Chapter 42 #2
Kohen’s brows furrowed. “Oh please. You three have been acting weird since this morning. What happened?”
“Nothing,” I answered, the single word hardly sounding convincing.
“You don’t need to lie, Maeve. It’s okay to tell them what happened. Unless Sawyer wants to do the honors?” Sebastian shot him a death glare.
Pia gasped, then slapped a hand to her mouth in shock, pointing to the three of us in a giggling fit of excitement. “Oh my gods! Did you three—”
My face contorted, a silent warning for her to shut the hell up.
“Oh shit.” Kade joined Kohen, jumping to his feet. “Wait. This whole time I thought Hawthorne was joking about the three-ways?” He looked terrified, his eyes bulging and his cheeks red.
“I was joking. If I was going to have a three way, it sure as hell wouldn’t be with you, Lyrise.” Sebastian rolled his eyes, finally giving in and slamming his book shut.
Kade almost looked offended. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Uh, it means I wouldn’t have a three-way with you,” Sebastian mocked.
“Enough about three-ways!” Kohen shouted, receiving a few glares from others in the archives. Even the fish looked appalled at his words. “What's going on between you guys?” he demanded in a much quieter tone.
I dug my nails into my hands. I had no intention of sharing what Sawyer said to me with anyone. It was none of their business, and frankly, Sebastian was overreacting.
“Are you pregnant?” Pia spat out as if the idea came to her in a revelation. “Because you didn’t drink with them the other night. Oh my gods! If it’s a girl, you better name it Piper, after me. Or Pippi. That’s cute. ”
“What?” I scowled, scrunching my entire face taut. “No! I’m not fucking pregnant.”
She pressed a hand to her chest and, dare I say, looked disappointed.
Kohen’s arms shot up in dismissal. “Well if someone doesn’t tell me what's going on—“
“I told Maeve that I’m in love with her,” Sawyer blurted, abruptly pushing out of his chair and rising to his feet. “I’ll be waiting in the corridor. Let me know when the rooms are ready.” Without making eye contact with any of us, he stormed away, his hands tucked in his pockets.
Kohen, dumbfounded, couldn’t speak.
“Fuckkkkk,” Pia drawled in a whisper, her eyes darting to me in a look that said I told you so.
“This day keeps getting better and better,” Kade chuckled, clapping his hands. “Between meeting Hawthorne’s former booty call and now this. Talk about drama.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you're an ass?” I asked Kade, not an ounce of sarcasm in my tone. “It’s not funny.” My eyes darted to Sebastian. “And we aren’t making a big deal about it. Right?”
“You’re not. But I am.”
“Hey Hawthorne, out of curiosity, did Samara ever refer to you as Sebby while you two were getting it on?” Kade quipped, fighting the stupid smirk on his face.
“Hey, Kade,” I hissed. “Remember where I punched you at Venay’s funeral? Do you want a repeat but with my boot this time?”
Jumping off of Sebastian’s lap, I stormed forward, fully prepared to squash Kade’s balls when a manly voice flowed through my ears. “Am I interrupting something?”
I turned to Azain, whose flowing, black hair was now tied back in a tight, low bun.
“Not at all. In fact, I’m beyond relieved to see you,” I breathed.
He smiled flirtatiously, chewing his lower lip. “Are you now?”
“Careful,” Kade warned, gesturing towards Sebastian and myself. “Those two are into some freaky shit.”
Ignoring him, Sebastian stood and positioned himself in front of me. “I assume the rooms are ready?”
Azain nodded.
“That was fast,” Pia said as we followed Azain down the glass stairs.
I trailed a finger along the crystal railing. “Not fast enough,” I muttered under my breath.
Sebastian’s and my room was more like a house. It had an entire living space, decorated with a sofa, chairs, and bookcase, along with a huge bath basin in the washroom. The bedroom alone was the size of my room back in Caelestis, and the bed…
I ran the taupe-colored sheets between my fingertips. “Silk?”
“Only the finest,” Azain confirmed, taking a back step out of the room.
“I’ll leave you both to whatever it is you're going to do in here.” He ran a hand down his face, shaking his head.
“The wardrobe is stocked. Make sure you look presentable tonight. You remember the standards King Franlow has set on attire?”
He waited for a nod of approval from Sebastian before leaving us in the living space.
Upon his exit, I returned to the bedroom, throwing my body down onto the glossy covers, my body melting into them. “I’m exhausted,” I exhaled through a lazy breath.
