Chapter Nine #2
Shane jumped up, scooted in behind the coffee table, clambered onto the sofa and plunked down next to Josh. Roger followed, sliding in close, propping his head on Shane’s knee. Shane petted the dog and grinned up at Josh. “Okay. Tell me.”
Josh had lain awake half the night planning what he would say. He’d worked out a whole speech that was thoughtful and sensitive, simple and clear.
Unfortunately, now that the moment of truth was upon him, his perfect little speech had flown clean out of his head.
He cleared his throat. “Well, uh…”
Shane petted the dog and stared up at Josh. “What’s wrong, Dad?”
“Nothing. Not a thing. Just…organizing my thoughts—and you know how we talked about when you were born?”
“Yeah, Dad. I remember what you told me, that I was in Mommy’s tummy and then I came out as your baby.”
Tummy? Was that the right word for it? Whatever. Josh forged on. “Yep. You were in Mommy’s tummy, and then you were born—and now you’re going to have a little sister.”
Was that too abrupt? Absolutely. Shouldn’t he be better at this stuff by now? He needed parenting classes, and he needed them yesterday.
Shane stared up at him, mouth agape. And then he shook his head. “Nah…”
“Honestly, Shane. It’s true. You’re having a sister.”
“Today?” Shane looked so earnest.
Josh forgot to be nervous as he quelled a grin. “No. It will be a while yet before your sister is born.”
“How long is a while?”
“Your sister will be born in early October. That’s about four and a half months from now.”
Shane narrowed his eyes, thinking. “October comes after September. And September is when I start kindergarten.”
“Right.”
“Dad. I’ll be in kindergarten when my sister is born.”
“Right again.”
Shane seemed to be trying out the idea out in his head. “So, Dad, if she won’t be born until October, is she in Mommy’s tummy now?”
Should he have seen that coming? Probably. He scrambled to clarify. “Uh, no. She is not in your mommy’s tummy. But just as you were before you were born, your sister is still very small, too small to be out in the world. So for a while, she is safe and growing bigger.”
“Where?”
Could he be any worse at this? “Ahem. Well, in the same way that you grew in your mom’s tummy when you were tiny, your sister is growing in Riley’s tummy.” Tummy still didn’t sound right. Should he have said womb? Somehow, womb seemed a bit advanced for a five-year-old to process.
And Shane was looking more than a little confused. “Dad. I don’t remember being in Mommy’s tummy. I really don’t.”
“That’s okay. Nobody remembers that.”
“Oh—and you said Riley has my sister in her tummy…” Shane wrinkled up his nose and shook his head. “Nah…”
Josh had a sudden urge to punch his own face. He was making a complete hash of this. But that was fatherhood. You messed stuff up, and then you soldiered on. “That’s right. Riley is your sister’s mommy, and I am your sister’s dad.”
For a moment, Shane seemed completely flummoxed, but then his eyes went wide again. “Are you and Riley getting married?”
Josh had wondered if that question would come up—and yet somehow he remained unprepared for it. “No. Riley and I are not…getting married, but we will be taking good care of your sister together. Just like your mom and I take care of you…” He hoped he looked calm and happy and confident.
Because he sure as hell didn’t feel that way. It hurt that Riley wouldn’t marry him.
In the Bravo family, they might get it wrong the first time around. But his parents, his brother, his aunts and uncles and cousins… They’d all found the real thing eventually. Would he end up the only single parent in the bunch?
Roger still had his head in Shane’s lap. Shane rubbed the dog’s floppy ear as he slanted Josh a narrow-eyed glance. “Does Dillon know that his mom is having my sister?”
At least he was ready for that one. “If Dillon doesn’t know about the new baby right now, he will very soon. Riley is telling him today, same as I’m telling you. The baby will be Dillon’s sister, too.”
Shane frowned. “Me and Dillon will have the same sister?”
“That’s right.” Josh waited for Shane to ask if that might make Dillon his brother—but apparently, the possible connection was too big a leap for a five-year-old.
Shane’s next question was, “Is the baby going to live with us?”
“At first, she will mostly live at Riley and Dillon’s house. But when she gets bigger, she will be living here with us half the time. Just like you live with your mom part of the time, and then you come and live with me, too.”
Shane was silent. He stared off toward the kitchen area—thinking or daydreaming, Josh had no idea which. Maybe for a five-year-old, they were both the same thing. Finally, Shane asked, “What will my sister’s name be?”
“We haven’t chosen a name yet.”
After that, the questions came fast.
“Will I be a big brother?”
