Chapter 18 #2
Ellie relaxed, the conversation was moving into safer territory. Territory she was happy to speak about. ‘I love it. I love the fact that I get to play a part in someone’s special day, the day they’ll remember for the rest of their lives.’
‘I can imagine you’re in your element. You always were a fantastic planner.’ Murray grinned. He, too, seemed a little less tense.
‘Umm, I enjoy it.’ Ellie glanced quickly around the restaurant, checking to see if anyone she might know from her days of working with Melissa were about.
She didn’t want anyone to contradict the fact that she was good at her job.
Because she was. She knew she was. It was Melissa who was trying to ruin her reputation, and all because it had been Melissa herself who had messed up.
Thankfully, no one was here. No one she recognised.
Nettleford was only a short drive from Meadowfield but in the opposite direction from Chipping Norton, where All Things Love was based, and being that little bit further out, she was safe.
‘I bet Laura and Jackson’s wedding will be great. Jackson was telling me only this morning that they’re getting married at Pennycress Inn itself.’
‘Hopefully. We’re still waiting on the licence from the council to hold the ceremony there to come through, but we shouldn’t have any issues.
’ Chewing on her bottom lip, she looked at him.
Perhaps now was as good a time as any to ask about his time in America?
After all, he’d just quizzed her about her job.
‘So, tell me, what made you make the transition from working with your dad to carpentry? I thought his business was in finance or something?’
Murray nodded. ‘It was.’
‘It was?’ She glanced down at her mac and cheese. The business had failed? Murray had ended their relationship, moved thousands of miles away and changed the entire direction of his work and personal life for the business to fail, anyway?
‘Ha, yes.’ He took a mouthful of pasta before tilting his head and stabbing his fork in her direction.
‘Not for the reason you’re likely thinking, though.
When I moved to help my dad because it was failing, we managed to turn it around, get the business profitable again.
A couple of years later, we ended up going our separate ways, and he decided to sell it, so it got merged with another company after all. ’
‘You went your separate ways? After just a couple of years?’ Had she heard him right?
He’d made that huge move only to walk away after a couple of years?
And then what? Instead of coming back to England to see her, to try to get back with her, he’d just…
stayed over there? Had she meant so little to him that he hadn’t even bothered to look her up, to get in contact?
She could feel her legs beginning to shake as the very foundations of her world shook.
Perhaps they hadn’t had what she’d thought they’d had.
Perhaps he hadn’t loved her like he’d said.
Perhaps she had just been someone to waste some time with, to hang around with until someone better came along. Was he even who she thought he was?
‘Yes.’ Murray shook his head. ‘I can’t even begin to describe what it was like working with him, for him. I hadn’t thought it would be particularly easy. I hadn’t known the bloke, had only met him a handful of times growing up. You know his track record, don’t you?’
She nodded. That had been the reason she’d felt so completely blindsided when he’d made the decision to move to the States to help him. His dad had practically been a stranger to him and yet he’d still chosen that man above her and the relationship they’d had.
‘Well, things were great for the first couple of months. He genuinely seemed pleased I’d taken him up on the offer to go and help him.
He listened to my ideas, put a lot of what I suggested into practice.
And then, one day, he just seemed to get bored.
’ After leaning back in his chair, Murray picked up his napkin and wiped his lips.
‘I got the distinct impression he thought I was stepping on his toes, trying to take over. Which I wasn’t.
Yes, I told him if I thought what he was doing was going to harm the business, but that was why I was there. He’d wanted me there.’
‘So you left?’
‘I sure did. I stuck it out as long as I could, but after a particularly animated disagreement, I grabbed my stuff and walked out of the offices.’ He shrugged.
‘I tried my best for the man, and for everyone who worked for him and stood to lose their jobs, but in the end all he was intent on doing was to drag me down with him.’
‘What did you do then? Why didn’t you come back home?
’ She could hardly speak, and each word took an effort.
And as much as she tried to keep her voice light, she knew he’d realise exactly what she was asking – ‘why didn’t you come back for me?
