19. Jessica
Jessica
The door swung open before Jessica could even knock. Renee stood smiling in the entryway, her green eyes shining. She wore a threadbare Golden Girls T-shirt and sweatpants, and her curly red bob was pulled back from her face.
She stepped aside so that Jessica could enter. “Thanks for coming over. I know I wasn’t sure about this whole idea, but I’m really glad you’re here.”
Jessica’s heart tripped over itself trying to keep beating. “Glad I can help.”
She looked around the massive living room and noted that the place didn’t have the same sweet baked goods scent as the last time she came over.
Then she thought about the first time she came over, and how she’d been so nervous to meet Renee and so worried about Chase.
She was still worried about Chase, but there was an ease in seeing Renee this time.
An ease she had very mixed feelings about.
“Can I get you something first? Something to eat? I have sandwich stuff.”
“No, thanks,” Jessica said. “I ate just before I came over.”
“Something to drink? Water? Coke? Coffee?”
“I’m good for now. Maybe we can take a coffee break later?”
Renee smiled. “Sounds perfect.”
They remained in the living room, where Renee gestured at a wall of dark built-in bookshelves filled with figurines. Mostly pandas. It was clear that this was a collection.
“I don’t need to pack these up or anything,” Renee said. “I just need to go through them to see if I want any. The rest can stay out for the estate sale.”
“Okay. Anything you want me to do?”
“Find a small box for whatever I want to keep.” Renee gestured at the far wall, which was lined with stacks of cardboard boxes and plastic bins of all sizes. “And mostly just be here for moral support? Oh, and to keep me on task. I get distracted. And overwhelmed. Basically, I need a handler.”
Jessica laughed. “How about I just get the box for now?”
On one side of the box wall, Jessica found a good-sized box for the figurines and brought it over to Renee, who was now standing on a step stool and going through the top shelf.
“Have you seen about that storm coming?” Renee asked.
Jessica held the box out while Renee carefully placed a small panda figurine inside. It was a panda on its back, holding its toes. She could imagine Renee eyeing that one as a kid and it bringing back delightful memories.
“Yeah, I saw that yesterday,” Jessica said. “They don’t think it’s going to be too bad, right?”
“Don’t think so. Don’t trust these things anymore, though.”
“Me either.” Jessica held out the box for another figurine, this one a panda in a bright yellow rain jacket and hat. “Are you staying here for it?”
“I think so. This place has survived a lot worse, and the trees are far enough from the house to not be a problem.” Renee paused her panda hunt and looked down from the step stool at Jessica.
“You can come hang out here if you want. It’ll be just me and my friend Ben. We mostly eat snacks and play cards.”
Her pulse kicked up at the invitation. She hadn’t given much thought to what she’d do during the storm besides stocking up on supplies.
She used to ride out storms with Claire in the apartment.
The prospect of staying alone wasn’t at all appealing.
She supposed she could always stay with Naomi and Tim.
“Can I let you know later?”
“Sure can. Open invitation. It’ll be really low-key, so you can decide up to the last minute if you want.”
“Thanks,” Jessica said.
Once they’d gone through all the pandas and other decorative items on the shelves, they stood in front of another bookshelf filled with albums and photo boxes.
“Will you help me pack these? I can keep them in the empty back bedroom and lock that room off during the estate sale. Not ready to go through them yet.”
“Sure. That sounds like a good strategy.”
Jessica was overwhelmed just looking at them all. How does one go through someone else’s memories? Do descendants keep them from generation to generation, the boxes and albums adding up until they can fill a house by themselves?
These weren’t questions for right now. They weren’t even questions for her to ask at all.
“Aunt Ellen was the oldest, so she ended up with most of the family albums,” Renee said, thumbing through a particularly old set of photos. “I’ll see if my other aunts or my mom want any of these. They can pick through whatever they want.”
They went to work, packing albums and boxes into plastic tubs, then carrying them to the back spare bedroom that was already filled with other things Renee didn’t want to let go of just yet.
Bartholomew helped by hopping in and out of the empty tubs before they’d fill each.
