7. He Hates Me
HE HATES ME
OLIVIA
“Cross, Winnie told me you and Deb were coming to her and Blake’s place tonight for dinner. You need to do that and live your life. I’m fine.”
“You weren’t fine when I showed up yesterday,” he points out.
I sigh because he’s absolutely right. I was a mess. In truth, it was a rough night. Still, I survived, and I did it without having a panic attack. For me, that’s a win—a big one. “You’re right,” I admit, knowing that lying to him would make it worse.
“Damn right I am. That’s why I’m exactly where I need to be,” Cross counters.
“I was bad yesterday. Today, I’m fine. I survived the night without a panic attack.
I didn’t have one at all, Cross. You know how huge that is.
” He scrubs the back of his neck, watching me closely.
I know he’s wondering if I’m lying, so I let him see that I’m not.
“I’m fine. I’m going to spend the night loving on Claire and watching kiddie shows.
That’s not what you want to be doing tonight.
You need to take Deb and introduce her to some of your brothers.
You need to start living again. I want that for you.
Bear would want that for you, and most importantly, your daughter would, too. ”
He stares at me, letting out an annoyed breath—which mostly sounds like a bear’s chuff of frustration. I grin at him, making him shake his head.
“Ollie-girl, you’re even more stubborn than I am,” he huffs.
I giggle. “I’m learning from my second father.” Cross freezes for a second. “I love you, Cross.”
His gruff face softens. “I love you, too, Ollie-girl.” He takes me into his arms, and I go willingly, hugging him tight. “You saved my life after I lost my girl, you know,” he adds, emotion clogging his voice.
“You did the same for me after I lost Bear,” I confess. “Now, will you get Deb and take her out for a great night?”
“She’ll kick both our asses when she hears what happened yesterday and knows I didn’t tell her so she could stay with you tonight,” he warns.
“I want to stand on my own, Cross. I need to prove to myself that I can. That’s the only way I’m going to truly start living my life again and keep my promise to Bear.”
“Okay, I’ll give you tonight, but tomorrow Deb and I are at your place and I’m going to grill my girls some steaks,” he compromises.
“I can get down with that. I’ll make dessert.”
“It’s a deal,” he laughs.
I walk him to my door, eyeing the time. I’ll have enough time to gather a few things before I walk up to Carson and Lisa’s. I open the door and turn to look at him, but I gasp when he pulls me back into his arms unexpectedly.
“Cross?” I ask, resting my head against his chest as he hugs me tightly.
“You had a scare yesterday and you’re happy and laughing tonight, Ollie-girl.”
His voice sounds tortured, and my eyes sting with tears. “I told you, Cross. I’m getting better.”
“I know, I just don’t think I truly believed it until now,” he admits.
A few of those tears I’m trying to hold back escape. “Do you think it would make Bear happy?”
“Absolutely. All that man wanted in this world was your happiness, Ollie-girl.”
“I love him so much,” I whisper, the pain in my heart so intense that it almost robs me of breath.
“I know, sweetheart,” he croons, rubbing my back comfortingly.
“I wish I could just speak to him one more time and let him know I’m okay,” I share.
“He knows. There’s no way Bear would allow himself to leave you alone, without making sure he could still look in on you. I truly believe that, and you need to also, Ollie-girl.”
I nod, squeezing him tight. I don’t trust myself to speak. The moment is too full of emotion.
“Am I interrupting something?”
My body goes completely still. That’s an unwelcome voice, and it’s like it throws ice water over all the swirling emotions around me and Cross.
Cross picks up on my discomfort at once.
I can feel it in the tightness that enters his body.
He turns us so that we’re facing Lake, and I force myself to look at him.
Again, those eyes hit me. They may look like Bear’s, but they’re not his.
These eyes are cold and angry. One look from him freezes me to the bone.
“Wh-What are you doing here?” I ask, trying to get control of my nerves.
“Carson sent me down to take you up to the house,” Lake informs me, anger filling his face. I don’t know what I’ve done to piss him off, but the man hates me. There’s no other way to say it.
“Do I know you?” Cross asks, moving away from me to walk closer to Lake.
“No,” Lake says at once. “I assume you’re one of Olivia’s many friends.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Cross growls, putting my hand on his arm.
“Nothing at all. I’ve just noticed Olivia is pretty popular around here, especially with the males.”
“You fucking prick—” Cross yells, advancing on Lake.
“Cross, stop. He’s not worth it.”
“The fucker disrespected you, Ollie-girl.”
“We both know I’ve heard worse. Just let it go.”
Lake frowns at me, but I ignore him. Cross doesn’t listen to me, he steps into Lake’s face and places his palms flat against the plain white tee that Lake is wearing and shoves him back a step.
“Ollie is property of the Saint’s Outlaws.
If you want to keep breathing, I suggest you keep away from her, or not even Ollie asking me to spare you will save your miserable ass. Got it, dickhead?”
“What the fuck is a Saint’s Outlaw?” Lake sneers. Shit. This is not going to go well. I need to get Cross to rein in his anger before Lake does something more to get himself killed.
Cross laughs, but there’s nothing funny or joyful about the sound. Instead, it’s full of malice. “Fuck around and find out, cowboy. Keep it up and not even the Wells Group will be able to save you—not that they would.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says.
