CHAPTER EIGHT
I’m fucking Jake Shepherd
JAKE
The first game of the year always sets the mood for how you go into every game for the rest of the season.
After winning our first game and crushing Boston College, I am on a high. Not literally, although a joint wouldn’t be the worst thing right now. My knees hurt a little from today and a few little hits would help the pain melt away.
Honestly, after every win I feel like I’m flying and there’s no better way to celebrate than going out with your friends. We even convinced Vanessa to come out with us. I think my teasing might’ve been the final nail in the coffin. Watching her eyes narrow to mine, meeting my challenge. She’s feisty.
I don’t know what it is that keeps drawing me to her. It’s like she’s a magnet and I’m a giant sheet of metal. Even if it’s only for a minute, I find myself wanting to be near her.
Talk to her.
Annoy her.
Fuck, I need to get Vanessa out of my system.
I’m fucking Jake Shepherd. If I really wanted to, I could get any girl in this bar tonight.And yet here I am, watching the door, waiting for her to walk in like I’m a fucking dog waiting for its owner to return home. God, this is pathetic .
If I could sleep with her once, that would get her out of my head. Right?
Kieran already thinks I’m obsessed with her, but I wouldn’t call it that. I’m intrigued . Maybe a scientist can scoop out my brain and analyze why I can’t get that small brunette off my mind.
It goes against my nature to want someone this badly.
“Shep, stop watching the door and drink this.” Kieran shoves a beer into my hand, reminding me that I’m out with my friends and need to stop fantasizing about a girl who clearly has no interest in me.
Although she did blush when I pointed at her during our game, and that was so fucking cute.
Cute? What the fuck is wrong with me?
I take a swig of my beer and join the rest of my teammates at the bar.
Shaker’s is decently packed for a Friday night, and everyone is here to celebrate our win. People constantly come up to us, congratulating us on our win and we feel like we’re at the top of the social food chain. It’s like everyone just wants to boost my ego even bigger than it already is.
I’m not gonna complain about that.
But then I see a small brunette walk into the bar, and I automatically think it’s Vanessa. That is until the girl turns around and disappointment turns in my gut.
Why am I disappointed? I couldn’t care less if she showed up.
Well…I guess I care a little .
I quickly down the remainder of the beer Kieran gave me and rest the empty bottle on the bar. I wave over the bartender, signaling for another, when I see a familiar face walk up to me.
“Jake! That was a sweet goal you made tonight.” Caroline sends me a smile as she runs her red-painted nails along my bicep.
“Thanks, Car.” I wrap my arm around her shoulders and give her a hug. Caroline and I have been friends since sophomore year. She used to casually date our old captain, but since he’s graduated and went on to the pros, she’s been hanging with our group. I think she feels more comfortable around this crowd than her own friends.I give her a smile as my eyes rake down her body. She’s wearing a tight leather skirt that hugs her ass and shows off her recent thigh tattoo—a crescent moon with stars hanging from the points, it looks fucking wicked.
I grab my beer from the bartender. “What’re you up to tonight?”
“I don’t know, haven’t decided yet.” She scans the crowd, scrunching her nose at most of the already wasted guys. “I might end up going home and cuddling my dog.” She then eyes me up and down. “Unless someone else has something in mind.”
I’ve hooked up with Caroline a couple of times in the past, before she was dating my former captain, and a couple of times post-breakup.I’m not one who fucks with other people’s relationships. I’m not a piece of shit.
Caroline’s petite but full of muscle, with dark red hair, peachy skin, and covered in patchwork tattoos. She’s a solid fuck and doesn’t expect anything afterward. She’s the type to sneak in and out in the middle of the night without saying a word.
From what I know, Caroline used to want commitment, but when Nick broke her heart last year, she completely change. Now she’s the type of girl who loathes relationships and would rather cut off her arm than date someone.
Hell, I can’t blame her. Who would want to be tied down, especially during college?
