Chapter 25
Rowan
Caelan had me pushed against the back of the door to the baths before I even had a chance to catch my breath. His lips pressed against mine in desperation. At the back of my mind, there was a niggle, and I broke the kiss to send a thought through my bond.
Brother, if you can hear me right now, then I suggest you make yourself scarce, or you are going to get a whole lot more intimate with Caelan than you want to.
Oh, for fu—
I ignored him, my attention returning to Caelan and the delicious things he was doing to my neck. “I want you,” I breathed. “I need you. Now.”
Desire pooled in my belly, igniting from the embers he had stoked earlier with the kiss under the tree.
Flames radiated up my spine as his lips captured mine again.
The low growl he made in his throat as my words registered further invoked my want.
I tried to climb his body, tried wrapping my legs around his waist, so he hoisted me up against the door, his hands moving under my skirt to hold me in place.
When he encountered my bare arse, he groaned. “Gods, Rowan, are you trying to kill me?” Pulling back, he looked at me, his eyes burning with his own need. Storms clouds just waiting to erupt. Moving his hand forward, his fingers lightly traced through my slick moistness.
I moaned.
“You’re so wet,” he said huskily.
If I wasn’t already consumed by my need for him, I would have found the remark funny, considering we were both soaked through. My only response, though, was to push myself against his hand, a silent request for more.
Gripping the back of his neck, I pulled his face back to mine, capturing his mouth again.
My frenzied motions spurred him on, and I felt him unravel the laces on his pants.
He broke the kiss again and I nearly moaned in frustration, until he pushed that soft head between my folds, the tip bumping against my entrance.
“Is this what you want, little bird?”
“Yes. Yes.” I barely recognised the words. Barely recognised my voice.
Slowly, ever so slowly, his eyes never leaving mine, he fed himself in, inch by inch by inch.
The furnace in my body ratcheted up a notch with every breathtaking movement, and when he was finally buried to the hilt, he leant his forehead against mine and just breathed.
A warmth spread through my chest at the look of reverence on his face.
My hips moved of their own accord, snapping him out of whatever was holding him in place.
He started to pump. At first slow, then slamming into me so hard the door rattled against my back.
I met him thrust for thrust. His movements were near feral, as if he were worried it would be our last time together and not only the first.
The sound that came out of me was one I had never heard before. A breathy sort of moan that felt like it had come up from the depths of my soul. I wrapped my legs tighter around him, holding on, as a throbbing ache started up at the junction of my thighs.
He was kissing me again, and a rush of warmth pooled inside of me. “I won’t need long,” he panted.
Me neither.
I nodded, unable to speak. He thrust into me hard, angling my hips as my back hit the door.
His thick length stretched me with a delicious burn, and before I could even catch a breath, he pulled out and did it again.
His arms banded under my thighs as he plunged into me harder and harder. The heat I craved rushed through me.
“More,” I moaned. “Again.”
His thrusts became frenzied at that, and that pressure intensified. Building. Building. Building. Stretching towards that inevitable finale. He must have felt it too, as he shifted a hand and pressed his thumb to my throbbing bundle of nerves.
Come for me, little bird. Fly for me.
I flew. Shattering apart, until I was a million pieces coasting through the air.
I vaguely sensed him following me, my name reverberating around the room, but I was done.
Could only count the stars in the sky as they floated on by.
My body turned to liquid, and I languished in his embrace as my mind drifted.
Slowly, the roar of the waterfall trickled in. The warm moisture coating my skin registered, and a moment later my eyes jolted open, latching onto his.
He stiffened.
“Rowan,” he said. “I can explain.” His voice was edged with urgency.
The words he had spoken still echoed in my mind. That voice was one I knew. One I recognised immediately. One that haunted my dreams. Dreams that had begun before I even came here.
I pushed against his chest, unlocking my legs from around his waist, and slid down the door, nearly falling when my feet touched the ground.
“You spoke in my head,” I said. “And… and you’ve spoken to me before. In my dreams. I don’t understand.”
He reached for me, desperation clear on his face, but I pushed against him, flattening my back against the door.
His shoulders curled and his arm fell to his side.
Closing his eyes, he let out a long exhale before looking at me again.
“I’m a Dream Walker,” he said. “I have the ability to walk in others’ dreams. It is my gift. ”
His gift?
“But… but you’re not fae.”
“I know. We don’t know why,” he said, stepping back and fixing his pants. I frowned at him. “I’ve always had the ability, ever since I can remember. I used to wander into your brother’s dreams all the time when we were younger, until I learnt to control it.”
Legs steady again, I moved away, putting a little distance between us.
He frowned upon noticing, but I ignored it.
Instead, I tried to recall all the times that voice – his voice – had been in my dreams. What had I been dreaming about?
I couldn’t recall, not right now. Could remember the sound, but not the words. Then another thought occurred to me.
“You’ve spoken in my head when I was not dreaming. When I was in the Mystwoods. You told me to run. What about then? You said… you said you didn’t know I was going to be there,” I whispered, the sting of his lies planting seeds of doubt in me.
He looked at me as if debating what to say.
“Just tell me!” I yelled. “And stop lying to me! I can’t… I just can’t!” I turned away angrily.
