Chapter 5
Monday, January 23, 2017
Snow instead of rain clouds would’ve been a pleasant change of pace. The gray, rainy days were getting old. Fast.
Katrina’s giggles and chatter reached me from where I was sitting at the kitchen island, a mug of vanilla chai tea in hand. It made me smile. So did the slew of kicks and ninja-like moves the baby had been pummeling me with since my morning shower. I guessed the warm water didn’t just give me energy. Did it drive me nuts? Yes, but I wouldn’t trade the feeling for anything in the world, and I knew once the baby was born, I would miss it all. Being pregnant. The movements. Hearing the soothing notes of their heart.
I placed my palm along my lower belly, like I was cradling it, softly humming one of the many songs stuck inside my head, moving my head gently to its slowed beat. Its lyrics told of a night when two people met, but unlike the singer expressing to go back to that night, I thought of the night Dominic and I met, though it was a moment I preferred not to revisit. I preferred us now, not the tension and hostility of the past.
When I first woke up to him in my life, uncertainty had filled me. Dominic had clearly wished his boss had never dropped me into his life, and there had been a silent war raging in his mind and body. Now, when I woke up and rolled over, there lay the man in whose arms I felt safest. There was no more coldness. Only the warmth of my one true love.
We had come so far. Won against all odds. What we had endured together would’ve had women screaming and running for the hills. It only made our bond tighter and stronger. A life without Dominic wasn’t an option.
The sound of my niece’s hurried footsteps took me out of my moment, and so did one of our kitchen staff dropping a stainless-steel mixing bowl onto the floor.
“Hi, Lulu!” Katrina greeted excitedly as she rounded the entrance to the kitchen. Hands behind her, she skipped to me. “Can we play with my Barbies today?” With a smile, she did her little twist, making her dress billow some at its hem.
I lightly tapped the bulb of her nose, causing her to giggle. “Sure, honey. We can play with them down here in the sunroom.” As she nodded, Dino appeared in the entryway.
Barefoot in a simple white shirt and jeans, Dino greeted me, a relaxed smile following. “What’s good, Lil?”
She rushed to her uncle, and he scooped her up and swung her above him for a moment as she laughed, like he was going to playfully toss and catch her. She clung to him as he stepped foot into the room.
“Just wish the weather wasn’t so blah,” I said. I left the kitchen island and walked over to the sink to empty the rest of my now-cooled tea.
“Can Dino play with us too, Lulu?”
Rinsing my mug, I nodded and then turned off the water. “If he wants to.” I set my mug in the sink and turned around, drying my hands with the dish towel.
“Wanna play Barbies with us, Uncle Dino?”
He arched his brow at her, leaving me silently amused. I could tell playing with dolls wasn’t the kind of relaxed afternoon he had in mind, but making his niece happy was more important.
“Sure,” he said. He set Katrina down, saying, “Why don’t you go gather your toys?” He gave her back a quick pat as she began bee-lining for the hall.
“Okay!”
To our amusement, Katrina was gone before either of us could count to two.
I set the towel on the counter, telling Dino, “Don’t worry. I’ll create a diversion where you can escape.”
He cracked a smile, his expression telling me he had this. He waved his hand dismissively.
“Nah, it’s all good. This’ll be easier than pretending to enjoy the taste of air at one of her tea parties.”
I laughed while Dino grabbed a soda from the refrigerator and pulled open its tab.
“No errands to run today?” I asked.
Dino followed me back to the island, both of us leaning against it. We watched the staff continue to work, finishing putting away dried dishes and gathering what they’d need for the afternoon. It was still slightly weird having any sort of staff handling our meals and just handling anything else. I had been so used to Nadia doing all this. Hell, our new, more lavish kitchen was something I still wasn’t used to, either.
White was the main color chosen for the kitchen, the picture window at the sink giving off a homey feel, sun shining through, lighting up the gray, granite-like tiles. The view wasn’t anything spectacular; just some of the front lawn and a peek at the street with the kitchen set more in the far right corner of the mansion.
Black granite countertops surrounded our six-burner electric stove. The same granite was used for the island that sat four comfortably. Our more everyday appliances like the coffee maker, toaster, and blender stood spread out in their spots along both sides of the counter. The collection of flavored syrups, various sugars, and necessary silverware at the coffee maker gave it all a nice touch.