I turn my head back to Car and as I’m about to respond, the girl who’s been on my mind all day finally walks into the bar, her two friends in tow behind her.
Holy fuck, what is she wearing?
“Um, I’ll catch you later, Car.” I barely give a wave before heading straight for Vanessa.
Sydney is aimlessly looking around for our group, her eyes finding me first, and a wide smile breaks out across her face. She tugs on Vanessa’s arm, causing her to turn in my direction.
Vanessa stood out immediately to me. Her hair is curled again and she’s sporting a very tight red lace top with leather pants.
Leather pants are so fucking sexy.
I draw my gaze up her body, taking her all in. What stands out the most to me is the red lipstick she’s wearing. It highlights her pouty lips and all I can imagine is them wrapped around my cock.Is she the devil? Because she’s tempting me to do bad things right now, specifically to her.
“Ladies, glad to see you could all make it.” I smile at the trio, hoping my charm will immediately win them over.
“Jacob, lovely to see you again.” Sydney hugs me first. “Can you point me in the direction of your teammates? I want free shots.”
“They’re all at the bar. Tell Kieran I sent you over and he’ll take care of you two tonight.”
“The two of us?” Maddie questions me, pointing back and forth between her and Sydney.
“I’m going to steal Ness for a little bit, if the two of you don’t mind.”
Sydney wiggles her eyebrows at Vanessa, and she shoves her friend away in response, mumbling something about catching up with them later. Too bad she’s mistaken because I want Vanessa all to myself tonight. After seeing her cheer for us in the stands at the game, I haven’t been able to get her out of my head.
“That shirt you’re wearing is, uh…” Hot, sexy, makes me want to take her to the bathroom and make her come on my tongue. I lose the words before I can even say them.
C’mon, brain, start working.
“What, this?” She references her shirt. “It’s a corset top.”
She says that as if it’s something I should have known.
I have a younger sister, Autumn, who normally fills me in on the current fashion trends and what’s going on in the world of celebrities. She’s really into fashion and dance, but since moving away from home, I haven’t been updated as much besides her weekly text.
“Yeah…well, whatever it is, it’s hot.”
She rolls her eyes. It seems like that’s a reaction I get out of her a lot.
“Is this like a Pavlov thing?” I ask her.
She looks up at me and raises an eyebrow, causing her glasses to shift. “What?”
“Every time I say something, you go and roll your eyes at me. So, I’m asking, did you train yourself to do that every time I speak?”
I lean against the wall next to us, as her mouth falls into the shape of an O .
She stays silent for a second, as if she’s contemplating a reply to me. I’ve managed to make her speechless, just for one moment.
“Do you think I’m some dog that can be trained?” Her eyes are sending daggers at me.
Uh-oh, I hit a nerve.
Retreat. Retreat. RETREAT.
“No, uh, t-that’s not what I meant.” I should take my foot out of my mouth and shove it up my ass, I’m such an idiot.
Her green eyes hold an icy gaze. I can’t tell if she’s about to yell at me or slice my balls off with her glare.But she surprises me when a smile slowly spreads across her face, and she starts…laughing.
What the fuck?
“That’s hilarious. I honestly didn’t think you knew who Pavlov was.” Her voice is so smooth that it makes me forget that she’s assuming I’m dumb. I guess that is what the college hockey player stereotype is—a big oaf with a little brain. Well, jokes on her, she has no idea who I am.
“But to answer your question, no. It’s just a natural reaction when someone says something stupid, which you happen to do a lot.”
Damn. I don’t even care that she just insinuated I was dumb. Her laugh has me in a chokehold. I want to hear that again.
“Sheesh, sorry. I’ll work on integrating intellectual conversations between the two of us in the future.” This also makes her smile, so I take this as an opportunity. “Can I get you a drink?”
“Sure.”
We walk back toward our group, and I order her a vodka cranberry from the bartender.
Most girls like those, right?
I grab the drink and give it to her. As she holds the drink in her hand, I see her nose scrunch a little in distaste.
