Chapter 23
Amaris
Amaris’s heart raced against the wind biting at her cheeks.
She could hardly breathe. Her throat was dry and burning against the warm air.
She panted, but a powerful surge continued to propel her forward, whispering to her to keep running.
She followed its command without question and no fault.
All that surrounded her was darkness, but her feet kept moving until she blinked.
The scene shifted before her eyes, distorting the world around her in a watery haze.
She stopped abruptly, nearly causing her to fall and skid across the pavement.
She whirled in circles. A road, a real asphalt road.
Even through the rippling vision, she knew she was on her street, only a few blocks from her house.
She sprinted home, her arms pumping at her sides.
A smile spread across her face as the front porch light flickered against the night.
Her heart was about to leap from her chest.
“Derek!” she shouted and didn’t care if it woke the neighbors. She didn’t care what time it was or who would hear her. She was home.
Derek’s head popped out with widened eyes, and his lips parted in a gasp.
The rickety porch bowed beneath his weight.
His hair had grown, and stubble scattered his face in a rugged beard.
She wanted to leap into his arms and kiss that beautiful face, feel his arms hold her as she told him she was sorry for running away.
“Derek, I’m home!”
She wiped her eyes, but her vision still held the murkiness. Her feet bounded up the steps to embrace him. She closed her eyes, waiting for their bodies to become one, but she was met with the hard ground as she slammed into the hardwood foyer.
“Amaris?” he shouted, sounding muffled.
She rolled onto her back, propping up on her elbows. “Derek,” she whispered, unable to comprehend what was happening. He towered over her. “Can you not see me?”
With defeat in his eyes, he came back into the house, ramming his shoulder into the door to get it to close. He sulked past her into the living room, where clothes were discarded across the couch and empty takeout boxes piled on the floor.
I’m dreaming. Reality caved.
Amaris’s body ached from the tumble, but she picked herself up to follow him.
Something crunched beneath her boot. She pulled back to find a shard of glass.
It was all over the foyer and scattered into the carpet.
Her eyes followed its trail. Where their coffee table used to be was a pile of splintered wood and larger chunks of glass.
She swallowed the lump forming in her throat.
She scanned the living room, assessing the damage as she navigated the disaster. Empty bottles of scotch and beer cans littered the side table shoved into the corner. Her vision faded around the edges like her world was tunneling.
Her hand hovered over the swinging door. The last time she’d passed through it, her heart had been cleaved in two. She bit her lip, debating whether to open it again. Theodoric had seen the signs before she’d recognized them herself. With a single mark and a name, he knew what had happened.
Amaris reached out to open the door, but her hand passed through.
With a single breath, she stepped into the kitchen.
Derek leaned against the counter in his usual stance beside the sink, swirling the scotch in his glass.
She expected her feet to carry her to the fridge for a beer, to jump on the counter, but she didn’t move.
She was glued to the entrance of the kitchen, forced to watch from the outside as the fight that ruined her life unfolded again.
Derek’s phone rang, startling her.
“What do you want?” he snapped, the veins in his arms puffing out.
“I told you to take care of it.” An inaudible voice whispered on the other end, and Derek’s brows furrowed.
“That bitch is crazy. Why the fuck are you dicking around?” He grasped the edge of the counter, throwing back the remainder of his glass.
Amaris was thankful it was only a dream, and she couldn’t breathe in the nauseating scent of his scotch.
“Because if I go near her, I lose my job! You owe me this.” He hung up the phone and tossed it on the counter.
Amaris jumped as it skidded to a halt against the fridge.
A knock thudded on the door, and Derek bounded toward it. He passed through her, and an icy sting surged through her. It brought her to her knees.
“What the fuck!” Derek shouted.
Each movement was excruciating, but she pulled herself up. It wasn’t unfolding like she thought. Something was wrong. Her body passed through the door, becoming transparent, as if she were a ghost in her own home.
“I told you we aren’t through!” Viv’s voice rolled through the house.
Amaris ran for the hall and tripped, falling through the recliner in the living room. Crawling the rest of the way to the entry hall, she poked her face over the edge of the carpet.
“Get off my property, Viv.” Derek reached behind his back, gripping the gun in his waistband.