Our appliances were mainly stainless steel here, too. The only real difference with our major appliances were their sizes. Everything was bigger. Grander. The refrigerator was wider, still with double doors, but this one contained extra storage space and a touch screen that controlled the water and ice dispenser and allowed us to see everything inside. To the right of the refrigerator was the door to the pantry. Inside the pantry was where we kept another wide refrigerator to hold blood bags, and then a chest freezer that primarily stored our meats… Both animal and human. Those were organized separately.
White-painted wooden cabinetry stretching below the long counter and mostly above it was a fitting choice. So was our stack of two matching stainless-steel ovens at the far left end of the counter.
“Nothing that can’t be done from the office.” Dino took a sip of soda. “Dom would just send out one of his soldiers, anyway.”
The burp he let out next was gross but impressive. The way Luigi gave Dino the stink eye made us laugh, erasing the momentary sting of missing Nadia.
Speaking of soldiers, was I still considered one now that Hector had passed? Since being sworn in as one, life hadn’t been much different regarding sitting in on more meetings and being active with outside tasks. The only change was fighting alongside the family, but that was unavoidable in both circumstances. I didn’t miss having to go toe to toe with Fabio and Vincent, that was for damn sure, but I had become curious from time to time about what it would be like to go out on hits or just scope out someone before an assignment. Would I ever get either chance? Did Dominic plan to up my rank to say, a capo? I knew I would never become his new underboss, and that was fine. No one else but Dino deserved such a precious spot.
That was a conversation we desperately needed to have.
“Hey, Dino?”
“Hmm?”
I looked at him to see him chugging another sip of soda. “Do you think Dominic plans to keep me as just a soldier?”
Dino moved away from the island and gestured with his hand for me to follow him. He placed his palm on my back as he led us out of the kitchen, saying, “This way.”
Of course, no business discussion was permitted around the kitchen and cleaning staff. Duh.
We slowly walked down the hall toward the foyer. It was nice not having to wade through a bunch of men milling about. Unlike Hector, Dominic didn’t want a lot of them hanging around here all day, every day. It came down to privacy.
The change was easily agreed upon by me and our brothers.
“I’m not sure what he wants to do about that. If it were up to me, I’d have already promoted you, but I know the main man’s got a lot on his plate lately. Stick it out a bit longer, then bring it up.”
If I could take away all the weight from Dominic’s shoulders, I would have already.
There was no easy way to ask the one question swimming in my head since we lost Thomas. I hoped his position would stay vacant. Even if one of Dominic’s men earned such a spot, it wouldn’t feel right to replace Thomas. The brotherhood between them made their positions sacred. Dominic didn’t trust anyone else like he did his brothers, not even me. Along with Thomas, every bit of trust and loyalty among us was earned. Fought for. It wouldn’t feel right to just put anyone else in that spot. I was sure that there was a silent, mutual consensus within our group.
“Does he plan to put anyone else in Thomas’s place?”
Shaking his head, Dino said, “Not for the foreseeable future.”
Oh, thank God.
As we approached the end of the hall, Katrina bolted past us, her Barbies in her arms. Dino chuckled, removing his hand from my back.
“Looks like someone’s ready to play,” I said, amused.
“When is she ever not?”
I laughed. “Good point.” Dominic continued to linger on my mind. “Where is Dominic, anyway?”
“In his office with his mother,” Dino said as we walked further into the foyer. “He wanted to talk to her today.”
Oh? Dominic never mentioned anything about that. I hoped everything was alright.
“They must’ve got lost in conversation or something,” Dino added.
Suddenly, I wanted to be Dominic’s support rather than play with dolls. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to play with Katrina, per se, but I didn’t want Dominic facing any potential demons of his past alone. If he told me to go away, I would respect that and come back downstairs.
I got Dino’s attention and leaned in close to his ear. “Tell Katrina I had to make a quick detour.”
He nodded once and went off to join her in the living room while I ventured upstairs.
Taking a right, I headed a few feet through the upstairs hallway toward Dominic’s office. I loved how wide and spacious his new office was; mountains better than at our old place.
Sorry, Hector.
Beyond its black, double doors, a stunning black and red epoxy floor stood out the most within the rich brown and creamy beige walls and ceiling. The splashes of red on the floor made it almost resemble blood splatter. Two black cushioned sofas sat across each other with a glass coffee table between, and two darkened beige leather armchairs angled toward each other just past the sofas. A white area rug was beneath the coffee table. Off to the right of the furniture was a pool table with a replica of Van Gogh’s Starry Night on that wall, and off to the left side of that half of the room sat Dominic’s prized possession—his Fazioli baby grand piano. A tall and wide bookshelf was anchored to the wall where the piano was, containing some classic literature, and paperweights designed to look like famous composers such as Bach and Chopin were spread out randomly on those shelves.
