Chapter 36
Flutters and flickers of light became splotches and then a white ceiling—a familiar one.
“Welcome back,” said a calm, tender voice.
I took deep, careful breaths, assessing my situation the best I could under the thin haze. I slowly turned my head, discovering hospital equipment and cords. An IV line traced back to my hand, tape keeping the line in place. A clip was attached to my hand, and cords stretched across my body, connecting to the sticky pads on my chest. Scanning my surroundings, I noticed my right hand was clear of any cords and clips.
I recognized this room—its door, sink, and counter. I fell asleep here.
I almost died here.
My son!
Panic rose. The beeping sped up. My heart leapt into my throat. Before I could move, someone rested their hands on my shoulder, keeping me in place.
“It’s alright,” said that sweet voice again. Looking up, I spotted Julie hovering over me. She pointed to something, and that was when I caught sight of Dominic sleeping on the long, cushioned chair for guests at the left side of the room. He, too, had a blanket draped over him.
“My son?” I asked, my voice raspy on account of my parched throat. I began to lift my right hand to rub my throat. It felt as if I swallowed tacks or something.
I blinked and tried to look away at the sudden burst of light in my eyes. Julie put her small flashlight in her coat pocket and fetched me a cup of water from the sink, walking back to the bed with it. She put her hand behind my head and helped me take a sip, the cold water refreshing.
“Vincenzo is sound asleep, just like his daddy.”
As she checked the sticky pads on my chest and checked over me as a whole, I looked again at an area across the room Julie previously pointed out to me, my eyes fixated on the bundle wrapped in a blanket wearing a blue hat.
My baby boy.
I breathed a sigh of sheer relief, keeping my focus on Vincenzo. “What happened to me?”
“You don’t remember?” Julie questioned while lifted my gown.
When I shifted my attention to Julie, I noticed my belly was still somewhat bloated. I winced slightly when she adjusted my blanket.
“It’s not surprising you don’t remember much. You had quite the ordeal.”
“It hurts,” I said mindlessly, briefly closing my eyes.
I sensed Julie step around the bed toward me, and then, I heard a click.
“I gave you some analgesia for your pain.” I felt her slide something under my left hand. Loosely clutching it, I opened my eyes, slowly looking down at what she’d given me. “Just press that button at the top whenever you feel you need some relief.”
I studied the small, gray object in my hand. With the fogginess of the waning anesthesia, my ability to focus was hindered. My body was sluggish, and my eyes were tired. It was easier to stare at the clicker in my hand than at anything or anyone else.
“You had to have emergency surgery to save yours and your son’s life.”
“A c-section?”
“No. While I did have to cut you open, you delivered your son vaginally. Thankfully, the rupture was incomplete. That’s what saved both your lives.”
Was I going to be okay? Was my son one-hundred percent okay? Rupture?
“A rupture?”
“Your uterus ruptured. We ended up having to give you a blood transfusion. It was scary for a few minutes, but like Dominic has stated before, you’re quite the fighter, Lilith.”
I suddenly stared at my fiancé, overcome with emotion. A tidal wave of sadness rushed through me, and before I knew it, I was crying. It was coming back to me: the look on his face as I delivered our son. The fear. Worry. Wondering if I’d make it through. I couldn’t remember if I said anything nasty. I hoped I didn’t, and if I did, he hopefully understood that pain made a person say crazy things.
Julie put her hand on my shoulder again.
“Oh, Lilith,” she said, her tone sympathetic. “Sometimes things happen that we have no control over, but just know you and your son are healthy and thriving. We’re all so proud of you.”
I sniffed. “Thank you.”
Just then, Dominic opened his eyes. He lazily lifted his head, clearly coming out of a heavy sleep. The second we locked eyes, it was as if any and all energy had rushed back into him. He sprang upright, flung his blanket off him, and nearly tripped over his feet running to my bedside. Julie quickly moved out of his way, standing at the foot of the bed.
Dominic scooped up my hand and smothered it with kisses, then began to do the same to my face. The sheer relief that I made it out alive was unmistakable in his eyes and features.
“Now, don’t expect her to be one hundred percent yet,” Julie innocently reminded Dominic. “She’s still fighting off the anesthesia.”
Dominic never strayed his eyes from mine. “Thank you for everything, Julie. You went above and beyond and will be rewarded substantially.”
Julie put her hand over her heart, graciously taken aback, smiling. “Thank you both for letting me be here, and I always go above and beyond for my patients.”
