Chapter 46
Decorating an entire mansion was exhausting, intimidating, and fun.
Since all her alphas were out for meetings, she’d been left alone all day long with nothing better to do.
It was hard the first few hours, but now that she was brightening the place up, she was feeling much better living in their house.
The massive, open-concept living room alone had come a long way. With everything dark—the flooring, walls, ceiling, EVERYTHING! —it was tricky to figure out how to brighten the space without it clashing too much with the grey wood flooring and charcoal walls.
Pillows were layered across the leather couch in shades of lavender, soft yellow, and peach. She added a few fun-shaped pillows, like a goose and a seashell. She also added a few throw blankets since her alphas struggled to share.
The biggest struggle was laying down the white carpet with splashes of pastel coloring. The couch and table were heavier than she expected, but she was determined to have everything done before they came home.
The coffee table was worse than the carpet. She was used to Summer coming over to build all of her IKEA products. The instructions were infuriating, and Sonnet wasn’t very confident the coffee table wouldn’t fall apart, but that was future Sonnet’s problem.
The fresh flowers on the table, back door, and in the kitchen brought in the warmth and homey vibe she was looking for. That, paired with the cream-colored, cozy floor pouf, brown bookshelves, and pictures from their vacation in cute picture frames, tied everything together beautifully.
She still hated the house, but at least now it felt a bit more like home. Like she belonged.
There was just one last problem. Her nest.
“I have a vision,” she began, looking between the empty room and her bags. “I just don’t understand the vision.”
Should we start making paper chains? Then we can think through things.
“I think that is the one thing I can do.”
But as Sonnet was making them, the heavier her hands felt, and the more her anxiety was creeping back in. She had so many suppressed memories; things she once considered far-away fantasies were now real-life experiences.
Looking at her nest was just another reminder of how Sonnet felt like she had failed at being an omega.
Every time she looked at her nest, she heard her birth mother telling her that to be an omega was to be a whore.
She tried for so many years to remember her mother as someone who sacrificed kindness for the sake of her daughter.
But two things could be true at once. Her mother sacrificed, but she was also traumatized. She loved, but she also hated.
“I don’t think I can do this,” she sighed, trying to hold back tears.
“Is that so?”
Sonnet looked up and immediately burst into tears when she saw Summer standing in her doorway, dressed in her yoga outfit with her blonde hair pulled back, and her eyebrows raised knowingly.
“Don’t cry! Why are you crying?”
“Because I missed you!”
Summer crashed onto her bed, both of them falling back and clinging to each other. Sonnet’s heart cracked open, pouring out all the aching feelings she had been holding back.
“I missed you so much, sissy.”
Summer squeezed her even tighter. “Don’t leave me that long again. Half my heart goes wherever you do.”
“I’ll try,” Sonnet giggled, tears mixing into Summer’s hair. “But you should have been there. The ocean was so beautiful.”
Summer sighed and rolled off of her. They held hands and stared up at the ceiling. “I liked all the pictures you sent in the family group chat. Mom liked them a lot. It was really special to see you get happier and happier each day. Why are you so sad right now?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Don’t start pouting and whining now,” she scolded, propping up on her elbow. “I’m your sister. You’ve always talked to me. Tell me why I got a phone call from your alphas worried about leaving you alone today?”
“I’ve been fine being alone today. I’m not helpless or needy.”
“Do I really have to say it?”
Sonnet frowned. “Say what?”
“They’re worried about your mental state when it comes to building a nest.”
Felix.
Sonnet sat up and kicked off her paper chains. “What did he tell you?”
“Nothing. Felix said he wouldn’t betray your trust, but that there’s been some anxiety about you building a nest, and they all wanted to make sure you had the support you needed. Me.”
“And me.”
They both turned just as Scarlett came hurdling towards them. A grocery bag of goodies in hand, which she tossed all over the bed. She engulfed Sonnet in a tight hug before flopping on the other side of her.
“So,” Scarlett hummed, “what part of the pep talk did I miss?”
“You’re so insensitive and intrusive and always late!” Summer threw all the pillows towards Scarlett. “I told you when to meet me here, and I also said I wasn’t going to wait for you. Did you even buy the right snacks? HEY!”
Scarlett shoved Summer, and she crashed into all the bags of nesting supplies Sonnet hadn’t touched.
“Sugar? You really haven’t started nesting yet?” Scarlett began sorting through all the things she had bought. “Aw, cute! These are perfect for you and your omega. What’s holding you back?”
She couldn’t tell them. She did what she did best. Sonnet cried.
And they did what they did best. They hugged her.
She loved their hugs. Sure, her alphas were also comforting and perfect but being held by her girls was a love much deeper than a biological alpha and omega bond. It was sisterhood.
Summer and Scarlett took good care of her for the next hour like they always had.
She told them all about her vacation and her men, and when Goose came and joined them, the mood lightened further.
Suddenly, Sonnet was finally in the middle of her nesting room, trying to see the big picture of how to put everything together, with her girls waiting for her instructions.
I’m scared.
Talk to me.
She took a deep breath.
I just keep wondering if I’m too broken. What if they accidentally get cut on my shards?
But that’s the thing about broken glass. You can turn it into beautiful art. I am here now, Sonnet. You’ve let me in. You’ve grown so much in yourself in a garden you’ve deemed unworthy, but soil is soil, sunlight is sunlight, water is water, and you. Have. Bloomed.
Warmth struck her heart, covering her cracks like a beautifully sewn bandage. The ache softened.
She turned towards Scarlett and Summer, her eyes still glassy, but a genuine smile curled on her lips. “Okay. Here’s the vision…”