Chapter 18 #3
‘I moved back there a year or so after returning.’ Removing his hand from hers, he knitted his eyebrows together. ‘Your mum never told you I looked you up? I’d hoped she’d have passed on my best wishes.’
Ellie shook her head. Nope, her mum had never said a word about her and Murray’s conversation.
Nor had her dad, and she would have thought he would have if he’d known.
Yes, her mum had always had a tendency to be overprotective of her, even to the point of meddling, which is what Ellie deemed this to be, but her dad?
He was strait-laced, direct; if he’d known, he would have said something.
She was sure of it. Had her mum kept her run-in with Murray secret from him too?
As tempted as she was to pull out her mobile straight away, ring her mum and demand why she hadn’t mentioned Murray had tried to get in contact with her, right now she needed to change the subject.
‘So how did you go from finance to carpentry?’
Running the palm of his hand across the dark stubble on his chin, he looked down at his food before talking. ‘My ex-wife’s dad is a carpenter, and I got into the trade through him.’
Ellie laid her cutlery back on top of the mac and cheese, watching the cheesy pasta and sauce fall from the fork to re-join the rest of it in the bowl.
His ex-wife? Wife? He’d been married. She tried to work out the maths in her head.
He’d been in the US two years then came back, lived in London, gone again, married and divorced?
They couldn’t have been together long. Hardly long enough to get to know one another and commit to marriage, let alone plan the wedding, have the wedding and then the divorce to boot. ‘You were married?’
He looked up at her again, their eyes meeting. ‘I was. We were married for three years. Probably shouldn’t have got married in the first place if I’m being completely honest, but you know what it’s like.’
‘No, no, I don’t.’ She clasped her hands in her lap.
How was she supposed to know what it was like?
The only person she’d truly loved – loved with such a depth that she thought she was going to break when the relationship had ended, was Murray.
She and Rick had never spoken about marriage.
They’d mutually accepted the fact that the whole wedding, marriage and kids thing hadn’t been for them, not for the two of them together.
Separately, now that was a different story.
She’d always wanted the fairy-tale ending, but she’d known she’d never get that with Rick.
‘What happened? How long ago did you split?’
He shifted in his seat. ‘Our divorce came through a few weeks ago, but we separated just over a year ago.’
‘Right. Okay.’ Why did she feel so angry?
So furious with him right now? Because he’d gone on to love someone else enough to marry them, that’s why.
She’d always stupidly believed he’d felt the same way about her as she did about him.
After the initial shock of their break-up and the horrendous grief for the life she’d assumed they’d share together, she’d finally consoled herself into believing that if they were meant to be, then they would meet again.
Ha, well, they’d met, and she’d found out she hadn’t meant much at all to him.
‘Eleanor, I—’
Feeling her cheeks colour, she waved her hand dismissively.
Knowing he could see how much this news had affected her only added insult to injury.
It only proved that she’d always held a torch for him, whilst she’d been one in however many women in his life.
Heck, their relationship had obviously meant less to him than that with his ex-wife.
She must be the Jenny woman he’d been speaking to on the phone.
She needed to grow up, she needed to wake up and see what was right in front of her: a man who hadn’t been pining for her over the last nine years as she had for him.
Well, okay, not pining but she’d always held her relationship with him as the one, the one that Rick could never live up to and if the note on the box of photographs had told her anything, then perhaps he’d felt it too.
Perhaps Rick had felt she’d never been one hundred per cent into him.
She dug her nails into the palm of her hand.
He hadn’t been into her either. That had been clear when he’d walked out of the cottage and straight into a new home with Lisa, hadn’t it?
Murray opened and closed his mouth without uttering a word.
‘How is everything over here?’ A woman with the broadest smile Ellie had seen in a long time passed by the side of their table.
‘Great, thanks.’ Murray spoke first before shaking his head slightly as though to shelve his and Ellie’s conversation for the time being before looking up and acknowledging the woman at their table.
‘Ruby, hi. Ellie, this is the very talented Ruby, owner of the restaurant. Ruby, this is Ellie, an old friend of mine.’
