7. Poison
B etween his obsession with Pan and the addition of four new crewmen, James had his hands full. I’d been given the menial task of keeping our caged pixie cared for. It was likely to keep me quiet on the subject. At least this way, I could ensure she would be treated with kindness and respect. I was still struggling with the idea of her being kept like a pet, but James insisted, and I didn’t want another reason to argue with him.
She was a pretty little thing. Pointed ears poked out from her dark brown hair. Chocolate-colored freckles dotted her olive-toned cheeks, drawing attention to the specks of brown in her hauntingly grey eyes. Her delicate wings reminded me of a dragonfly, translucent and glass-like, reflecting the most beautiful iridescent shades of peacock green and blue. She was magic incarnate. I could admire her for hours. But despite her luminescent appearance, she was shrouded in melancholy. She sat silently on the floor of her cage with her knees pulled to her chest.
“Oh, little pixie, please don’t be sad. I’ll do everything I can to keep you comfortable,” I said, hoping she understood my words. I had no idea how to effectively communicate with her. “I wish I knew your name.”
Her head hung low as faint tinkling bells surrounded her.
“My heart breaks for you. I was caged once, too.” I knew exactly how she felt. Too many times in my life, I’d been held against my will. And here I was, ensuring this poor creature had the same fate.
She stood up, gripping the bars, staring at me with disbelief. Tinkling bells filled the air once again.
“I don’t understand.” I shook my head.
She sighed and sat back on the floor, clearly frustrated with my lack of comprehension.
“I’m sorry. I’m not from this realm.”
She looked at me curiously. Then promptly threw herself back on the floor dramatically in a poof of glittering dust.
There had to be a better way. “I have an idea. If you’re willing to try.”
She sighed in apparent frustration.
“If you’ll let me touch you.”
She turned her head to look at me. Her interest clearly piqued.
“I can—see things.” She was going to think I was mad. But maybe I truly was mad. I was the one carrying on a conversation with a pixie, who James had likened to a lowly firefly. “If I can touch your hand, I might be able to learn some things about you. It’s worth a try.”
She smiled and offered her tiny hand to me without getting up. Reaching in through the bars, I placed a finger in her tiny palm. Grief washed over me.
A field of bones.
A tiny, winged skeleton.
Chaos.
James’ lifeless body.
A glistening pool of aubergine.
I yanked my hand from the cage, shaking off the unsettling image of James. Something horrific was in the cards for him. I paused to take it all in and gather my thoughts. Reminding myself that my visions were often cryptic and didn’t necessarily show mirrored reflections of the future. Later tonight, I’ll sketch what I’d seen. If James was being honest and Neverland was going to steal my memories, I wanted documentation to refer back to. I took a settling breath and focused on the little pixie.
Tinkling bells quickly morphed into familiar words. “My name is Meadow.”
My eyes widened as I realized I could understand her clearly. Connecting to her through a vision must have opened up the channels in my mind. “Your name is Meadow? I’m Katherine.”
“Oh, now you can understand me?” she asked flippantly.
“Yes!” I giggled. “I didn’t know that was going to happen.”
She gave a condescending chuckle. “Thank the Divine it did. I’m no good at charades.” She stood up, smoothing out her leafy green dress. “Yes, my name is Meadow.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Meadow. Are you okay? I felt abundant sadness when I touched you.”
“Well, I was better before he trapped me in this cage.”
“His name is James. I tried to reason with him. I never wanted to?—”
“I know it wasn’t you. I saw it all over your face the night he captured me.”
“I know there is more to your story. I saw…” I wasn’t sure how to say it. I was pretty certain she had lost someone important to her.
“You saw, Porthos.” Her entire demeanor shifted, and the melancholy shroud returned. “He was my one true love. He didn’t deserve to die. Not like that.” She drifted off into thought, and a single tear slid down her face. “I was mourning him when…”
“When James captured you,” I finished for her.