I squeezed Dominic’s hand the best I could, looking at him with fresh tears in my eyes.
“I want to hold my son. Please.”
After everything, all I wanted to do for a while was hold and cuddle Vincenzo.
While Dominic gently and carefully helped me readjust against the bed so I was properly sitting up, I closely watched Julie with anticipation as she lifted Vincenzo into her arms. One of his chubby little arms peeked out from the blanket he was swaddled in. He hardly made any noise as she carried him over to me.
“Look at him,” I whispered, awestruck. My chest tightened. “Oh, my gosh.” I let go of the clicker and weakly lifted my arm, reaching for him. Dominic held our baby steady the moment Julie placed him on my chest.
Sitting here, taking in such a precious sight, it was all worth it. The pain. The blood, sweat, and tears.
I remembered how it all started at zero: small twists and tightening. And then, with the snap of a finger, it skyrocketed to one hundred. It was like flashes of red, orange, and white were closing in on me inside of a tunnel that seemed to shrink, threatening to crush me. The beginning of a tsunami that pulled a person under and threw them around like a ragdoll without the chance to breach the surface and capture that one lifesaving breath. And then, the tunnel exploded into a gorgeous merger of yellow, orange, and violet flames.
Vincenzo squirmed and fussed some as he woke, curling and uncurling his chubby fingers.
Softly shushing him, I kissed his forehead. “I love you so much.” Beautiful, blue eyes stared back at me as his eyelids fluttered open. As I continued to stare, riveted by him, I noticed his left eye was a brighter, more intense blue like his daddy’s eyes, while the other eye seemed about two shades lighter. “Look,” I told Dominic and Julie.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Dominic said, examining our son’s peculiar feature. “I’ve never seen that before.”
“Is he okay?” I asked him and the nurse, wanting to make sure this wasn’t dangerous for our son.
“He’s a tough little guy—passed every one of his tests,” Julie said. “It’s called heterochromia. I’ve never seen it in a person either, but it’s one of those random bits of information I remember from the medical books.”
“He’s beautiful,” Dominic said, brushing his fingers against Vincenzo’s cheek.
We both stared in amazement at this new life we created. The one I almost died for.
“How does it feel?” I asked Dominic, looking at him to find tears glossing over his eyes. His lips parted like he was about to say something before he drew in a shaky ghost of a breath.
“Incredible,” he declared. A teardrop snuck out, trickling the speed of a snail down his cheek.
I brushed the pad of my thumb against his cheek. “What’s wrong?” Remembering Julie was still in the room, I politely asked her if she could spare us a few minutes alone. After quickly making sure Vincenzo and I were all set, she left the room.
As soon as the door latch settled into place, Dominic sucked in a sharper, more unstable breath. He blinked away tears.
“ Bellissima … What you did… I’ll forever admire your strength and your courage.” He swallowed the frog in his throat. I cupped his cheek. “I almost lost you.” He looked at his son. “Both of you.”
I didn’t know what to say. The pressure of tears burned behind my eyes.
“I love you so much,” he said, leaning in close and kissing me. He stared into my eyes, sweeping his hand across my cheek. “You’re so beautiful and incredible. You’re my hero.”
“I love you, too, Dominic.” I nuzzled into his touch, staring down at our son.
“I don’t ever want to lose you,” he softly spoke. “Without you…” He let his thoughts trail.
“You won’t lose me,” I stated as I looked back at him.
Closing his eyes, he kissed my cheek, his eyes opening again as he pulled away.
“ Potrei guardarti tutto il giorno ; I could look at you all day.” His velvety, illustrious Italian tongue danced with my heart. “Your strength is something I wish I carried. It takes a special kind of woman to have your fire. To have your courage and love. Amor di madre, amore senza limiti ; a mother’s love has no limits.”
Vincenzo began to make fussy little noises, and when I gazed down at him, his face was scrunched up, his little fist jerking around in the air.
I took off his light blue cap, skimming my fingertips over his red hair. He had a full head of it. That explained the heartburn.
“He has a little of each of us,” I observed.
My hair. His daddy’s nose.
As Dominic brought his fingers to his son’s hand, Vincenzo wrapped his fingers around Dominic’s index finger.
The love and admiration in Dominic’s eyes for his baby boy was an image I’d never forget.
I kissed Vincenzo’s hair. He yawned, his sweet noises following.
“We love you so much.”
Vincenzo Matteo Rosini
Born: 06/16/2017
Time: 11:30 A.M.
Weight: 10.5 lbs
Length: 22 in.