Chapter 25 #2
My chest feels tight with a swirling of sickening emotions.
Is this really just a game he’s playing?
How could someone be so manipulative, even while he loves another?
Or is he only saying that he loves her? She thinks they’re going to build a family together.
Or maybe they already have. Why would he do this to her, nevermind me?
Does she know just how involved he’s pretending to get with me?
Did she agree to this arrangement to better his business so that they’d have more stability for their future children?
Or did she not know how extensive this would be, and that’s why she’s upset?
After all, she did tell him that he was better than this. Clearly, she’s mad about it.
I feel bad for her, honestly. She’s probably just trying to go along with it since she loves him, and she understands that it’ll be profitable. Which might sound greedy, but if she’s thinking about her family, I don’t blame her. A mother’s love is unlike anything else.
It seems to me like Alasdair and I are going to need to have that talk sooner rather than later.
My hand is limp in his, not closing around his hand in return.
He turns to look at me questioningly, searching my eyes again as if to get a gauge on how I’m feeling.
I don’t think he wants to know that, because right now I feel like giving him a stern piece of my mind.
I need to cool my jets before we have that discussion.
I turn away from him before my expression can reveal anything.
Camden is setting a table that wasn’t there a moment ago with a crisp white linen, a trolley full of silverware and glasses just behind him.
He smiles at me, the dimples in his cheeks showing as he sets four places.
“Come on over folks, I’ll be right back with more drinks and then your dinner.
” Camden grins before turning to head back to the kitchens.
Jack walks forward first, sitting in one of the chairs that faces away from the view. “Thank the Holy Mother Mary, I’m starved.”
Liam snickers and joins him, sitting in the chair next to him, which leaves the other two chairs that face the gorgeous view for Alasdair and I. “That’s because you’re not used to walking so much. You need to get out and get more exercise, big man.”
Jack rolls his eyes. “Shut your hole, Liam. You don’t know what you’re feckin’ talking about.”
Alasdair squeezes my hand, making me look at him begrudgingly. “Are you okay, leannán?”
While I’ve never really been able to make sense of the nickname, it now makes me feel sick. “Yeah. Fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” he says quietly as his free hand reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. It feels like everything he’s doing is revolting to me with what I’ve learned.
I take in a deep breath, trying not to let my emotions get the best of me. “You shouldn’t do that.”
He arches a brow. “Do what?”
I bite the inside of my cheek harshly, letting the pain steady me. “You shouldn’t try to trick someone by acting like you care.” The words slip from my lips before I can stop them.
I turn, pulling my hand away from his as I walk towards the table, sitting down across from Jack and Liam and trying to put on a brave face. Behind them, Alasdair still stands where I left him, an expression of shock and confusion written on his face.
I disregard them and turn my attention back to the other two gentlemen at the table. “Are you guys having a good day?”
Oblivious of what just happened, both Liam and Jack smile at me.
Jack nods as Camden brings out more drinks for us before quickly disappearing back to the kitchens.
“Lovely day. I mean, how could we not be enjoying ourselves? We’re out on the water, the weather is great, we had a fun day shopping, and now we’re seeing an iconic landmark at sunset.
Not to mention the company is merry.” Jack grins and clinks his glass with mine. “Cheers.”
Alasdair slowly rounds the table and sits down next to me, his face slightly pale.
He doesn’t say anything as he takes a long sip of his drink, until it’s half gone.
My heart clenches at how distraught he looks, but I shake off the feeling.
He doesn’t deserve my sympathy, and I’m sure he’s more upset that he’s not able to manipulate me more than anything else.
He’s mad that his plan isn’t working. Maybe it's good for him to sit with those feelings.
I focus more on trying to have fun with Liam and Jack as the day winds down and the sun slowly sets. We have a delicious dinner out on the water, and although most of this feels hollow, I try to make the most of it and enjoy myself nonetheless.
Alasdair barely talks for the rest of the night, and Liam and Jack notice, shooting glances at him every few minutes. I keep my eyes locked on everything and anything but Alasdair, and I think Jack and Liam pick up on that, too. Not that I particularly care what they think of me.
When we return to the docks and disembark, I’m relieved. It’s one step closer to returning to the hotel, being alone, and not having to deal with any of this bullshit anymore.
I’m done giving people more chances out of empathy and not trusting my gut. Alasdair doesn’t love me, and he never will. Nothing more will happen between us beyond a business transaction.