Chapter 27
Amy
Everything within me feels like it’s been melted into a warm puddle of goo.
My mind, my logic, my common sense. When Alasdair cornered me in the elevator, I thought I was going to lose my mind.
I’m not sure anyone has really ever made me feel like that, so pulled into the moment and enamored with it.
He forced my guard down by overloading my brain, and normally that would sound horrible to me, but instead, it felt freeing.
Like I was able to just…be. To feel. Without getting caught up in overthinking or running everything through a filter, something I thought was impossible for me.
Alasdair did the impossible. And I’m not sure how to feel about it. I’m scared at how much I like it.
The whole thing about the white wines just made it all worse. The fridge was stocked full of my favorite drinks. I’m not even sure how he knew about my favorite soda, but he’s obviously been observing me, learning me, and applying what he’s gathered to make me feel welcome. Or something.
I still don’t trust it. I know from that text thread that he’s just trying to build trust in order to manipulate me and make me cooperate.
I admit, I’m at least relieved he doesn’t have kids, assuming he isn’t lying, of course.
But I’m not sure if he is or not, since he also denied seeing anyone else.
My brain is trying to come up with another answer to the texts I read, another possible solution to who that person could be and why they said what they said.
But it’s hard, and I haven’t been able to think of anything else so far.
I don’t like believing the worst of people, or even thinking badly about them.
But I also can’t deny what I see plainly before me.
If he wants the truth, then he’s going to get the truth.
But he may learn that he doesn’t like it after all.
I pull up the text thread with Marjorie, and hand it to him.
I see his eyes widen, and my heart sinks.
You really think I was bluffing, dude? I wasn’t.
I know what I saw, and you’re not as slick as you think you are.
He lets out a slow breath. “Amy. This isn’t what it looks like.”
I scoff. He really couldn’t come up with anything more creative than that? “Really?”
His brows furrow, his steel gray eyes filled with a desperate concern. “That’s what I was saying earlier, about there being danger…danger for you, that I’m trying to protect you from. And that danger is me.” He pauses.
I furrow my brows, feeling a bit of anger rise up at the stupidity of his answer.
“I’m sorry, what? You’re really going to go that route?
The I’m a terrible person and I’ll end up hurting you route?
Really? You don’t think that’s cliche at all?
Like, come on. Pick a better thing to mope over if you’re going to pretend to be a morally gray character. ”
He arches a brow. “A morally gray character? Is that what you think of me, leannán?” He chuckles.
“I’m flattered, I suppose. Let’s talk this through.
I’m going to protect you. I’m not going to let my selfishness get in the way, not if I can help it.
I don’t mean that I’m going to hurt you.
I mean that, by knowing me and being close to me, that makes you a target.
I don’t want anyone to hurt you in order to get to me.
So I’ve been trying to act like this is just business and I feel nothing for you with everyone else, but…
it’s not working.” He leans in closer, making my heart rate pick up.
“Do you want to know why it’s not working, leannán? ”
I take in a shaky breath, feeling my body grow clammy at his proximity. I pull back, but he just leans in more. “Why?”
He grins. “Because I’m too obsessed with you.
Although I try to hide it, it’s so strong that it’s obvious.
My Aunt Marjorie, who I was texting, can tell.
A rival mafia leader, Lorenzo De Matteis, can tell.
Liam and Jack, despite being dopes when it comes to women, can tell.
I’m working hard to act like it’s just business, to put on a front, to keep my attachment to you under control.
But I can’t. You pull me in, a magnetic pull, like a planet keeps a moon in orbit.
Ever since I learned about you, learned of your existence…
I’ve been revolving around you. You’re my world, Amy. ”
His words are like honey, and I hate how well they soothe my ego. But I know better than to trust pretty words. “I don’t know…that was your aunt?” I frown.
He grabs his phone in a flash, returning to the text thread and scooting closer to me to show me. Earlier texts in the thread…them talking about his uncle, calling herself his aunt, talking about their family…it’s true. That’s his aunt.
I take in a deep, steadying breath. “All right. I believe you about that, but…the things you said about me…I don’t want to be a nuisance.
