CHAPTER SEVEN
I’m going to break his stick in half
VANESSA
Do you ever have something that instantly triggers a bad memory?
Well, for me it’s the word sunshine . I’ve hated the nickname for as long as I can remember.
When I was in high school, I had a boyfriend named Matt who didn’t like to use basic pet names like baby, babe, or honey. He preferred using the word sunshine. He said it was because I was warm and reminded him of summertime.At the time, I thought that it was sweet that he wanted to use a special term of endearment for me. That is until I heard him calling out that name while hooking up with my best friend.
I remember the words as if he spoke them yesterday. “ Sunshine, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. It was a mistake, I’m drunk, and she looks just like you. Sunshine, please, please forgive me.”
Sunshine.
Sunshine.
Sunshine.
From then on, I hated the word. And now Jake Shepherd has used it twice in the past two minutes and I’m ready to rip my hair out.
I knew working with a group of guys would be different from anything I’ve done before; I just didn’t think that it would be so aggravating from the get-go.Jake’s cocky smirk is embedded into my brain and it’s all I can think about. He thought he was so clever and funny, thinking of a nickname for me. But little does he know the name just fuels a fire inside of me.
I know I was a bit grumpy, and the irony isn’t lost on me. I may have been a little cold toward him, but to be fair, I had just gotten off the phone with my mother, who let me know that she and my father wouldn’t be flying down to see me for my birthday. Instead, they planned a trip with their friends to go to Paris.
I mean, am I shocked?
No.
We don’t see a lot of each other, especially since I’m in another state. I’ll fly home for the holidays or during spring break, but they’re both usually too preoccupied with work. When I do go home, it feels like I’m there to visit the city and not my family.
The past few years have been harder on our relationship. I think it has something to do with me becoming more independent and not following their life plans for me anymore. At least on my birthday they try to make an effort to see me—or I guess they used to.
Since I’ve been in college, they would travel to Boston and bring me to a fancy restaurant and give me an expensive gift I didn’t want nor ask for. It seems like now that I’m getting older, they don’t seem to care as much.
When I was in high school, I thought having careless parents was a blessing. They never gave me a curfew and didn’t care who I hung out with as long as my grades never dipped below an A.Looking back on it now, I wish they would’ve spent a little more time with me. If only they would give up on this idealistic daughter that they’ve created in their heads and accept me for who I am.
I highly doubt that will ever happen. As soon as I started growing out of the mold they wanted me to fit into, they lost all interest.It seems that the older I get, the less interested they become with my life.When I got accepted into BCU for journalism, my parents weren’t exactly thrilled. My mom thought that my photography hobby was just a phase and that as soon as I graduated high school, I would be set on the straight and narrow path they so carefully carved for me.
Their idea of a perfect life for me is to be majoring in political science or business, dating a successful man, and eventually fulfilling my family’s incredibly high standards. Unfortunately, I crushed their idea of that life. I can still remember their disappointing faces when I told them that I was studying journalism.Mom threw a fit like a child and didn’t speak to me for days.
I wonder how they’ll take the news that I’m working with a hockey team for a social media class. That alone might be enough to give my mom a heart attack.
Sydney, Maddie, and I made the executive decision to skip our morning classes today and reward ourselves with a delicious sugary breakfast.
We arrive at the pancake house off campus, and it’s packed with other college students trying to get a bite before class.
“Follow me, ladies.” Our hostess grabs three menus and leads us toward our table. She seats us at a small booth near the front of the restaurant and places our menus in front of us. I don’t even need to look to know that I’ll be getting the s’mores pancakes. It’s one of their most popular items on the menu and I get it anytime we come here. Something about marshmallow fluff and chocolate chip pancakes in the morning just feels right. I always pair it with an iced latte, and oh boy, I’m in heaven.
Our waitress comes by our table with some water and lets us know she’ll be back in a moment to take our order.
“I’m stuck between the French toast and the western omelet,” Maddie says.
“You’re always stuck between those two. Get the French toast. Every time you get the western omelet you always steal bites of my pancakes!” I tell her.
Maddie is like me; we bond over our love for chocolate and sweets. Anytime we go out for breakfast, she chooses a savory option knowing I’ll cave and give her pieces of whatever I ordered.
“True.” She laughs and places her menu on top of mine, almost as a signal to the waitress that we’re ready to order. Sydney is staring at the menu like it’s a pop-up quiz.
