22. Fighting Ghosts
FIGHTING GHOSTS
LAKE
It took me a bit, but I found the pantry.
Inside were all kinds of supplies, but a lot of them were homemade and canned items. It seems Olivia wasn’t lying when she said she liked the diner because she didn’t eat a lot of fast food.
I figured if she liked it enough to make and preserve it, I couldn’t go wrong choosing something there.
She had beef stew, but I worried it might hurt her stomach.
It had to be tender after the upset she had suffered today.
So, I grabbed a quart of vegetable soup.
It has ground beef in it, too, so it should be filling.
I also located crackers and grabbed a couple of lemon-lime sodas from the fridge.
I’m a little unsure of my choices, but I thought it would be rather light and easy on her stomach, and that was my goal.
I couldn’t find a serving tray, but I found a large, aluminum sheet pan in a cabinet, so I arranged everything on it and took it to Olivia’s room.
I smile when I notice she’s curled back into the bed. I put the pan on one of the nightstands. Then sit on the bed, turning toward Olivia. Bending down, I tuck some air behind her ear and quietly ask, “Are you awake?”
“Mostly,” she answers, her voice hoarse and groggy, making me smile. Even as broken as she looks with her pale face and swollen eyes, Olivia is adorable.
“Good. I brought us some food.”
“Us?” she asks, surprised.
“We always have lunch together. Are you going to kick me out and force me to go home to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, when I’m dying to try your homemade soup?
” I ask, only slightly pretending to be hurt.
If she kicks me out, it might crush me. I don’t care if that makes me sound like a pussy. I don’t want to leave her.
“You fixed my soup?”
“Yeah. It looked too good to pass up. Now, sit up and eat with me. What movie are we watching?” I ask.
“Movie?”
“Yeah, I told you to pick your favorite movie, and we’d watch it. Remember?”
“Oh, I guess I forgot. I don’t really watch a lot of television, though,” she confesses, as she turns to face the end of the bed, her legs folding with her knees out as she gets comfy.
“That’s okay,” I respond, putting the pan in front of both of us, opening her soda. “I just want you to feel comfortable.”
“I’m good. I like the quiet,” she explains.
I open the sleeve of crackers, placing it on the pan between our bowls.
We’re silent for a bit as we get our food ready.
It’s not a stilted silence, though. We work in harmony.
Any tension in the room is completely nonexistent.
If I’m honest, it feels damn good. As the first spoonful of the soup hits my tongue, I almost moan.
Flavor explodes on my tongue. It’s the best damn thing I can remember eating.
“Damn, Livy. This is good.” She smiles and her cheeks tinge a slight pink, which makes me happy. I don’t like it when she’s so pale.
“You like it?”
“No,” I answer at once. Her forehead crunches up as she looks at me and I grin. “I love it. No wonder you don’t like fast food if all your cooking is like this.”
“Well, I can’t take much credit. The vegetables used were all grown here on the ranch.
I help out in the greenhouses, so Carson lets me take what I need.
In exchange, I make sure to send some to his house and well, I send Cross quite a bit, too.
” She stops talking, staring off into space as if she’s thinking about something, and shrugs. “That will probably stop soon, though.”
“Why would it end?” I ask, secretly glad. I don’t like the idea of her making food for other men.
“He’s dating Deb now. She’s a good cook. So, I won’t worry that he’s not eating good.”
“You worry about Cross?” I try to ignore the irritation in my gut, but it’s next to impossible.
“Yeah. He’s family.”
“You’re related?” I ask, instantly relaxing. “I didn’t realize that.”
“Well, we’re not—at least by blood. We’re still family, though. He’s part of the Saints Outlaws MC. He and Bear were close. Cross kept me going after I …” She stops talking as if to gather her strength. When she speaks again, I can hear the pain bleed through her words. “After I lost Bear.”
“Is Bear the reason you were so upset this morning?” I ask, knowing this is the elephant in the room. I do my best not to let the jealousy I feel be detected by Olivia. That’s the last thing she needs right now. I need to be here for her and push my own feelings to the side for now.
“I had the best dream last night. I dreamed he was with me, talking to me, holding me close. I slept better than I have in so long that I can’t even tell you.
Maybe ever … I was so happy, Lake. Then, when I opened my eyes and realized it was nothing more than a dream, I lost it.
It was like losing him all over again,” she confesses, tears beginning to fall from her eyes once more.
I pick up the tray and carefully move it back to the nightstand.
Then, I prop up the pillows behind me, leaning back on them, as I take her in my arms once more.
She gently places her head against my chest, her fingers curling into my body as she holds onto me.
“Let it out, Livy,” I push, my voice as quiet as I can make it.
“I closed my eyes recalling Bear’s laughing face.
I just needed to be back with him. It worked for a minute and then, all I could see was how he looked the last time I saw him.
He was losing blood so fast that his face was getting whiter and whiter, until it became this ghastly gray tint.
His eyes used to glow with this rich brown color and even those were fading.
I kept begging him not to leave me, but my brother and his evil buddies were laughing maniacally.
They kicked me away from Bear and then began kicking Bear.
I began bleeding. I suspected I was pregnant.
Bear and I had talked about it. We swore we’d get free.
The two of us were going to run away together and give our child a happy life.
Bear wanted to get a home on the ocean, wide open spaces, sand in our toes, and the sun on our faces.
I didn’t care as long as Bear was with me.
I thought my brother had destroyed me before that day, but I was wrong.
I was surviving until the day he took not only Bear away from me, but my child too.
That day, I gave up completely. I did whatever my brother or his evil cronies wanted, waiting for the chance to get away from them.
I let them use me. I was a walking corpse.
Nothing truly mattered to me anymore. By the time I got free, I had shut down completely.
That’s when Cross found me. Bear’s will had left me money and made sure I’d be taken care of for the rest of my life.
I didn’t care. Nothing mattered anymore.
For the most part, it still doesn’t, Lake.
There are parts of me so cold that I know I’ll never be completely warm again. ”
“You’re wrong, Livy. You’re the warmest woman I know. You love and care for everyone you let into your circle. You were even good to me after I treated you badly.”
“Lake—”
I place a hand against the side of her face and angle her so that she’s forced to look up at me. “Olivia Davis, you are the most beautiful, magnificent woman I’ve ever known. You shine a light on every single person you come into contact with.”
“I don’t—”
I shake my head, not letting her finish.
“You do. You can deny it all you want, but I know it’s true.
Hell, I’d venture to say that every person in your life would agree with me.
Hell, Blade is an asshole and you two are broken up, and he was still trying to look out for you and keep me away from you. ”
“Blade was just worried about me. He didn’t mean—”
I grin down at her. “He meant to scare me off and keep me far away from you. He just missed one important detail,” I argue.
“What’s that?” she asks, biting her lip.
“You’d already shown me your light. You let me feel your care and I’m a stubborn ass who won’t give that up.”
I watch her eyes dilate as she takes in my declaration.
I see the minute fear touches her features.
I watch an internal battle rage inside her.
I can see it all written clearly on her face.
I brace for her rejection, knowing it will hurt like hell.
It doesn’t matter. I’m not going to let it stop me.
I will break down her walls. My plan is to worm my way inside her heart.
At this point, failure is not an option, even if I have to fight a ghost.
I will claim Olivia as mine. I’m never letting her go.