I don’t want you to have to manipulate me to get me to cooperate.
I don’t plan on causing a stir. I’ll cooperate, you don’t have to be nice to me or buy me things to coerce me. ”
His fingers run along my jaw to grip my chin. I didn’t realize how close he got until he was turning my face towards him and we’re mere inches apart. “Is that so?” He murmurs. “You plan on cooperating with me, Amy? Hm? You want to listen to me, to obey my instruction?”
A flash of heat floods through me. My breath stutters in my throat, and my eyes grow wide. His words send an electric current of desire straight to my clit. It only makes him grin more, as if he can sense what he just did to me. “I..well, I didn’t mean it like that, you know…like, I just meant…”
He gives a deep chuckle, and we’re close enough that I feel it rumble through my chest. “I know what you meant, leannán. My question still stands.”
I feel my cheeks grow hot, and I huff. “Listen, I think we need to clear things up before I’m comfortable with this type of discussion.”
He smirks and releases my chin. “That’s a girl.
Tell me what you want, speak up for yourself.
” He leans back and I feel a swirl of emotions in my chest. Surprise, confusion, desire, frustration.
I don’t know what to think. He returns to his original seat.
“Let’s clear things up, then. Here’s what you need to know.
As I said, a rival mafia leader is sniffing around like a shark around blood.
I’m handling it. Part of that is acting like I’m not truly invested or interested in you.
I assure you, it’s not the truth. Quite the opposite.
I panicked when I told my aunt that it’s just business.
” He folds one leg over the other. “Everything I’ve been doing for you is too extravagant to be just business, which is why she’s calling my bluff.
She knows me better than that. I’ve been doing it because I want to do it, leannán.
” The last sentence sounds almost like a purr.
I furrow my brows. I’m still not sure, not positive that he can be trusted. Some people’s manipulation knows no bounds. “I think I need more proof than your word.”
“Hm.” He strokes his chin, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Very well. Anything you wish, lovely leannán.” He stands, and I look up at him with confusion.
He starts pushing the coffee table away from us and the couch, making me even more confused. “What are you doing?”
He gives a low chuckle. “I offered something to you earlier. I think it’s only right that I follow through with it.”
I try to rack my brain for what in the world he could be talking about.
But before I can come up with anything, he turns back around and comes to stand right in front of me.
I look up at him with what I’m sure is a baffled expression on my face, especially as he lowers himself to his knees in front of me.
He leans on my knees, folding his hands together like he’s praying to me.
My brain goes into error mode as shock courses through me. My mouth is opening and closing like a fish out of water, and good god, that’s exactly what I feel like. I’m not sure I’ve ever been more turned on in my entire life. “Um, I…this isn’t necessary…”
He laughs, a rich and rumbling sound. “It’s very necessary, Amy. I told you earlier that you could say one word and bring a powerful man to his knees. And, well, you said the magic word, didn’t you, my darling?”
I shake my head adamantly. “No, I didn’t mean to, I was wanting more evidence…”
“Ah, but you’ll come to learn your power, leannán.
You’ll learn to use it, too. If you want more evidence, then you’ll get more evidence.
Shall we go down to the hotel lobby? I’ll get on my knees for you there, too.
You want me to beg for you in front of Jack and Liam?
Consider it done. You want me to buy a whole bookstore for you? I’ll do it. Just say the word.”
I huff in exasperation and shake my head.
“No, no. None of that is necessary. Stop with the pretty words. You literally told your aunt, if that’s who she really is, that you were coddling me in order to build trust so that I’d cooperate with you.
Is this just more manipulation, more coddling?
How am I supposed to know this all isn’t bullshit?
” I stand up and try to move away from him, but he grabs my hips, holding me in place, looking up at me with a soft expression that makes my head spin.
He smiles softly. “I knew the real you would come out eventually, the one I heard before…swear again, Amy.”
I look at him in complete confusion. “What? You heard before? I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
He groans, planting his forehead on my stomach, obscuring his face. “Fuck, baby, that sounds good when you do it.”