18. Forsaken
“ Y ou!” I growled. The initial relief of seeing Katherine safe and unharmed was immediately replaced with a burning rage at seeing my old mentor seemingly well and resurrected from the dead.
“Ahh, James, you look surprised to see me.” He let out a sinister chuckle.
“Katherine, are you alright?” I asked, my eyes never leaving Teach. She looked unharmed, but Teach was good at hiding abuse, and not all wounds left physical marks. I needed reassurance she was well. “Are you hurt? Did this fucker hurt you?” My hand shifted to my cutlass, ready to gut the man if he’d harmed one hair on her head.
“I'm fine, James.” Her voice sounded despondent, sending a chill down my spine. Even her eyes looked vacant, staring right through me as I took a step toward her.
“What have you done to her?”
“I see balance has been restored, and you’ve finally paid the price for your disloyalty,” he started, dismissing my question as he gestured to the newly fitted hook. This derailed me from my chivalrous defense of Katherine and sent my mind reeling at the implications of his words. Was he the reason the Divine had taken my hand? Had this been the reason Tiger Lily had alluded to? I’d sworn fealty to him years ago, even allowed him to leave his brand on my skin. But my loyalty had withered and died as my love for Katherine grew. I hurried to mask my thoughts. There would be time for contemplation later. Now, I couldn’t afford to show this man any weakness.
“I’m growing rather fond of it,” I said, admiring the polished steel. “I consider it an upgrade. And it makes for a fetching moniker—Captain James Hook. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
“Says the mortal, who’s now only half a man.”
“You really are slipping in your old age,” I tsked as I rolled up my sleeves, ensuring he got a good glimpse of the tattoo that now covered his brand. “If you truly knew your enemy, you’d have known that I severed the ties of fealty to you long ago. I am far from being the mortal man you remember.” I settled the sharp point of the hook on my forearm, pausing for dramatic effect before dragging it across my skin, giving the steel its first taste of blood. A flicker of fear flashed across Blackbeard’s face as the warm trickle of aubergine blood ran down my arm.
“It doesn’t matter what blood magic you sold your soul for. I already own it. You can cover my brand all you want, but until I’m dead, your soul belongs to me. It’s over for you, Hook,” he hissed. “Honestly, you should let me end it now. It would be mercy. You’re a washed-up has-been. You can’t even defeat a young boy. And now… now your woman is about to leave your prick in the dirt.”
That was all I needed to push me over the edge. Edward and I had to settle this once and for all. The demon roared in my chest. I couldn’t see it for myself, but I knew my eyes glowed red. A manifestation of the burning hatred that consumed me.
I charged at him, a feral battle cry ripping from my lungs. I put my entire weight into the swing, using the momentum to land a devastating blow. It was impressive, even for my left hand. Immense pain radiated all the way to my shoulder, but it was worth it to watch Edward stumble across the deck, barely keeping himself upright. It took a moment for him to straighten himself. Saliva and thick, purple blood poured from his mouth, soaking into his infamous beard. He smiled wide, baring his bloodstained teeth before coming at me.
It all felt like a recurring nightmare. Only a day had passed since my fight with Pan. The only difference tonight was my opponent. But Teach had overestimated his odds. My men had gathered around the deck to watch the spectacle. Smee stood at the center, leaving the fight to me, but I knew he had my back. If I couldn’t manage to defeat him with one hand, they would finish the job for me.
I wanted to end this now, but his words plagued me. The idea of him with Katherine clouded my judgment. I couldn’t trust anything that fucker said, and yet an uneasy panic took up residence in my gut. Nothing was right about this moment. Visions of his hands on her consumed my every thought. Leaving me exposed and he exploited it with a vicious right hook, landing squarely on my jaw. The impact made my teeth rattle. The silver tang of blood filled my mouth. Any normal man, especially one with my affliction, would have alarm bells signaling impending doom, but for me, it only fueled the fire.
I charged him again, the two of us falling as the deck pitched and rolled beneath us. We grappled on the floorboards, each of us twisting and rolling in a desperate attempt to gain the upper hand. Blow for blow, we traded punches. Though I felt the impact, pain seemed to be a distant notion. The only thing that registered was the need to make Teach pay. Pay for the loss of my hand, for corrupting my soul, for whatever he’d done to Katherine. Fury raged inside me, knowing that she’d been in his hands the whole time I’d been searching for her. It hadn’t taken long for him to break her, and it was all my fault.
“Enough!” Katherine’s command cut through the chaos. My body stilled instantly as if I’d been cast in stone. The two of us were motionless, frozen in the midst of battle. We remained locked in place. The urge to fight drained from my body. Foreign magic crawled through my mind and altered my sentiments against my will. Only when the urge to fight had been smothered did the air around me calm, and my body became my own again. Teach and I untangled ourselves, and although I wanted him dead, I couldn’t bring myself to raise arms against him.