Her heart caught in her throat, but she couldn’t move. Her body was pinned to the ground.
“Where’s Mar?” Viv snapped.
“You’re fucking crazy.” His fingers flipped off the safety, but he kept the gun poised behind him.
“I found her phone, and a video recorded the whole thing. I know she went into those woods, and it recorded you later that night. Where is she!” Viv’s chest heaved and sweat dripped from her brow. She wasn’t even wearing any makeup, which wasn’t like her.
“Give it to me,” Derek seethed.
“You think I brought it with me?” She smirked. “I gave it to your sergeant. He watched the whole thing.”
“I didn’t find her in those woods!”
“You’re lying! I know what goes on in this house. Mar may have kept her secrets, but I grew up with a shitty-ass mother and know what it’s like to live with someone like you.”
“Fuck you!” He slammed the door. It creaked as it hit Viv’s boot, not even making a dent in her steel toe.
Amaris closed her eyes. What kind of nightmare is this? She wanted to wake up and didn’t care if it was in that cell, the mystique tower, or that uncomfortable bed. She needed to be rid of this dream.
Derek shoved the door against the wall, drawing his gun and aiming the barrel at Viv’s head. “You don’t deserve to live,” Derek spewed, his hateful words ringing through Amaris’s ears. It wasn’t him. “You’re nothing.”
Viv fought back, her fists balling at her sides. She stepped over the threshold, pressing her forehead against the gun. “Do it,” she raged, lightning arcing across her eyes.
§
Amaris curled into a ball, forcing herself not to close her eyes but to stare at the last dying embers of the fire as her nightmare flickered behind her eyelids. Her back was still slick with sweat and tears clung to her cheeks. Derek and Theodoric’s voices jumped in tandem in her head.
Does he hit you?
You’re nothing.
After her fight with Theodoric, she’d run to her room to find it locked, forgetting she’d escaped through the window. She stumbled to the mystique tower, where she’d thrown herself onto the cot and fought through the night against the nightmare severing her existence.
The tower door opened, and a pair of footsteps crossed the room. They stopped at one of the chairs seated across from her. Theodoric’s shallow sigh threatened to send her spiraling. She refused to meet his gaze, but her tear-stricken face was laid bare for him to see.
Her heart ached, shredding in two as the perfect image of her future disintegrated behind her eyes. Derek hit her. The one man she’d trusted with everything in her life hit her. Her mind sought to show her by conjuring up the worst-case imaginable—Derek threatening Viv.
“Amaris,” Theodoric began.
I don’t want to talk. She turned her head toward the far wall. Not about last night, about Derek, her life. She was done.
“I only want to help.” His stern voice was gone, replaced by the voice of that small boy who’d kneeled before her in the hallway.
“I didn’t ask for it,” she snipped.
“I can’t entirely help myself,” he breathed, attempting what he could at peace.
But I don’t want peace.
Amaris sat up, whipping her braid over her shoulder as she glared at him with swollen eyes and snot dripping down her nose.
“Then, you better learn to.” Her world had imploded.
The one person in her life who loved her struck her.
Every fight spun through her mind, every insult, and every flinch at the wave of his hand.
“Do you wish to not be protected? Should I let you try another escape attempt?”
“You’re the reason I’m here in the first place!” she shouted.
He slid his hand down his face. “You’re insufferable at times, you know that?”
“I’m insufferable!” Fiery rage simmered below her skin.
“Why don’t you take a good look in the mirror, buddy?
You’re the one who’s demanding, controlling, and can’t seem to keep his nose out of other people’s business!
” Amaris ground her teeth, scrunching her lips together. “If you would have let me run—”
“I apologize for how I treated you when we first met, for bringing you here, and not listening to you, but I won’t apologize for last night. You would’ve been caught if it wasn’t for me.”
Amaris stood, frustration, fear, anger, everything fueling her movements as she jabbed her finger at him. “You owe me a huge apology for last night.” She narrowed her eyes into thin slits. “You were out of line.”
He stood from the chair. He was huge, almost a foot taller than her. Burly shoulders and strong hands. Her body wanted to cower, but she forced herself not to tremble. He stepped closer until her nail pressed against his chest. His hand encircled her finger.