’ She gripped her cutlery tightly and filled her fork with pasta, trying her very best to appear nonchalant, as though the next words he uttered wouldn’t make all of those feelings of rejection come flooding back to her.
‘I did. I came back for a while, anyway. Moved back in with my folks for a few months whilst I figured out what I wanted to do with myself.’ His voice sounded flat, devoid of emotion as he continued.
‘I looked you up, of course. When your mum said you had met someone down this way and were happy, I… I decided to move to London for a while.’
A heavy silence filled the small space between them as she let his answer sink in.
He’d asked her mum about her? He had cared.
Or cared enough to want to ‘look her up’, whatever that meant.
Probably just as someone to talk to, meet up with, but still, he’d wanted to reconnect.
But he hadn’t. Because of Rick. She’d moved on with Rick.
She swallowed, a lump forming in her throat.
Maybe if she hadn’t met Rick when she had, or had waited a bit longer before telling her parents about him…
Maybe things would have been different. Maybe she and Murray…
She placed her cutlery down, the metal clanging against the ceramic of the bowl. Standing up, she glanced behind her, searching until she found the sign for the toilets. ‘I just need to… I won’t be long.’
Without waiting for Murray to acknowledge her statement, she turned and walked towards the door in the back corner of the restaurant. Her legs felt wobbly and her head muggy as she weaved between the other diners, trying to smile, covering up the turmoil stirring inside her.
Once she was inside the Ladies’, Ellie waited until the door had swung softly closed behind her before walking across to the row of three white sinks.
Gripping the edge of the middle one, she raised her head and stared at her reflection in the mirror, glad of the soft lighting rather than the stark white glow normally found in restaurant restrooms. Even to herself, she looked as though she was about to cry.
Her eyes were decidedly bloodshot and brimming with tears.
She sucked in her bottom lip. She would not.
She could not cry. Not now. Not in front of Murray.
Turning the tap on, she placed her hand in the stream of water, waiting until it ran cold before cupping her hands and splashing her face.
Murray had come back for her. But she’d been with Rick.
She’d been with Rick, someone she had never really loved but had tried to care for and tried to build a future with.
Straightening her back, she grabbed a paper towel and dabbed her face. Her make-up had all but melted off her skin during the day at the wedding dress sale, so she wasn’t sorry to see the last of it gone.
After scrunching the paper towel in her hand, she threw it in the bin before staring back in the mirror and tugging her fingers through her hair.
Murray hadn’t come back for her, he’d come back because he and his dad had fallen out.
There wasn’t anything to suggest that even if she hadn’t been with Rick anything would have happened between them.
And he hadn’t said that’s why he had planned on getting in touch with her, anyway.
Taking a deep breath, she tried to quieten the questions stirring inside her. It didn’t matter. None of it did. It was what it was. She’d been with Rick when Murray had come home, and that’s what had happened. She couldn’t change it or travel back in time. She couldn’t do anything about it.
Holding her head high, she walked back out into the seating area.
Ruby’s Restaurant was gorgeous. Small but perfect, and the food was spot on.
Any other time she’d have been gushing over the cute designs on the menus, the lovely artwork on the walls and the warm atmosphere, but now she wasn’t even sure she’d be able to finish her dinner, let alone take a look at the desserts, her stomach felt that churned up by Murray’s bombshell.
‘Okay?’ Murray half-stood as she reached the table, his face etched with concern.
Slipping into her chair, Ellie nodded and picked up the napkin before shaking it and laying it across her lap. She forced a smile as she picked up her cutlery again.
As he lowered himself back into his seat, he reached out and placed his hand on hers. ‘I hope I didn’t upset you.’
She looked down at their hands, the heat from his touch warming her skin.
She had two choices: she could cover up her emotions, pretend she was unaffected by his news, or she could be honest. Blocking people out hadn’t got her anywhere but into an unhappy relationship with Rick, so she chose honesty.
‘It was just a shock to hear you’d been back home.
All these years, I just assumed you were still in America. ’