Chapter 47
Sebastian
I can’t think of one thing that would change how I feel.
Not even one.
Is she about to push me away again? Because I won’t let her.
Forget about it.
I search Isla’s face, trying to read whatever truth is hiding there.
“You should sit,” she tells me.
“Is it that bad?” I ask her. “You’re scaring me.”
I do as she says, and Isla sits next to me on the fallen log. My hand is in hers, our fingers laced together, and I can feel the faint tremble running through her.
She’s scared.
Goddess help me.
Whatever she’s about to tell me has her frightened, and that makes my stomach tighten.
“What is it?” I ask when she doesn’t speak. The silence stretches between us, and I don’t like the look in her eye. There’s something guarded there. Something uncertain. “You can tell me anything.”
I shift so I’m angled toward her, giving her my full attention. The forest is suddenly quiet around us.
“Nothing is wrong.” She swallows hard. “It’s just that…the shifterfae scented something on me.” She licks her lips.
My blood chills. “Are you sick?” The words come out in a rush. My grip on her hand tightens. “If you are, we’ll face it together.” I bring her hand to my lips and press a kiss to her knuckles. “We’ll tackle anything together. I meant what I said, Isla. No more walls. No more being afraid.”
She shakes her head, and there’s something glittering in her eyes.
“I’m pregnant,” she chokes out.
I stare at her, my head reeling.
“You are the father,” she continues, her voice wavering. “I haven’t been with anyone else in a very long time. It’s very early days. I mean, my pregnancy might not even stick. These things are uncertain at this stage.” She trails off, her gaze searching my face.
I open my mouth, but no sound comes out.
It was the very last thing I expected her to say. Of all the possibilities I had considered, this never entered my mind. Not once.
“Say something. Please.”
“I’m…” I scratch the back of my head, struggling to find words. “I’m a little shocked. I…um… Wow! This is… It’s…”
She watches me, waiting. There’s fear in her expression now, clear as day. She’s afraid of how I’ll react. Afraid I’ll push her away again.
“I know what you’re thinking. You’re asking yourself how it happened.”
“I think I know how it happened, Isla.” I give her the ghost of a smile.
“No, not that. It’s just that Terra gave me black bark tea.
At least, that’s what I thought it was.” She looks down at our joined hands.
“It turned out to be something else entirely. Apparently, it was the wrong bark and a remedy for headaches rather than to prevent pregnancy. The trees look alike.” She’s speaking in a nervous rush.
“Terra told me I didn’t scent like I was fertile or going to be fertile anytime soon.
So, when I found out about the mix-up with the bark, I wasn’t worried.
It completely left my mind, and I didn’t even think about it.
I was shocked when I found out. But…it…I… I’m definitely pregnant.”
“How long have you known?”
“I only found out yesterday,” she says.
“Were you going to tell me?”
The moment the words leave my mouth, I regret them. Her expression shifts. Hardens.
“It’s starting to feel like an interrogation all over again, Sebastian.” Her voice is sharp enough to cut. “Yes, I was going to tell you. Of course I was going to tell you. I’m not a terrible person. I would never have kept your child from you.”
“I know that.” I hold up my free hand. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t ask because I doubted you. I asked because…” I force myself to breathe. It’s hard. My lungs feel too tight, my thoughts spinning too fast. “Because I’m trying to understand. I’m trying to wrap my head around this.”
She’s still watching me with those wary eyes. Still waiting to see if I’m going to ruin this the way I’ve ruined everything else between us.
I need to ask. I have to know.
“Did you accept my apology this time because of the baby?” The question burns on the way out. “Or because you wanted to be with me?”
Isla stands abruptly, her hands forming fists at her sides. When she speaks, her voice is fierce.
“Of course not. I can raise a child all by myself. I don’t need you, Sebastian. I’m good on my own.” She’s magnificent in her anger, all fire and steel. “I accepted your apology because I wanted to, not because I felt I had to.”
“I believe you, Isla.” I rise and close the distance between us, my eyes never leaving hers. “I believe you, and I love you.” I take her hands again, bringing them to my chest so she can feel the thunder of my heart. “And if you’ll have me, we can get married and raise this child together.”
I drop to my knees before her for the second time today and reach for my pack.
“What are you doing?”
Her eyes widen as I pull out a small velvet pouch. The ring inside catches the light as I hold it up. It’s a simple band of silver with a stone that seems to hold every color of the sunset within its depths. Amber and rose and deep purple, all swirling together.
“I found it in a shop in the village when Kyrie and Damon took me for supplies yesterday,” I explain. “I know it isn’t gold and precious stones, but I liked it. The stone reminded me of your fire. Of the way you burn bright enough to chase away any darkness.”
Isla takes the ring from my palm, turning it this way and that. The colors shift and dance with her movements. I watch her face as she studies it, and I see the moment something breaks open in her expression.
“It’s beautiful,” she whispers.
“Marry me.”
She tugs at my hands. “Get up, please.”
I do as she asks.
“I love you, but it is too soon for marriage. We need to spend some time together first.”
The rejection stings, but I refuse to let it shake me. I stand, brushing leaves from my breeches, and face her.
“You won’t?” I search her face. “Why not?”
“Sebastian—”
“I’m sorry I asked you those questions,” I say before she can finish. “I didn’t ask them because I didn’t believe you. I asked because I’m an idiot who doesn’t know how to handle good news. I’m still learning, but I have a feeling you will teach me very quickly.”
Her expression softens. “Are you a good student?”
