10. Memories
“ F ive drops!” Katherine barged into our cabin, holding forth a small vial of yellow fluid. “Five drops is all one needs to cease life.”
I grabbed the vial and tilted it in my hands. Watching as the viscous liquid coated the glass walls, leaving behind a chartreuse-colored glow. My stomach clenched at the sight, as if it instinctually knew it was a deadly toxin.
I swallowed my animosity and offered her the praise she deserved. Though her chosen method wasn’t exactly appeasing my demon’s need for violence, I was proud of her, nonetheless. She was a talented alchemist. I couldn’t blame her for wanting to end Peter as quickly as possible. She bore the weight of my obsession almost as much as I did myself.
“Well done, love.” I placed a kiss on her cheek and offered her a seat at the table. “Tell me, how does it work?”
“We simply need something to suspend it in.” She raised her brow. “Wine, maybe? We could demand parley and offer Peter a drink—as a show of good faith. Once he’s taken a sip, he will be rendered frozen. Paralysis will be followed by sheer panic as his lungs cease to inflate. Suffocation will be his demise.”
I stroked my beard silently for a moment, contemplating her idea. Watching the boy suffocate would definitely entertain my need for malevolence. “Parley leaves too much at play. He’d never accept the drink. But faerie mead—in the form of a ‘gift’—from Tiger Lily, perhaps.” I felt a smirk pull across my face. This might actually work. “Peter would never suspect the Princess.”
“It’s decided!” Katherine snatched the vile back, smiling from ear to ear. “We have council with Tiger Lily today, right?”
“Yes,” I nodded, “her Royal Guard. Came quicker than I expected. Apparently, the situation with Pan is more important to her than I realized. We’ll be headed to her village later today.”
“We can grab a bottle of mead while we’re in the village. Maybe Smee could procure a bottle under the guise of stocking the Jolly Roger? Isn’t it wonderful, James? Peter Pan will soon be gone from our lives.” She spun around, filled with delight as she bounded back to her apothecary.
Soon couldn’t come quick enough.
Tiger Lily’s sentries ushered us into the throne room. White stone walls shrouded in climbing ivy were behind her commanding seat, bringing the outside world in. Though the room was large it felt quite small under her commanding gaze.
The bustling village hadn’t changed much since I’d been gone, and neither had the Princess. Her beauty had only deepened over the years. The lines of her face were maturing into a coquettish charm. Ethereal honey-toned eyes perfectly complemented her flawless caramel skin, giving her a haunting appearance. A delicate crown of antlers sat upon her head, contrasting against her dark flowing hair. She carried herself with an undeniable confidence.
Nymphs and satyrs lived unbelievably long lives. Though she appeared to be an adolescent, Tiger Lily, like Peter, was over a hundred years old. She was a Divine Chosen, fated to rule Neverland. And if Tiger Lily had any say about it, Peter would someday rule at her side.
“Jas, old friend,” she greeted me warmly as I approached her neatly appointed dais. “Welcome to the sovereign’s court. Please have a seat. We have much to discuss.” She motioned to several brightly colored cushions laid out before her throne. “Your crew have my blessing to shop the village merchants while we talk.”
I bowed before her dais, offering my respect. Noticing the guards tucked into every corner and exit. “I’d prefer to stand. Thank you, Princess.”
“As you wish. Time away from the island has changed you.” Tiger Lily eyed my physique.
“Time in the thirteenth realm moves faster than Neverland. You know this, Princess.” My face heated as her gaze lingered too long.
“You’ve grown.” She smiled. “Aging suits you.”
“Thank you, Princess.” I was quickly tiring of our little reunion. I wasn’t here to exchange pleasantries.
“Tell me, James, why would you choose to leave the island? You are mortal, are you not? Do you not value time?”
“We both know I didn’t choose to leave.” The words came out in a hiss. I was losing patience with the Princess.
“Peter has clear rules.”
“Rules the mere humans he brings back to Neverland cannot abide,” I rebuked, causing Tiger Lily to scowl.
“Peter is a Divine Chosen. He is inexplicably connected to the island. What makes you think his actions are not fate’s desire?”
“Because he’s killing innocent Lost Boys,” Kat blurted.
“I’m sorry.” The princess paused, glaring at Katherine. “I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting.” She stood from her throne and offered her hand. “Tiger Lily, Fae Princess of the Ninth Realm Descendant of the Divine.”
“Forgive me for my forwardness, Princess. I am Katherine Hawkins.” She bowed and kissed her hand.
“And what’s your business here in Neverland?”
“I’m here with James.”
“ With Jas?”
“With James—yes,” Katherine corrected. A touch of jealousy in her voice.