“What? You don’t like it?” I ask as she takes her first sip.
“No, it’s okay. I just…” She trails off. “Normally my go-to is a rum and coke, but hey, it’s a free drink, right?”
“I’ll make sure to get it right on your next one. Want to dance?”
She looks to the dance floor, seeing her friends dancing with Levi and Eli. “I’m not really in the mood for dancing tonight. Do you wanna sit down somewhere?”
I’m not the best dancer in the world so I’m a little relieved. The only way I can start to move is if I have some hard liquor in my system. And since the beginning of the season has started, I try to stick solely to beer. Emphasis on the try, sometimes I can be persuaded.
I realize I’m taking too long to answer, and Vanessa starts to fidget with the glass in her hand. “I mean, you don’t have to. I was just being polite. I can go hang with my friends.”
She goes to turn away, but I reach out and grab her arm before she can get too far.
“Hey, woah, hold on there. You barely gave me a second to respond. I’m fine with sitting and chatting. This can be our little meeting where you get to know me better. You know, for the whole social media thing.”
She’s clearly pleased with my answer, as she sports a smile again.
Fuck , her smile is so pretty.
I follow her to a table tucked more to the side, away from the dance floor. It’s quieter over here, easier for conversations.
As we sit in silence for a minute, I realize we’ve never really talked before. Only quick conversations in passing.
“All right, sunshine, so what do you want to know?” I lean back in my chair, resting my arm over the back of it.
She sighs loudly at the nickname. “If I ask you nicely to stop calling me sunshine, will you stop or are you going to keep calling me that because you know I hate it?”
“Probably option two.”
“Ugh, okay, whatever.” She shoos me away with her hand, huffing out a sigh.
I want to know why she gets so worked up every time I call her that.I think it’s a cute nickname. She’s always so moody and grumpy when she sees me, I think sunshine fits her perfectly because she’s the complete opposite. What’s her deal?
“All right, if you tell me a valid reason as to why you hate that nickname, and not just because it’s one I made up for you, I’ll stop.” I hold my hand up to my heart. “Scout’s honor.”
“You were not a scout.” The disbelief is so evident in her voice.
“Hell yes, I was. Troop number two fifty-six at your service.”
This gets another laugh out of her. Before speaking again, she takes another sip of her drink. Either she’s really thirsty or she’s mustering up some liquid courage.
“Fine. But just to preface, you asked for this trauma dump,” she starts. I nod at her, waiting for her to continue. “My ex used to call me that. He said that I reminded him of the sun and that his world revolved around me. Then he cheated on me, so I don’t really like to think about it anymore. So I implore you, will you please stop calling me that?”
I pick up on her body language as she starts to fiddle with the rings on her fingers, clearly this topic is making her on edge. I feel like there’s more to the story than she’s letting on.
“Is that it? I thought you said you were going to trauma dump on me?” I ask. “You and your boyfriend broke up and now the word sunshine has the same negative connotation as Voldemort?”
“Did you really just compare sunshine to Voldemort?”
“No, I’m saying you are comparing it. Who cares if your last boyfriend called you that? Why does it affect you so much if it’s just a nickname?”
“ Oh my god , you just won’t let it go.” She tosses her hands up in defeat before continuing. “ Fine . Here’s the actual trauma dump you asked for. I threw a party at my house for his birthday and caught him fucking my best friend in my bed. One moment I was his everything, I was his sun and stars, and the next thing I know, I’m being tossed away like a piece of trash. Now do you understand why I might not like the name?”
Yikes. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed her.But also, who the hell would cheat on her?Sure, Vanessa seems like all sass, but there’s some charm about her that’s intoxicating .
“Sorry, Nichols.” She nods at me, chugging the rest of her drink, licking her lips as she puts the empty drink down. “Maybe let’s get you another drink and find a more cheerful topic, yeah?”