“The best.”
She steps closer and puts her arms around me, her head resting against my chest.
Then she looks up. “We’ve been through so much. I want to do this properly. I want us to learn about each other without the pressure of rings and vows.”
“That may be so, but I know what I want,” I tell her.
“I knew the moment I saw you standing at the entrance to those caves, looking at me like you couldn’t decide whether to hug me or hit me, that I was going to ask you to be my wife, and I’m going to ask you every day until you say yes.
” I take the ring from her fingers and slide it onto her hand anyway, not the marriage finger, but the one next to it.
“Wear it as a promise. Wear it so you know that I’m not going anywhere.
That every morning when you wake up, I’ll be there. ”
“You’re impossible.”
“I’m stubborn,” I agree. “Pigheaded, too. I won’t take no for an answer. You’re going to have to get used to that.”
She laughs, and the ring glitters on her finger as she reaches up to cup my face. “I love you, Sebastian. Even when you’re being impossible.”
“I love you too.”
I kiss her back, gently at first. Her hands slide into my hair, pulling me closer, and I respond in kind. My arms wrap around her waist, crushing her against me. The taste of her fills my senses. She’s sweet, wild, and intoxicating, all rolled into one. I drink her in like a man dying of thirst.
Isla makes a soft sound against my mouth, and the last threads of my restraint begin to fray.
“We should stop,” I murmur against her lips. “Anyone could come looking for us.”
“We’re far enough from the settlement.” Her fingers are working at the laces of my shirt. “And I don’t want to stop.”
Neither do I. Gods help me, neither do I.
I pull her onto my lap. Isla straddles me, her pretty dress bunching up around her thighs, and the sight of her like this, flushed and wanting – her hair coming loose from its braid – makes my blood burn.
I find the ties at the back of her bodice, pulling them loose.
She reaches down and loosens the ties on my breeches.
I sit up a little, and she pulls them down, freeing my cock.
She presses a kiss to my jaw, my throat, the place where my pulse hammers beneath my skin.
I finish with her laces and ease the bodice open. Her breasts spill free, and I groan at the sight of them. I cup their fullness in my hands, feeling their weight, and she leans into my touch.
She gasps, and her hips rock, and her core rubs against my engorged shaft.
I’m on fire for her.
My hand slides beneath her bunched skirt, up her thigh to the heat between her legs.
I find her center with my fingers and begin to stroke.
Isla throws her head back, groaning deeply.
She’s already wet for me, slick and ready, and the sound she makes when I touch her there is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.
I circle and press until she’s gripping my shoulders and moving against my hand.
“More,” she demands. “I need—”
“I know what you need.”
I grab her hips and lift her. Isla grips my shaft and sinks down onto me. I groan. She’s tight and so damned hot.
Then she starts to move.
Isla rides me with an abandon that steals my breath. Her hips roll and lift, finding a rhythm that has us both gasping. Her breasts bounce with each movement, and I watch, transfixed.
Her body sucks me in, holding me, making these wet noises as she bounces so sweetly.
The sounds of our bodies coming together fill the clearing, flesh meeting flesh in a primitive beat. She’s keening and groaning each time she comes down on me; her back is arched, her mouth slack.
“Look at me,” I manage.
She opens her eyes and meets my gaze.
I grip her hips and thrust up to meet her, changing the angle just enough to make her cry out. She moves faster now, chasing her release, and I chase it with her. Her breasts jerk up and down. Her mouth rounds as her channel starts to flutter around me.
Then she shatters, her inner walls gripping me tight as she comes with a sound that echoes through the trees. The sight of her pleasure, the feel of her contracting around me, sends me over the edge after her. I bury myself deep and spill into her, her name a hoarse cry on my lips.
She rides me for a good long while, milking each drop from me, and all I can do is hold on.
We collapse against each other, hearts racing, bodies slick with sweat. The forest is quiet around us, save for our ragged breathing and the distant call of birds.
Eventually, Isla lifts her head from my shoulder. Her cheeks are flushed, her eyes bright, her lips swollen from my kisses. She looks utterly ravished, and I feel a deep satisfaction at being the one who made her look this way.
“I love you,” she says.
“I love you too.” I brush a strand of hair from her face. “More than I ever thought I could love anyone. And one day…soon, if I have anything to say about it, you will say yes, and we will be married.”
“That sounds good.” She smiles and then leans forward and kisses me softly.
I help her off my lap, and we help each other put our clothes back in order.
“We should head back,” she says, adjusting her dress. “They’ll wonder where we’ve gone.”
“Let them wonder.”
But I take her hand, and we start walking toward the caves. Our pace is slow. Neither of us is in a hurry to return to the world beyond this forest.
“A baby,” I say, the wonder of it finally sinking in. “We’re going to have a baby.”
Isla squeezes my hand. “We are.”
“I’m going to be a father.”
“You are.”
I stop walking and pull her into my arms.
“I’m going to be a father,” I say again, and this time the words aren’t a question. They’re a vow. A promise to the tiny life growing inside her. “Our child is going to know nothing but love. I swear it, Isla. Whatever comes, whatever battles we have to fight, our baby will be loved and wanted.”
“I know.” Her voice is muffled against my shirt.
“Marry me.”
“Still no.” She laughs.
I laugh too, and the sound surprises me. It’s been so long since I laughed so openly. She does that to me. She makes me feel like I might actually be the man she deserves.
My heart is fuller than it has ever been.
I’m going to be a father.
And one day soon, she’s going to say yes.