“What are you gonna get, Syd?” I ask.
She looks up at me about to answer, when her gaze quickly falls behind me.
“Oh, I want to order one of him, please.” She smirks and points behind us.
Maddie and I turn around to see who she’s referring to. Before I can even register his face, Jake breaks out in the widest smile I’ve seen and makes his way over to our table.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
Can I not go one day without seeing him?
He takes off his hat to readjust his hair. I feel mesmerized by the action. The soft brown waves are pushed back before he puts the baseball cap back on—backward. Ugh, that’s so hot.
No. No, it’s not hot. He’s just some cocky athlete who likes to get on my nerves, even though he makes my insides melt when he smiles at me like that.
Jake squats down beside our table, the movement causing his jeans to grow tight at his thighs, it looks as if he’s made out of marble.
Oh God, Vanessa avert your eyes before he notices you staring.
I move my eyes back up only to be met with a knowing smile. Shit, I’m caught.
“All right, Nichols, this is just uncanny now. Are you following me?”
“Jakey, you would love that, wouldn’t you?” I watch as he winces at the nickname I give him. Not the greatest, but it’s the best I could come up with on the spot. “Trust me, if I would’ve known that you’d be here, I would’ve skipped breakfast.”
He holds his hand to his chest like I’ve stabbed him. “Ouch. That hurt, sunshine.”
I had a feeling he was going to call me that again.
I roll my eyes in his direction. “What would it take for you to stop calling me that?”
“That’s a dangerous question, Nichols.” He winks at me, and Sydney kicks my leg under the table. She’s living for this.
One of his teammates, Kieran I believe, comes up and grabs Jake by the arm. He glances at Maddie quickly and I swear she gives him the smallest smile. It barely lasts a second before they both move their attention back to Jake.
“C’mon, Jake, leave the girl be.”
Jake sighs and picks himself up. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around, sunshine.” With that last remark, he smiles at me again and leaves with his teammate.
And just like that, I no longer have an appetite for pancakes.
The rest of the week flies by and suddenly it’s Friday night and it’s the Wolves’ first game of the season. As their new social media coordinator, I have to attend every home and away game.
Luckily for me, I have two amazing best friends who are willing to attend every game on campus. I get access to the locker room before and after the game, with the coach’s permission of course, so Sydney and Maddie left me to get us seats in the stands.
I find Coach Wilson and follow him to the locker room to try to talk with some of the guys before tonight’s game.
I posted a story on their Instagram highlighting tonight’s starters, along with some of their stats from last season. I had nothing to do last night besides watch The Godfather for my film class, but I got bored within the first hour and decided to do my homework on the team instead.
I mean, how hard is it to run a few social media accounts?
Apparently a little harder than I thought. With over twenty guys on the team, it takes up a lot of time researching each player’s stats and history.
I follow Coach Wilson into the locker room, and it’s almost like the boys are having a party before the game. All of them are fully dressed in their uniforms, some beginning to lace up their skates while others are doing—honestly, I don’t know how to describe what I’m seeing.
There’s an old-school rap song blaring from the speaker next to Nate, and in the center of the room are Jake and Kieran, dancing like no one’s watching them. Limbs flailing as if they’re trying to shake out any lingering nerves before the game.
I wonder if this is some pregame ritual.
I grab my phone out of my back pocket and take a video of the two of them goofing around. My camera would have better quality, but this is way more discreet. The energy in the locker room is electric. It’s their first game of the season and you can tell that they’re all a little antsy waiting to play.
For some, it’s a bittersweet moment, it being their last year playing before they graduate. For others, fresh younger faces are anxiously watching their peers, trying to calm themselves before playing for the first time.I never used to understand how people got emotional over sports. My dad is a huge football guy, and the only time I’ve ever witnessed him cry was when his team won the Super Bowl. But looking at this group of guys, I think I’m starting to understand why.
“Settle in for a moment!” Nate turns down the music as Coach Wilson starts his pregame speech.
“This is our first game of the season. Keep it clean, skate fast, and don’t let a single goal past you.” His eyes fall on Kieran with his last word. “You should all have the plays drilled into your head by now and I want to see teamwork on that ice, got it?”
His voice booms off the cement walls and everyone nods silently in response.
“Captain.” He nods his head toward Nate. “Anything you want to add?”