Swallowing, Ellie tried to follow Murray’s lead and forced a smile, trying her best to ignore the heavy cloud now hanging between them. ‘Hi, Ruby. This mac and cheese is the best I’ve ever tasted.’
‘Thank you. That’s one of our specialities here.’ Ruby grinned again. ‘And seems to be what draws Murray back here.’
‘Haha, I told you I’ve been frequenting here since stumbling across Nettleford during my property search.
’ Murray glanced back at Ellie, his too-light tone making it obvious he was trying his best to appear as though everything was fine between them, as though he hadn’t just turned everything she thought she’d known about him on its head.
‘And I didn’t start searching that long ago, so you can guess how often I come here. ’
‘I don’t blame you.’ Ellie looked back up at Ruby. ‘It’s lovely here, the food, the restaurant itself. I can imagine this won’t be my only visit either.’
‘That’s really kind of you to say. Thank you.’ Ruby grinned. ‘If there’s anything else you need, just give me a shout.’
‘We will. Thank you.’
As Ruby left, Ellie caught Murray’s eye.
His voice had sounded so steady, but now that she was looking at him, she could see an unspoken hurt in his eyes.
Was it because they’d discussed his marriage?
Was he still upset over that? Of course he would be.
She swallowed. However hurt she was to find out he’d moved on so fully from her, it still tugged on her heartstrings to see him upset. ‘I’m sorry to hear about your divorce.’
‘Thank you.’ Murray took a deep breath. ‘We were never right for each other. We fell into marriage because it felt like the right thing to do, and I’m not being callous by saying so. I know for a fact she felt the same way. She made it clear pretty much every day towards the end of our marriage.’
‘Oh.’ Pulling her hands from her lap, Ellie instinctively laid a hand on his forearm. ‘That must have been difficult.’
Murray smiled sadly before looking down at her hand still on his forearm.
‘That was who I was talking to on the phone when I so rudely yelled at you for blocking the gateway to my workshop. She’d rung to tell me she wants me to stop talking to her dad.
What am I supposed to do when the guy rings me?
Cut him off? Ignore his calls? He’s a good man, and we get along. ’
‘That’s tough.’ Ellie moved her hand away.
She’d never been particularly close to Rick’s parents.
In fact, neither had Rick, but she’d been close to Murray’s mum and stepdad and when Murray had left and she’d no longer been visiting them every week or so, it had been an adjustment to say the least. It had been her choice to avoid seeing them, they’d often asked after her, given her messages through her mum, but she’d needed to cut all ties, it would have been too painful to visit them, knowing Murray wouldn’t be opening the front door to her.
But it sounded as though it was a completely different situation with Murray and his ex-father-in-law.
He wanted to keep in contact with him and his ex-wife was making it difficult.
Shaking his head, Murray sighed. ‘Enough of past worries, let’s talk about something nice. Something fun.’
‘Umm… like what?’ The conversation about their past was over then and, to be honest, Ellie was glad of it.
Their talk hadn’t exactly given her any peace; in fact, with the revelation of his visit to her mum and then his marriage, it had caused her more confusion than answered any questions, but she’d had enough of raking over past hurt for tonight.
‘After the past few days, I think I may have forgotten what fun is.’
‘No, I don’t believe that.’ Murray smiled at her, his eyes shining.
Scrunching up her nose, she wracked her brains to try to think of a topic which would constitute ‘fun’ or even just light conversation. Nope. ‘Umm… it’s the village meeting the day after tomorrow.’
‘Haha, from what you’ve said, this promises to be a barrel of laughs.’ He chuckled quietly.
‘Okay, well, I can’t think of anything else to say.’ It was true, her mind was whirring with every detail the conversation had stirred up and she was just relieved she still had the ability to choose her words rather than unleashing her thoughts on him.
‘We should eat before our mac and cheese gets cold.’ Murray picked up his fork and stabbed his pasta. ‘And then perhaps we could take a look at the dessert menu?’
‘Yes.’ Ellie picked up her cutlery again. He’d asked after her. When he’d got back from the States for the first time, he’d asked after her. She shifted on her chair. If her mum had passed on the message, would they have been together now?