Keira
Caspian hated her.
He’d been moody and distant for an entire day because he’d dreamt about her.
Absently, she couldn’t help but wonder if part of him was seeing past the Oculus charm.
She supposed it was possible that his subconscious mind was somehow processing what his eyes could not, warning him through his dreams. But she didn’t spare her curiosity much thought as she agonized over how he would react once he knew- And he would eventually find her out if she didn’t tell him herself soon.
Every time he looked at her, she feared he would see through her glamour.
She would have to face him. Yet instead of mustering the courage to do so, her imagination berated her with every terrible, torturous thing he could, and likely would, say if he learned the truth.
Someone I lost…
They camped beside the small stream she had seen in her vision.
It would be another day’s journey to the caves, but they had already passed trees embedded with quills and others with bark stripped by powerful claws.
There was a noticeable lack of large game here.
No doubt the beast had terrorized the local populations away and now needed to travel farther to appease its appetite.
Of course, she pointed out these signs to Caspian as they went to keep up her pretense.
They had agreed to sleep in shifts that night, though neither of them had settled in yet.
Caspian returned to camp with an armload of logs. Enough to keep the fire healthy throughout the night. He set them down and looked to her tentatively. He’d been skittish ever since she’d broken and finally asked him what was wrong. Of course, that had ended in him comforting her…
And now she was sitting on a thick fallen tree. There was clearly space for him to fit beside her, but he watched her tentatively, as if worried that sitting too closely might make her cry again.
Keira moved over purposefully so he wouldn’t sit in the dirt.
Caspian took her meaning plain enough and sat beside her.
Keira pulled the rabbit she’d trapped off of the flames.
In truth, she’d used her magic to snap its neck when she’d been sent out hunting.
Now it was cooked and steaming on the spit she’d fashioned. Her stomach growled.
Keira offered an apologetic smile as Caspian turned and produced two bowls from his bag. Soon they were filled with warm meat and a few small potatoes, washed down with fresh, cool water from the stream.
“I’ll take the first watch,” he said once the bowls were empty. After such a long time without a spoken word, even his soft voice hung heavy in the air.
“I can-”
“You should rest.”
She opened her mouth to protest, only to shut it again. It was better this way. He’d wake her for her shift in the dark. There would be less chance of him seeing her true face. Even so, he was being chivalrous. Of the two of them, he was obviously more tired. She was being selfish. Again.
He stood up unexpectedly and began to unfasten his own bedroll, clearly meant for her. It was too much.
“I can sleep in my cloak,” Keira protested, standing as if she might stop him.
“There is less cover here, more wind. It’s near freezing already,” he said, unrolling it by the fire.
“I’ll be fine.”
Caspian turned to her, striding closer. Too close. Much, much too close. Her eyes were on his chest, watching as his fingers unpinned his fur trimmed cloak.
Keira opened her mouth as he took it from his shoulders, but then his arms were encircling her.
Rational thought fell from her mind, leaving her standing there, silenced.
He pinned his coat over her own. It was wonderfully warm and heavy on her shoulders, and curse her, it smelled like him.
What she would have given two days ago to wrap herself up in this cloak and lay there until the scent had long since faded.
His hands spread over her arms, rubbing warmth back into them.
“You’re shivering,” he said, as if they were still arguing. As if she were still capable of that.
Seconds passed, and she said nothing. How could she?
“I’m sorry,” he said, “about earlier. I know it can be painful to dredge up the past.”
His touch slowed until he was just holding her. His face was only inches from her own.
Keira shook her head, recovering some facet of herself. “I asked you first.”
He sighed.
“What happened?” she whispered. She was selfish and horrible and could hardly live with herself as the words came out of her mouth. But she had to know. Do you hate me?
“We were in love,” Caspian said without a single pause. “I asked her to wait for me when I left to fight. But when I finally came back, she was gone…” An eternity passed as she studied the heartache like a still open wound behind his eyes. “…I never knew why.”
“What?” she couldn’t help the word from falling out of her mouth.
“After the battle, she stopped answering my letters. It was months before I was well enough, but I looked for her everywhere I could think of. She was just gone. No one knew where. The man she’d lived with had died. Maybe that’s why-” he shook his head, offering a fragile smile.
“I’m so sorry,” she forced through her choked throat.
Caspian was silent, gleaming black eyes studying her, almost as if he were in a trance. “It was a long time ago,” he said finally.
As his touch trailed up to her shoulders, Keira’s better sense stirred within her. He was looking at her too closely. She had to step away now. If he looked any deeper, he was going to see through the charm. But she couldn’t. Her eyes were locked in his, leaving her paralyzed in his arms.
He pushed her hood down from her hair, his warm palm grazing her cheek.
She leaned into his touch, even as it stirred agony in her hollowed heart.
She’d missed this. She’d missed him. It was impossible to believe that this was actually happening, that she hadn’t just stepped into a memory.
Whatever desire she felt, Keira could see it reflected in Caspian’s eyes, the longing, the anticipation.
She knew what this was; her suspicion had been right.
His heart already knew what his eyes couldn’t see.
Her hands pressed against the cool metal of his breastplate.
His arm tightened reflexively around her waist, closing the distance.
Caspian’s nose brushed her forehead. Without thinking, she looked up.
Such a familiar gesture, a reflex she’d thought forgotten.
He looked down at her as if the rest of the world had melted away, hooded eyes fixed on her mouth.
It was only in the moment before his lips touched her own that she realized what was going to happen, what she had let happen.
He was going to kiss her. No, not her- Erin, the forester who he’d met yesterday.
She could already feel his warm breath against her skin.
Everything within her yearned to melt into his touch, to pour herself into this embrace.
This moment was all she’d dreamed of for all the years they’d been apart.
But it was all a lie, her lie. She couldn’t let it go any further.
Still, the wanting that rippled through her was enough to kill her, enough to rip out her heart as she pushed him away.