Chapter Thirteen #2
Sometimes she would look at him like she wanted to kiss him, and he would just know that eventually they would work it out.
And then there were those times she would give him that certain smile, the one that seemed to say she thought of him when he wasn’t around.
The one that made him feel he was special to her—and not just as her very good friend with on-and-off benefits.
That smile said she wanted him as much as he wanted her, and he would find himself getting his hopes up again.
But she never made a move, never suggested that she might secretly yearn to spend the rest of her life with him. She held out against loving him as though holding out was a good thing, a noble thing. He just didn’t get it.
So he was careful to keep his longing to himself. She’d shut him down once already. And now she gave no indication that things could change between them.
It was a fantasy that they would one day end up making a family together. And this was the real world where fantasies did not come true.
* * *
Three weeks after Riley fell down the stairs, Josh drove her to her regular physical therapy appointment in Sheraton. She’d insisted that she could drive herself.
But he wanted to take her, and he told her so. “Come on,” he coaxed. “You know how much I love ferrying you around.”
“Yeah, right. I’m sure it’s a whole lot of fun for you.”
“It is. Let’s go.”
She walked out to his crew cab without limping. By then, she no longer used the walker. She still wore an ankle brace off and on, though.
When they got there, Josh sat out in the reception area while Riley worked with the therapist. Once they were headed back home, she reported that she would be transitioning from her ankle brace to a less restrictive ankle sleeve for any time she felt she needed support.
“I am killing it when it comes to my recovery,” she announced.
He stuck out his hand and she high-fived it.
In Medicine Creek, they stopped at Bright Beginnings. It was Josh’s week with Shane, so they picked up both boys.
Shane and Dillon bickered all the way to the house. When they got there, Josh called a time-in upstairs in Dillon’s room.
A time-in was a gentler version of the classic time-out.
For five minutes, no words were used. The boys were given the choice to simply sit quietly or choose a book to look at while they calmed down.
After that, they talked, which consisted of them complaining about each other for a couple of minutes.
Then Josh asked them each to say their favorite thing about the other. Silence.
But finally, Shane volunteered, “He shares. Mostly.”
Dillon agreed that Shane shared, too.
Josh asked them if they were ready for a hug. They scowled at each other, but only for a few seconds.
Then Dillon said, “Okay, yeah. I am ready for a hug.”
Shane gave in then and agreed that he was ready for a hug, too.
A little later, the two went out in the backyard with Roger, where they threw Roger his ball and bounced around on the trampoline.
In the house, Josh brought Riley up to speed on the boys. “Crisis resolved,” he said. “At least for now.”
“Good.” She gave him a weary little smile. “They argue and needle each other a lot lately.”
“Yeah, but they always make up. They fight, but most of the time they seem closer than ever.”
“They do,” she agreed. “They really do.”
That night, Riley served slow-cooked chicken with heavy cream, sun-dried tomatoes, parmesan cheese and what she called her “secret spice blend.” Their bickering forgotten, the boys set the table. Riley got the pasta going, and Josh cut up a salad.
When they sat down, Josh suggested they make a toast to Riley and the great job she’d done to heal her injured ankle.
“We’re having toast?” asked Shane.
Josh explained the special kind of toast he was talking about. And then Riley got three cans of sparkling raspberry water from the fridge. Josh had a whiskey and soda. The boys raised their cans high, announcing, “Get well, Riley!” and “Go, Mom!”
Later the four of them played a rousing game of Spot It.
It was a great evening, Josh thought. He really liked where things were going lately. They might not actually be a family—not yet. But the past few days he’d let himself get his hopes up again that eventually they just might become one.
Eight o’clock came around too soon. Riley read the boys a story, and Josh tucked them in.
Once the lights were out, Josh whispered, “Good night, you guys.”
Shane yawned. “’Night, Dad.”
And Dillon said, “’Night, Josh…”
In the dog bed a few feet away, Roger wagged his tail. Josh went over there and gave him a quick scratch behind the ears before slipping out the door and pulling it silently closed behind him.
Across the square of upstairs hallway, Riley stood in the open doorway to her room. Her eyes were soft as a summer sky. He drank in the sight of her, his gaze slowly straying downward from her unforgettable face framed by that soft halo of red hair to her two bare feet planted firmly on the floor.
