Chapter 18
‘How did you find this place, anyway?’ Ellie stabbed her fork in her pasta bowl filled with mac and cheese and watched as the stringy cheese finally pulled free. ‘This is so delicious that I could eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.’
‘Before I signed for my workshop, I came to look at a unit here in Nettleford. I was starving and popped in here. They haven’t been able to get free of me since.’ Murray grinned as he reached for his glass.
‘I certainly don’t blame you.’ Ellie spoke between mouthfuls.
She’d never been much of a cook, had never really had the time, but when she’d tried her hand at making her and Rick a nice meal, they’d invariably ended up with a beige plateful of barely edible sludge.
‘And you can cook now too? Tell me about that? How? When did you learn?’
‘My dad’s wife – or should I say my stepmom – taught me.’ He shrugged. ‘Please don’t give me too much credit though, not without trying my food. I can find my way around a kitchen, but I’m no chef.’
‘Well, I’ve not changed in that department, so I’m sure whatever you can cook is much more edible than what I can offer.’
‘I’m sure it must be better than the meal we had at that little restaurant on the seafront on our first Valentine’s Day together.’ Murray grimaced.
‘Oh, yuck.’ Ellie could almost taste the rubbery, bland excuse of a sponge pudding she’d had for dessert. ‘I can still remember how that treacle sponge pudding got stuck in my throat.’
‘I don’t even know why we ordered dessert.’ Murray chuckled. ‘We’d tried the starters and mains and forced those down, why on earth did we think the dessert would be any better?’
‘Forced the food down? If I remember correctly, you chopped your well overdone steak into little pieces and fed it to the cheese plant, which was positioned next to your chair.’ She grinned.
‘Ha, I’d forgotten about that! You passed me some of yours too.’
‘That’s right.’ Ellie laughed. ‘Why hadn’t we just walked out after the disgusting starters?’
‘I’ve no idea. All I can imagine is that we were young and too polite for our own good.’
‘Yes, I think you’re right. We must have been. I wonder if that place is still open.’
‘I hope not. I can’t imagine how many poor souls have sat through the ordeal of being served up the worst food in the world.’ Murray piled his fork high and brought it to his mouth before speaking. ‘This, though, has got to be one of the best places I’ve eaten.’
Ellie nodded as she ate. Not only had their relationship been the most intense she’d experienced, it had been fun too.
They’d been able to have a laugh together, enjoy each other’s company without questioning the other’s motive, or their feelings for that matter.
He’d made her feel safe. And she hadn’t found that again with Rick.
She’d never felt as though she could truly be herself with Rick, let her guard down, but with Murray, even now, after everything that had happened during their break-up, plus the fact they hadn’t laid eyes on each other for nine years, she felt more comfortable than she ever had in Rick’s presence. And she’d missed it.
‘Tell me, how did you get into the wedding planning business? You were intent on finishing your veterinary nurse training when we were together.’ Murray pointed his now empty fork in her direction. ‘That’s quite a jump from veterinary nurse to wedding planner.’
She scrunched up her nose, feeling the atmosphere shift between them at the mention of her life immediately after he’d left. ‘Oh, that’s a long story.’
Shrugging, Murray glanced down at their dinner. ‘We’ve got time.’
Great. She’d worried this topic might come up.
Why wouldn’t it? After all, he was right.
When they’d been dating, she’d been training to become a veterinary nurse, and she’d been absolutely loving it.
She couldn’t have imagined a better career for herself – she’d always adored animals, driving her parents crazy by bringing the neighbourhood’s waifs and strays home, and it had only got worse when she’d got the job in the local vets as she’d been the one they knew would take home the abandoned kittens who were too young to feed and bottle-feed them every two hours, night and day, as well as any dogs who’d happened to be found roaming the streets.
Ellie had hated the idea of the poor things having to stay at the clinic overnight, having first found themselves away from their humans and then in that strange place.
She’d taken them back home, spent hours on social media, putting up posts and scrolling the lost pet groups searching for any description that might be about the dog in question.
Anything to reunite them with their humans and avoid the pound.
