Chapter 45
Chapter
Forty-Five
When the sunlight bestowed my room with a faint golden glow, my eyes lazily flickered open.
I rolled onto my side, palming the mattress beside me.
Sebastian’s spot was cold, a cruel reminder that he had been gone for days, even though I still subconsciously patted the sheets searching for him each morning.
With a deep yawn, I pulled myself upright and stretched my arms over my head. With no plans, I took my time getting out of bed, spending the better portion of an hour studying what nature I could see from the window.
Eventually I made my way to the washroom, where I cleaned up for the day ahead before putting on yet another outfit that wasn't mine.
My socks shuffled over the strips of shining hardwood in the hallway, snagging on a loose nail where I stopped in front of Sawyer’s room. I yanked the thread free, then rammed my fist against the door. “Sawyer? Are you awake?”
It was early, but he wasn’t one to sleep in, so when silence was all I heard beyond his door, I knocked again. Harder.
I raised my voice. “Let’s go get something to eat and then we can do some sparring practice. I’m already bored with this day and—”
The door swung inwards, revealing a fully nude blonde woman. Fully blonde. Everywhere.
My fist suspended in the air, my mouth fell into a tight line. “Uh.”
Sweet mother of gods.
“May I help you?” The woman’s bright blue eyes sparkled as she spoke, her heavily mascaraed lashes batting against her cheekbones with each blink.
“I. Um.” I stepped back, doing everything in my power to put space between myself and her bare body. I turned my head to the side, looking down the hall before forcing my attention back to her, holding it steadily on her face. “Is Sawyer in there?”
“Why?” she practically snarled, her blush lips pursed.
With a slight shake of disbelief, I jerked my head back. Why? Why was I looking for my best friend? The only person I knew in this kingdom at the moment?
“Um? Because he’s my friend and we’ve been getting breakfast together for the past two days,” I spat back.
She licked her lips. “Hm. He hasn’t mentioned you.”
Dumbfounded, my cordiality lost me. “Who the hell even are you?” I sneered, shoving my shoulders towards the ceiling in a palms-out shrug.
The woman parted her plump, pink lips to reply, only to be interrupted by the person I was actually looking for.
“Stella, who is it? And put some clothes on, for gods’ sake.” Sawyer appeared behind Stella in the doorway, just about as clothed as her, although thankfully sporting a pair of underwear. He gripped the door frame with one hand, tousling his dirty-blond hair with the other.
Stella huffed a breath, but turned away into the dark room, making sure to flaunt her near perfect ass first.
Sawyer closed the door behind her, stepping into the hallway and crossing his bare arms. His head bobbed with his greeting, “Sup?”
Keeping my eyes on the upper half of his body, I scrunched my nose. “Sup? Sup with you?” I gestured my head towards the door. “Fun night?”
Guess he moved on quickly. Not that that was a bad thing. It certainly took some pressure off of my shoulders.
A cocky grin bestowed upon his half-awake face. “I don’t have a classy way to answer that question.” He shrugged and disregarded my question, crossing his arms to back against the door. “Do you need something?”
“Not particularly. Your friend does though. A few things, actually. A bra wouldn’t hurt. Pants. Maybe a shirt. Panties, for fuck’s sake. Oh, can’t forget a better attitude.”
He rolled his eyes, but agreed, “She always did have an attitude.”
My sarcasm faded. “I came here to see if you wanted to get breakfast, but Sawyer—” I lowered my tone, just in case there was a naked little eavesdropper on the other side of the door.
“I don’t know the entire story between you and her, but is starting things over with her something you really want to do? ”
“Not particularly,” he stated blandly, dropping his own voice to a deep pitch.
“Okay…does she know that?”
“Gods. You sound just like Kohen right now. If you're gonna hook up with her, fine, But make it clear that it’s just sex. Don’t play with her feelings blah, blah, blah,” he mocked in his best Kohen impression, which was actually pretty spot on.
His body tensed, and although he didn’t say it, I couldn’t help but think that he just described me, and he no doubt was thinking the same thing. I had played with his emotions, and my own for that matter, and I’d never forgive myself for it.
I’d give anything to have my friendship with him return to how it was before all of that. I was beginning to wonder if it even could. You couldn’t erase history, or unrequited love—no matter how hard you tried to ignore its truth.
“I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that there was a reason for you ending things with her last fall?”
He lowered his voice even further. “Not that it’s any of your business, but last night was a one-time thing, which I made very clear to her.”