“This business is between Jas and me. Why don’t you explore the village with the rest of the crew while we discuss the matter at hand.” She waved dismissively towards the door.
“Katherine stays with me. There is nothing we’ll discuss that she can’t be privy to.”
“Quite attached, I see. If she must stay, I’ll expect her to remain silent. She’ll have no bearing on my decisions.”
“You’ll have her respect, Princess.” I turned to look at Katherine, pleading with my eyes that she honor Tiger Lily’s request.
“What is this notion you have about kidnapping Lost Boys?”
“As Katherine said, Peter is effectively killing off his Lost Boys as they age past what he deems appropriate. I’m merely trying to help those less fortunate than me.”
“Killing Lost Boys?” she laughed. “He is simply taking them back from where they came.”
“Yes, Princess. But in doing so, he leaves them helpless in a society they cannot survive in. Our realm is not like Neverland. It’s not kind to their youth. And we have reason to believe that he may be slaughtering them as well.”
“So, in lieu of an untimely death, you want my guard to kidnap them and deliver them to your crew?”
“Kidnap is such a harsh word, Princess. I’m simply offering them an alternative to death. As a member of my crew, they can live out the rest of their lives without the weight of Peter's rules.”
“As pirates?” she chuckled.
“Precisely.”
“Under your rule?”
I simply smiled. The irony wasn’t lost on me.
“Peter Pan’s affairs are governed by the Divine. It’s not my place to interfere. I cannot partake in your endeavors.” Her words were curt. “However, I can turn a blind eye. That is... if you can help me.” Her brow raised as a smile crept across her face. “I need a scapegoat. Someone to blame for any… misfortunes I might cause.”
I thought for a moment before responding. “That’s a heavy request, Princess. I’d be more likely to accept your offer if you could sweeten the deal.”
“I’m listening.” She leaned in closer, sitting at the edge of her throne. What was she scheming? It had to be something unsavory to require a scapegoat.
“As you know, Neverland has a way of stealing your memories. I find myself losing touch with my past, and that I cannot make peace with. You are a powerful nymph, a Divine Chosen. Surely you know of a way to stop it.”
Tiger Lily sat for a moment; her eyes focused on the corner of her dais. Her lingering silence crushed any hope I had for a solution.
“There is a way.” The tone of her voice deepened as she stared into my eyes. “It will cause you to remember every moment of your life in great detail. The good and the bad.”
“Yes. That is what I want. To never forget.”
“Forgetting is often a merciful alternative. You should not want to live in the past, Jas. Neverland simply takes that which does not serve you.”
“What serves me is none of your concern, Princess. Just as why you would have need for a scapegoat, is none of mine. Do this for me, and I’ll accept your offer.”
“You will need to be permanently marked with a talisman. Once it’s finished, it cannot be undone.”
“Perfect. That’s exactly what I was hoping for.” Neverland would never be able to dull my hatred for Pan.
Tiger Lily extended her hand. “It appears we have an accord.”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Kat asked while the Princess was busy chanting over several bowls of colored ink.
“It’s the only way, Katherine. You’ll not sway my choice.”
“You don’t even know what this ritual entails. Magic always comes at a price. What if?—”
“We will speak of it no more. I have decided.” Katherine was visibly upset, but I simply could not risk losing my memories. We had only been in Neverland for a short time and already the finer details of my past were becoming fuzzy. I never wanted to forget what Peter had done to me. How he destroyed my life and turned me into a madman obsessed with vengeance.
Tiger Lily poured a circle of salt around two pillows on the floor just below her dais and motioned for me to sit in front of her. “Jas, it is time. Remove your shirt and join me in this sacred space. Let us bind your memories.” With the flick of her wrist, candles all around the room ignited, casting us in a warm, flickering glow. She inched closer until our knees touched, gazing intently into my eyes. Tiger Lily reached for my chest, placing her warm palm over my racing heart.
“Are you sure?” she asked one last time. “You should know before we proceed—this will hurt.”
I simply nodded my understanding and focused my thoughts on a future without Pan. Nothing could change my mind.
“Let us begin.” She drew a raven's claw from her belt and reached for my right forearm. “What is this?” Tiger Lily asked, skimming her delicate fingers across the brand Edward had marked me with.
“It’s nothing more than a meaningless scar now. Pay it no mind.”
Her eyes met mine, searching for any sign of uncertainty. “It will be covered once we are done.”
“And I said to pay it no mind.” I’d be damned if I let Blackbeard fuck with my life yet again. I should have flayed his brand from my skin years ago.
