Chapter 15
I’m so tired but staying up to watch that game on some janky ass internet stream was SO worth it.
You killed it!
Frankie couldn’t put how she felt into words.
The entire evening had been a whirlwind, from the moment she slid her suit jacket on to the moment the buzzer sounded at the end of the hockey game.
The game her team had won with a score of two to zero. One of the goals, the first goal their team had ever scored, was a power play and she had been the person who coordinated the entire thing.
Surreal was the only word she could use to describe any of it and as incredible as the victory was, how proud she was of the players and the other staff members, the thing that Frankie couldn’t stop thinking about the most was Jules looking at her from across the ice after the power play goal was scored.
The smile on her face, the pride, the absolute joy in her eyes – Frankie didn’t know if anyone had ever looked at her that way before in her entire life.
Sure, maybe Jules was only reacting to the fact that her brother, the captain of the team, had scored the goal because that was an incredible accomplishment.
If Cam were Frankie’s brother, she would be ecstatic, but there was something in the way the look lingered for longer than it needed to, the way Jules radiated a warmth that even in a cold hockey arena and across a sheet of ice, Frankie could feel.
She wasn’t crazy.
Something was there between them, impossible to ignore whenever she looked at Jules, whenever they were in the same room, and she didn’t think she was the only person who felt it.
The dressing room after the game was chaotic to put it lightly.
There were empty electrolyte bottles scattered across the floor, a table covered in half eaten bananas and protein bars, and the celebratory music was so loud that Frankie almost couldn't hear Neil, their head coach, speaking to her in the doorway after the initial congratulations on the win had spread throughout the room.
“What a night, eh?”
Frankie grinned as she leaned against the wall and took in the scene. “Hard to believe, if I’m honest.”
Neil smiled and he gave her shoulder a squeeze, the kind of gentle recognition a proud father might give their child. “Believe it, kid. It’s going to be one hell of a ride and next time we get to do it on our own ice at home.”
Forty five minutes later, an Uber dropped Frankie off outside the restaurant the team’s management had selected for its inaugural game celebration.
She double checked her reflection in the restaurant’s front window, her blue pantsuit and black heeled boots traded for more casual black slacks with a thin grey blazer and a cabernet coloured silk blouse tucked in at the waist, paired with a pair of black leather loafers.
She knew she looked good, not that she was trying to impress anyone.
Except she absolutely was trying to impress someone and she felt a nervous flutter in her stomach as she slipped her hand into the pocket of her blazer to wrap her fingers around a hockey puck.
“Hey, there she is!” Travis Baker, the Harbour’s starting goalie said as a hostess led Frankie to a large section of the space separated from the rest of the patrons by a frosted glass partition. “Coach Stevens!”
Players on the team were seated around a room full of tables alongside their loved ones and other staff members who all made the trip for the first game of the season.
Frankie smiled and scanned the room, her eyes landing on Jules at a table next to Cam, right winger Mason Cooper, and a brunette woman Mason had introduced to her at the practice rink one afternoon as his fiancé, Charlie.
With a soft little smile and a slight wave, Jules signalled her over to their table and given she had no family of her own to celebrate with that evening, Jules was exactly who she wanted to be with.
“Hi,” Jules said, her eyes dropping to Frankie’s shoes before they moved back up her body, settling on her face. “You look amazing. I thought the pantsuit was a great look but…I really like this.”
Her cheeks warmed with a blush. “Oh, thanks.”
”Coach,” Cam said, raising his glass in her honour. “That was one hell of a play tonight. From the practice rink to the big times.”
Frankie reluctantly tore her gaze from one Clarke twin to the other and laughed a little, nodded in thanks as she slipped into the vacant seat beside Jules.
“It feels like you’re our secret weapon or something,” Cam added. “And don’t worry about the chirping you might’ve heard from those Boston dicks as they skated past our bench. I told ‘em to shove the gender bias up their fucking ass and get with the times.”
“Oh my god,” Jules groaned, rubbing her temples. “Such a way with words…”
“He’s right to say it,” Mason agreed. “I don’t get why people have such a problem with it. It’s just a job, if you’re good at it then you’re good at it.”
“And you’re good at it,” chimed Charlie from across the table. “It was so inspiring to see you behind the bench.”
The blush on Frankie’s cheeks from the compliment Jules gave her only deepened as she sat with the praise from the people around her.
Their conversation naturally moved on to something else but Frankie could see Jules watching her from the corner of her eye. She leaned in close and bumped her shoulder against Frankie’s.
If Jules thought Frankie looked good, she was underestimating her own appearance. Her blonde hair was a little wavier than usual and she was dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans and a white striped blue button down shirt with a crème coloured cardigan.
Frankie tried her best to keep her eyes from lingering too long or risk being caught staring in a very unprofessional way but Jules had left the top two buttons of her shirt open and from where Frankie was seated as Jules leaned into her, the edge of a white lace bralette was visible against peach skin.
She swallowed back a silent groan at the sight of it and took a deep breath to settle a sudden bout of anxious nerves.