“Yes.”
“Meadow, I’m so sorry. Would you like to talk about it? About Porthos?” I genuinely wanted to help. I couldn’t imagine the pain she was feeling, losing her mate.
“Can you bring him back?” she asked with hope in her eyes.
I slowly shook my head. “I cannot. I don’t possess that kind of power.” My heart broke for her. If I’d lost James, I would die trying to bring him back from the grave.
“What good is talking about it then?” Meadow sighed. She was right. There was nothing I could say that would ease her pain. “Could you possibly bring me outside? I’m fae. I belong in nature. Maybe I’ll feel his presence out by the trees.”
“That I can do. I was planning to collect a few herbs anyway.” I’d been considering concocting a poison to help James finish Pan once and for all. If I could get his attention back to me, we could finally start our happily ever after. I was quickly growing tired of feeling like a second thought. “Maybe you could help me find what I’m looking for?”
“Yes! I can show you where to look. Let me out of this cage, and we’ll fly to the forest together.”
“I’m afraid you’ll have to stay in the cage. I don’t possess the key.”
Her luminescence dimmed at my words. I was all too familiar with that kind of disappointment.
“Besides, I don’t know how to fly,” I admitted sheepishly. James had promised to teach me once we got to Neverland, but we hadn’t had the time. He hadn’t had time for much of anything since we arrived. Anything other than finding Pan.
“Flying is easy.”
“Says the winged pixie,” I teased.
“With my dust and a happy thought, it will be easy for you, too.” Meadow suspended herself in mid-air and spun around like a pirouetting dancer. A cascade of sparkling dust fell to the bottom of her cage. “Scoop some up.”
“Wait, we’re doing this now?”
“No better time than now. I long for the outdoors. Come on, rub some dust on your cheek.”
“Umm…” I considered her words for a moment before I decided she was right. James was off somewhere hunting for Peter. I had no logical reason not to. “Okay, let’s do it.” I smeared the dust across my cheek and waited for further instruction.
“Now, all you have to do is think a happy thought.”
I closed my eyes and envisioned my future with James. Just us, no more obstacles, no more distractions.
“That’s it! See, I told you, flying is easy.”
I opened my eyes to find myself floating effortlessly above the floor. My limbs felt completely weightless, and butterflies were fluttering in my belly. “Meadow! I’m flying!” A giggle spilled from my lips as I glided around the room, getting a feel for being off the ground. It was a truly magical experience. Tucking my knees to my chest, my body tumbled into a mid-air somersault. “I can’t believe I’m actually flying.”
“You’re a natural. It usually takes days to master a flip! Now, grab my cage, and we’ll head into the woods. You should practice without the confines of the room. It’s much more fun without walls to hold you back.”
Meadow, like James, had refused to take me into the Viridianwood. “The Viridianwood is home to the darkest fae,” she had said. “If I take you out there and something happens to you, I’ll meet a fate far worse than living in this cage.” It was true. If something happened to me, James would blame Meadow. I didn’t want to imagine the horrors he could instill upon her.
She had taken me back to the Mysterious River, promising me a varied collection of useful flora within a few feet of the riverbank. Datura, Belladonna, Lily of the Valley, and my personal favorite, Rosary Pea. All species I was pleasantly surprised to find here in Neverland. All lethal and abundantly available. I even collected a few I’d never heard of at Meadow's recommendation.
“These are all highly poisonous choices. What are you planning to use them for?”
I froze. I wasn’t expecting our little pixie to be so observant. I didn’t want her privy to our desires. I had to think quickly. “Just rebuilding my resources. I like a healthy apothecary at my disposal. You never know what one might need. Besides, not all poisons are bad.”
She paused for a moment. “Can we do this again? I’ll show you everything Neverland has to offer.”