“As you wish.” Tiger Lily took a deep, centering breath and began again. “Blood and bone,” she spoke the words while simultaneously slicing the razor-sharp claw down from the crook of my elbow to my wrist. I groaned at the searing pain. “Ink and skin,” she said, pouring the colored bowls she had enchanted only moments ago over my now bleeding wound. “Memories held within.” Tiger Lily’s eyes rolled back, and her head followed suit, flopping back at an unnatural angle. Her arms seemed to move of their own accord. With the raven’s claw still in hand, she began to draw. The sharp point dug into my skin painfully, pooling in a mess of color and blood. “In skin and soul, let them entwine. This is his will; hear me, Divine.” The raven’s claw dropped from her grasp, echoing around us in the deafening silence. Tiger Lily’s head returned to its normal position.
Excruciating pain consumed me as memories flooded my mind. My birth, my parents, the night Peter first took me to Neverland, the first time I tried to fly with faerie dust. Everything I had previously forgotten came crashing down as my life flashed before my eyes. The searing pain in my head was unbearable, like my skull was about to split in two. Surely, I was about to die in agony. It all became too much, and I collapsed into Tiger Lily’s arms.
“So shall it be.” An otherworldly voice spoke, and I couldn’t be sure if it were all in my head as I sunk deeper into the abyss, darkness consuming me.
“Jas,” Tiger Lily whispered, stroking my forehead. My head was cradled in her lap, and I was laid out before her.
Katherine tenderly wiped the tears from my eyes while holding my hand, concern plastered on her face.
“It is done.” Tiger Lily sprinkled faerie dust over the bloody mess of my forearm before wiping it clean.
There, emblazoned on my arm, obscuring Edward’s brand, was a beautifully animated tattoo. A grotesque anatomical heart. The aubergine and crimson muscle was encased in root-like arteries that sprouted out the top like some kind of visceral tree. Three swords pierced the vessel, a visual representation of the past, present, and future. Dripping from the center sword, in time with the beating of my own heart, was a drop of aubergine-colored blood.
“As long as your heart beats, the enchantment will hold fast. Your memories are now sewn permanently into the very fabric of your soul.”
“James, are you okay? You passed out.” Kat turned to Tiger Lily. “Can we please get him something to drink?”
“Katherine, I’m fine. Just a little…disoriented.” I sat up, pinching the bridge of my nose. My head hurt, and my heart ached. I hadn’t taken into consideration how much of my childhood I had forgotten during the countless years I’d spent in Neverland. How much those memories would affect me here, now. I needed to dull their rawness and get my focus back on Peter. We still had a mission to accomplish before we left the village and Tiger Lily had made it effortless. “Maybe some mead… to clear my head?”
Katherine squeezed my hand in acknowledgment, keeping her face stoic.
“Guard!” Tiger Lily called out as she stood, straightening out her clothing. “Get Jas a bottle of my finest mead and see them on their way.” She reached for my hand and helped pull me to my feet. “Please forgive my quick exit. I have obligations on which to attend.”
“Thank you, Princess. I’m at your service, shall the need arise.”
“You haven’t said much about what happened today.” Katherine pushed as she added exactly five drops of the chartreuse poison to the bottle of Tiger Lily’s mead.
“What do you want me to say? It wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience. I relived every single moment of my life in a matter of mere minutes. I had forgotten the entirety of my childhood while here in Neverland for the first time. I didn’t even realize those memories were gone.”
“Did you remember things you would have preferred stayed lost?”
“Life is difficult and often shrouded in shadows, Katherine. You know this all too well yourself. But we must seek our darkness and revel in it, or we’ll never know where to shine the light. My journey has never been an easy one. It’s molded me into the man I am today. I will never regret my decision to protect my memories.”
“So… do you still want to deliver this bottle to Peter?”
I laughed maniacally. “Are you serious? Do you think I remembered something that would change my mind?”
“I mean, I guess it is possible that a memory shifted your thoughts.”
“I won’t rest until that ungrateful little shit is dead.”
“Do you think she fancies you?” Kat asked, completely changing the subject.
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Are you jealous? Of Tiger Lily?”
“I’m not jealous.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“She seemed awfully comfortable eyeing your ‘grown’ physique, is all.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and I loved it. “Tiger Lily does not interest me.” I made my way over to her, hugging her from behind and nuzzling in by her ear. My love for you is like no other.” I allowed my hands to wander over her delicious curves. “I only have eyes for you.”
Katherine spun around to face me. “This,” she grabbed my cock, “belongs to me. Only me.”
I growled at her possessiveness, and my cock stirred in appreciation. “Yes, it does. Shall we take it out and play with it?”
Katherine smiled. “I think we should deliver this mead to Peter before he consumes any more of our time together. When we return, I’ll remind you of why your cock loves me, too.”