11. Chapter 11
Chapter 11
Andy
We work diligently over the next day to get everything ready for Mizuki, Akihito, and, of course, Chi. She is going to have to go back to the mansion again, and I know she’s not looking forward to it, even if it’s just for one night.
I hire a service to wash the hell out of the rugs, trying to recall which ones she wanted changed and which she wanted washed. In the end, I decide to keep everything and simply clear every speck of blood from Akio’s office and bedroom.
It’s not enough for me. I have new locks put on the doors and have the entire suite locked down. I don’t want Chi wandering in there on impulse. I’ll keep the key on me in case she really wants to go in and braces herself for it.
I walk her out to the safehouse kitchen for dinner the night before her mother and brother are set to arrive. Mara and Cas have begun preparing tacos, although really, Mara is just putting out plates and napkins while Cas cooks.
“What do you want me to take out of that house before you go back, sweetie?” Mara asks as we sit down to eat. “Anything you never want to see again?”
Chi thinks about it, her eyes sliding to the floor, before shrugging and shaking her head. “Not really.”
“We’re going to lock up your dad’s suite, but if you really want to go in there, let me know and I’ll bring you in,” I say, taking her hand.
She meets my eyes sedately and nods.
“I think I’ll probably just curl into a ball the same way I’ve been here. I doubt I’ll really look around much.”
Mara gives her a gentle smile. “Things can sneak up on you, Chica Chi. When I went back to the mansion after the war, even though it was burned to a crisp, I can’t tell you all the crazy emotions I was feeling.”
Chi nods in apparent resignation. “Honestly, Mara… I know that’s going to happen to me no matter what. There’s not a lot I can do about it except prepare myself for the inevitability.”
Mara nods in understanding, and Chi moves on. “When are my mother and brother expected to arrive?”
“Tomorrow, late afternoon. You’d usually be expected to greet them at the airport, but since you’re mourning, I think we can get away with keeping you at the residence. I’m sure you don’t give a shit, but we got a few more black dresses and kimonos for you to choose from. I tried to make sure they were comfortable.”
Chi looks completely checked out as she nods at the information. “Okay, thank you. How much face time am I going to be expected to put in all together?”
Mara and I mull this over, and Mara speaks first. “You’ll be expected to greet them when they arrive. I think the custom is tea, right?” Chi nods rotely yet again, and Mara continues. “So, you drink your tea quietly and make as much or as little conversation as you’d like. I’ll be with you, and I’m sure Andy wouldn’t mind sitting in either. Cas will be throwing his weight around and looking imposing wherever he deems necessary.”
Mara crosses her legs, seemingly feeling more comfortable talking about the specifics of the planning than about Chi’s heavy burden of grief. “You’ll have to put in another hour or so at dinner, and then, of course, there will be the funeral the next day at noon. Afterwards, we’ll come back and have a one-hour reception, and Mizuki and Akihito are scheduled to depart from Norwood Memorial at 4 p.m. So you’ll have about an hour to entertain them once the guests leave.”
I scoff at the suggestion that we’ll be entertaining them like guests, and Chi looks up at me curiously. “What’s so funny?”
I shake my head. “Nothing, I just don’t think there will be anything ‘entertaining’ about the interrogation I plan to put them through.”
Chi’s lip tips up as she gazes at me. “I know you’re going to find out what they’re all about.” She squeezes my hand. “Even if I’m not sure I can.”
I don’t think she’s ever said something so forward about me. I don’t want to use the term ‘nice’ for it, but it feels good. It feels like trust and appreciation, and all the things I always wonder if she ever feels for me.
“Thanks, Chee-chee,” I say, squeezing her hand back.
Mara smiles at us adoringly, and the whites of her eyes shine. “Ow, goddamn eyelash,” she says, digging her fingers into her face a moment later.
“In both eyes at the same time? That’s a weird coincidence. Maybe you should get that checked out.” I quip, and she lifts her head and smirks at me.
“Shut up, Andy.”
Cas lays out all the ingredients he’s cooked up for tacos, and Chi takes a few steady breaths as she eats. “I can’t believe it has no taste. I love tacos,” she says, as if mourning the taste of food, too.
“Just eat the meat then,” Cas says. “It’s protein, and it’ll keep your muscles going. Vegetables will help too, actually, so if you can’t taste them, now’s the time to load up.” He spoons some onions and peppers onto Chi’s plate.
“Mansplaining,” Mara sings in a tiny, high-pitched voice.
Cas grabs her face and shoves a green pepper between her lips as she protests and slaps at his hands. “You’re gonna get it for that later,” he rasps out.