“Will I still get all my toys?”
“Can I help take care of the baby?”
Josh answered them all to the best of his ability.
And then Shane said, “You know what, Dad? I think Dillon should come over because we got a lot to talk about.”
Josh chuckled at that. “I’ll bet you do. And I think talking with Dillon and Riley about the new baby is a good idea. Riley thinks so, too. She’s invited you and me to come to their house.”
“Now?”
“Well, I would need to call her first.”
“Okay, then. Call Riley so we can go.”
* * *
Riley would always remember that day.
It was pretty much perfect. The boys asked an endless series of questions about the sister they would finally be meeting in the fall. They both got to feel Riley’s tummy and look over the pictures from back when Riley was pregnant with Dillon.
“Wow!” Shane exclaimed. “Riley, you got as big as my mom got when she was going to have me!”
By noon, the kids had asked all their questions—at least for the moment. They were ready to move on, to get back to their usual Saturday activities.
Riley served lunch. The boys and Roger played in the backyard for a couple of hours and then went upstairs to build a Lego monster truck, a Harry Potter flying car and a city rescue boat.
Josh had hung around through all of it. Riley liked having him there—probably too much. But so what? It was a special day, a sort of celebration of the big news that the boys were going to have a sister.
Josh ordered pizza for dinner. Then the four of them and the dog watched a couple of kids’ movies together. Riley loved every minute of it. Josh seemed happy, too. Each time she glanced his way, she caught him grinning and dared to hope he’d gotten over her refusal to marry him.
The day went by too fast. All of a sudden, it was time for the boys to get ready for bed—and yes. Shane was staying the night. Dillon had asked so sweetly, and Shane was always easy to have around.
At ten that night, Riley and Josh sat on the sofa in the living room. Roger snoozed on the floor near the fireplace.
“What do you think?” Josh rested his elbow on the back of the sofa and leaned a little closer—close enough that she could see the gold flecks in his hazel eyes. “Are they asleep?”
“They have to be. It’s much too quiet up there for them to be awake—you want to go check?”
He stood and held down a hand. “Let’s go together.”
She knew that she only had to hesitate, and he would drop that offered hand.
But she didn’t hesitate. Instead, she set her hand in his. He clasped it firmly and pulled her to her feet. They ascended the stairs side by side.
At Shane’s shut door, she put a finger to her lips. Josh nodded to let her know he wouldn’t make a sound. Silently, she turned the doorknob and pushed the door halfway open.
Dillon’s airplane nightlight cast a muted glow on his sleeping form. He had the lower bunk. On the bunk above, Shane was sprawled on his back, his face turned toward the light and visible through the safety railing.
“Sound asleep,” she whispered to Josh. “Both of them.” With great care, she pulled the door shut again.
Josh kept hold of her hand as they returned to the bottom floor. She should probably have pulled away. But no. It felt too good, the connection, the warmth of his skin pressed to hers.
Downstairs, they sat on the sofa again. He let go of her hand then. She tried not to wish that he hadn’t.
“So, how are you feeling?” he asked.
Lonely, she thought. I’ve missed you so much…
But of course she didn’t say that. It would sound much too needy coming from the woman who’d refused to marry him.
“I feel great,” she said. “Honestly. No problems—those will come later. The aching back, the swollen ankles. But right now, what morning sickness I had seems to be over, and I’m not to the lumbering around stage yet. ”
The way he looked at her. It made her feel so…cherished, somehow. And beautiful. And wanted, too. She had missed that so much—wanting him, knowing that he wanted her right back…
“I’ve missed you.” There. She’d gone and said those words anyway. They’d slipped past her lips so easily.
And maybe that was okay now. After all, a month had passed since she’d turned down his proposal. There was a certain distance between them now—as there should be, she reminded herself, hating that distance even as she understood the need for it.
“I’ve missed you, too,” he said. In his eyes she saw too much. He was still hurt that she’d turned him down.
She almost said, I’m sorry.
But an apology would never fix what had gone wrong between them. He wanted more. She couldn’t let herself give more. Where were they supposed to go with that?
“I should leave,” he said.
“Please, Josh. Not yet.” Her own words shocked her. She sounded desperate. And hungry…
Because she was. Hungry for another few minutes with him. Desperate just to sit here beside him. It didn’t matter what they did. They could talk about nothing—or be quiet together. Or maybe microwave a bag of popcorn and watch a couple of episodes of Schitt’s Creek or Longmire…
He studied her face. “What? You want to talk…?”
“Josh, I just want you to stay a little bit longer.”