The group follows Coach’s gaze, watching Nate stand, he taps his stick on the ground to get their attention.
“This is going to be our year, boys. We’ve trained all summer and spent hours working our asses off, day and night on this ice, and we’re going to fucking win. Boston College will play dirty, like they always do—they’ll try to make us fall for their tricks, but we’re smarter than them. They’re going to look up at the scoreboard and wish they would’ve trained harder. And when it comes time, that championship is coming home with us this season!”
All the guys start shouting, some knocking their sticks against the floor to create more commotion. If you lit a match, it would ignite with their energy.
“All right, let’s get out there and warm up!” With Coach’s dismissal, the boys start filtering out of the locker room.
I take this moment to go over the video, quickly cropping the beginning of Jake and Kieran dancing. I go to post it on the team’s Instagram, captioning it: Pregame hype.
As I’m about to hit upload, my phone gets taken out of my hands.
“Who said you could film me without my consent?”
I look up at Jake, who towers over me in his skates. He’s always been taller than me, it was one of the first things I noticed. But seeing him in all of his gear, he’s massive.
Before he can register my quick movement, I snatch my phone back.
“What, are you scared that one of your little puck bunnies is going to see this?”
Jake looks down at me, a smirk splayed across his face. “If anything, the video will only make girls want me more. You were recording, you saw how good my moves are.”
Of course he would say something like that.
“I’m allowed to take photos and videos, it’s my job, in case you forgot.”
“Oh, I didn’t forget, sunshine. I just like to annoy you. Enjoy the game. Get some good footage of me out there. Maybe I’ll even score a goal for you.” He slowly retreats toward the locker room doors that lead to the arena. “And keep a photo or two for yourself. Y’know, for personal reasons.” He winks at me before following the remaining teammates out into the arena.
God, he’s something else.
I make my way out of the locker room and find Sydney and Maddie dead center in the front row of the stands.
“Did you see any of them naked?” Sydney wiggles her eyebrows at me as I grab my camera out of my bag.
I roll my eyes at her comment. “No dicks in sight yet.”
A middle-aged woman sitting behind us coughs loudly. Oops.
I turn around and give her an apologetic smile. I forgot that the games are normally family friendly and sometimes we don’t say the most PG things.
“Syd, don’t forget that your brother is also on the team. So, if I do see anything, I’ll report back to you in excruciating detail.”
“Ew, okay, never mind, sorry I even asked.” Sydney puts her finger to her mouth, pretending like she’s gagging from the visual I just put in her head.
We turn our attention to the ice, where the boys are finishing their warm-ups. The teams go to their reciprocal benches, and the starting line takes their place on the ice. The referee holds the puck in between Nate and Boston’s center—Andrew Meyers.
As the puck leaves his hand, I feel my heart start to race. Nate wins the face-off, immediately passing the puck to Levi, and they skate into the offensive zone.
When I was researching the team last night I learned a lot about the starters. Nate Archer plays center and is majoring in business—similar to Eli Murphy and Kieran Danford. I swear almost half the team are enrolled in the same classes.
Nate’s been on the team since his freshman year. He was the co-captain for the past two seasons, but this is his first year of being captain solo, and his last year on the team, as he’s scheduled to graduate in the spring. I’ll be sad to see him leave because who will help us lift all our heavy boxes now? The first time I met Nate was move-in day at the dorms. I had just finished unpacking when Sydney walked in, empty-handed, with Nate in tow carrying three boxes. And when we moved into the condo, he was the only person who helped us.
But I can’t be mad he’s graduating and leaving us, he’s moving on to bigger and better things. Nate was drafted to the Boston Broncos when he turned eighteen, but his contract starts once his NCAA eligibility is done.
Levi Brody is the team’s starting right wing. Unlike some of his teammates, Levi is majoring in digital journalism. A few of our classes have overlapped in the past, but we’ve never spoken before now. He’s the same age as me, still having another year left to play.
Their left wing is a freshman named Sebastian Xavier. He comes all the way from Montreal on a scholarship and is also studying—like most of his teammates—business.
Kieran Danford is the team’s goalie. He plays in basically every game and rarely lets shots get past him. I tried doing some digging on his social media accounts, but this guy is so secretive. All of his accounts are private and it’s like trying to penetrate a solid cement wall with a plastic spoon. I guess that’s sort of what he’s like on the ice too.He definitely has that sexy mysterious vibe going on.
