28. Renee
Renee
With the last of the tables sprinkled with confetti, Renee took a moment to take in the hall.
It was decorated perfectly. The flowers—multi-colored bouquets of peonies and roses in springlike shades—were gorgeous, providing splashes of color everywhere.
The tables were cheerful, thanks to the colorful music-note confetti.
The dance floor was empty and waiting for the night to begin.
Her aunt would have loved it.
“Have you seen the caterer?” her mother asked from behind her. “Nothing is prepped on the serving tables yet, and the guests should be arriving soon.”
Renee turned to shrug. She couldn’t speak, only shake her head.
Her mother, wearing a stunning green pantsuit that complemented her deep red hair, looked concerned. “Are you all right? You look a little pale.”
“It’s just… everything.”
Her mother’s expression softened. “Breathe. It will all be fine.”
“If you say so.”
“I do say so,” her mother said. “Remember? We can do anything we set our minds to.”
Renee let out an enormous sigh. “Sure.”
“Listen,” her mother said. “I know I haven’t earned any parenting awards when you were growing up. I know that now. But you and I can get through this. Together.”
Renee couldn’t hide her shock. It was as close to an apology as she could expect. Her mother continued to surprise her since she’d been back in town.
“I really do need to find the caterer,” her mother said. “I’ll check in with you again in a minute.”
She hurried off toward the side of the hall with the kitchen to hunt down the missing woman.
Renee made her way over to the welcome display, where photos of her aunt were lined up around a sign-in book. It was a sad moment seeing them all. Knowing why they were there. But a table full of her aunt’s smiling face was actually quite nice to see.
Then, she spotted her favorite. The one Jessica had picked out. She smiled, her heart warming and her nerves melting slightly.
As if summoned by the thought, Jessica appeared on stage with some kind of folded stand and a stool. She placed them both down, then looked up to catch Renee’s gaze. She waved and smiled from across the room, setting Renee’s heart fluttering as warmth flowed through her.
She could do this.
With Jessica watching from over there, she could do anything.
Renee met her at the edge of the stage, where Jessica hopped down to hug her. Renee tried not to care about wrinkling Jessica’s silky blue blouse. When they broke apart, Renee brushed a strand of long brown hair from Jessica’s face.
“Is it weird to say I’ve missed you already?” Renee asked.
Jessica laughed and looked into her eyes. “I missed you, too.”
Renee couldn’t help but think she wasn’t exactly happy about being there. Or about seeing Renee. She certainly wasn’t happy in general. Renee watched as Jessica’s eyes darted around the room, avoiding eye contact.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Jessica said, her attention snapping back to Renee as a strained smile appeared.
“It’s not nothing. I can see it on your face. Something’s up.”
“It’s not a big deal. We can talk about it another time.
” Her expression brightened. “You just focus on enjoying the night.” Jessica gave her a quick kiss that should have had more of an impact on Renee than it did.
But she couldn’t help wondering what it was they were going to have to talk about later.
“I’d better go set up,” Jessica said, then she gave her another quick kiss. “See you after!”
Renee watched as Jessica climbed onto the stage and went back to preparing for the night.
Her mother appeared at her side again. “Who is that delightful creature, and why aren’t you more excited to be in her presence?”
“That’s Jessica,” Renee said. “It’s new. And I am excited to see her. Just nervous, that’s all.”
Nervous about so many things that night.
Near the entrance, people slowly filed in. She should go to greet them. Her breathing became quick and shallow.
“I can’t do this,” she muttered.
“Of course, you can,” her mother said. “And if anyone gives you a hard time tonight, you send them to me, okay?”
Renee looked at her mother as if she’d sprouted wings and a tail. It was almost as if she was looking out for Renee. But that couldn’t be right.
“Thanks?”
Her mother pointed toward the entrance. “Someone else is here I believe you’ll want to see.”
Renee turned around and spotted Ben and Felicia signing in at the welcome table. She practically ran to meet them and gave them each a big hug, grounding herself in them.
“Thanks for coming.”
“Free food and music? I wouldn’t miss it,” Ben said with a sly grin.
“Don’t listen to him,” Felicia said, swatting his arm. “We’re just glad we could be here for you.”
“Glad to see you both. With you guys here, I might actually get through this night.”
“With us and a certain someone else, I imagine,” Ben said.
“Oh yes, where is she?” Felicia asked, craning her neck to look around the room.
Renee glanced toward the stage but didn’t spot Jessica. “Bringing in equipment. I’m sure she’ll show up again soon.”
“Well, I’m looking forward to meeting her later,” Felicia said.
“You’ll love her,” Ben said. “She makes this one smile, so she gets a gold star in my book,” he said, nodding at Renee.
Renee smiled, truly grateful to have both of her friends there with her. “I’ll let you two go find a table. Food should be out soon. If it isn’t, Mom will have someone’s head.”
She promised to catch them again later in the evening and turned to greet a new batch of guests, feeling a little less overwhelmed.
“Thanks so much for coming,” Renee told one of her aunt’s old colleagues. “It was so nice of you to be here.”
“Ellen was really wonderful,” the older man said. “I’m sorry she’s no longer with us. Did you know she and I used to have a standing Grammy-watching party after she retired? It was one of the things I looked forward to every year. She will be sorely missed by so many people in this town.”
Renee knew this, and yet the magnitude of her aunt’s reach surprised her every time she was made aware of some new-to-her connection.
The band thanked the guests for attending on behalf of the family, then Jessica caught her eye from behind the keyboard once again. They’d been exchanging looks all night, helping ground Renee through the chaos.