This is it. He was going to yank her hand back and dislocate her shoulder. He’d slap her across the face and apologize and blame it on the scotch.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Amaris balked.
“I’m sorry, Amaris,” he whispered again as he released her finger. He lifted his hand, hovering over her cheek. His thumb brushed along her cheekbone, taking away a line of tears.
The door slammed open, and Bennet stormed the tower with a vicious smirk.
Another figure emerged. It was the monstrous man from the riding party with dark and beady eyes—Gerard.
Amaris had steered clear of him since that first day.
He was larger than both Theodoric and Bennet, and she couldn’t imagine what would happen if he got one of his gigantic hands around her neck.
Instinctively, she put distance between them until her back was against the far wall.
Bennet stalked closer, but Theodoric shifted in front of her.
The impending doom circled around her. They know I tried to escape.
“What do you want?” Theodoric asked, using his soldier voice.
“It would seem she’s struck again,” Bennet growled.
Theodoric inched back until his warmth and scent of brine and worn leather overpowered Amaris’s other senses.
She peered over his shoulder. “What are you talking about?” she asked.
Bennet stopped at the worktable as he gave the room a look of pure disgust. “One of my men was found dead in his bed,” he snapped. “Scrying fever.”
It wasn’t about the escape attempt. Theodoric grabbed ahold of her, keeping her behind him as he pressed his back against her.
“We didn’t know of another case of scrying fever. We would have made a tonic.” Theodoric said. “She cured Esaias.”
“The man is dead due to her negligence, and she’ll pay for it,” Bennet threatened.
Amaris’s chest wrapped tight around her heart and lungs. She held onto Theodoric’s back, scrunching the fabric into a ball as she steadied herself. “I…I didn’t know,” she said, but every bit of courage was gone. Someone died.
“This isn’t Amaris’s fault,” Theodoric growled.
“Step aside, Theodoric,” Bennet ordered. “Gerard will be taking her to the dungeons.”
“No,” Theodoric snapped. “Not until my father gives that order.”
“Step aside,” Bennet repeated.
Theodoric held his stance. “We will speak with my father first.”
“Gerard,” Bennet barked.
Instantly, Theodoric set into action. His fists slammed into Gerard’s jaw, spewing blood across the floor.
“Don’t,” Amaris said, grabbing Theodoric by the arm and attempting to hold him back, but he pulled from her grasp.
He moved on Gerard with his fists as if on instinct. With blood dripping from his lip, Gerard retaliated and delivered a blow to Theodoric’s abdomen. His grunt filled the tower. He hunched forward, leaning against a chair and gasping for breath.
“Stop!” Amaris screamed, but Gerard sent his fist into Theodoric’s face with a loud crunch. He fell back with a groan and grabbed his nose. Blood leaked between his fingers. “Please, stop!”
Theodoric tried to get up but was too late. Bennet came up behind Amaris. She didn’t hear or see him move, but he had his dagger pressed against her neck.
“This ends now,” he yelled.
Amaris eyed Theodoric, begging him to stay down. Why had he jumped in for her, risked himself to protect her?
Gerard rolled up his sleeves, and his monstrous legs took a thundering step toward Theodoric.
“I’ll go with you!” Amaris shouted.
Bennet sneered at her but grabbed a tighter hold of her arm and led her toward the steps. They stopped at the threshold, and Bennet turned to Theodoric. He was using the chair to get himself off the floor, panting and spitting blood.
“Clean yourself up and be in your father’s study in twenty minutes.”
Bennet shoved Amaris through the doorway and carted her off through the manor.
He took odd hallways, tighter ones she’d never passed through.
She didn’t dare fight him with his dagger pressed against her back as they walked.
Gerard followed in tow behind them. Amaris took deep breaths to prevent the meltdown waiting behind the mask she’d thrown up and clung to with every last fraying fiber of her sanity.
They stepped out into the misty morning with a few raindrops pelting from above. The bay was a gloomy sight, and each daunting step down the dungeon stairs sucked the life from her. He threw her in the same cell and locked the door behind her, but there wasn’t the flicker of a candle anymore.
Amaris was left to what little light shown through the bars in the never-ending pit of darkness threatening to pull her to the verge of tears.