20. Renee
Renee
Her head rested heavy in her hands as Renee leaned over the bar on her elbows. She didn’t want to move it. Maybe ever. If her palms could promise to wipe away the doubt, she’d leave them there forever.
“Go ahead. Tell me I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot,” Ben said, placing a hand on her head. “You make questionable choices where pretty women are concerned, but you’re not an idiot.”
Renee laughed. “Questionable choices is a nice way of saying I turned down a very pretty woman who wanted to kiss me.”
She lifted her head and looked around her.
Long gone were the cookies, breads, and cakes.
She’d found good homes for most of it, and she and Ben had devoured the rest. All that was on the bar now was a large pizza box, a bottle of red wine, and two full glasses.
But she didn’t have much of an appetite at the moment.
“Kissing her would have been a selfish move,” Ben said, sincerity filling his dark brown eyes.
“An understandable move I would never judge, but it would have been made with just your own motives in mind. You chose door number two, where you considered everyone’s feelings and the potential fallout from acting on that. ”
“So I’m a considerate idiot.”
“Stop calling my best friend an idiot.” Bartholomew hopped onto the bar to sniff at the glasses and the box. “See? Barthy agrees with me.”
She shot him a look.
“Fine,” he said with a smirk. “Bartholomew agrees with me.”
“Bartholomew likes food.” She picked him up and petted his soft, fluffy body as she cradled him. “What did you get, anyway?”
Ben lifted the box lid slightly, letting the aroma waft out into the kitchen. “Bacon and onions.”
“You do love me.”
She put Bartholomew on the ground and grabbed two plates from the cabinet.
“Always,” Ben said. “And I’m proud of you. Turning that down had to be hell.”
“You think?” She shook her head as she slid a slice onto her plate. “But with all of my aunt’s photos out on that table, I wasn’t in a good headspace, anyway. It wouldn’t have been right on multiple levels.”
“Makes sense.”
“But God, I wanted to.” She bit down on the pizza, filling her mouth with rich cheese and tangy sauce.
The salty bacon and the slight sweetness of the onion slices merged into a welcome delight.
When she finished chewing, she said, “You’re right.
Kissing her would have been a purely selfish move.
Because she wants more than that. If she really wants anything at all. ”
Ben tilted his head. “What do you mean? I know you said she isn’t into a short-term just-for-funsies thing, but why not at all?”
“I’m not sure she’s over her ex. She’s not sure she’s over her ex. I mean, it’s over, as far as I can tell, but I think the damage is still too fresh.”
“Ah. Right. Messy.” He picked up his wine glass and tilted it at her slightly. “And not my kind of messy.”
“So see? She’s off-limits.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Unless…”
“Unless what?”
Ben took a sip of wine, pondering his next words before he spoke them. “Unless you can convince yourself to play the long game.”
“I don’t do long.”
“But you could,” he said. “I know you see some shit with work and all, and you have very valid reasons for not wanting to land in something like that. And my love life is no great example either. But not every relationship ends terribly.”
“I know that.”
Did she?
Aside from all the awful things she saw in her work, she’d never had a good example of a stable, long-term relationship.
Her parents weren’t exactly what she’d call happily married, even if they’d been together all her life.
Aunt Ellen had been happily single for as long as Renee knew.
Most of her cousins were divorced or separated.
And Ben was happily relationship-hopping through life.
All valid choices. Just not good examples of what else could be.
“Then why not give it a chance?” Ben asked.
“Easy answer,” she said. “I’m going back to Baton Rouge in two weeks.”
He waved a hand at her. “I can fix that.”
“I’m not moving back here just because you like having me around. No matter how much I like being around you more, too.”
“What if I show you why you want to move back?”
She scoffed. “Good luck.”
Ben took another sip of wine, eyeing her from across the bar. “Challenge accepted.”
With a roll of her eyes, Renee took another bite of pizza. She really loved this pizza. The crust was perfect, and the toppings were spaced out to perfection. Mark one point for Ben’s plan.
But that was all he was going to get. There was no amount of Oakview pizza that could win her over. She was going back to Baton Rouge and her work and her life in two weeks.
After they finished most of the pizza and all the wine, Ben said, “So show me what you’ve got so far.”
They placed the pizza box in the fridge, out of Bartholomew’s reach, and walked into the dining room, where Renee had made very little progress since that afternoon.
“Love this one,” he said, picking up a picture in a silver frame.
It was her aunt in a full laugh, paying attention to something off camera.
“Jessica picked that one.”
He placed the frame back on the table. “She’s got good taste.”
“I took that photo. I wish I remembered what she was laughing at, but it makes me smile every time I look at it.”
“It’s perfect.”
They looked at the rest of the photos on the table. She had separated them into nope, maybe, and probably piles, with the probably pile only comprising a couple of photos.
Ben slid one photo from the probably pile over to where the frames were lying. “This one’s a hell yes.”
It was a selfie of her aunt and a young Renee with the beach behind them. They’d spent a long weekend, just the two of them, in Gulf Shores, and it was one of Renee’s favorite memories.
“Yeah. I think so, too.”
They did a walk-through of the rest of the house, assessing where she’d need help next, and what she was pretty sure she could do on her own around work.
She was running out of work she could do from Oakview, so she should have time during the week to tackle some things, but she would need to make a run out to Baton Rouge the next day to meet with a new client.
“Oh, hey, are we staying here for the storm like normal?”
By normal he meant how they used to stay with her aunt, back before Renee moved to start her own business. She and Ben had shared an apartment in Oakview, but they couldn’t stand the thought of her Aunt Ellen riding out a storm alone.
“Yeah, come meet me whenever,” she said. “Bring snacks. I’ll get water and whatever else needs stocking up here. Don’t worry about sweets.”
Ben laughed. “I never do.”
Then she remembered what else had been discussed that afternoon.
“I might have invited Jessica.”
“Really? So I get to meet her?”
“Probably not,” Renee said. “That was before the not-a-kiss.”
“You never know.”
“I didn’t want her to be alone, but she might have someone else she can stay with.”
“There’s a bigger question here.”
“What?”
He lowered his voice. “Do you want her here?”
Yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
A million yeses.
“Things are… awkward now.”
“I didn’t ask if things were awkward.”
“I don’t know.”
“Liar.”
“Fine. I want her here during the storm,” she said. “But I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Sometimes that’s how the best ideas start.”
Renee doubted the truth of that.
“I’ll check in with her in a couple days. Let her know she’s still welcome.”
“Tomorrow. Give her time to make plans.”
“Fine. I’ll text her tomorrow. Happy?”
A wide grin stretched across his face. “Ecstatic.”