Chapter 29
Chapter
Twenty-Nine
My knees hit the ground so hard that they could have shattered.
I knew that his forgiveness was a long shot, and I didn’t blame him—not for a second. But the recognition that I had really lost him still obliterated my soul. I deserved it. I knew that. Though the reality of that knowledge was one of the most horrific feelings in the world.
My face found my hands. I tried to pull myself together so I could leave before Kohen arrived, but I didn’t foresee being able to collect myself any time soon.
Stupid. I was so fucking stupid.
Sawyer agreed that we would forget about what happened, but could we ever truly be the same? And now I’d lost Sebastian for good, and I had no one to blame but myself. This was all my own damn fault.
My eyes burned as I tried to control them. I didn’t think I had ever felt worse about myself in my entire life, and coming from someone who had fought against their own brain from the moment they were born, that was saying something.
For a few minutes, I took deep breaths, preparing myself for an audience when I left the confines of the storage room. My entire body shook with my sobs as I forced myself up, brushing my palms against my thighs in a final attempt to gain control.
The door suddenly flew back open. Sebastian stood in its wake, his cerulean eyes pulling mine in by an invisible thread. He didn’t move, just stood there and stared at me, like he was surprised I was still here.
“Did you forget something?” I forced the words out despite the numerous voice cracks.
I turned my head, trying to conceal the puffiness of my cheeks, though he knew me well enough to see right through it.
Instead, my hands found each other, my fingernails picking at the skin on the side of my thumb.
Sebastian’s shaggy, dark hair brushed over his forehead with his nod. “Yes.” His lips moved, though his body did not move a muscle.
My eyes skimmed the room. Was I in his way—blocking whatever he needed? “What?”
“You.”
Within five seconds, Sebastian had a hand splayed on my lower back and his mouth against mine in an unforeseen kiss.
It was a scattered, confused kiss, but a kiss all the same. I thought I might melt into a puddle on the floor with the way my body temperature rose when at last he held me after so much time.
Disappointment flared in my skin and bones when he pulled back all too quickly, setting his frantic gaze upon my face. “You really didn’t let him fuck you?”
My eyes glimmered as I stared back at the literal perfect man holding me. “Gods no. But—”
“I don’t care about the buts. Thank the gods.” The color ran back to his face with my answer. He cupped his hands around my face. “I’m relieved. Because you’re mine no matter what, and my cock is the only one allowed inside of you.”
Fucking hell.
My thighs clenched as his mouth found mine again, drawing me in and setting me free from the pain that had been stuffed inside of me with each tantalizing motion of his tongue.
“Gods, how I have missed you, love,” he whimpered into my mouth, the sound making me liquify.
“Seb, I’m so—”
“No more apologizing. Not from either of us.”
His tongue delved further into my mouth, exploring every outline of my cheeks.
“I’m going to kill him, though,” he growled, not breaking our lips apart.
“No you won’t. If you can forgive me, then you can forgive him.”
“That’s different. I’m in love with you.”
“You love him, too,” I argued.
Sebastian stepped into me, forcing me back and pressing my body against an empty wall. “Yeah, but he doesn’t know what it feels like to have my dick in his mouth,” he teased, dropping his tongue to my neck and running it down to my collar bone.
Shivers scattered across every inch of my flesh.
“So that’s it?” I breathily moaned as he nipped at my skin. “You’re really going to forgive me for everything, just like that?”
His hands found my waist, squeezing my curves with his fingertips. “Do you forgive me?”
“Yes. But—”
“We have a bad track record of wasting time that could be spent together, so let’s leave all of the hard feelings in this room.”
“Seb—”
He held a finger to my swollen lips. “I know what it's like to be a victim of your own mind. I know what it's like to go through trauma and come out on the other side. I understand that I hurt you, and I understand that your emotions have been all over the place between that and everything else that has happened. He messed with your head while you were in a vulnerable state, and he shouldn’t have done that. All that matters to me is that I love you and you still love me, despite it all,” he claimed, gazing into my eyes with unwavering dedication.
“But Seb…I don’t deserve you.”
I didn’t, and this was quite possibly a dream, because there was no way he just forgave me so easily. Not when I held such a grudge over a stupid fucking notebook.