Eli Murphy is the team’s assistant captain. He transferred to BCU last year and in his debut game he scored three goals, something uncommon for a defenseman. He quickly proved he was a force to be reckoned with, and earned a starting spot his first year with the Wolves.From what I’ve seen in game clips online, he’s good at checking and making hard hits while hiding it from the refs. He was drafted to the Chicago Eagles in his last year of high school, but he’s adamant about wanting to swap to his home state—Tennessee.
The last player in their starting lineup is Jacob Shepherd. Probably the most infuriating of the five in my opinion.
Jake is the other defenseman for the team and has the stats to show that he’s one of the best BCU has seen in years. Over the course of last season, he scored more than fifteen goals, which is unusual for a defenseman, had over forty assists, and spent about twenty minutes in the penalty box. Even I cannot deny how talented he is, even if he’s absolutely aggravating. He was drafted to the New Jersey Demons when he was eighteen, and they’ll be lucky to have him once he graduates later this year.
While digging through Jake’s social media last night, I got a small insight into what he’s really like. His Instagram is mainly dedicated to hockey and, well, you guessed it, partying . When I scrolled through his tagged photos, there were hundreds of photos tagged by different girls, clearly living up to his playboy title.
In certain ways, Jake reminds me a bit of myself, which is scary to think. I get the whole no commitment vibe, but I wonder why he’s like that. I know why I’m the way that I am and what’s led me to make my own decisions. I can’t help but wonder if Jake’s fine with the playboy narrative or if he’s acting like this for a reason.
I guess it could just be that he’s hot and is using that to his own advantage. I highly doubt there’s a deep side to him.
I pull myself out of my thoughts and revert my attention back to the game.
Levi skates fast, dodging one of Boston’s defensemen, and passes the puck back to Nate, who has a clear shot. I angle my camera on its tripod and start filming, knowing Nate will take the shot the moment he gets the puck.The second Nate takes possession, he slaps his stick and gets the first goal of the game. Sydney, Maddie, and I shoot up from our seats and cheer with the other fans in the stands.
Throughout the rest of the first period, no one else can make a goal. Jake gets a penalty for tripping, although I swear the other player tripped over his own foot but made a big enough deal about it that the ref sided with them.It seems like the guys are relying heavily on offense in today’s game. I wonder if this was one of the strategies Coach was talking about.
In the second period, Nate is being cornered behind the net and passes the puck back to Jake, who takes the rare opportunity to skate past Boston’s offense and score the second goal of the game.
As Jake and Eli skate back toward their defensive position, Jake spots me in the crowd and points. “ That was for you. ”
I feel the heat rise to my cheeks as a few people around us stare at me for a moment.
It’s not normal for a guy to dedicate a goal to someone unless it’s their girlfriend. And I am far from that. I don’t even think you could call me and Jake friends.
Ignoring his gesture and the smug look on his face, I focus back on the game.
I strategically swap between taking photos and videos. I’m lucky enough to have a good quality camera on my phone as well to get double the content.
A body is checked here, someone slashes there. For a while all I focus on are the players in front of me, and the sound of a puck hitting the boards.I get some good close-ups of Nate and Eli, and an amazing photo of Kieran grabbing the puck midair.
The final buzzer goes off, indicating the end of the third period, marking the first win for the Wolves.
The final score is 3–1.
Their other teammates on the bench hop over the boards and tackle the guys on the ice, celebrating their victory over our rival team. Nate is in the middle of the commotion holding his stick above his head. Jake, Eli, and Levi are also stuck in the thick of it but enjoying every second of their win. I take this moment to snap a shot of the guys all together, smiles splayed across their faces.
Sometimes I forget what it’s like to take portraits of people. Being able to capture moments that are so vulnerable and raw, it gives the photos life. It reminds me why I pursued my passion for photography.
I tuck my camera back into my tote bag, now that the game has finished, and my skills are no longer required. I need to get a proper camera bag so I can keep all my attachments together. I’ve been using an old tote I got from a farmers’ market back in Manhattan. It was from this old vintage store, and the print stood out immediately to me. It’s this cute beige linen material with a globe and flowers embroidered on it. It has become heavily faded and torn throughout the years, but I can’t seem to part with it.