Sebastian fell down beside me, reaching a hand out to stroke my hair.
“And I smell like a horse, so don’t try anything,” I added. Not to mention I still felt entirely inferior compared to his hot, tiny-waisted, high-heeled ex.
“Same. We could try that bath out,” he suggested, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into him.
“Eh.”
His dark brows met in the middle of his forehead. “Something is bothering you,” he stated the obvious.
I scoffed. So many things were bothering me. Our whole situation with Draemor, of course, but also my self-consciousness ever since I laid eyes on Samara. The Hykahs. How I had the soul of a goddess in addition to my own. Oh, and can’t forget about the Sawyer situation.
Ugh.
“Tell me,” he demanded, his usual rough voice falling soft. “I promise not to overreact.”
I gave him my eye contact as I ran my palm over the slight stubble along his jawline. “Can you cut Sawyer some slack? If I hadn’t kissed him back, then he probably never would have said anything about his feelings for me. This is my fault for leading him on and I just…feel bad.”
“Maeve, by what he said, he’s had feelings for you for months, if not longer. This is likely nothing new. Nothing that kissing him would have changed too much.”
I shuffled up onto his lap, unintentionally drawing a groan from his throat when my ass settled on his groin. “I just feel guilty. For so many reasons.”
Sebastian slid his hands down to my hips, squeezing them with his fingertips. “You don’t need to, but I’ll lay off. I’m pissed at him, but I’ll try to drop it for you.”
“It’s not just that. The whole thing isn’t that simple.” I chewed my lips as guilt swallowed me whole. Suddenly every slightly bad thing or thought I’d had in the past month hit me like a brick.
“What is it then?”
Against my better judgment, I let the confession spill out of me like lava. “He tried to tell me before, but I ran away before he could because I knew what he was going to say. That's when I went to see Pia and drank instead of training. That’s what I didn’t want to talk about that night.”
Sebastian pulled his back up so he was sitting, then scooted us back so he could use the headboard for support. “Ah.”
“She said I should let him get it out of his system and give him the space to tell me.” This day had already been an absolute whirlwind of emotions, and I was being swept away.
“I am so in love with you that it hurts.
You are everything I have always wanted and more.
And I am terrified that deep down you really despise me for what I did—for ruining your friendship with him and for betraying your trust in me.
And now we're under the same roof as that drop dead gorgeous woman you used to sleep with, who surely never kissed your best friend,” I stuttered through the admission.
Sebastian grazed a finger along my cheek, gently skimming my gemstones before pulling me into his chest and resting his chin on the top of my head.
“You must hate me. You should hate me. You should hate me for holding a grudge about the journal, for what happened with Sawyer when I couldn't handle my own emotions, for being so damn insecure.”
I paused to catch my breath, pulling out of his hold to look into his gorgeous eyes.
“And if I’m right—if you secretly despise me—what's to stop you from running back to Samara? I mean, we're here—might as well. I’m sure you two had way better sex than any sex I could ever give you. You could leave this room right now and go to hers. That would be the ultimate payback towards me. That would be exactly what I deserve.”
My breathing hastened to a level that I couldn’t get control of. Although a part of me felt better for sharing my every inner thought, another part of me felt worse.
“Maeve, breathe.” Sebastian's cool tone flowed in one ear and out the other. “I could never hate you, and I mean that to the very depths of my soul. From the second I found out about you and Sawyer, I knew that I still loved you with every fiber in my being.”
“Really?”
He lifted my chin with a single finger and nodded.
“Did it hurt to think of you with someone else? Like a fucking knife to the throat. But I know you. I know who you are all the way into the deep, dark caverns of your mind. I know your intentions and I know your heart. I know with certainty that whatever happened between you and him was because of all the stress I’d put you through.
If anyone should hate anyone in this situation, you should hate me.
” He let my face go, lowering his eyes into mine.
I covered my face with my hands, my cheeks burning red from embarrassment. “I could never hate you,” I copied his words.
His fingers found my hair, rubbing my scalp in comfort, offering me a silent I know.
“As far as Samara goes—” He clasped his hands around my wrists, pulling my hands free from my face.
“You are the only woman I will ever have eyes for, for the rest of my time on this planet and even beyond in the veil. I mean, gods, Maeve. My corpse would find its way out of the dirt if it meant I had one more second with you.” After a brief pause, he added, “Also, sex with you could never compare to anyone else.”
“Are you sure? Because you likely have a hell of a lot more experience than I do. For all I know, I could be the most boring sex of your life.”