“They give you any trouble?” she asked in a hushed tone.
“Nope. All bickered out—at least for tonight.”
“Well, that’s a relief.”
“Tell me about it.”
Silence—one that was heavy with all the things they didn’t say. In the quiet, he longed for so much, for everything she claimed she couldn’t give.
“Josh…” She glanced away, then back.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Honestly.” And then the impossible happened.
She held out her hand.
He was across the hallway and wrapping his fingers around hers in one second flat. “Talk to me.”
She tipped her head toward the room behind her. “Josh…” And then she was backing up, pulling him along with her.
Once he was over the threshold, he reached behind him, guided the door shut and turned the privacy lock. She kept going, walking carefully backward.
“Your ankle…” he warned.
“It’s okay,” she replied as she reached the bed and sat down.
He turned around and sat beside her. “You look so serious,” he said. “Whatever’s wrong, it can’t be that bad.”
“It’s not bad, Josh. Honestly, it’s not bad at all.
I listened to you tucking the boys in, and I thought about how amazing you are—always.
But especially lately. I thought about how awful it would have been without you the past few weeks, thought about how much I miss the way it was not so long ago during our secret, never-ending fling.
The truth is, you’re the best friend any girl could ever have… ”
“For you, anything.” He squeezed her hand. “Anything, anytime. Whatever you need, I’m on it. I mean that.”
“I keep saying thank you. I know it’s not enough…”
He pulled her closer and wrapped an arm around her. What was he supposed to say here? Did she expect a cheerful what are friends for? Oh hell no. This—what they had, what they’d become to each other over the years—it was more than friendship. It was everything. How could she not see that?
She laid her head on his shoulder. He couldn’t resist pressing his lips into her soft hair and breathing in her sweet scent.
“I shouldn’t have lured you in here,” she said.
“Lured?” He couldn’t help chuckling. “I’ve been lured?”
She gave him a nudge. “What? There’s a better word?”
He kissed her again, a quick press of his lips at her temple. “Nah. Lured will do. And now you’ve got me here, what’s next?”
She heaved a big sigh. “Well, I really should send you off to the rollaway.”
“Yeah,” he baldly lied. “You probably should…”
“But you’re just too wonderful.” She tipped her head back and met his eyes.
He dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose. “I try.”
Her eyes held his. “I don’t want to send you away.”
“Riley.”
“Hmm?”
“Not being sent away? That works for me.”
“Oh, Josh, I keep reminding myself that there are certain lines we need to be careful not to cross.”
“Of course you do. And how’s that working out for you, Riley Jane?”
She hesitated—and then sidestepped his question. “We’re here in the same house,” she said. “And yet in some ways, I miss you all the time.”
He knew exactly what she meant. “I feel the same…”
“And tonight, I just want you here, in this room with me for a little while. I want that so much.”
“Did you get the impression that I was objecting? I’m not. I want it, too.”
“You sure?” she asked.
“I am,” he replied.
“Then stay…for a little while?”
“Yes.”
She sighed again as her smile bloomed wide. “I’m so glad.” And then her soft expression changed, became focused—even a little bit desperate. “You should kiss me now.”
“Whatever you want.”
“Kiss me…”
And he did, swooping down to claim her mouth, catching her lower lip between his teeth, worrying it gently as he guided her back across the bed.
“Oh, Josh…” She breathed his name against his lips.
It was everything to him, to be here on her bed with her again, to hold her close, to hear her say his name with heat and urgency.
At last.
Holding her, kissing her, undressing her as she returned the favor—it was so good. It was everything he needed, all that he longed for.
And she was every bit as eager as he was, unbuttoning his shirt, shoving it off over his shoulders, trailing those soft hands down his chest, sighing against his lips.
“I’ve missed you like this,” she whispered. “Missed you so much…”
He was all over her, too, taking off her shirt, getting rid of her bra. Her breasts were fuller. And her belly…
“So beautiful,” he said, cradling that fine roundness between both his hands.
“It’s only going to get bigger,” she warned with a grin, her fingers combing through his hair, a chuckle escaping her.