People start to weave their way through the stands to file out of the arena. I make my way past my friends and lead us into the lobby.
“I’m gonna wait for Nate. He’ll be so happy I finally attended one of his games.”
As much as Sydney loves her family and her brother, she’s one of the last people you’d catch at a game. She loves athletes but hates sports. She’s quite the contradiction.She’s also my ride, so it looks like we’re all going to wait for him.I scroll through some of my footage, deleting any shots that didn’t turn out the greatest.
When Nate comes out, he spots us immediately, making his way over to where we’re standing. And of course, following behind him like baby ducks—Eli, Kieran, Levi, and Jake.
“Evenin’, ladies, enjoy the game tonight?” Eli says first, his country twang slipping out. “Or were you too busy enjoying us ?” He leans down, raising an eyebrow at Sydney.
Yeah, he definitely knows how to use that Southern charm
“Eli, dial it back. That’s my sister, for fuck’s sake.” Nate runs his hand down his face before pulling Eli back by his shoulder.
I remember seeing Eli with a few different girls at Shaker’s last weekend when we were there. I can understand why, though, he’s so damn alluring. His soft warm skin and big lips make him stand out from the rest of his friends.
Sydney ignores Eli and her brother, instead she moves to stand in front of Jake, pointing her finger at his chest. “I assumed I would be the one who got a goal dedicated to her first since I’m your captain’s sister, but it seems like Ness beat me to it.” She glances back at me and gives me a wink.
I’m so going to kill her when we get home.
“Did you like that, Nichols? I thought it was a good touch. Great content for your little social media accounts too.” You can hear the smugness in Jake’s voice.
“Yeah, it was lovely, thanks.” Hopefully he’s picking up on my sarcasm. He uses his shoulder and shoves me to the side a little, very playfully.
“You ladies coming to Shaker’s tonight to celebrate, yeah?” Eli asks us.
Before Nate can decline for his sister, Sydney responds. “Hell yes, count us in!”
Nate’s nostrils flare for a split second before letting out a sigh. I can only imagine the hell that Sydney has put him through growing up. From the stories she’s shared with us, I’m surprised he doesn’t have any gray hairs yet.
I don’t feel like going out tonight. After what feels like an exhausting week, I wouldn’t mind going home and curling up with a book from Maddie’s bookshelf. I swear that girl could open a library with the number of books she has.
“I don’t know, I have some school stuff I really should get started on and a ton of footage to comb through.” That’s probably the lamest excuse I could’ve come up with.
“Ness, you have all weekend to work on assignments. Going out for a few hours won’t kill you.” Sydney stares at me with the biggest set of puppy-dog eyes I’ve seen. Her big brown eyes are lethal. When she wants something, she knows exactly how to get it.
“C’mon, even Maddie is going to come, right, Mads?” Her eyes dart to Maddie, whose attention is focused on the phone in her hand.
“Uh, yeah, sure.” She looks up from her phone scanning the group that surrounds us before her eyes fall onto me. “C’mon, girl, it’ll be fun.”
“Yeah, c’mon, Ness.” Jake drags out the last syllable. “Don’t be lame. You scared you can’t keep up with us?”
I know he’s challenging me. He thinks he can intimidate me into going out with them. Well jokes on him because I don’t cave that easily.
“I can’t fall behind on my term pro—”
“Ness—wait, is it cool if I call you that?” Kieran starts, his voice is velvet smooth. “Anyway, think of it like a form of initiation. You’re an outsider coming in and in order for us to accept you, then you have to hang out with us outside of hockey too.”
His emerald green eyes put me in a daze. Jesus, what is it with these hockey boys?
“See, now you have to come out,” Sydney pleads.
She’s so dramatic. But I love her.
“Maybe for one drink. And I really only mean one.” I give her a stern look, but her puppy-dog eyes definitely are winning me over.
I’m caving.
“Hang out with us for the night. What harm could we do?” Nate says as he starts to walk toward the exit, already accepting the fact that his younger sister and her friends are tagging along.
The boys follow Nate out the lobby doors, but Jake falls behind, falling into step with me.
“Captain’s orders.” Jake slings his arm around my shoulder as we all turn toward the doors. He whispers in my ear before running to catch up with Nate and the rest of the guys.“Looks like we’ll be spending the night together, sunshine.”
If Jake calls me sunshine one more time, I’m going to break his stick in half.