I got to my feet and stared at Katherine. She stood tall, with her shoulders pulled back. A vacant expression on her face. The same stoic mask she’d worn the first day I’d seen her as she marched toward the witch’s pyre. But it wasn’t only her outward expression that drew my attention. A new necklace hung beside the locket she always wore. A tiny, corked vial. Its contents emanated an ethereal light. It was clear that the swirling contents contained magic of some sort. I’d wager it was the same magic that had violated my mind only moments before. The mystery of Katherine’s disappearance continued to vex me. What had happened in the short time that I’d lost track of her? She was clearly different.
“Katherine, my love, I’m sorry for the way I’ve behaved. Please forgive me.”
She closed her eyes, deep lines cutting across her brow before she met my gaze. Shadows danced within her clouded emerald eyes. What I saw there wasn’t the soft, loving expression I’d grown accustomed to. It was harsh and menacing.
“James, I am no longer interested in your apologies.” Her words were bitter, triggering a shiver that ran up my spine and settled in my chest.
“Can we talk about this in private? I know I have some explaining?—”
“No, I’m not here to talk things over. I’ve only come to say goodbye.”
“Goodbye? What are you talking about? We had a fight, but we still love each other. Goodbye is a word that doesn’t exist between you and me,” I said with a nervous laugh, trying to diffuse the intensity of the situation.
“James, don’t make this harder than it needs to be. I’m leaving you. That’s all there is to it.”
It hit me like a punch in the gut. After all we’d been through, her words were devoid of emotion and completely callous as she dismissed the love we shared without a single tear. This wasn’t my Katherine. The woman before me was a mere shell. My heart raced as the knot of anxiety expanded in my chest.
“You don’t have to keep up this pretense. We have him outnumbered. He cannot hurt you again. I promise I’ll make him suffer for what he’s done to you.”
I took a step toward her, reaching out. Only for her to recoil from me, taking a hasty step backward and clutching the railing of the ship.
“Don’t touch me. You have to let me go.”
“Katherine, I don’t know what’s happened, but we can figure this out. Let’s go to our cabin. I’ll have Teach thrown in the brig so we can talk undisturbed,” I pleaded.
“Don’t make me do this, James.” She tore her eyes from mine, slamming them shut tightly as her face paled. She looked like she might be sick.
My anxiety catapulted me into full-blown panic. “What’s wrong? What’s he done to you?”
She stood silent for a moment, her eyes shut, clutching at the new necklace, the glowing light emanating from between her fingers. When she opened her eyes again and met mine, it was as if another person was looking back at me. Her emerald eyes had lost their luster, and a shadow of magic danced in the dark depths. Now, it was my turn to recoil.
“Your question is all wrong. You should be asking, what have you done to me? You’re the one who’s broken us.”
“That’s not true,” I countered. “All I’ve ever done is love you.” I was vaguely aware that we had an audience, but I didn’t care. Everything felt surreal—like the balance of my happiness hung on the outcome of this moment.
A sickly-sweet laugh escaped her lips. “You don’t love me. You don’t even know what love is. I was nothing more than a useful tool and a warm place to put your cock.”
My entire world was crumbling before my eyes. “I do love you. You know it’s true. I love you, and you love me,” I shouted, and it sounded like a command. I began to lose control of my emotions.
“When you love someone, you’re supposed to put them first. You’re supposed to sacrifice your own needs for theirs,” she paused for a moment, swallowing hard. “But I have never come first, have I, James? I’m second, and I always have been. Your true love is revenge.”
This was it. The turning point. I’d always thought that Katherine supported my mission. That she wanted to see me get the vengeance I deserved. All the while, I’d missed the signs. Missed the fact that my quest for revenge was costing me the one person who truly loved me.
“Oh, Katherine. I am sorry. I never?—”
“Stop. Stop that right now!” she cried, cutting off my apology. “You’re not the hero here. Your soul is dark. It’s corrupt. I can see it in your eyes. You told me once, and I should have believed you—you are the villain.”
Her words struck home. My heart stuttered in my chest. In the heat of passion, I’d shown her my darkness. But she was the one who was supposed to see whatever remnants of light remained.
“I can change. I’ll give it up. We can leave Neverland tonight.” I swallowed back the lump in my throat. “I’ll renounce my vendetta against Pan. I’ll rearrange fate. I’ll change everything that I have planned. I’ll do it all for you.”
She was shaking her head before I’d even finished my sentence. “All of it is a lie. You’re lying to me,” she shouted, her voice on the edge of hysteria.
