Chapter 45
Waking up to the smell of strawberries was always a nice surprise, especially when it was from an actual dessert rather than a spill of her own scent. But waking up to a handsome alpha carrying a plate of warm waffles with strawberries, whipped cream, and sprinkles was even better.
Felix’s expression was so soft as he climbed into bed with her. “Good morning, Hun.” He kissed her forehead before placing the plate in her lap. “I wanted to do something special for you now that we’re back home.”
Back home.
Felix chuckled and brushed back some of her hair. “Do you want to go shopping today?”
“For what?”
“Anything. Everything. We know our house is an adjustment, and we want you to feel like this is your space. There are a few home stores I’d like to take you to so you can redecorate the space, and maybe, if you’re feeling up to it, we can check out a nesting store.
You deserve a proper nest, and now that you’ve moved into the omega suite, you should decorate the space how you and your omega feel fit. ”
A real nest! I’m so excited!
Sonnet frowned and stared down at her plate of food.
She wasn’t sure what she was feeling, but it wasn’t excitement.
In the past, her nests had always been small and messy.
Something for her to utilize only when she had to, but none of them had ever made her feel warm or safe like a nest was supposed to.
Sonnet?
Memories Sonnet had kept locked away for years were pounding at the door to be let in.
Flashes of her birth mother with a face unrecognizable, men who looked like monsters, cash on the bedside table next to an ashtray, and shouting.
So much shouting. You can never be an omega!
Do you understand me? You cannot allow yourself to be a whore.
SONNET! Talk to me!
She flinched as Felix’s hand rested on her shoulder. “Sweetheart?”
“I’m sorry,” she rushed. “I think it’s still a little bit surreal being back here.”
“I understand. We can postpone shopping.”
“No! No, I’d love to go shopping with you.”
“Perfect.” He kissed her forehead. “After you finish eating and getting ready, we can go. The boys might meet us later, but for now I get you all to myself.”
He had a possessive sparkle in his turquoise eyes, which made her laugh and lightened the mood. But once the door closed and she was alone, the same anxious thoughts came creeping back in.
I’m sorry. I’m just scared.
I’m sorry, too. I can try to suppress the memories.
She picked at her waffle and sighed. No. Our past isn’t just your burden to carry, and I don’t want to keep punishing you for it. It’s just hard. I don’t know how to build a nest for us.
But you’re not alone anymore, silly. I’m here to help you.
Do you even know how to build a nest?
Well, no…because you’ve shut me out for so long! But I know together we’ll be able to make it work.
Her omega’s confidence was the gentle push she needed to eat, get ready, and walk out the door with Felix.
He was dressed in a dark blue, short-sleeved button-up, with cream trousers, and brown loafers that matched his brown leather watch.
He didn’t really match her, which made her giggle.
She was wearing a soft green tee with patchwork white wide-leg pants, with a few random hand-sewn patches of pink, green, blue, and floral.
She had a colorful handbag and a chunky and layered handmade charm necklace.
She looked good. She felt good. And for a moment, she wondered what it would look like to have a picture taken of them together and posted on the news.
After all, Felix was successful, maybe the most successful out of everyone in his pack currently, so it was a real risk of being spotted.
She added another layer of pink lipstick just in case.
Felix took her to an area of the city with stores she never would have gone into before.
Her family was obviously well off. She never had to struggle, but her family focused their money more on travel than on clothes and jewelry.
Her mom was even more focused on running charity events, nonprofit organizations, and on donating than on using her money on things that would impress her women’s bridge group or wine club.
He pulled into a VIP parking lot with back access to some of these stores.
He held her hand protectively and didn’t let go.
All the workers were incredibly kind and helpful, and it was clear Felix had called ahead about his appearance.
Hence, they kept the stores quiet and made sure no one with a huge camera was coming in.
The first two stores, Sonnet was too overwhelmed by the prices to grab anything. A part of her couldn’t rationalize spending $600 on a throw blanket.
At the third store Felix took her to; she was impressed by the store’s history.
They were owned by African American sisters who transformed their great-grandmother’s hobby into a successful business, striving to reinvest their funds in the community.
They focused on quality over quantity and on being eco-friendly.
Getting to meet them helped ease some of Sonnet’s hesitation, and it didn’t take long before they had bought almost half the store.
And then Sonnet didn’t want to stop.
Once Felix tuned in to why she was hesitant, he began taking her to stores that shared the same values, and soon they had enough to keep Sonnet very busy redecorating.
They stopped off at a cafe when Sonnet’s phone blew up with messages from Jude and Kai. They must have been together, because their messages sounded like a competition of someone who could see her and kiss her first.
Felix rolled his eyes. “Tell them to meet us at the next location.”
She gulped. The next location was last on the list. The nesting store.
Deep breaths, deep breaths.
