Chapter Nine
“Got a minute?” Josh asked Lenore Saturday morning when he dropped off Shane at her house.
His ex stepped back. “What’d I do now?”
He answered patiently, “It’s not about you, Lenore.”
She frowned, but then she sent Shane off to put his things in his room. Once he disappeared down the long hallway, she turned to Josh again. “Okay. Hit me with it.”
“So…” Damn. Why did this feel so awkward? “The thing is, it’s getting to be time to tell Shane about the new baby. I just thought you’d maybe want a heads-up on that.”
Her expression was completely unreadable. For a moment, she didn’t speak. Finally, she asked, “When will you tell him?”
“I was thinking the next time he’s with me. I just wanted you to be aware that it was happening.”
She gave a half shrug. “I get it. I mean, one way or another he’s got to know.”
While her response was not particularly kind or understanding, at least it was calm and reasonable. Josh found he was more than a little surprised.
Lenore looked at him sideways. “What? I’m shocking you somehow?”
“No! Of course not…”
She actually laughed. “It’s okay, Josh. Life goes on, right?”
He realized that he was holding his breath. Letting it out carefully, he replied, “Yeah. It does.”
“Okay then. And do me a favor?”
“Uh, sure.”
“Don’t look at me like you’re wondering what I did with the real Lenore.”
“I’m not,” he lied.
She waved a hand. “Pfft. Truth is, I took your advice and joined a single parents’ group down in Buffalo.”
“Wow. That’s great, Lenore.”
“Yeah, well. I’ve only been to one meeting, but so far, so good. I mean, it’s time I got on with my life, you know?”
“Good for you.”
“Thanks—and wait. Are you working up to asking me to be there when you talk to Shane about the baby you’re having with Riley?”
Did she want to be there? He sincerely hoped not. “I just thought you should know what was happening, that you should be ready when Shane wants to talk about the baby with you.”
“Well, uh, thank you for that,” she muttered.
“I will do my best when Shane comes to me—but no. I have no desire to stick my nose into that particular tent.” He was just breathing a sigh of relief that he’d made it through this truly awkward conversation when she asked, “And you and Riley, are you getting married?”
Not a question he wanted to answer. But he took it on anyway. “We’re not,” he said flatly.
Lenore knew him too damn well—after all she’d been married to him once. “But you want to marry her…”
The best response to that was no response at all, and that was what he gave her. Several seconds crawled by in silence.
Lenore put up both hands. “Okay, okay. Boundaries. I get it. Sorry I asked…”
* * *
On Saturday night as Riley sat in her living room considering her streaming options once again, Annette called.
“Is Dillon in bed?” she asked.
“Yes. Sorry, I just checked on him, and he’s down for the count.”
“Ah,” said Annette. “Perfect.”
“Wait a minute. You didn’t call to talk to him?”
“Not this time. Tonight it’s my daughter-in-law I need to talk to.”
Riley turned off the TV. “Is this about Miles?”
Annette chuckled, a low, throaty sound. “As a matter of fact, yes. Miles just left.”
“Wait. What? I thought your date was last night.”
“It was last night.”
Riley was starting to get the picture. “Oh, this sounds good…”
“It is good, sweetheart. It is very, very good.”
“I need to hear everything. Are you coming over?”
“I was planning to—but right now I almost feel like a teenager again, burning up the phone lines, sharing all my secrets with my very best friend.”
Riley played along. “Oh, I like that. So how about this? You should tell me everything, and you should do it now, on the phone.”
“I believe I will.”
“So, then, dinner with Miles…?”
“First, he showed up right on time with a gorgeous bouquet from Betty’s Blooms—not just roses. Peonies. Dahlias. Lilies of the valley. Gerbera daisies, sunflowers… I could go on. But you do get the picture, right?”
“I do. It sounds so beautiful.”
“It is. And he looked so handsome, his beard neatly trimmed and his thick hair combed back, in black Wranglers, alligator boots, a suede jacket and a crisp white shirt.”
“What a guy.”
“Oh, Riley. Yes. He is all that. We chatted. He’s so easy to talk to. Dinner at Arlington’s was beautiful. We shared a bottle of excellent cabernet. I ordered a perfect tenderloin and dark chocolate mousse cake for dessert.”
“Okay, now I’m getting really hungry…”
“Oh, but the best part…”
“Tell me.”
“Well. As you’ve probably already guessed, I invited him to my house for a nightcap.”
“Of course you did.”
“We talked for hours. I didn’t want him to leave. And he said he didn’t want to go. It was three in the morning, and he was still here and…”
“Don’t you dare stop now.”
