Chapter 45 #2
But I’m not home. I’m on a ship without a thought of understanding what to do with myself.
Revenge consumed my thoughts day and night.
The idea of my hands around her throat until it snapped, bones cracking, excited me.
I’d watch her go limp in my arms, and the faded look of someone who destroyed my life.
Then, I imagine her life fading in my arms. My eyes narrow, and my teeth grit when I see her disintegrating, oozing down fiery hands until she is nothing but ash.
The conflicting thoughts of where my mind stays, but my heart lies elsewhere.
If I keep this up, it will get me killed because when I enter the arena, I will hesitate.
I eye her door when I walk past it. It’s dark, with no hint of light.
Balling my hand into a fist, my feet feel like iron, weighing down on me, and I know why.
I want to stop, turn around and knock on her door.
I want to know what she’s doing and how she sleeps.
I’m obsessively stalking the woman who murdered my mother.
“Fuck…”
I turn around, but I’m frozen in place. Pandora stands outside her door, wearing a shirt that’s not hers and sweatpants, also not hers.
She eyes me and then looks away. The wind that streams through the mist brushes against her fair skin and dark hair.
Brown eyes glow, warm and inviting, but not hers.
Eyes of another. Her eyes are likely a shade of purple or pink.
She steps forward and leans against the railing. I stand beside her, rest against it, and stare into her darkened room. The tip of the cigarette glows orange, and when the ash bends, I flick it out to sea.
“You’re awake late,” I say.
From the corner of my eye, Pandora smiles, but it’s strained. “So are you.”
“Why are you awake?”
Pandora moves her hand to her waist and says, “Sometimes it itches until I can’t sleep. You?”
I press the cigarette to my lips, inhale deeply, and let the smoke linger. “I find it difficult to sleep at night.”
She turns toward me. “When I was in the closet, you woke up covered in sweat. Do you get nightmares?”
“More like memories. Do you get them?”
Pandora raises her arms and stretches, revealing her purple panties. “Mine come when I’m awake.”
My focus lingers on her thigh, noticing the ends of her scars curling like flames. She lowers her hands and tugs the shirt down to cover them.
“Are they all dead?” I say.
“No…One of them escaped.”
“If you live, I will make sure Alad finds them for you, and then you can get your revenge—that is, if you still want it. But I know I will hunt them down until they’re afraid of their shadow.”
Pandora takes a step toward me, and her shoulder brushes against mine. “I can always count on you, which sounds weird to say to someone who wants me dead.”
I huff a breathy laugh. “It’s fucked up when you look at it, isn’t it? The first time my heart beats, I want to kill the cause instead of understanding it.”
She touches my arm, steps away from the railing, and guides me toward her room. “Do you want to come in? I can make you forget about your nightmares tonight, Reen.”
“How so?”
She jerks her thumb into the room and says, “You left Connect Four in there, and I still have a score to settle with you.”
My shoulders tremble, laughter filling my bones. For a moment, I thought she was insinuating sex, which would be unlike her. Maybe it’s because I want to be the one inside her.
Pandora lures me into her room. Her movements are cautious and beyond careful, as if she’s afraid to scare me away. When the door closes, the light beside her bed flickers on, and we sit across from each other with Connect Four in the middle.
We don’t sleep. Our mouths move until they’re numb and tired from talking, and our throats tighten, becoming hoarse from the laughter.
She’s definitely a tapeworm that’s burrowing inside me, and someone who can break my walls when I’m around her.
She shows me it’s not so bad being…human.
It’s a strange sentiment, considering humans don’t exist anymore.
Still, how she shows me I’m not this fearsome mutt who takes orders without care can be seen as admirable.
Pandora slides the blue coin into the slot, drawing across four lines. Thick lashes flutter, and she looks at me submissively as she says, “Touch me, Reen.”
Birds caw in the distance as the sun rises through the mist. But we’re still in the room, and the day hasn’t broken to us, and the night still plagues our minds.
Coins and the game clatter to the ground. Her breath hitches as I drag her toward me, and her legs wrap around my waist. Her hair slips like silk through my fingers, and I force my mouth onto hers, hungry to devour every fucking breath she makes.
My tongue tastes her longing, lust, and desperate need for love.
Through it all, her breath hitches, and as I break from the kiss, her fingers move between her legs, but they shake.
She is afraid…no, repulsed to touch herself.
“I don’t…” Dark eyes turn to me, and she strains a smile.
“I haven’t touched myself since Desmond. ”
I take her hand, and she lets me guide her hand between her legs with my hand over the top of hers. She hitches a breath, squirming and unsure what to do as I rub my fingers and hers against her supple clit.
“Reen,” she pants.
She looks down when I pinch her chin with my thumb and forefinger and lift her gaze. “Eyes on me.” My finger slips inside her warmth while hers stays on her clit. She’s soaking wet. Her juices drip the more I slip in and out of her. Fuck, the way she coats my fingers.
I keep my movements slow, easing her into it. Pandora needs to understand her body, how it moves, and how it feels before I can let what I want to take over me.
Her arm wraps around my shoulder, and she wiggles closer until her forehead presses against mine.
Strawberry kisses in her hair, and her shaky, hitched breaths escape her as I slip two fingers inside her, separating them and letting them circulate her warm fucking walls.
For an ice elemny, her pussy is as warm as my skin.
Fuck, imagine it wrapped around my cock.
“You make me frustrated,” Pandora says against my lips. “I can’t place you, but as much as I hate you, I want you.”
I twitch a smirk. “I hear the best fucks are ones filled with hate.”
She breathes a laugh, tips her head back, and moans. “Fuck, this feels so good, Reen.”
I stare at her neck and the slenderness.
The hand on the left side of her waist twitches, hungering to snap up to her throat and tighten until she breaks.
My heart pounds, and my chest rises and falls.
Whispers in my ear tell me to grip her throat until her breaths fall from panicked lips—the itch of wanting her dead.
My hand moves up with the desire to choke her when I see the smile alight on her face. Her mouth parts and light moans cause me to snap away from her exposed neck and to Pandora, high on life for the first time.
Fuck.
My hand moves around her waist, pulling her closer to me, and if I freed myself now, my cock would perfectly slide into her pussy. Her moans hitch when I move out of her, take her hand and let her feel her warmth while I make her come before I lose my fucking mind and do something I regret.
Like killing Pandora before our designated time.
I rub hard against her moistened clit. “Come on my fingers, Pandora.”
Blush creeps across her already-flushed cheeks as she pulls away from me. “I already did.”
I stop rubbing and arch my chin while staring down at her. “When?”
“When I said your name…”
That was so fucking long ago. “Why didn’t you tell me to stop?”
“It felt good?” She shrugs. “I didn’t want it to end.”
I laugh. “Fuck me, Pandora. You’re a fucking nightmare.”
She cracks a smile and removes her fingers, and I do the same. Pandora wraps her arms around my shoulders, leans in and says, “Then I will be the best fucking nightmare you have ever had.”
I pull away, tap her forehead and mutter, “Idiot.”