“What about Zayden?” She asked as they drove far out of the city to one of the largest nesting corporations.
“Unfortunately, I think he’s going to be incredibly busy with our manager and label. However, he promised to be home for dinner.” Felix smiled softly and rested his hand on her thigh. “We’ve all promised to never have dinner without you.”
“Really? That’s so cute!”
His cheeks flushed. “I don’t know about cute. Have you thought about what you’d like to buy for your nest?”
NO!
Sonnet bit the inside of her cheek. “A heating pad and a cooling blanket. Both of those things have always helped me get through my heat cycles in the past, and mine are getting old.”
“That’s practical,” he hummed. “I’ve researched that a nest is about comfort as well as appearance and smell. How did you decorate your nests in the past?”
Uh, well, I didn’t. Duh.
Your freaking out is making me freak out!
Felix raised an eyebrow and not so subtly chose the parking spot farthest away from the store.
“Sweetheart. Look at me.” He tilted her chin towards him.
“You’ve been in your own little world all morning and afternoon.
I don’t want to pry, but if you’d let me, I’d like to help you with whatever has you on edge. ”
Felix’s scent warmed the car, easing the edge of her burnt strawberry smell. His eyes were soft and kind but held a serious gaze and determination to help her however he could. She liked that. And she was also scared.
What do I say?
Maybe we should think about telling them the truth about our past. The full truth about our birth mother.
NOW?
No! We should wait before telling them all at once. But look at Felix. This is a good test of trust. Maybe we should at least talk through our nesting fears to help ease your anxiety.
Her omega was right, and she hated that because no one had ever known about any of her nesting fears or complications. Not even Summer and Scarlett, who knew almost everything else. But Felix had been the alpha who, during this whole process, made it easiest to first reveal hard things.
“In the past, I’ve never had an official nest before.”
“Never?”
She shook her head. “No. I…don’t know how. Having a nest and utilizing it properly has always been difficult for me and my omega. Building a real one for not just me but my alphas too? I’m just a little nervous. I don’t know if I’ll do it right.”
Felix shook his head and scooped her up easily, bringing her to his side and resting her on his lap.
He gently pushed back her pink hair and cupped her face.
“I’m glad you told me. We’ll take it slow in the store, and if you’re uncertain or too overwhelmed, we’ll leave and try again later.
” He relaxed his forehead against hers. “I don’t know what you have bottled up, but when you’re ready, I hope you know we’ll all be ready to receive it. ”
She melted into his arms, tears pricking in her eyes. “Thank you.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For always trusting me.” He kissed her, the kind that went on forever, and with it all her fears temporarily vanished.
She was thankful they were parked away from the prying eyes of others, but it turned out not to be paparazzi they had to worry about, but two jealous alphas. “We could just ignore them.”
Sonnet giggled as she pulled away from the kiss and rolled down the driver’s side window, still straddling Felix’s lap. “Hi! How were your work meetings?”
Jude and Kai looked at each other, then at Felix, then at Sonnet. Their chests were puffed out, and their arms crossed.
“We leave you alone with our mate for a few hours, and this is what you get up to?” Jude scolded.
“A parking lot? Really, Felix? And here I thought you had class.”
“Easy, Kai,” Felix growled. He squeezed Sonnet’s hips possessively before opening the door and letting her slide out. “You both were taking too long.”
They all bickered back and forth, and the jealousy turned playful.
Walking into the store, Sonnet almost entirely forgot about why she was nervous in the first place.
She couldn’t stop laughing and joining in on the teasing with her alphas.
By the time they merged into the middle of the store and Sonnet remembered what they were shopping for, she felt relaxed. And then, everything became fun.
Sonnet had never gone nest shopping before, not even with Scarlett, who loved redecorating her nest every few heat cycles. She had never experienced the hype of nest shopping before, and the more aisles they walked, the more ecstatic her omega became.
She couldn’t believe it when they walked out with three different shopping carts full of items. Tons of pillows and blankets, fairy lights Jude picked out himself, sheets of paper to make paper chains with, hanging paper stars, a disco ball for the fun of it, candles that all reminded her of her alpha’s scents, lots of fake plants because she didn’t want to be bothered struggling to take care of real ones, and then there were things she didn’t even know she’d want until her omega was practically seething at the mouth to have them, like seashells. Lots of seashells.
I never want to forget our time at the ocean.
In a matter of a month, everything had changed, especially within herself. It was scary, growing into her own anatomy as an omega after years of avoiding her own admission to being one. But as life shifted, she felt her happily-ever-after approaching quickly.
Let’s tell them the truth this weekend.
Really?
I don’t want to be ashamed of who we are anymore. Bad things have happened to us, but that doesn’t make us bad. I can see it now. What you were saying about our alphas. They are here to support us on our journey, as we’ve done for them. I’m ready to let them in.
Then I’m ready to accept them.