I hear a high-pitched tinkle of what can only be laughter from my left, and sure enough, when I turn my head, Chi is looking at them with a hand over her mouth and a smile on her face. An actual smile. She seems to realize what she’s done a second later and looks at me as if to ask, Is that okay? Is it okay for me to laugh?
I give her my most reassuring smile in return and grab her hand again. Her eyes fill with tears and she lets them come, but she doesn’t burst out into sobs. She wipes them away with grace, and looks back to her food. She picks up a green pepper and chews it. “Good idea, Cas. I do wish I could taste it, but thanks for making dinner.”
“See, at least someone appreciates me,” he says, letting go of Mara’s face and scarfing down half his taco in one bite.
We head to the mansion before lunch time the next day. I want to supervise the first meal we eat there and make sure this chef knows not to screw anything up. If he so much as allows another human being to breathe on Chi’s food, he’ll have a bullet through his skull a minute later.
To my surprise, as Cas and I stand over the chef and beads of sweat form above his brow, Cas says, “Listen, you better pull it together, because I’m gonna be standing right here for dinner, too.”
I look up at him and cock my head in question, as if asking, Really? You’re gonna come back in here tonight to watch them make Chi’s dinner?
He gives a little shrug in answer: Sure, man. Why not?
I give him a look of intense appreciation, one side of my lip quirked up, nodding slightly. Thanks, brother. Thanks a lot.
My pocket buzzes, and I take my phone out, seeing my other ace-in-the-hole’s name light up the screen. You two are adorable , Oxy writes, with a little puke emoji right after the words.
I bite down my smile and give the camera nearest to me the finger before my phone buzzes again. Wrong one, moron. I’m the one below the clock. That’s how I witnessed your entire sickening display of manly love.
I roll my eyes and get back to watching the chef try not to sweat into the miso soup.
After we have what I imagine to be a very Americanized version of chicken teriyaki for lunch, Chi looks exhausted. She may be slowly putting one foot in front of the other and climbing uphill, but there are still deep shadows under her consistently half-lidded eyes, and I can tell she needs a break.
“You want to go to the room for a bit?” I ask, checking my watch. It’s only 2 p.m., and her family members aren’t set to arrive for a couple of hours. They will touch down at 4 p.m. and take off to go back to Japan at 4 p.m. tomorrow, so that we can at least say that they stayed for a full day.
She sighs wearily, nods, and I take her hand to pull her in the direction of her suite. Cas and Mara run off to find a room to do God-knows-what in, and I’m glad again that we don’t ever have to worry about entertaining them.
She has made it a habit, through every hall we walk down, not to look at anything but the floor. Even that, however, seems to upset her. “These ugly fucking rugs,” she says with a sniff.
I rub her back as we approach her suite. I grab the remote from next to the TV as soon as we walk into the room, and she draws a sharp breath. Two tears immediately drop out of her eyes. “That’s what I used to get away,” she says in a trembling voice. “I threw it across the suite, as far as I could, so that they’d think I was in the sitting room. Then I—I left through the hidden back door.” She shivers and hugs herself, running her hands up and down her arms.
“Good for you, Chee-chee. You got away. Thank God for this remote, really. We should give it a medal or something.” I don’t even know what I’m saying at this point. I can’t imagine cheesy jokes will really help, but while she continues to cry, she lets out a small laugh through the tears.
“I don’t think a medal would fit,” she says back in a tiny voice, and I’m so surprised that she’s made a joke, all I can do is try to keep it going.
“Sure, I think we could find one about the right size.” I hold up the small white remote, even as she’s crying, while I pretend that I’m taking measurements. To my amazement, it makes her laugh through the tears. I feel my smile widen of its own accord, and I don’t even try to correct it into the stolid expression I usually wear.
She looks at me and smiles, even though her sobs begin to come a little harder and more frequent now. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you being here. Helping me.” She shakes her head and looks down, letting her tears drip onto the bedspread. “I just can’t believe you’re here after everything I did. After everything I…” she trails off and swallows hard, locking eyes with me again. “After everything I have to do.”
Chi and I have always had an uncanny understanding of what the other means, and right now is no different. She’s talking about her Omiai and the fact that she won’t stop it. She’ll postpone it, sure. But she won’t reverse it.
“I told you, Chi. I’m here for good.” I can’t believe what I’m about to say. I look at the floor and grit my teeth. I hate it, but I know it’s the only course for me. “I’m coming with you to Japan. I need to always be with you. For better or worse. If you’ll have me.”
She sobs loudly and jumps off the bed, burying herself in my arms a moment later. “If you’ll have me , Andy. It’s always if you’ll have me , and it always will be.”