“Well…” Annette’s voice was whisper-soft. “I took his hand, and I led him up to my room. Oh, honey. I know I’ve already shared far more information than you will ever need, so I’ll stop there. Except to say that it was beautiful, and I never thought I would feel this way again.”
“I’m so glad, Annette. So happy for you…”
“At noon today I fixed him breakfast. He lingered long after he’d cleared the table.”
Riley said, “Because he didn’t want to go.”
“That is correct. He didn’t want to go and that was fine with me because I did not want him to leave.
The hours flew by. We talked and talked.
We went for a long walk, ending up on Main Street.
We strolled along looking in the shop windows, holding hands like a couple of romantic kids.
We had an early dinner at Carmelita’s. They do have the very best carne asada. ”
“Yes, they do.”
“And then we came back here to my place, and we…went upstairs again.”
Riley sighed. “So romantic.”
Annette made a thoughtful sound. “Right now I’m trying not to get ahead of myself. But I like him so much. It’s exciting being with him—and yet so comfortable, too.”
Exciting and comfortable… Riley thought of Josh and reminded herself not to. She said, “I’m so glad you let Miles know you were interested—oh, and before I forget, you’re invited out to Josh’s place for his birthday barbecue.” She shared the date and time. “Miles is welcome, too.”
“I will definitely be there. As for asking Miles, we’ll see…”
Riley hung up smiling. She almost called Josh right then.
But she stopped herself. Because things weren’t like they used to be between them. She would see him tomorrow for the ultrasound. That was soon enough.
* * *
For Josh, Monday was a banner day. He met Riley up at the hospital in Sheridan, and he got to see his daughter for the first time.
She was beautiful. He and Riley were in complete agreement on that fact. They both got emotional just watching her suck her tiny thumb.
Afterward, as they walked to his truck, he asked, “How about lunch?” And then he waited for her tell him she couldn’t, that she had to get back to the hotel.
He almost tripped over his own boots when she said, “That would be great.” She patted her increasingly round belly. “I need lunch, and I need it now.”
He laughed. Suddenly the gray day seemed a whole lot brighter. “The Cowboy Café?” he suggested.
She nodded. “Perfect.”
The café was packed, but they got a tiny table in back. They ordered buffalo burgers.
He reported, “I gave Lenore a heads-up that we’ll be telling the boys.”
Riley set down her burger and asked hesitantly, “So…how did that go?”
“Pretty well, as a matter of fact. She thanked me for letting her know.”
“Well, great.”
“And now that we’re talking about telling the boys…” He hesitated because he wasn’t sure where to start.
“Just say it, Josh.”
He forged ahead. “I have Shane with me again on Saturday. I was thinking, how about we just go for it then? You tell Dillon, I’ll tell Shane. Then if that works out okay, and the boys want to talk about it with the four of us together, we could make that happen.”
“Sure.” She sipped her iced tea. “How about if you bring Shane to my house when the four of us get together?”
“Absolutely. I think we need to play it by ear, though, depending on how it all goes.”
“That works.” She smiled.
He loved that smile of hers. He loved…every damn thing about her. This was bad. He was going to get hurt—hell, he was hurting already.
But when she smiled at him like that, he didn’t give a damn how bad he got his heart broke.
He just loved looking at her, loved that cloud of soft red hair, those wide-set sky-blue eyes, her heart-shaped face.
He missed the taste of her mouth, and he longed to get her all to himself again.
He wanted to have the right to spread his hand on her growing belly any time the mood struck…
Not going to happen, buddy, he reminded himself repeatedly.
Later, after he’d dropped her off at the hotel, he mentally ticked off all the reasons he needed to get straight with himself about this situation.
They were not lovers. Not anymore. He needed to stop having these unacceptable feelings when it came to her, needed to put all this hunger and yearning behind him.
Yeah. He should do that. He really should.
But who the hell did he think he was kidding? He knew what he felt. It was a lifetime sentence he was looking at here. He couldn’t escape it.
But he could hide from it.
And that was what he did. He avoided Riley for the rest of the week. It was just easier that way.
Saturday morning, he picked up Shane from Lenore’s and took him home. Shane went right upstairs to put his pack in his room. When he came back down, he dropped to the floor in the living room and rolled around with Roger for a while.
“Dad?” By then, Shane was stretched out on the floor with one arm thrown across Roger, who was sprawled on his side, his long, wet tongue hanging out. “Can Dillon come over?”
“We’ll see. But first, I have something to talk to you about.”
Shane rolled to his stomach and braced up on both elbows. “What?”
Josh sat on the sofa and patted the cushion beside him. “Come sit by me.”