Up ahead of the seating area was a single step leading to Dominic’s executive desk and matching black, high-back leather chair. The desk’s oak was stained a mix of rich walnut and cherry. His desktop computer was toward the left corner of the desk with minimal paperwork, a desk lamp, and a landline phone also filling up some of its space. A Beethoven paperweight held his paperwork secure. His nameplate, reading his first and last name, sat proudly on the desk. Off to the left of his desk was a medium, round, oak table with three wide barrel leather chairs, the chairs a dark gray. On the other side of that upper half of the room was a mini-bar, complete with a glass shelf full of alcohol and different wines, along with storage for the drinkware and a built-in sink.
Behind Dominic’s desk was an eighty-inch television mounted to the wall.
I knocked on the door, choosing not to just barge in. Hearing him tell me to come in, I opened the door and poked my head through. Dominic and his mother sat on the sofas across from each other, a glass of water in her hand and a smaller glass of golden, honey-colored alcohol in his. Probably his usual glass of Walker.
Dominic appeared relaxed, sitting back against the sofa, while Bianca, on the other hand, leaned forward a bit, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. She put her glass of water on a coaster on the table.
“I’m sorry. Did I interrupt?—”
Dominic waved his hand for me to enter the room. “Come, join us.”
I pulled the door closed behind me and joined Dominic, sitting beside him. While I came up here because I wanted to be a support for Dominic to lean on, seeing Bianca teary-eyed made me feel awkward, like I didn’t belong in here after all. If Dominic changed his mind and sent me away, I wouldn’t hesitate to respect that.
Bianca sniffed, wiping her nose. “I’m so sorry, Dominic. I never stopped loving you. I wanted to make sure you knew that.”
I had given Bianca that benefit of the doubt; she may have shut down in her marriage purely out of survival instinct and wound up shutting out her son as a result, but my gut and my heart told me she never loved her son any less throughout the abuse.
As Dominic sipped on his drink—the scent telling me it was indeed a glass of Walker—I rested my hand on his and laced our fingers together, gently squeezing his hand to let him know I was here for him.
“I know,” was all he said. His tone didn’t give anything away, but I assumed he may have felt slightly awkward with it all now that I was here. Bianca was more desperate than him to repair their broken bond, and Dominic had never been good with talking about feelings and emotions.
“Please forgive me,” she continued. “No child deserves the kind of mother I was. I failed to protect you.” She paused, swallowing back more tears. “But I promise… I won’t anymore.” Bianca stood up from the sofa.
Assuming she was leaving because of me, I began to say, “Please don’t leave on my account,” but my words went in one ear and out the other as she stepped in front of her son, holding his face in her palms. Dominic tensed at her sudden touch. I gently squeezed his hand again to let him know it was okay. That he was safe.
“I don’t care what you are now or what you do. You’ll always be my ragazzino .” She briefly stared at him, smiling through fresh tears that dripped down her face, like she admired the man he became. She then swept her fingers through some of his hair. “I’m so proud of you.” She leaned in, kissing his forehead. She backed away and then wiped her eyes and nose, sniffing. “I know I have a lot of work to do, and I’m ready to do it.”
After an uncomfortable beat of silence, Bianca looked at the door and then again at us. “I-I’ll just go.”
Dominic freed his hand from mine, setting his drink on the table and standing up. Placing his hand on the small of her back, I watched in silence while he led her to the door. He opened the door a crack, telling his mother he couldn’t yet forgive her.
“I needed you all those years ago,” he added. “And I didn’t have you. So, understand why I’m hesitant to forgive you, let alone fully trust you again.”
Dominic’s anger crept into his words, sneaking up on him. My mind went back to that night weeks ago, the image of him falling to his knees in defeat, crying a river of tears. Momentarily closing my eyes while silently drawing in a breath, I opened my eyes as that breath left me.
“I needed you, Mamma.” His hurt over her betrayal couldn’t be masked.
I placed my hand on my chest, my breath sticking. Mamma… He called her Mamma. Whether he completely understood it or not, that was a giant step forward for Dominic and their relationship.
He opened the door the rest of the way, beginning to guide Bianca out into the hallway. She stopped just past the office’s threshold, looking back at her son.
“I’m not going anywhere ever again. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”
Nodding once, Dominic followed her out of his office, closing the door.