“Well, you’ll never have to question it, Chi. Because I’m not going anywhere. I wanted to say it when you did all those months ago — probably even before then. But better late than never. I love you.”
She grabs a fistful of hair on the back of my head, pulling my lips to meet hers. Her tears mingle with our kiss — heartache, relief, and love. They’re the most intoxicating thing I’ve ever consumed, and I can’t get enough. I can’t get enough of her and this moment, the black, silky shroud of hair that falls across her shoulders, her soft lips, and small sighs filled with a thousand emotions. I want to pull her into me somehow, so that I am always here to protect her from her mother, her brother, her grief, and even herself.
She starts ripping her clothes off first, and it’s the only green light I need to throw caution to the wind and do the same. She moves onto me after she finishes, yanking my pants and boxers down in a frenzy, her tears beginning to dry, as if there’s no room for anything besides the anticipation of what is to come.
She pushes me backward and into her dresser, exhaling her hot, anxious breath right into my soul. We bang into a shelf, and her little Star Wars toys fall down on my head.
She grabs my arms and squeezes, as if holding onto me for dear life. I know what it means. She wants me to show her I’m with her, protecting her, and I always will be. I’m not about to let her down. I grab her ass and plaster her to me, growling into her mouth as we flatten up against each other. She rubs her wet pussy all over my leg, and suddenly she is all purring, humming electricity, begging me to touch her.
I grab her behind her neck, pulling her hair back to angle her head the way I want it. My other hand grabs a full ass cheek and squeezes, lifting her up easily and plowing into her in one go. I snarl into her mouth as electricity pops between us, bouncing her up and down on top of me, plunging into her over and over again. She screams in relief, her tears finally gone, and throws her head back, stretching herself and arching her pointed, erect nipples into my face. I take one into my mouth and swirl my tongue over it, driving her crazy, before I bite down.
Slow down, make love to her , I tell myself, but now that I’ve admitted it — now that I’ve told her how much I need her and love her — I just can’t stop. I need to have all of her right now. Always. Forever after this. I need to make sure she remembers. I’m pinning her against the wall, smacking my cock into her the way I want to pin her down with my intentions. Even if I have to prove to her this way that I love her, want her, and can’t live without her, I will.
I rear back and thrust my cock back into her savagely, pulling her head back and inhaling her. I feel the overwhelming need for her to reciprocate. “Say it, Chi. Say it now.”
She knows what I want and says it on command. “I love you, Andy!” she cries, and it fills me up with satisfaction. Her pussy tightens around me and squeezes at her words. All she needs to do is say those three little words to come on my cock. “I—I need you so badly.”
But it’s not just those three little words. It’s not just the act of saying them that is making this so much better and more life-altering than ever before. Some invisible feeling is here in this room, passing between us as I pound into her, heightening every flutter — every touch. It might be invisible, but it feels like a lingering perfume, a pleasant blast of sweet, warm air.
“I need you this way, forever,” she cries raggedly into my ear, digging her nails into my shoulders. “Just you. I only want you. Do you only want me, Andy? Forever?” That needy pleading in her voice nearly makes me cum on the spot; to have that kind of hold on her is all I’ve ever wanted.
“Yes, forever,” I say, grinding into her the way I know she loves. She cries out with ecstasy. “Now come for me, Chi, my love.”
She screams as she comes, her nails digging into my shoulders, her face a mess of hair, sweat, and sweet, unabated release. I come while watching this beautiful picture, holding her to me, pushing up into her until the last spasm wracks my body.
I slide down the wall with her in my arms, still kissing her, praying that I keep the tears away. Seconds turn to minutes, and we stop kissing, just panting against each other’s bodies. I feel some great shift, but I can’t seem to name it.
Finally, she reminds me what it is, for the third time today. “I love you, Andy,” she says simply, looking up at me beneath her lashes. Such a practiced move with her, most of the time, but it’s as if this one is different — just for me. There is nothing practiced about this. There is nothing seductive or coy in her gaze. It is sincere and forthright, as if she’s putting her whole self on a platter before me, begging me not to slap her down and stomp her into the floor.
I wouldn’t dream of it. Now that I’m not too afraid to name this feeling, I won’t ever deny it again. “Good. Because you’re mine, Chee-chee. I’ll follow you anywhere, no matter what. You’re stuck with me for good.”
I’m shocked when she sighs against my neck and nods, but there are still no tears. “That’s all that matters,” she says, squeezing herself into me. “Nothing else matters, Andy.”
I’ve done it. I’ve touched the livewire that is Chichi Yano, and if it means my demise, so be it.
“Nothing else matters,” I repeat. And I believe it.