Chapter 22 #2
“I said I’d learn who she is. The problem is, the more I learn, the greater desire I have to hold her secrets.”
“What has she told you?”
“Her life outside of here is still a mystery,” Theo began. “I was hoping she’d at least have knowledge of where her family was so we could send for them, but she doesn’t know.”
“What else?”
“Why do you care so much?” Theo shot at her.
He appreciated her desire to help but hated bringing her into it.
Going against their father was dangerous, and he didn’t want her to get wrapped up in his burdens.
Besides, she needed to occupy herself with training.
If she ever wanted to rid herself of her current life and become a soldier, she needed to prove herself.
“You’ve known the woman for all of a couple of weeks. ”
She balled her hands into fists, pulling back her shoulders. “She’s… It’s…” For once, she was at a loss. “She ran from her old life. She’s courageous and stands up to the duke and Bennet.”
“You admire her.”
“And you don’t? We need to protect her.”
Theo dragged his hand down his face and exhaled. “I’m trying, but she’s proving quite difficult to deal with.”
“She had the bravery to run away from all she knows. Where’s yours?” She stepped closer and sneered. It was now Theo who was at a loss. “What happened to Nate?” Adelaide’s words were sharper than the sword at her side. She might as well have taken her weapon and sank it into his chest.
His voice cracked. “Adelaide—”
She raised her hand. “No one will tell me. We received a missive of his death, but that was it.”
Theo’s head spun. He couldn’t do it. Not now…probably never. He’d fought the panic from his nightmare only an hour ago. He didn’t have the strength now to fend it off. He gripped the hilt of his dagger, dragging his thumb over the raised crest. I fight and I live.
“Did you know his sister ran away?” Adelaide’s voice droned in his ear.
Nate’s sister? Theo hadn’t seen Elizabeth in years. He’d heard she’d been sent to live with her aunt sometime during the war, but he hadn’t had the courage to find her or even write to her. Why would she run away?
“Their aunt sent the duke a letter after they received word of Nate’s death.
She said Elizabeth became inconsolable and left in the middle of the night.
Their family may never know what happened to her, but they deserve to know the truth about Nate.
You can continue to lie to the duke, Esaias, and even me, but quit lying to yourself.
” She paused for a breath. “When you came home and I saw you walk up those steps, I thought I’d finally have my brother back.
I knew you’d survive and come home because I needed you to.
You were the one person who believed in me and stood up for me.
” She fought tears. “But, Theo, I don’t think you came back at all. ”
Theo chased after her as she ran toward the western doors, to take her hidden trail down to the beach.
Everything was slipping through his fingers, pooling down his arms, even though he was holding his fingers together as tight as he could.
Adelaide was right. A part of him hadn’t come home.
Theo sucked in the sob waiting in his throat.
He was failing Adelaide. He’d failed Nate.
Adelaide gained distance, and Theo’s legs slowed their efforts.
The sting of the wind brushed aside the tears that had formed.
The breeze stirred through the grass, causing it to sway in the moonlight.
The sky was more beautiful than anywhere else.
He missed the ability to lie upon the sand and gaze for hours at the endless array of stars shining overhead.
He breathed in the briny taste of the bay, using it to briefly mend what he could of his cracked soul.
He didn’t want to deal with it all anymore.
Esaias had nearly died from an illness, of all things, after going into battle.
Adelaide was growing more distant every day, and his father still wouldn’t see her for who she truly was.
His best friend’s sister was missing. His mind was cracking, as if the small bits of his sanity were fraying away.
His realm was falling to pieces around him. He was tired of it.
A bouncing brown speck caught his eye in the distance.
Amaris was jogging through the garden toward the stables.
She was making a run for it. He’d left her alone several times now but didn’t think she’d attempt an escape.
She’d cured Esaias. Did she even know? When he told his father in the morning, it could end up in her favor. Why was she ruining it?
He’d remembered to lock her door. How had she escaped? His puffy eyes followed overhead and spotted the open window leading to her room. She was braver than he thought or just foolish. She’d stood against men who wished death upon her, and now she’d taunted death and had scaled out her window.
Theo took a breath to collect himself and ran after her, grasping his sword to keep it from alerting anyone to his presence.
She likely didn’t know about the guard patrolling the stables.
His knees ached as he raced down the steep dirt path, dust kicking up around him.
She slid through the rolling doors of the stables, allowing them to shut behind her.
As Theo drew near, footsteps came running around the corner. He dropped into the long grass, peeking through the tall blades to spot Alan running around the corner. This just became more challenging.
Theo would enter through the back entrance and grab Amaris before Alan had a chance to find her.
She was so close to her freedom. If his father found out, he’d send her back to the dungeons, or worse.
Theo couldn’t fathom what his father would do, whether he would hang her or send her to Elric Prison.
Theo shuddered at the mere thought. He’d been to Elric once, and it was enough to learn he never wished his worst enemy to be forced to spend even a night there.
He slipped inside, closing the door behind him without a sound. A banging ensued down a few stalls, and Amaris made a desperate attempt to hush the horse.
She’s terrible at this. Theo heard the forbidding roll of the stable doors and Alan’s daunting steps as he followed the chaotic sounds. Amaris darted around the corner. Theo hid in an empty stall, waiting to grab her as she came closer.
“Hello?” Alan shouted.
Her feet shuffled a few stalls down, and her breaths panted at an alarming pitch.
Each crunch brought Alan closer. Hairs pricked along Theo’s skin as Amaris inched closer to the stall.