I stifled a sigh of relief that she hadn’t tried to pry any further. “I’d like that. I could use some help learning the local flora.” Befriending Meadow was proving to be a valuable commodity. I’d just have to keep her in the dark until James’ obsession was satiated. “Do you know Peter Pan?” I asked, hoping to gain some insight on our nemesis.
“Of course, I know Peter Pan,” she huffed, seemingly offended that I’d ask such a question. “Don’t you?”
“I’m hoping to meet him soon. James is an old friend of his. Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to find him. Would you happen to know where he is?”
Meadow blew a breath through her nose. “Peter is often off on an adventure by himself. Sometimes, you can find a trail of dead bodies in his wake.” She spoke the words nonchalantly, as though leaving a trail of dead bodies was a completely normal thing to do.
“Dead bodies?”
“He does it all the time.”
“So, he just goes around killing people?” What kind of monster was he?
“People, beasts, fae, he’s not particular,” she said casually. “If you’re in his way, and he is—in a mood.” She dragged her thumb slowly across her neck and made a slicing sound before dramatically falling to the floor with her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth. I couldn’t help but giggle at her dramatic antics.
A loud crowing off in the distance pulled us from our conversation. Meadow jumped up from the floor, a smile across her face. “That’s our Pan now.”
“What?” My stomach dropped, and my pulse began to race.
“That crowing is Pan,” she confirmed.
Panic consumed me. I couldn’t meet him here, not without James’ protection. “We should go. Now.” I reached into the cage and swiped up more faerie dust, quickly smearing it across my cheeks.
Happy thoughts, think happy thoughts.
“Katherine?” Meadow looked at me, confused. “Is everything okay?”
“It’s… I’m… We need to get back. I don’t want James to worry. No one knows where I am.”
I had stupidly left the Jolly Roger without telling a soul. I didn’t even leave a note. What was I thinking? If James returned and I was missing, he would likely fear the worst. I remembered the vision of James screaming in agony. I had made a mistake leaving without notice. And with a stranger, no less. What if this was a trap? I had to get back to the ship. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and shifted my thoughts to happier times.
I anxiously paced our cabin while the vision of James lifeless haunted my thoughts. Candlelight flickering off the heavy drapes and dark wood gave an eerie feeling to the room, adding to my unease. It had been a while since I last read him. I should try again and see if things have shifted. Maybe the Divine was ready to reveal more of his story.
“We were close today, Kat.” James bounded in, pulling me close for a quick kiss and instantly soothing my nerves. “We heard his ridiculous crowing. He has to be here.” His eyes grew wild with excitement. “I dreamt of his death last night. Now I know exactly how I’ll execute the bastard. Do you know what lingchi is?” he asked.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard the term.”
“Death by a thousand cuts.” He smiled wickedly. “First, we’ll bind him to the mainmast. I’ll start with slow, shallow cuts. Just enough to make him beg for forgiveness.” James pulled his sword and sliced it through the air. “And then, when he is delusional with pain and dripping with blood, my cuts will get a bit deeper. He’ll lose his limbs first. Prolonging his inevitable death and turning him into the literal monster that he is. Piece by piece, he’ll lose what’s left of his humanity until he is nothing more than a glistening mound of raw, red, whimpering meat. It’s genius!”
My stomach turned with the vivid description James had laid out. “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Peter just a boy? That seems harsh, torturing a young child.” I wasn’t so sure how I felt about mutilating a child. Even one as vicious as Peter.
His lip curled back, and his brows drew together. “Harsh!? He is a vile thing . He will never grow up. Peter has lived more lives than either of us ever will. Hell, he has taken more lives than either of us combined. Don’t let his youthful appearance soften you.”
“What if I had a better solution? In fact, an easier, quicker option?”
“I don’t know how you can do better than lingchi.”
“I have procured enough herbs to concoct a lethal poison. A simple meal with the boy, and it’s over. You can torture him with words and delight in his panic while the poison takes effect.”