Vanessa looks up at me and pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose. Fuck that was cute. What the hell is she doing to me?
“This round is on me, but when I get back, you better have some interesting or hilarious story lined up to lift my spirits.” She hops off the bar stool and heads over to the bar.
I watch her walk the whole way there, hips swaying back and forth with her movement. Those pants hugging every curve of her body. They’re so different from the baggy jeans she wore to our practice the other day. These ones are high waisted and tight around her thighs and ass, it’s so perfect—small yet round and plump.
As she makes her way back with her drink in one hand and my beer in the other, I make sure to turn my attention toward the TV above the bar, pretending like I wasn’t watching her the whole time.
“Okay, Jakey, what’s your story? I’m ready to be entertained.”She flips her hair over her shoulder, tucking a loose strand behind her ear.
My mind immediately goes blank. The whole time she was at the bar I was looking at her, not thinking of something to talk about when she got back.
“Right, yeah.” Oh fuck, I gotta think of something quick. “Uh, I was going to tell you when I fell in love with hockey for the first time.”
She makes a face of intrigue at me, stirring the lime into her drink.
“Okay, I’m listening.” She leans in, positioning her elbows on the table and resting her chin on her fists. I get lost for a second, staring into her massive green eyes. It’s like fields of grass on a warm spring day.
“My dad put me in sports when I was eight because he thought it would help me focus more. And it did. I remember attending my first practice and my coach, Coach Andy, put the stick in my hand and had all of us take turns shooting on our goalie.” She scoots closer, listening more intently to me over the music blaring in the background. “I was the first player who got a shot past our goalie, and I remember feeling untouchable. For the entire hour of practice, I left everything off the ice. I didn’t think about struggling in school or my parents fighting. Instead, when I went home that night, I thanked my dad for introducing me to hockey, and told him I wanted to be a professional hockey player when I grew up.”
I hope she doesn’t catch the secret I accidentally let slip.
She stares at me for a moment, a smile still plastered on her face. “That’s really sweet, Jake. I honestly thought you were going to tell me a story of when you and your teammates got shit-faced or something.”
This time I laugh at her. Most people assume I’m a dumb jock who only cares about sports and getting with chicks—which, don’t get me wrong, I definitely care about both of those things, but that’s not everything I care about.People just don’t care to ask the right questions.
“Oh, I’m sure I have a million and one stories about me and the boys. But y’know, I’m a lot deeper than people make me out to be.”
“Oh really? Okay, how about I rapid-fire some questions at you, Mr. I’m So Deep .”
I have a feeling this is going to be interesting.
“What is your biggest irrational fear?”
I don’t know what I thought she was going to ask, but this definitely wasn’t on my list. I take a moment to think it over besides settling on the obvious.
“I dunno, like…probably an apocalypse, like Mad Max or something like that.”
She stirs the straw in her drink slowly, her eyes still on me. “You don’t think you’re capable of surviving an apocalypse? You’d think with all those muscles, you’d have a fighting chance.”
I’m glad she’s taken notice of my hard work. “I never said I couldn’t survive an apocalypse, but I’d rather not have to scavenge for my life.”
“Hmm, okay. I wouldn’t say that, but to each their own.”
“All right, Nichols, what’s your irrational fear then if mine’s so lame?” I ask.
“Zombies.” She shudders as she says the word. I raise my eyebrow in question, asking her to continue. “I definitely wouldn’t survive that. If there ever was a zombie apocalypse, I’m out. I will literally take myself out of the equation. There’s no way I’m living in a world where I could be eaten alive.”
I mean, I would eat her alive, but just in another way.
“Okay, I’ll give you an easy one for the next question. What is your favorite movie?”
Oh, this is a no-brainer.
“Technically I have two. The first would be Jurassic Park because c’mon, a park full of dinosaurs. You’re telling me not one person in that movie didn’t think it was a bad idea to play around with genetics?”
She looks at me, a bit surprised by my answer.
“And the second?” She takes a sip of her drink.