‘You don’t need to tell me, if you’d rather not.’ Murray frowned slightly before picking up the dessert menu. ‘We could always take a look at the desserts.’
‘We’ve not finished our dinner yet.’ Ellie shifted on her chair.
There was a part of her that wanted to tell him what had happened, why she’d taken such a detour in her career path, a part of her that wanted to – or felt she needed to – unpick what had happened between them, the demise of their relationship and the conversation about how she’d become a wedding planner would lead to it, but was it worth it?
Was it worth going over and bringing up past pain again in the hope to gain some closure?
She’d like to say no, she’d like to think she’d dealt with her feelings for him years ago, but if Rick’s snappy note left with that box of photographs was anything to go by, then maybe this would be good for her.
She cleared her throat, her voice suddenly croaky with emotion. ‘I don’t mind telling you.’
‘Okay, if you’re sure.’ Murray replaced the dessert menu, sliding it between the salt and pepper shakers, and looked across the table at her, waiting.
‘I took a bit of time off from my job at the clinic after we’ – she waved her hand between them before forcing herself to continue – ‘broke up. To begin with, they were really lovely about it and were super understanding, but when a week turned to a month and more, things changed. I don’t know if you remember the owner of the practice, Kevin Dunn?
He was quite straight talking, and although he didn’t come out and say they were going to replace me if I didn’t get back to work by the next week, it was implied and I just couldn’t cope with the pressure. ’
‘So, he fired you for needing time off?’
She shook her head. ‘I quit before he could.’
Murray nodded his head slowly as though he was working out the information she’d left out. When he did speak, his voice was barely above a whisper. ‘Because of me?’
Shaking her head, she picked up her fork and stabbed a cheese-covered pasta shell.
‘Not you. Because of what happened between us. I just couldn’t…
’ She trailed off, tears stinging the back of her eyes as memories of that dark time surfaced.
She hadn’t been able to concentrate, she hadn’t wanted to.
She hadn’t even wanted to leave the house, and didn’t.
Not for a couple of months. But how could she tell him, that, yes, their relationship breakdown had affected her to the extent it had? ‘I just…’
‘Eleanor.’ She could see his eyes fill with tears.
Setting her jaw, she shook her head. She didn’t want his pity, she hadn’t even wanted him to know how much his actions had affected her.
And she didn’t want him to blame himself.
However hard it had been for her, she knew deep down it hadn’t been easy for him either.
By making the decision to answer his father’s pleas and move country in order to help his dad’s company, he’d lost everything.
Not just her, not just their relationship.
He’d also had to give up his job, the time he spent with friends and, more importantly, he’d had to leave his own family.
His mum and stepdad had supported him in his decision, but he’d worried his mum would think she was choosing the father who had barely been in his life and who hadn’t raised him over the loving family unit his mum and stepdad had provided.
‘It was a lot of things, but it made me realise that however much I love animals, maybe veterinary nursing wasn’t for me.
Huh, now I suppose there’s a silver lining in Rick finally moving out, I’ll actually be able to have the animals I wanted rather than him refusing to share the cottage with a pet. ’
Glancing down at the tablecloth, Murray twisted his pasta bowl round slightly before looking back towards her. When he did speak, his voice was gruff with emotion. ‘So, why wedding planning?’
She shrugged. ‘I just kind of fell into it. You know what my mum’s like.
As lovely and caring as she is, it can become stifling, and it got to the point that I needed to move out, to move away, and so I began looking for jobs, anything.
A job for a wedding planner came up and I applied without believing I had a chance of getting it. ’
‘But you did.’ He nodded.
‘Yep, I got it and worked there for a while before becoming a partner in the business. And then…’ She paused.
She’d offloaded enough this evening, she didn’t want to tell him about the whole sorry business with Melissa.
And if she was completely honest, there was a part of her that didn’t want to tell him in case he thought she had been responsible for the near-ruin of the McClouds’ wedding.
She didn’t want him to think she was incompetent, as Melissa was telling everyone she was.
Not that she should particularly care what he thought of her, of course.
‘Then I decided to strike out on my own.’
‘And you’re enjoying it?’