Jessica liked to think he was testing out the sizes for them.
When they had moved all the tubs into the spare room, Renee asked, “Can I show you something?”
“Sure.”
Jessica followed her past the kitchen into a dining room with a large table in the center. On top of the table were tons of photographs spread out with a pair of scissors and several tabletop frames of different sizes.
When she got closer, Jessica could see that all of them were photos of the same woman. She was a child in some, a teenager in others. The collection followed her through a lifetime of moments collected in one place.
“This is her?”
Renee nodded.
The woman in the photos had a bob of curly red hair, with fair skin and a toned frame, even through the photos of her in her later years. It was as if someone had cloned her to make Renee.
“She was beautiful.”
That didn’t seem to do it justice. She looked as if she were filled with light and radiated a strength that shone through the images of her.
Renee nodded again, then fell into a sad little laugh. “People always said we looked alike, more than me and my mother even, but I could never see it apart from the hair.”
“I see it,” Jessica touched a finger to the face in one photograph. “You have her smile.”
Jessica wished she could see that smile even more, but given the circumstances, it was no small feat that she was smiling at all these past few weeks.
“I’m in charge of putting together pictures for a display,” Renee said. “Impossible to pick just a few.”
“I can imagine.” Jessica tapped the photo she had been pointing at. “I vote for this one. Not that you have to listen to me. Just… it’s nice.”
“Agreed.” Renee slid the photograph to the side, next to the empty frames. “One down.”
“One at a time will get it done.”
She hoped she was helping. Encouraging. She never felt like she was making a difference with Claire on anything. Like she was permanently inept at comforting another human. But this felt different.
Not that she should be comparing her relationship with Renee to the one with Claire.
No. Not relationship. She and Renee didn’t have a relationship. They had interactions.
Interactions that had led her to help with a rather intimate moment in Renee’s life.
What was she doing here?
“I’m really glad you’ll be there,” Renee said. “I mean, I know we’re paying your band to be there, but I would have invited you, anyway.”
Jessica’s heart warmed at the would-have-been invitation. She would have gone, too. If she weren’t playing. She was glad she could be there for Renee, either way.
How had they gotten here? From hiring Renee three weeks ago to helping her sift through photos of her aunt and being there for her during rough moments… how had this happened?
“I mean it,” Renee said. “And it’s more than you helping me out here. I’m glad to have you around.”
Jessica slipped her hand over Renee’s on the table, staring into those green eyes and that slightly upturned nose. Her perfectly shaped lips.
“I’m glad to be around, too,” Jessica said. “And to have you around.”
She slid her hand up the side of Renee’s toned arm and closed the space between them, shutting off the part of her brain that wanted to know what the heck she thought she was doing. Because she wasn’t thinking. Didn’t want to think. All she needed right then was to kiss Renee again.
But her effort was stopped short as Renee took a step backward, taking her arm with her from Jessica’s grasp.
“I’m going back to Baton Rouge soon.”
Jessica blinked. She knew that was in the plan. Knew it all along and had no reason to believe that the plan had changed.
Still, part of her—a strong but silent part—hoped that would change.
“Soon?”
“We’re having an estate sale the weekend after the celebration,” Renee said. “I’ll be leaving after that. The succession should be finished soon, and Mom will take over listing the house, so I don’t need to be around for that.”
“Right.” Jessica wasn’t sure what else to say. There was such finality in the announcement. “I should go.”
“You don’t have to.”
“But I should.”
Renee gave a tight little nod. “Right. Well, thanks for today. You really were a big help.”
“Glad to,” Jessica said. “I should go. I can see myself out.”
“No, I’ll walk with you.”
Jessica found her way to the front door once again in the house she was becoming all too familiar with, realizing then that they’d completely skipped the coffee break they’d planned.
When she opened the door and stepped outside, she turned to face Renee.
“I’ll see you next Saturday.”
With another nod, Renee said, “Next Saturday.”
There was an unspoken truth between them. Next Saturday would be the last time they saw each other.