“Basic answer, but The Godfather . My dad showed it to me when I was young, and we watch it every summer.”
She looks at me shocked for a moment. Most of the time when I tell people what my favorite movie is, they just agree and say it’s a classic. But Vanessa? No. Nothing is easy with her.
“You’re joking, right?” She looks up at me in shock.
“No, it’s a great film. The acting by Brando is insane. And the movie never drags. Coppola made it not only as a crime movie but to showcase Italian immigration into America.”
Vanessa is looking at me as if I have three heads.
“What?”
“Nothing I just…wasn’t expecting that answer,” she admits. “I have to watch The Godfather for my film class, but I almost fell asleep within the first hour.”
“You’re kidding? It’s one of the best films ever created and you’re telling me that you almost fell asleep? How do you almost fall asleep to a cinematic masterpiece?”
“I just wasn’t that into it. It bored me.”
“No, nope. I will not tolerate any slander on that movie. When do you need to watch it by?”
“We’re discussing it in class on Tuesday, so I’ll probably end up watching it this weekend. Unless I fall asleep again, then I’ll just look up the IMDb page and go from there.”
I take a sip of my beer before responding to her. “I’m coming over and I’m watching it with you, just to make sure you give it an honest shot.”
Vanessa rolls her eyes at me again. No matter what she says, I still believe that’s her favorite response to me.
“Whatever you say, Jake.” Her sarcasm is evident.
“Ask me something else. C’mon, I thought you said you were gonna rapid-fire at me?”
She looks at me, studying my face. I see the moment a thought pops in her head. “What made you choose environmental science as your major?”
Now she’s getting somewhere. I don’t remember the last time someone asked me about school except for Kieran trying to coordinate an elective with me.
I take a long sip, emptying my beer before answering. “Most guys who want to go pro tend to study business, economics, or some shit like that. But that shit bores the living hell out of me. I actually enjoy learning about the environment, about the movement of tectonic plates, how to measure past climates, all that shit is just so interesting.”
She nods her head as I blabber about my current oceanography class.
“How did you know that was my major?” I ask her.
She freezes for a moment, almost embarrassed by knowing that fact about me before I had a chance to tell her. “I was researching all of the players on the team the other night. I won’t lie, I was shocked when I found a few of you guys weren’t business or human kinetics majors. It was refreshing to know a few of you have other interests besides hockey.”
I know that Levi isn’t a business major, and a few other guys are in psych or engineering, but the rest of them fall under the business umbrella.
Vanessa finishes her drink. I think the alcohol has loosened her up a bit because she hasn’t rolled her eyes at me for the past twenty minutes. I think that might be a record. I should write that down.
“I’m gonna grab one last beer, would you like another drink?”
She contemplates for a moment, staring back from her drink to me. “Sure, why not.”
I grab our empty drinks and head over to the bar where a few of my teammates remain seated. The rest of them are either on the dance floor or have left for the night. I put our empties on the end of the counter with the other empty cups and bottles and walk over to Kieran, who has a small redhead attached to him tonight.
“So how’s it going over there? Has she rejected you again?” he asks.
“I’m working my charm. Just here to grab some drinks.”
Kieran smiles at me, trying hard to stifle a laugh. He turns his attention away from me and back to the girl in his lap.
I try to get the attention of the bartender, but he’s preoccupied with a group of girls at the other end of the bar. The only downside to being a guy at a bar is that if the bartender is a dude, he will always choose to serve women over men.
It’s not sexist, just facts.
I don’t really complain much about it because I would do the same thing. Women are beautiful. But right now, I really need to get our drinks and go back to talking with Vanessa. I don’t know what it is about her, but I feel like we’re very similar. I found out she’s really into nature documentaries. It’s like this girl wants to be the next David Attenborough.
There’s a sense of familiarity when talking to her. It’s like when you meet someone and can immediately tell that you’ll get along well. Even with her sassy remarks and eye rolls, she has this energy around her that’s contagious.