“Charlie is right, you know. Seeing you do your thing tonight was incredible,” Jules whispered. “It was honestly pretty hard to look away.”
“Yeah?” Frankie asked, not knowing how else to respond as she looked at Jules, admiring her soft features and the light pink shade of gloss that coated her full lips.
“Absolutely. You should be really proud, and I hope you’d still feel that way even if the result was a loss.”
“I think I’d be pissed.”
“I would be pissed on your behalf,” Jules teased. “But I wondered – ” She narrowed her eyes and looked around at the people filling the large dining area. “None of your family were able to make the trip for your coaching debut?”
It was a question Frankie expected someone to ask eventually and she was surprised it had taken this long to come up in conversation, but she wasn’t surprised by the fact that it was Jules, concern and sympathy clear as day in her eyes, who was the one to broach the topic.
In a room full of family and loved ones, Frankie was, objectively, alone and she hadn’t been willing to admit to herself yet how the reality of it actually felt, how it cut deep.
If she did acknowledge it, she would be undoing years of work, years of accepting the finality of knowing nothing would ever change. Her family had made their mind up about her a long time ago and all she could do was move on and become everything she needed to be, all on her own.
“Ah, yeah,” Frankie said, looking down her hands, unable to hold Jules' curious stare. “Unfortunately the trip didn’t work for them this time but they were all really sad to miss it.”
She didn’t know why she felt the need to lie, but she supposed it was easier to shrug it off right now than it was to open herself up and bare the scars of old wounds that had healed a long time ago.
Maybe there would come a time when dredging up her past was worth the pain that knowingly came with it but that day was not today.
“I’m sorry, that must be really disappointing for you but hey…you know what?”
Frankie finally looked up again to find Jules smiling at her and the sight of it filled her with relief, because what she’d come to know about Jules was that she seemed to know when to leave something alone and hold her curiosity.
“What?”
“Tonight you have me and I’m honestly pretty amazing company.”
And that was a truth Frankie couldn’t deny.
They held each other's stare for a long moment before breaking into a fit of hushed laughter, not wanting to draw attention to themselves but Frankie glanced around to see if anyone noticed just to be safe.
Satisfied that the people surrounding them were lost in their own conversations, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the puck.
”I know it’s kind of silly but…this is for you. You asked me for it and I didn’t want to let you down.”
It felt even sillier to borrow a silver permanent marker from the equipment manager before they left the arena earlier in the evening and scribbling the little inscription followed by her autograph, knowing it was done especially for Jules, made her feel oddly self-conscious.
Even if it was only meant as a fun gift, something you’d give a supportive friend to mark a special occasion, Frankie couldn’t help but feel like it meant something more as she held it out for Jules.
Their fingers brushed as Jules accepted the puck and the slight contact was enough to make Frankie’s pulse jump. Jules' features softened and she smiled, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.
“To Jules,” she whispered, reading the inscription aloud. “My biggest fan.”
”Like I said…I know it’s silly.”
“No. It’s…it's not silly, Frankie.” Jules lifted her eyes from the puck as she traced the signature with her index finger. “I love it.”
“Nice!” Cam said, the unexpected sound of his voice breaking the spell that had grabbed hold of Frankie and Jules.
They both turned towards him and he fixed his eyes on the puck Jules was cradling in her hand.
She hugged it against her chest like it was a secret meant only for her and Frankie.
“I snagged a puck for you too," he said. "Now you’ll have a whole Harbour collection.”
Frankie sat up straighter in her seat, feeling like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn't be doing and the acknowledgement of it was so sudden that it nearly gave her whiplash.
She was a coach, a professional, and it was far too easy to linger next to Jules and risk getting lost in her orbit again, far too easy to lose sight of the people around them, where they were and why they were there in the first place.
”I’m going to go make some rounds,” she said, pushing her chair back to excuse herself from the table, not missing the way the brightness in Jules' eyes dimmed immediately. “I’ve got to chat with Neil about something and then I might head back to the hotel, I’m getting a bit of a headache.
I think the events of tonight are catching up with me. ”
“Really? Already?” Jules asked, her brow furrowed, voice pleading. “You didn’t even eat. You must be starving.”
“I’m okay.” Frankie waved her off. “Really.”
Jules pushed her own chair back then stood and the three other sets of eyes at their table were on them instantly. “I’ll go back to the hotel with you. I know we’re staying at the same place.”
God, this woman was so sweet, so kind. But Jules going with her was a bad idea because Frankie knew, she could feel it as she looked at Jules, whose face had concern etched into her features, that being alone with her was a test Frankie wasn’t sure she’d pass tonight.
“No, no. I’ll be okay,” she said, smiling at Cam, Mason, and Charlie before fixing her gaze back on Jules. “You stay and celebrate with your brother. You guys deserve it.”
Jules opened her mouth to say more but finally, she acquiesced.
A line had to be drawn between who Jules was and what Frankie had already begun to feel and even though there was no written rule to keep her from falling more, she needed to write her own rule or she’d risk not being able to pick herself back up when it all went wrong.