My lips stuck together. He was right. It wasn’t any of my concern. Not really. Although I felt partly to blame for him using her as an outlet. Using her body to get me out of his head—the same thing I had done to him when I couldn’t get Sebastian out of mine.
“Sorry. You’re right. Not my business.” I tossed my arms up in surrender and spun on my heel. “See you later.”
He called after me, his body halfway through the door. “I’ll be at the dining room in five minutes, give or take.”
My smile split open to speak, only to reseal when a beige-skinned man slipped by Sawyer and out of the room.
My eyes bulged.
The corner of Sawyer’s lip curved up and he shrugged. “All the talk about three ways got me thinking.”
After stopping by my room to grab some shoes, I made for the dining hall, ignoring the looks of passersby as I sauntered through the halls. Their gazes were settled blatantly on my gemstones and markings while they muttered to themselves.
I was used to being ogled at by now, but I’d be lying if I said that the negative attention didn’t stir me up inside.
It always brought me back to my first gala in Caelestis when King Hawthorne totally blindsided me with his announcement of my gift.
The memory of how I felt in that moment still made my stomach churn.
The smell of fresh pastries and eggs filled my nostrils. Taking a sharp corner at the end of the hall, I stepped into the dining room, my smile instantly fading when my gaze settled on Samara drinking a cup of tea at the head of the table.
Immediately after making eye contact, I backed out of the entryway. “I’ll come back later,” I muttered in annoyance under my breath.
“Oh, relax,” Samara drawled, making me stop in my tracks. “Stay. I don’t bite.”
“Doubtful,” I mumbled, but my body reluctantly turned towards her.
“You’re up late today,” she pointed out, her eyes raising to the clock. “Or early. I don't know. I have yet to see you at breakfast, and I always come at this time.”
“Early.” Marching to the table, I took a seat as far from her as possible then reached into the pastry basket in the center, pulling a muffin free.
Her eyes didn’t stray from me. I could detect them tracking my every move. Studying me.
Once settled into my chair, I took a bite of my pastry and practically moaned at the taste of it. I hadn’t had a muffin this good since…
Since my mother made them.
My brief moment of grief was interrupted by an utterly grating noise.
“Carbs so early in the day?”
Taking a big bite, I answered with my mouthful. “Yup. Extra early for me, too. Remember?” A few crumbs dribbled from my mouth with my cutting remark. “Gonna wash it down with some fresh, sugary juice, as well. I’m going to need the energy.”
She scoffed through a steaming sip of her drink. She had not even a morsel of food in front of her, only the dainty cup with a teabag dripping over the edge. “For what? Sebastian is not here.”
Though my jaw clamped shut almost tight enough to break, I did manage to hold back the snarky comment that popped into my mind. “For training,” I clarified.
With the tip of her finger, she brushed a strand of silky, black hair behind her ear, unintentionally flaunting a colossal, sparkling earring.
“Ah. You still need to train daily? That’s cute.
I can go weeks now without holding a weapon and still be as sharp as a knife when I pick one back up.
” She took another sip of her tea, leaving red lipstick on the rim.
“Don’t worry. You’ll get there too, someday. Probably.”
My eyes begged to roll back in their sockets, but I held them still. My mouth, on the other hand, decided it was time to go off.
“Wow, Samara. That's impressive. Do you have the same skill when it comes to manners, or is that subject a bit more difficult for you?”
Samara set a poorly-hidden scowl upon my own amused expression. Setting her cup down properly, she leaned forward over the table on her elbows. “You’re funny, Maeve. No wonder Sebby likes you. Seeing as you aren't exactly his type.”
First of all—fucking bitch. Second of all—what the fuck was that supposed to mean?
My face sunk and I put my muffin down.
“Oh, sweetie,” Samara sang, her tone embellished with false sympathy. “Did I upset you? That wasn’t my intention.”
Bullshit.
“Don’t get me wrong, you're quite pretty. I just meant that Sebby tends to pick…slimmer girls.”
My eyes bulged.
I gained the weight back that I’d lost over the winter when I was sick, along with a few pounds extra, but I looked good—healthy. I’d never been small by any means, but I had always been a healthy weight for my height, which was a tad above average for a woman.
“At least he used to, anyway. But what can I say?” she added with a shrug. “Standards change.”
Pulling my shirt away from my stomach, I cleared my throat. She was just trying to get a rise out of me, and two could play at that game.