“I’m not lying. I love you! I’m more sure of that than anything in my life. Can’t you see it in my eyes? Can’t you hear it in my voice?” I pleaded, my words quavering with the emotions I could no longer contain.
“What I hear is a desperate man. Poor James had a rough childhood, and somehow, the universe owes you something now? Grow the fuck up! You’re just as much of a child as Peter Pan. Everyone has been wronged in some way. You are not special. You need to get over yourself and move on with your life like the rest of us, just like I am doing now. Stop playing the victim. Life isn’t fair, and maybe me leaving you is exactly what needs to happen for you to realize that.”
I tried to swallow my anger, to convince myself that she didn’t mean what she was saying. She was trying to push me away, and it was working. My ego was flayed open. I had confided in her, told her all my deepest, darkest secrets, and she was weaponizing them against me.
“Kat, I—I don’t understand?—”
“This just isn’t our time, James. This isn’t the life where we get to love each other.”
“I refuse to believe that. You know it isn’t true.”
“I needed you to need me. To put me first. But you couldn’t. You’re incapable of love.”
A growl ripped from my lips. I wouldn’t let this go any further. I refused to let her continue down this path. My demon took over. Rage filled the hole that was burrowing into my heart. “I won’t let you leave me. I will chain you to my side until you come to your senses if I must.”
“Yet more evidence that you are the villain in this story. After all I’ve been through, you’d take away my freedom? For what? To ensure you can fuck me whenever you please? You would force a life upon me that I do not want?”
“So, what? You’re going to choose him over me?” I asked, gesturing to Teach, who stood watching with a smug grin on his face. “He’s treated you like property. Even if I’m as bad as you say, I’m still better than him.”
“You can’t tell me how to feel. At least with Edward, I know where I stand. I know what I’m getting myself into,” she said adamantly. Her hands trembled for a moment before she crossed them over her chest. “I. Do. Not. Want. You. Anymore! You must let me go.”
I sank to my knees, the wooden deck rising to meet me.
“No, Kat. Please.” I had been reduced to begging. A deep despair wormed its way into my breaking heart, eating me alive.
“You’re making a fool of yourself, James.”
“Please, please. Don’t leave me. We can make this work. I can be better. I can love you better. Please give me another chance.” Tears fell freely, wetting my cheeks, and I did not care that my men were witnessing me fall apart. The rest of the world had fallen away. Right now, it was only Katherine and me.
“I can’t. My heart can’t take it anymore. It has to end here.”
“What about mine? You’re ripping my heart out.”
Katherine ignored me. Fishing into the folds of her dress, she pulled out the Heart of the Divine. The flawless ruby glinted in the last vestiges of light as it sunk into a blood-red sunset.
“It doesn’t matter.” She shook her head. “Your heart is empty. There is no love there. It’s empty, just like this ruby.” She chucked the stone at me, the ruby landing solidly in my lap. A crack of thunder filled my ears and shook the air around us. All the pieces began to come together. Her curious words, the new relic around her neck. But my mind wouldn’t allow me to believe that she would have meddled with such power. My fingers shook as I held the stone up to the light to confirm what I was trying so hard to deny. The core, which had once swirled with an ethereal power, was now a simple spectrum of crimson. The magic was gone.
The skies opened, and the smell of petrichor filled my nostrils. Rain poured down all around us. “Katherine, what have you done?” My hand trembled as I held the useless relic. My eyes lifted, settling on the glowing magic that was now tied around her neck.
“A parting gift,” she said, fingering the delicate necklace. “The magic of the cosmos is the least I was owed for all that you’ve put me through. Edward, it’s time.” She motioned to Teach, and he sidled up to her, offering his arm. I winced as she wrapped her delicate fingers around him and reached up to kiss his cheek. “I think he finally understands where my loyalties lie. I’m done here. Take me away so I never have to lay eyes on him again.” She turned to look at me one last time, her haunting emerald eyes piercing through me. “Goodbye, James.” Her words dealt a death blow to my heart, and the useless organ stuttered and faltered in my chest until my vision spun. The pain was excruciating. I couldn’t move. The shackles of fate tightened around me. Forcing me to watch as she snapped her fingers and shimmered out of existence with my enemy by her side.
The woman I thought I loved, no longer existed. My tears mixed with the pouring rain, soaking me to the core. I was numb to everything except the decay that was spreading within me. It felt as though a part of my soul was dying, and I mourned for the woman I’d lost.
Maybe she was right, and revenge was my one true love because my only solace at that moment was that she hadn’t left me to become Pan’s mother. Katherine had seen me for who I truly was—a broken man. A villain in my own story. One who was not worthy of redemption. I remained on my knees, defeated in every way possible. The Divine had forsaken me.