the foot of the bed. Stared at Asher.
“Is that him?”
“Yeah,” I said, smiling. “Meet your nephew. Asher.”
Eli leaned closer. “He’s tiny.”
“Wanna hold him?” Cal asked gently.
Eli glanced at me. I nodded.
Cal transferred Asher carefully into Eli’s arms. Eli held him like he was made of glass, stiff at first, then relaxing as Asher settled.
“He’s warm,” Eli said, awed.
Cal watched them, eyes shining. “You’re gonna be the cool uncle.”
Eli’s cheeks pinked. “I… uh… I have a girlfriend.”
I blinked. Cal froze.
“What?” I asked.
“Her name’s Maya. She’s in my robotics club. She’s really smart. She likes my circuits.”
Cal laughed softly.... first real laugh I’d heard in days. “Look at you. Moving fast.”
Eli shrugged, still staring at Asher. “She wants to meet the baby. I told her maybe later.”
I reached over, squeezed Eli’s arm. “We’d love that.”
Eli handed Asher back to Cal carefully. Then looked between us...serious now.
“Are you guys… getting divorced?”
The room went still.
I exhaled. “We’re figuring things out.”
Eli nodded slowly. “Okay. Just… don’t make me choose sides. I like both of you.”
Cal’s voice cracked. “Never, bud. Never.”
Eli hugged me, awkward but tight. Then hugged Cal, quick, but real.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he told Cal quietly.
Cal hugged him back. “Me too.”
Eli left after that, Zariah waiting in the hall to take him home.
Cal stayed a while longer. Just holding Asher. Watching him sleep.
When visiting hours ended, he handed Asher back reluctantly.
“I’ll text you about the apartment tomorrow,” he said. “And… thank you. For letting me be here.”
I nodded.
He paused at the door. Looked back at us, his family, fractured but still breathing.
“I’m gonna fight for this,” he said softly. “For both of you. Even if it takes forever.”
Then he was gone.
I held Asher close, heart aching in every direction.
Divorce papers waited somewhere in the future.
But right now, right this second, we were still here.
All three of us.
And maybe, just maybe, that was enough to start from.