“No. I don’t deserve you,” he countered. “We can talk more later. But right now do you want to question it or do you want to take your pants off?” His voice was rough and animalistic as he pulled his lips from my body and steadied his gaze upon me, awaiting my answer.
“Pants.”
Our tongues found each other once more as his hands frenetically worked the buttons of my leathers. They hit the floor within seconds, and then he scooped me up into his arms, deepening our kiss.
In that moment, my entire being absorbed the taste and indescribable feel of him.
There was only him. There always only had been him.
He was the only one capable of burrowing himself so deep into my heart and soul that every other man on the planet had been preemptively ruined for me.
Should he meet Caius beyond the veil, my heart would go with him, tucked into the pocket of his black leather pants that I loved so damn much on him.
He held me on his hips, one hand on the back of my neck and the other cupping my ass. Nothing could compare to the way my body reacted to Sebastian, which was catastrophically life-changing to say the absolute very least.
Our mouths knew each other well, but we kissed like it was the first we’d ever gotten our hands on each other. I felt my desire growing stronger by the second, my panties dampening with each flick of his tongue across mine.
“We should go to one of our rooms,” I panted, tangling my fist in his hair. Fuck, how did I ever doubt that he was what I wanted? “If someone walks in here—”
“I haven’t been inside of you in too long, and I’ll be damned if I wait a second longer than we need to,” Sebastian groaned, his voice rough and laced with raw passion.
He carried me further into the room, not breaking our kiss as he set me down on an empty desk in the corner. He dropped his hand from my neck, using it to pull my shirt over my head and tossing it over his shoulder into the wreck of a room we’d already created.
That’d be a bitch to find later.
He took a step back, removing his own shirt to reveal his toned abdomen that I found myself thinking about way too often. When his mouth found mine again, he made quick work of my bra, then my panties, leaving me completely bare in the middle of the damn storage room that anyone could walk into.
Starting at my neck, he worked his tongue down my entire body. His mouth settled over my peaked nipple, nipping slightly before moving lower and lower, teasing right above the area where I really wished he would focus on.
One hand splayed on the desk, I took a fistful of his hair in the other, guiding his head down.
I moaned as he licked me exactly where I wanted him to. He reached a hand up, toying with one of my nipples, the slight sting forcing my head to fall back with a moan. “Seb…if someone walks in here—” I tried voicing my concern again, remembering that Kohen was due to meet him at any moment.
At my interruption, Sebastian's lustful gaze moved back to mine. “If someone walks in here, they are going to see how fucking beautiful you look with my cock inside of you.”
A needy, desperate groan fell out of me when he sucked my lips into his once more, not breaking them apart as he worked his pants off.
His rough palm encased mine, directing me to his desire.
My hand tightened around his girth, pulling a gentle grunt from him as I began stroking up and down his shaft then running my thumb over the swollen tip.
He moaned into our kiss, then broke his lips from mine to drop his gaze, watching me stroke him. When he finally met my eyes once more, his face gave me a look that said if I made him wait much longer, he would explode.
So I didn’t. I scooted back on the desk and spread my thighs, giving him access to do exactly what we have been waiting to do for weeks.
And godsdamn.
He pushed into me, just the head at first, but when my neck fell back in pure ecstasy, he couldn’t resist and gave me his full length with one hard thrust.
“Oh, fuck,” I cried out in perfect pleasure, biting my lip as the feel of him inside me made me forget where exactly we were.
Sebastian put a hand over my mouth as he drove in and out of me in a perfect rhythm. “For the girl who was so worried about getting caught, you’re awfully loud,” he taunted, his voice nothing more than a growl of desire.
Using his free hand, he pulled me upwards, supporting my back so that he could replace the hand over my mouth with his lips. The desk rattled underneath me as we fucked mercilessly, our bodies working in sync to fulfill the craving we’d been denied of for so long.
The gods must have been on my side for once in my life, because the odds of this even happening right now were so very slim.
He and I never had good odds from the start—we’d had endless shit thrown at us and our relationship.
Yet here we were, fucking each other senseless in a damn storage room right after the fight of the year.
“Gods, Seb. I’ve missed your dick so fucking much,” I cried out, unable to hold the words in as he thrust into me in a way that made my thighs clench tighter.