It was a tough night, but it certainly hadn’t been all bad. The music was great. The food, too. And everyone seemed to have a fun time, dancing and sharing memories. It had been a wonderful tribute to Aunt Ellen.
Ben and Felicia approached amidst a small crowd of stragglers.
“You survived,” Ben said.
“Of course, she did,” Felicia said. “Never doubted for a second that she could make it through.”
“Might have even had fun here and there,” she said. “Thanks again for coming. I don’t know if I could have made it through the night without knowing you two were here.”
She hadn’t had much time to hang out with them, as everyone wanted to take a turn talking with her and telling her some story or another about her aunt. Their sincerity warmed Renee’s heart.
There hadn’t even been time to talk to Jessica during the event, as Renee was always with someone when the band took its breaks.
But now they were through, both of them.
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow?”
“Absolutely,” Felicia said. “I’ll swing by before I head back home and after you’re done with the house stuff.”
Renee was having her aunts over to go through the house and see if there was anything sentimental that they wanted before she had the estate sale. It was maybe not the best weekend to cram both things in, but Renee wanted to get it over with, and the sale was the next weekend already.
They hugged and said their goodbyes, and Renee headed toward the back of the hall. She was stopped by her mother first.
“It was a lovely event, don’t you think?”
“Very nice,” Renee agreed.
“Next, you and I need to get together for a timeline on selling the house.”
“Right.” Because she was selling the house after she cleared it all out. She felt a whole lot differently about that prospect than she had a few weeks ago. But that was still the plan. Wasn’t it? “We can talk about it after tomorrow. I need the weekend to not think about that.”
“Sure,” her mother said. “But don’t wait too long. We want to get it on the market soon. Otherwise, we’ll probably want to wait until after Christmastime.”
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to get ready that soon. There’s still so much to do, and I’m going back to Baton Rouge after next weekend. I’ll only be here on the weekends to clear out things.”
“Oh,” her mother said, looking as if she had been slapped. “I didn’t realize you were going back so soon.”
“I’ve been here for a month. I need to get more business going again.”
“Right.” Her mother sighed and looked around. “I guess we should start tearing down here.”
Renee caught sight of her two aunts in the now-empty hall, balling up the plastic tablecloths to throw away. They were actually helping. Her time here with her family had been full of surprises.
She spotted Jessica hauling off the last of her equipment.
“Mind if I take a quick break?”
Her mother looked toward the stage and smiled. “Go see her. We’ve got this.”
Renee thanked her mother, once again wondering where this woman had been for most of her life, and headed for the back entrance where the band was gathered outside to finish packing up. She rushed toward Jessica, who greeted her with open arms.
Renee fell into the embrace and spoke with her head on Jessica’s shoulder. “I’m so glad you were here.”
Jessica rubbed Renee’s back. “I’m sorry I couldn’t catch you during our breaks. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“Yeah, sorry. It was kind of a whirlwind of people. The music was perfect. You guys were great.”
“Thanks. Everyone seemed genuinely happy for the celebration. Your aunt was clearly loved.”
“She was.” Renee stepped back and looked into Jessica’s eyes, shifting gears. “But there’s something you’re supposed to tell me. Something was bothering you when you got here.”
“It’s nothing. It’s not a big deal. You must be tired. We can talk about it another time.”
The words came out in a nervous flurry. Renee wasn’t going to let this slide. And she wouldn’t sleep if she was still worried about whatever this was.
“You’re a terrible liar. It has to be something,” Renee said. “Just tell me. My aunts are helping out, for once, so I’ve got a minute. What’s up?”
Jessica looked over Renee’s shoulder at the rest of the band, then she took Renee’s hand and guided her a few more feet away.
“Like I said, it’s not a big deal.” She inhaled deeply before continuing. “Claire talked to me this afternoon when I picked up Chase. She wants to get back together. Or she at least wants to try to work things out.”
Renee dropped Jessica’s hand as a pit formed in her stomach, deep and aching. “That’s not nothing.”
“No, I guess not. But it doesn’t mean anything.”
“What did you tell her?”
“Nothing,” Jessica said. “She made me promise I’d think about it.”
Renee now felt a searing pain in her chest to go with the pit. Her head swirled with what this meant. What was the right thing to do and say next.
She landed on only one option.
“Then you have to think about it.”
“What?” Jessica recoiled. “No. No, nothing had changed.”
“But it has. Or at least maybe she’s changed. You owe it to yourself to at least consider what this means. Or what it could mean.”
“Renee, I’m with you now. This changes nothing. I’ve thought about it, and I want to be with you.”
“You’ve thought about it for what? A few hours? This is a big decision. It deserves more time than that.”
Jessica took another deep breath. “I want what we have.”
“But will you regret not at least trying?” Renee asked. “You were with her for years. I get the impression that she wasn’t always good to you, but you deserve to find out if she’s changed.”
Jessica stood a little straighter as her expression darkened slightly. “Stop telling me what I deserve and let me decide what I want.”
“Fine,” Renee said. “I’m just saying you should take more time to decide that.” She paused, carefully choosing how to say these next few words. “And I’m going to step back while you do that.”
Jessica’s mouth was tight. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Well, it’s the idea I’m sticking with. I don’t want to be in the way of your decision, to influence it, and I don’t want you to regret anything down the line.
” She took a step backward, studying Jessica’s face as if it were the last time she’d ever see it.
It tore her open just thinking about it.
“I’m taking myself out of the equation.”
“Renee, don’t go. Please.”
But Renee was already gone, headed back inside with tears in her eyes and her heart aching with what-ifs.