Chapter 16
Christmas
“Ican’t believe you’re taking this woman with you to Miami. You've known her for what, two weeks?”
Cam walked into his bedroom and tossed a pair of sandals into the open suitcase next to where Jules was lounging on his bed.
“Three weeks actually and I think you’d really like her.”
“You’re leaving me alone for Christmas!”
“I asked you if you wanted to come with me! Remember?”
Jules pouted, grabbing one of his pillows and hugging it against her chest. “Yeah, but I don’t want to be the third wheel for three days while you and Mackenzie make puppy dog eyes at each other on the beach.”
“I just want to have some fun, Jules, okay?” Cam said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Things have been so busy. Between travel and practice and all the extra stuff that comes with being the captain now, I’m fucking exhausted and all this grey snowy weather is making me depressed.
Is it so wrong of me to want a little fun in the sun with a girl?
We only get a three day break and I want to make the most of it. ”
It wasn’t only the fact that Cam was leaving that had Jules feeling so far from the Christmas spirit, it was the fact that ever since the night of the team dinner after the Boston game, things with Frankie had been different.
She’d pulled away, spoken to Jules less often and when they did speak it was always short conversations about hockey, about how the season was going, always surface level.
Frankie stopped reaching out to make plans for dinner or to go grab coffee the way Jules had become so used to in such a short amount of time and the worst part of it all was the fact that Jules had absolutely no idea why.
Had she said the wrong thing? Asked the wrong questions?
Given Frankie a reason to distance herself?
Frankie had given her the puck, she’d cared enough to indulge Jules with the inscription and they’d looked at each other with some kind of understanding, a reverence, something Jules was certain they could both feel.
They’d been steadily growing closer, their friendship blossoming into something real, something that Jules was grateful to have and then it was just…gone.
Jules, afraid of putting an even bigger rift between them, hadn’t pushed Frankie. She’d let things play out the way Frankie obviously wanted them to but it hurt, she wouldn’t lie to herself about that.
”Of course you deserve a break and I hope you have fun,” Jules said, reaching over the suitcase to put her hand on top of her brother’s. “Just don’t come back too tan or else I’ll be so mad at you.”
“You know I’ll FaceTime you on Christmas morning, right?” He asked, smiling softly as he took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze then hooked his pinkie around hers. “You might not be there with me in person but you and me, we’re always together. No matter what, right?”
Her throat bobbed and she nodded, her bottom lip quivering as she fought back a spell of unexpected emotion.
“You and me, kid,” she replied. “Always.”
Cam squeezed her hand once more then stood and went back to tossing things into his suitcase with no order whatsoever. Socks, underwear, bathing suits, t-shirts – all of it pulled from his closet and thrown onto the bed.
”Maybe Stevens is sticking around for the holiday?” He called out from inside the walk-in closet. “You guys could hang out even if I do think it’s a little weird for my sister and my coach to be like, friends…or something."
Or something.
Jules sighed and laid back on the bed. She looked out the window at the water and thought of Frankie again. “I don’t know.”
He came out of the closest and rounded the bed to the nightstand closest to Jules.
“Are you okay?” He rummaged around in the drawer, eying her curiously.
“You’ve been different lately. Did you secretly meet some woman and have a torrid affair only for her to break your heart?
I can’t believe you didn’t tell me, your only brother. ”
He was teasing her and she smiled despite herself then punched him in the arm. “Shut up.”
”Ouch. Take it easy, killer!” He laughed. “Can you blame me for wondering? You’ve been so…mopey. And I know your period only lasts for like a week so it can't just be because of that.”
“Cameron...ew. Please don’t talk about my period.” She grimaced and pulled herself up to sit back against the headboard. “I did not have a torrid affair. I’ve had nothing.”
But she wanted it. She wanted Frankie in ways she hadn’t dared to act on but it was obvious to her now given the valley Frankie had put between them that either Frankie felt uncomfortable in some way, that she wasn’t attracted to women like Jules thought she might be, or she just wasn’t attracted to Jules.
Maybe Frankie didn’t feel the same connection that Jules felt when their eyes met, the way the energy in a room changed when they were close, didn’t feel the spark when their hands touched as Jules accepted the puck Frankie had signed especially for her.
And that was okay. She could accept it, even if she didn’t want to. Jules just wanted to know what had happened because not knowing was making her crazy.
He stood up, put his hands on his hips as he stared at her. “That must be why then.”
”Why what?”
”Why have you been like…this.” He waved his hand around at her and she scoffed. “You need to get yourself some.”
”Oh my god.” Jules pinched the bridge of her nose and scrambled off his bed. “Stop talking. Now.”
She walked out of the bedroom and made a beeline for the door. Cam followed her, hot on her heels as he laughed, though she didn’t find anything amusing about the conversation.
“What’s the big deal? We’re both adults, Jules. Do you need me to give you the whole birds and the bees speech? Because I can.”
She covered her ears. “La la la. I can’t hear you.”
“Oh my god,” he groaned. “You’re suuuuuch a prude.”
”I am not!” Jules lowered her hands and slipped her feet into a pair of well-worn Birkenstock clogs. “I just don’t want to talk about sex with my brother because the last time I did, I found out that he’d slept with a woman who I had been seeing for a MONTH.”
“I didn’t know who she was!” He shouted in defence. “And I apologized!”
In all fairness, there was no way for him to know and Jules had been more upset at herself than anything because why would she ever allow herself to think someone wanted to be with her just to be with her? That had been her first mistake, and one she strived to never make again.
“We’re not talking about this anymore,” she said, crossing the floor to give her brother a hug.
She leaned into his taller frame and reached up to ruffle his shaggy blonde hair.
“I love you, have a nice time in Miami. Remember, it’s only a three day trip so please don’t overindulge and I hope you bring me back a nice Christmas present. ”
“A puka shell necklace?” He teased and Jules rolled her eyes.
“Gucci sunglasses,” she countered, though she was only joking.
After one final goodbye, Jules stepped into the quiet hallway and looked around at all of the other slate grey doors.
She knew Frankie lived on the same floor as Cameron and she couldn’t keep curiosity at bay as she wondered which door Frankie could be behind right now.
Her shoulders dropped and she shook the thought away then let out a heavy sigh and headed to the elevator.
Since the accident that took their parents, she’d never spent Christmas without her brother and it was easy to put on a brave face in his room, to joke and tease, to make light of a situation that he may not be as bothered by but as she stepped into the empty elevator to make the short trip down to her own floor, she covered her face with her hands and she let herself cry.