He’d have to be completely clueless not to know who the Saint’s Outlaws were around here.
Maybe he’s not from here. That’s the only explanation I can come up with, anyway.
The Saints are practically legends in this area.
They single-handedly saved a major county here in North Carolina, built housing for low-income and the elderly, have a major casino that gave more money to the town it was in than to themselves.
They’re legends. Yet this guy has no recognition whatsoever of who they are.
“Shit. Are you a tourist playing at being a cowboy? You’re not from around here?” Cross scoffs.
“Is that some kind of crime?” he responds at once.
“Learn who they are, boy. Being clueless won’t save you when you piss off the wrong people.”
“Cross—” I try again, but he ignores me and keeps being the bulldozer that I know and love.
“And if you keep spouting your shit at Ollie, you’ll find out real quick that you’ll have everyone in the area and then some against you,” he finally adds.
I shake my head, already feeling pain gather behind my eyes. Shit. Shit. Shit. Now is not the time for a blinding migraine. I’m going to spend time with Claire tonight. The last thing I want is a migraine hampering my time with her.
“You can leave, Lake. Cross will take me to Lisa and Carson’s.”
“Sorry, I can’t let that happen. My orders were to collect you and bring you back so that you aren’t walking the ranch alone.”
“I’ll be fine.”
Still, he doesn’t let it drop. “No. It’s not happening,” he counters.
Finally, I’ve had enough and reach into my pocket, grab my cell, and call Carson. I put it on speakerphone so everyone could hear me. I don’t want this guy twisting anything I say or do.
“Hey, Livy. Everything okay? We sent Lake there to pick you up if you’re—”
“Carson, that’s why I’m calling. Can you give Lake the approval to head back to the house without me?”
“Livy, love—”
“I’m serious. Cross is going to bring me up in a bit. I think the less time I spend with Lake the better,” I respond. I don’t know how it’s possible, but I can literally feel Lake’s anger ratchet up. I take a deep breath and face his glare.
“Has he done something to upset you?” Carson probes.
“No, he’s fine. We just don’t like one another.
It’s easier this way for my sanity,” I admit with a small—but admittedly bitter—laugh.
“I’ll have Cross drop me off and you or Jeff can drive me home when you get back.
Although I will point out that I’d be safe walking home. This place is constantly guarded.”
“One of us will drive you home,” Carson says at once, making me shake my head. “Are you sure you’re okay with Lake guarding the house with the others tonight?”
“Of course. You said he’s one of your best men. Just because the two of us are oil and water is no reason to pull him off the detail. I’ll be inside with Claire. The most important thing is to keep her safe,” I murmur.
“And you, Livy. I promised when you agreed to move here that you’d always feel safe here and never threatened. I slipped up, allowing Ray inside. If you’re having problems, I need to know,” Carson says immediately.
“She—” I interrupt Cross at once and shoot him the meanest glare I can manage.
“I’m fine. I’m getting tired of people treating me like I’m glass.
I’m not,” I practically growl at once. “I’m a survivor.
There’s a difference. Don’t think I don’t realize why Cross showed up on his first official date with Deb and offered to stay with me instead.
” I take a breath and then drop my gaze, as the next words tear open a wound inside me that will never disappear.
“You guys need to let me breathe. Bear made me promise that I’d hold on until his men saved me and then I’d live for both of us.
I will not disappoint him. Carson, please, just let me function normally and stop trying to surround me in bubble wrap. ”
“You realize that we’re all scared of my cousin and she’s going to have our asses handed to us if we do what you ask?” he jokes.
“Well, right now Winnie is having her first official dinner party, and I need …” I watch Cross with a half-smile—before I finish my sentence. I want him to see the truth. “I need my second father and my big brothers to see that I’m healing, and they’ve made sure I feel safe enough to do that.”
Carson clears his throat. “Fine, little sister. Your niece is waiting for you. Do you need anything else?”
My gaze lands on Cross. He can be a tough man with everyone but me. I see the tears shining in his eyes. I don’t look at Lake. He doesn’t matter. “Well, you have deep pockets, right?”
Carson laughs even as I hear Lake’s grunt. “Yeah, I've got deep pockets.”
“Well, Cross, if you could bribe Blade when he eats Winnie’s dinner, I’d appreciate it. I want to see the exact moment when he discovers that as amazing as Winnie is, she can’t cook worth shit,” I giggle. My joke helps, and the tension is relieved—at least with Cross and Carson. That was my aim.
“Okay, brat. Get your ass up here. Now, I have something to blackmail you with if you don’t do as I ask. I’ll make sure Winnie gets wind of what you just said.”
“Oh please. She loves me more than she does you. I’m safe. Plus, you know I’m right. She can make two or three things relatively well. The others are scary.”
“Blade will make her have the restaurant cater it,” Carson confirms, and practically cackles.
I can picture Carson wiping his face like he’s dodged a bullet.
Somewhere in the middle of the laughter, Lake leaves, and I breathe easier.
It’s better this way. The two of us will never have to deal with one another again.
I ignore the emptiness inside my heart with that thought.
What is wrong with me?