“Jake!” Caroline squeals from behind me and I nearly jump. I turn around to face her, and she has two shots of a dark liquid in her hands. “Do a shot with me, please.”
She looks up at me with her pouty lips and puppy-dog eyes. She’s always hard to say no to. Caroline is the type of friend to bully you into getting blackout wasted with her. Very chaotic, but very entertaining.
“What is it?” I’m a little hesitant to drink the unknown liquor.
“The bartender gave it to me for free, he called it ‘three wise men’ or something like that. I think it’s whiskey. C’mon, don’t be a baby.”
She waves the shot in front of my face, the way you would taunt a dog with a treat. I know she’s doing it just to get a rise out of me.
“Fine, if you don’t want it, then I’ll just have to take both and get alcohol poisoning, is that what you want?”
Gaslighting at its finest, ladies and gentlemen.
I grab the shot out of her hand. “Give it here. You’re a pain in the ass, did you know that, Car?”
“Obviously.” She smiles at me wickedly and we clink glasses, shooting it back. Normally I wouldn’t touch any hard liquor during the season, but we don’t have a game tomorrow, so tonight I’ll give myself a break.
The liquor feels like fire as it goes down my esophagus. Whatever the fuck that was, I never want to drink it ever again. I’m not a pussy either. I can take a shot of straight Jack Daniel’s or J?germeister any day, but whatever mixture was in that shot, just isn’t right. That was inhumane.
“That was disgusting,” I cough out.
“Ditto.” She rubs my back with one hand and places her empty shot glass down on the counter. “Well, I’m gonna go dance, come find me later if you’re bored.”
I wave her off and lean back onto the bar. The bartender finally makes his way back to my side, where I order our drinks. He takes a few minutes to grab a beer and rum and coke, but he finally returns with both drinks.I turn around and start to head back to our table when I notice both chairs are vacant. Where the hell did she go? Did she leave to use the washroom or something?
I take a seat at the table and look around, scanning for Vanessa. My eyes coast through the crowd until my eyes find her on the dance floor, and she’s not alone.
She’s with Levi.
That little fucker. He was teasing me all day after our game about her turning me down. He’s doing this shit to mess with me.
I make my way through the crowd of people, balancing the drinks in my hands until I’m next to them. The look I give Levi causes him to drop his hands from Vanessa’s hips.
“Brody, get lost.” I stare him down, silently telling him to back the fuck off.
Vanessa turns toward me, realizing I was the reason Levi stopped dancing with her. “Levi, pay no attention to him, I don’t know why his panties are in a twist.”
They’re in a twist because two seconds ago we were hanging out and talking, then I turn around and she’s dancing with fucking Levi.
“What do you mean? We were just talking and then you dipped. All I did was leave to go get us drinks, and boom, you’re gone?”
“Jake, you were gone for like fifteen minutes. I looked over at the bar and there you were with that little redhead taking shots, clearly preoccupied. Levi asked me to dance, and I said yes.”
Was I really gone for that long?
Well fuck, it’s not my fault the bartender took a million years to take my order. And when I asked her to dance earlier, she said she wasn’t in the mood to dance tonight.
Or did she just not want to dance with me?
Fuck it, when have I ever not said what was on my mind. “So when I asked you to dance earlier and you said no, it’s because you just didn’t want to dance with me, huh?”
She rolls her eyes at me again. Fuck it.
This time, I lean in closer, whispering in her ear. “The next time you roll your eyes at me, it won’t be because I’m annoying you.” With that, I walk away from her with both of our drinks and try to find myself a distraction, because holy fuck, do I need to preoccupy my mind with something other than her.
I find Caroline back near the bar, talking with some of the guys.
“Hey, Car, I’m ready to dance now.” I hold out my arm, waiting for her to grab it so I can lead us back to the dance floor. If Vanessa wants to fool around with Levi, then she can do whatever the fuck she wants. Just like I will.