“I did lie,” he admitted. “I knew you would be there. Had felt you getting closer through our bond. I was willing to go through to retrieve you if you didn’t show.
When you stepped into the realm and I sensed you in the woods, I nearly wept.
But then I heard the cullach and felt a fear I’d never felt before.
I ran so fast. Faster than I had ever run in my life.
All the while hoping the Mystwoods would not swallow me up, would not take me away when I had only just found you.
And when I saw you fall…” He rubbed his chest as if it pained him.
“I thought I was too late.” His voice had quietened to a whisper, thick with anguish.
“Our bond?” I whispered back, my anger receding slightly. “What bond?”
“We are soul bonded, you and I. Surely you have felt it. I’ve felt it my entire life and knew it was you. It was always going to be you, Rowan.”
That place deep inside of me, the one where I felt Aenan’s twin bond, thrummed as if in recognition of his words.
Closing my eyes, I felt for it. Reached for it with invisible fingers.
And then I saw it, shivering in anticipation of finally being noticed.
A golden sphere of light, so bright I didn’t know how I hadn’t seen it before now.
Warmth burst forth, exploding in my chest. It was as if it had been hiding away. Waiting.
Waiting for this moment to shine.
Waiting for this moment to show itself to me.
Lightly, I rang my fingers down its smooth surface, and Caelan hummed, deep within his throat. When I opened my eyes again, I watched him as I did it once more. His face blanked before filling with a tenderness that made me feel just a little unsure.
“Rowan?” he pleaded, stepping closer.
But I moved away again. “I… I think I need some time,” I said, betrayal darkening my thoughts.
His face fell, but he gathered himself quickly and stepped to the side, allowing me to move past him. When I reached the threshold, the doorknob in my hand, I whispered to him, the words falling over my shoulder.
“You should have told me.”
My thoughts tumbling, I returned to my room, gnawing at my bottom lip. It wasn’t so much that we were soul bonded. That was not what concerned me.
What played on my mind was that he had deliberately chosen not to tell me.
Had outright lied to me to conceal it. Had he just been playing me this whole time?
He’d admitted he was the one in my dreams, calling me forward, that he had known about me his entire life.
He’d admitted he had lied, but had not given me the reason why.
Was he lying about anything else?
How could I trust him?
Everything within me told me I could. But was that just the bond between us, pulling us together? I reached inside myself again, seeking out that golden glow in my chest. It still blazed brightly.
I had so many questions. So many doubts. So many fears.
All my life I had been sheltered. By my parents.
By my aunt. I’d asked them questions too, but they had only lied to me.
Over and over and over again. If only they had told me the truth from the start about who I was and where I had come from.
It may have saved me so much grief and pain. Saved me from feeling like I did now.
Betrayed. Confused.
I would have to talk to him about it. I knew that. It was unavoidable, especially since I was stuck here, unable to leave for at least a few more months. But did I want to stay longer? I had been beginning to think I did. But now…
My mind drifted back to all the dreams I had been having. Even the ones since I had arrived. All the dreams that had featured him. Had that actually been him? Had he walked in my dreams, every single time? The bath. His bed. The daydream on the lawn.
The things we had done. The things we had said.
My eyes widened. Had he been aware of my feelings all this time and not said anything?
Stripping out of my wet clothes, I crawled into my bed, closing my eyes. I couldn’t think of it anymore. It was giving me a headache. Closing my eyes, I desperately sought the oblivion of sleep, wishing with everything I had that I did not dream.
I was dreaming. I knew I was dreaming, as it was one I’d had before. One I fantasised about when I needed a release. I had a feeling my subconscious mind had deliberately selected this dream in order to tease me with what I could not have.
I quaked at the presence of a body moving in behind me. His body. I knew that now. His hardness pressed against me, and for just a moment I allowed myself to relax into his embrace. Allowed him to palm my breast and nibble at my ear.
“This is one of my favourite dreams,” I told him.
“Mine too,” he said. “But if I recall, I get to just about here…” His hand slid down to the junction of my thighs, but I stepped forward, pulling away. “And you wake up…” He trailed off.
I turned and stared at him, my gaze trailing over his bare chest, mesmerised by the tautness of his muscles.
Each contour rippling beneath the surface of his skin, begged for my touch.
His broad shoulders radiated power. I let my eyes fall to his defined abdomen, my fingers twitching with the need to touch, to follow the line of dark hair that disappeared into his pants.
His body was a landscape of desire waiting to be explored.
Feeling his eyes on me, I looked back up, just as a smile crossed his face. He repeated the same words he’d said in that other dream.
“Like what you see, darling?”
I didn’t deign to answer.
“Rowan?” he said, stepping towards me, looking at me with confusion.
I shook my head. “I’m not doing this. Not right now. Not again. Not until we talk.”
He remembered then. I saw it. Saw the way his features hardened and his eyes dulled. It was like he had blocked it out, but it all suddenly came back. He nodded and stepped back, putting more distance between us. The edges of the room grew grey and fuzzy. He eyed them, his eyes solemn.
“We’ll talk tomorrow?” he asked.
I nodded at him slowly, then woke myself up.