One more step. He reached outside the stall and grabbed her around the mouth and waist. Dragging her back, he pulled a discarded blanket over them to further hide in the darkness.
She struggled against his hold, her nails drawing blood from his arm.
“Don’t make a sound,” he whispered in her ear.
She froze. Her hair tickled the tip of his nose. He was thankful for her signature scent of vanilla instead of the stench of the dirty horse blanket. Alan’s steps drew closer.
Through a hole in the blanket, he spotted Alan staring down the row of stalls, his daggers drawn. Theo pulled Amaris closer as he felt her fighting the urge to squirm in his arms. Alan released a sigh and retreated. His footsteps quieted and the rolling of the doors rang through the stables.
Theo tossed off the blanket and released her. “What are you doing?” He brushed past her, reaching for the nearest lantern. With his flint and steel, the candle flickered to life, growing brighter as he swung the lantern toward her. “Were you planning on stealing a horse?”
“No,” she stammered, crossing her arms over her chest as she bit her lower lip.
“This is a poor escape attempt. You won’t make it by yourself.”
“What do you mean by that? I’m a capable woman,” she shot back at him.
Theo refrained from grabbing her arm and dragging her back to the manor. “I never said you weren’t capable,” he replied as he directed her toward the back entrance. “Have you even thought any of this through? Esaias’s fever broke, and his rash is gone.”
“Good for him,” she said, but then scoffed. “And I have thought this through, and I’m leaving tonight. I’m not staying another night in this damn prison.”
She had no idea what a real prison was like. One where a person was thrown into the dark and all they heard were the screams echoing through the halls, never knowing which day would be their last.
“You aren’t leaving, not tonight,” Theo said.
Alan was a close enough call as it was. Ward and Gris were also on patrol, and Ward wouldn’t take his post lightly. Theo had caught a few younger soldiers falling asleep toward the twilight end of their shifts. Ward would be stalking through the night, catching any bit of movement beyond the walls.
“I’m not listening to you. You’ve done nothing but lie to me.”
Theo closed the door behind them as she stepped toward the edge of the woods. “Lie to you?”
“Don’t play dumb with me,” she seethed, her teeth baring as she jabbed a finger into his chest. The woods behind her were a menacing shadow at her back.
“I heard you tell Adelaide your father has ordered you to get to know me on a personal level. Is that why you’ve been nice to me all of a sudden, telling me you don’t think I’m the murderer? You’ve been playing with me.”
She’d been the one hiding in the alcove.
“Amaris, you were never meant to hear that.”
“Save it,” she snapped. Navy pools darkened her irises, ripping away all the light. She threw her hands against his chest, shoving him into the wall as she ran around the corner.
“Amaris,” Theo whispered urgently after her. Alan could still be lurking.
“Go to hell!”
Theo never understood half her insults, but with the emphasis she put into them, she meant to wound. Theo sprinted after her, grabbing her by the waist.
“Put. Me. Down.”
He covered her mouth and carried her toward the kitchen.
“If you don’t keep quiet, someone will find you and throw you in the dungeons,” Theo said into her ear, not bothering to lighten his tone. He tore open the kitchen doors and threw her inside, shutting them behind him.
Tears streaked her face, ones of anguish. She could hate him all she wanted, but he wouldn’t have an innocent woman condemned.
“You’re no different from your father or Bennet, you bastard.” Her voice cracked. “I can handle myself.”
“You almost got yourself caught. You have no idea where the sentry stations are, do you?” he scolded.
She didn’t balk but instead pulled her shoulders back and clenched her hands into fists. She was the most stubborn person he’d ever dealt with.
“I have everything figured out.”
“Do you?” he shouted, his hand dragging through his hair. “Because it looks like you’re making this up as you go. There are guards stationed all throughout the grounds. You never would’ve made it beyond the wall.”
“I’ve escaped one prison. What’s another?” she blurted out. Her hand instantly slapped against her mouth. All traces of anger dissipated. Her shoulders dropped, and the navy flakes in her eyes dispersed.
Theo’s gaze sharpened on her. “You…what?”
“Fuck, not an actual prison,” she said, throwing her hands over her eyes.
“It’s a figure of speech.” She stumbled back into the wooden countertop.
Her head whipped as if she was expecting the black cabinetry to be someone waiting to drag her away.
She turned to race out of the kitchen, but Theo grabbed her hand, pulling her back.
“You escaped a prison?”
Amaris pressed her hands against his chest, her eyes once again glistening with tears. “Forget I said anything. Let me go back to my room.”
“Tell me.” Theo’s voice came out in a growl.
She wiggled from his hold and scrambled back, her hands flat against the red brick of the hearth set into the wall. She slid along it, her hands pressed against the masonry as her breaths grew shallow.
“Please,” she cried, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Forget it, please.”
“Does he hurt you?”
She pulled her satchel to her chest, her eyes darting toward the hall. “Leave Derek out of this.”
“I’m not stupid, Amaris,” Theo snipped. “Does he hit you?”
“You don’t know anything about me or my life!”
She darted out of the kitchen, but Theo couldn’t find the ability to run after her. He crumpled to the floor, his legs giving out. His cheek pressed into the cupboard as he leaned against it to keep his bearings. He choked out a breath, digging his nails into his palms.
What is wrong with me? He was an animal, the monster slipping from where it was buried inside him. The war was over. There wasn’t a threat. He was no better than Bennet or his father demanding that information from her.
His body trembled. His sanity further slipped through his fingers, unraveling the stitch in his mind. The man he used to be was only a hollow shell, and he didn’t think anything left in the realm existed to mend what had been ripped from him.