James took a seat at the table, poured a glass of rum, and lit his ridiculous cigar contraption without speaking a word. His silence was deafening. In all the years I’d known James, I’d never seen him this venomous. I sat across from him and poured myself a heavy glass.
“Do you not like my idea?” I asked delicately.
“What it lacks in artistic poetry, it makes up for in efficiency.” A large plume of smoke billowed out of his lungs. “Why don’t you make the poison, and we’ll see how I feel once we capture the abomination.”
I smiled proudly and finished my glass of rum in one quick toss. We were finally going to put an end to this madness. I sauntered over to James and kneeled in front of his feet. The hollows of his eyes were dark, his brows heavy with worry. I wanted to ease the stress from his mind and bring his attentions back to me. “Let me help you relax. Shift your thoughts to something more pleasurable.” I pulled the boots from his tired feet and reached for his breeches. “You’re tense. Allow me to—release some pressure.”
James sipped his rum silently as he watched me pull his hardness from his pants. “Let me show you how much I missed you today.” Staring into his fathomless eyes, I licked my lips before bathing his length with my tongue.
“My cock clearly missed you, too,” he groaned as his glistening shaft bobbed in appreciation.
His excitement emboldened me. Having the power to make him weak with need had me writhing with excitement. I teased the tip ever so gently, drawing a gasp from James’ lips. Sliding my mouth down his generous length, I took every solid inch of him down the back of my throat.
James growled, gripping the back of my head, and pushed himself deeper. My eyes began to water, and saliva spilled from the corners of my mouth. “Fuck, Kat, I love the way my cock looks in your mouth. So pretty.”
His praise melted my core, and wetness pooled between my legs. James continued to guide my head, using me for his pleasure until his breathing became ragged and jerky. I pulled him from my lips, swallowing his salty release, and gasped for a breath.
“How, may I ask, did you procure herbs?”
My heart sank, and a chill ran down my spine. Did he really just dismiss our intimacy and jump right back into Peter? “I’m sorry? Do we need to talk about this now?”
“I’ll ask you again, Katherine. How did you procure the herbs?”
I stood up, wiping his cum from my lips. “Can we finish this first?”
“We’re finished. Answer my question.”
His words stung. I never thought he would dismiss me in a moment of passion. I took a cleansing breath, smoothed out my shift, and prepared for his inevitable reprimanding. He was going to be irate with me for leaving without protection. “I was trying to help,” I sighed. “I took Meadow to the river to forage for supplies.”
“Meadow?”
“The pixie, her name is Meadow. I read her today, and somehow, I can now understand her tinkling.”
“You went exploring? On the island? Alone? Kat, do you have any idea how dangerous that was?”
“I wasn’t alone.”
“You had a caged pixie with you. What if she tricked you? Led you somewhere dangerous?”
“I was simply trying to help. Nothing bad happened. She’s actually a lovely companion.”
“A companion? She is not a pet. I’ll get you a feline if you need a companion .”
“I found her to be quite helpful. In fact, she’s going to teach me about Neverland’s local flora.”
“I don’t like it. Not one bit. If something were to happen to you…” Shaking his head, he stood up and pulled a pistol from a nearby chest. “If you are going to run off on your own, you’ll need protection. Do you know how to use a pistol?”
“I know how to fire one,” I admitted. Blackbeard had taken the time to teach me on the Queen Ann on the off chance we were ever in a situation where I might need to. However, I never got the chance to fire it. “Whether or not I can hit something is altogether different. I’ve never actually pulled a trigger.”
“We will practice. I don’t want you going off alone without this pistol ever again. Do you understand? If something happens to you, it’s on her head. She will suffer my wrath.”
“Yes, sir.” I had no doubt James would kill Meadow if I were in any way harmed. I’d have to be more careful.
“I’ve told you before, beautiful things in Neverland are never what they seem. You’d be wise to remember that. Now, let’s go to bed. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow scouting Pan, and thanks to you, I’m relaxed enough to actually sleep.”